I stayed up way too late last night, waiting for Nolan to get home from the Horror thing at Universal. When I was younger, staying up until 3 was no big deal, but making it past midnight is a serious challenge, especially since my stupid brain insists on waking up between 7 and 8 no matter when I went to sleep. I never understood, until I had my own kids, why my parents couldn't – not wouldn't, but couldn't – go to sleep until we came home from wherever we were at night.
I'm telling you this because I just made breakfast (it's been a lazy day here in Chez Wheaton) and it's so awesome I just had to share:
- 1/3 a block of tofu. Silken is preferred, but any firmness will work.
- Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute
- Tapatio or Cholula
- 1/2 a small can of ortega chiles
- 1/4 cup Trader Joe's Salsa Authentica
- Trader Joe's Shredded Mexican Cheese Blend
Chop up the tofu into little cubes and shake some 21 Seasoning Salute over it.
Toss it into a warm skillet and stir it up for about 2 minutes.
Splash as much Tapatioor Cholula as you want over it. Careful not to overdo it, or the only thing you'll taste when you eat it is fire.
Add the chiles, and stir them around.
Add the salsa, and stir it again.
Walk away for one minute.
Add at least one handful of cheese, more if you really want it and are all, "man, I love cheese." Stir the cheese around so its evenly distributed. Say, "Damn, Wil Wheaton, this smells good! I can't wait to eat it!"
Turn the heat off, and serve immediately. You can put it into flour tortillas if you want (I bet it'd be delicious with some pan-roasted red potatoes as a breakfast burrito.)
Yeah, so I got that in my belly right now, which is nice.
…
A few nights ago, Anne and I went up to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get a new Brita pitcher. While we were there, we noticed that they already have the fucking Christmas bullshit out.
"Are you fucking kidding me with that bullshit?" I said to her.
"It's ho ho horrible," she said.
We grabbed our pitcher and hoped it was more effective than the Dodger's pitchers were against the Phillies. Well, I did. I doubt Anne thought about the Dodgers at all.
We walked up to the register, where we both noticed one of those CD kiosks was playing fairly loud Christmas music.
Anne looked at the girl who was ringing us up and said, "Does that Christmas music drive you crazy?"
The girl looked up slowly and deadpanned, "I just tune it out … until someone calls attention to it."
"Oh god. I'm so sorry," Anne said.
I turned to face her, and started the slow clap.
"Don't you dare give me the slow clap!" She said.
"I am totally giving you the slow clap," I said, as I turned to the cashier and apologized for Anne. I gotta tell you, it was weird to be involved in an apology to an innocent bystander and not be the one apologized for.
…
Yesterday, I met my friend David for lunch, and somehow our conversation turned to coffee.
"I really like the Kona coffee," I said, "especially in a press."
"You can get it at the ABC store in Hawaii," David said.
"Yeah, but that's only like 10% actual Kona beans and 90% bullshit beans from Nigeria or someplace."
"Oh, yeah," David said, "you really have to look out for that conflict coffee."
I laughed so hard, I drew withering looks from people nearby who didn't want the Wheaton Guffaw with their salads, I guess.
…
Yesterday's FML moment came from my friend Lynn, who said on Twitter: OH: "I never had a Nintendo but my grandma did." Then, because she hadn't made me feel old enough, felt compelled to point out that her first home game system was Sega Master System. (For the record, my first system – which actually belonged to my parents – was an Odyssey RCA Studio II.) Sigh. I'm 37; I'm not old.
…
If you're a fan of the Memories of the Futurecast, I think you'll be pleased to know that I've given the podcast its own category. From now until they turn the lights out on planet Earth, you can see all the Futurecasts in one place without any of that annoying "other blog shit" getting in the way.
I figured out why episode seven only gave Frontalot's song in iTunes and other aggregators: it was the first MP3 link in the post. As we all know, aggregators aren't quite self-aware enough to figure out that they should get the podcast link instead, so they got confused. I've since changed the links in the post, so iTunes and iTunes-like subscribers should be able to get episode seven in the usual manner, now.
And now, I have a question: I wasn't – wait. I have a statement, followed by a question. Let's start over.
Ahem. Deep breath. Shake the hands. Start again.
And now, I have a statement, followed by some thoughts, which eventually lead to a question: I wasn't seriously planning to do an audio version of Memories because it would be very long (at least 13 hours) and I'm not sure I could sell enough of them to make it worth the time and effort involved. I sort of thought the Futurecast would be a nice substitute for a full audio version, but some people have been asking for a full audio version, similar to what I've done for my other books. I'm still not convinced there are enough potential customers to do it, but I had this thought yesterday during lunch: why didn't I just order my own goddamn sweet potato fries? I also had this thought: What if I did an audio version, but I recorded and released it episodically?
I haven't moved that idea from the "Crazy" file into the "Awesome" file yet, but I'm considering it. If you're one of the people who wants an audio version of Memories, I'd be very interested to hear any thoughts you have about that idea.
…
I may be inheriting a bunch of AD&D modules and a full set of First Edition AD&D (not first printing, first edition) core books. If it happens, I think I'm going to be compelled to get some of my friends together to play, using the rules we all grew up playing. I've been re-reading (for the third time this year) my D&D Basic Rules books, just in case. You know, so I can be ready.
…
I have an idea for a scary story. It involves a monster and a swamp. I hope I can scrape it out of my brain in time to release it for Halloween.
Boy do I love Halloween. We're finally getting to decorate today, which means it's time for Mad Monster Party and Nightmare Before Christmas, too.
…
Finally, this will get its own post, but I'm so thrilled to find this that I had to include it here: someone recorded all of w00tstock 1.1 from Los Angeles earlier this week, and uploaded it. It's an audience recording, so you can pretend you are actually sitting at Largo next to the guy who recorded it! If it's the guy I think it was, he had a magnificent pimp hat on. If it's not … well, now you know that there was a guy at w00tstock in LA with a magnificent pimp hat, and you have yet another reason to wish you were there, sukka.
i love sweet potato fries.
Also, you should do the episodic Memories — maybe similar to the Futurecast setup where you don’t have to do ALL of every chapter, and also adding in additional commentary gives people a reason to buy the book AND listen to the audio.
Reading what you cooked for breakfast, all I could go is ugh. Not what I’d call a good breakfast at all. But it’s all cultural, because i’m guessing many others would say the same to bacon, sausage, eggs, beans and mushrooms, my essentials for any decent fry-up
I feel your love for Halloween. My wife and I got married on 10/31 (not only because of our love for Halloween, but for an easily remembered anniversary!) and we’re going to be running through a GURPS Zombie Apocalypse game in honor of the holiday!
If I did an audio version, each episode would be the *full* chapter from the book, more like a traditional (well, as close as I get to traditional) audio book.
It would have to be fundamentally different from the podcast, so people would have incentive to buy it, and I’d have incentive to produce it.
If it makes you feel any better, my first “console” system was the TI99-4a computer (my family worked for Texas Instruments)…then we got an Odyssey!
Yes please, to the Audio Episodes of MOTF. In the words of ‘Robocop’, “I’d buy that for a Dollar!” (or however much you decided to charge…I wouldn’t drea of telling you how to price your creativity…for now…heh heh heh…ahem)
PS: I’m 26 And my first game system was an Intellivision. So no worries there Mr. H’wheaton
My TI99-4a remains, to this day, my most beloved computer system of all time.
That breakfast sounds a bit spicy for early in the morning. I’d love to try it for lunch, though.
An episodic audio version of MotF might work but I’m not sure I’d buy it, especially if you keep up the Futurecasts. My physical copy arrived last week and I love it and there’s enough extra entertainment in it to complement the futurecasts.
I guess you should set up a poll or something to see if it would be worth it.
I’m still trying to download the w00tstock video but I guess there are a few too many people trying at the moment and I’ll see what it’s like tomorrow.
I’ve got nothing against vegetarians or vegans. Some of my best friends are vegetarians. But I refuse to accept tofu in any shape or form. It’s just not right.
I busted out laughing at the Christmas music thing. If you think that’s bad …
I used to work at a dry cleaners which had three of those rotating conveyors for storing and retrieving clothes. While I was working there, we got a new point of sale system, which among other things let us control the conveyors from the computers. Cool time saver, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought until the first time I used it.
Each of the three conveyors had a little box attached to it which, while it was running, played a horrible MIDI version of Fur Elise.
Out of sync with each other.
In three different keys.
I tolerated this cacophany, day in and day out, for more than a year (until I got laid off), and I often had the same exchange with customers that your clerk had with Anne–“Honestly, I don’t even hear it any more until someone points it out.” (Oddly this did not stop me from humming a harmony with it.) Tell her not to feel too bad, the clerk was probably distracted away from it again moments later. 🙂
At least we had the decency to wait until December before starting the Christmas music!
I ha to read the bit about Bed, Bath and Beyond to my wife. You could replace you and Anne with my wife and I and the story would be just as valid.
As for the Memories full audio ep idea… Please, sir, may I have some more.
Awesome. I love the snippets.
>>”It’s ho ho horrible,”<< Hahaha, slow clap worthy or not, that quote deserves a genuine applause. Your breakfast scrambles sounds nummy, but makes me even more sadface that I am allergic to soy. I only eat organic land meat and not much at that. I did however come up with a killer tasty vegetable lasagna!
This is a lame fan-post. I’ve never left a message on on a blog before, and it has very little to do with the main post, sorry.
I just finished Just a Geek, and I started it at 8AM this morning. Wesley was my first TV crush, and now I’ve totally got an adult “hey let’s go get some overpriced coffee together” crush on Wil Wheaton – end of lame geek out.
37 is not old – because if it was, then 32 would be almost-old, which it most certainly is not.
the first game system i had (and the only until i was like 24 and spent $16 for an N64- i have no idea why) was an Atari 800 that my brother and i got for christmas in 1980. i was two. and boy did i master “monkey up a tree” (was on the cassettes!) and got pretty decent at “miner 2049er”. the darn thing still works (not the cassette player games though) and occasionally james and i pull it out for nostalgia. our neighbor kid came over one time we had it out (he’s 16 years younger than i, and was 8ish at the time i think) and had no idea what it was until he saw the games on the screen. then he went on about how crappy it was until we kicked him out. 🙁 kids today. sheesh.
“(For the record, my first system – which actually belonged to my parents – was an Oddyssey.)”
How about Pong. A very early version. Used – from my cousins… and my brother and I were on cloud 9….
And, yes, I guess that does date me a bit.
Oooh, more cool stuff to listen to! Gonna take some of the pain out of sorting out all my overdue paperwork next week. And if you bring out an episodic audio version of Memories, I promise to buy it!
I’ve had some excellent tofu dishes at Chinese restaurants but I can’t stand soy milk or cream used in desserts. I once had to eat a chocolate mousse made with tofu cream. It was horrible. The texture was wrong and it had an awful by-taste.
Seconded. My TI99/4A not only taught me things like reading and math (Early Learning Fun!) but it’s sitting on my coffee table with a Defender cartridge loaded into it as I write this. Thank God it never became a victim of the garage sale.
*ahem* Tofu is not wrong. Tofu is good. I personally wouldn’t just take a bite out of a chunk of it – I don’t like it that way – but using it the way Wil did, or a myriad of other ways, is very yummy, taste- and texture-wise. “Not right” is murdering animals for our own appetites.
@AliciaWag
Karohemd-
Before you give up on soy milks & ice creams, try lots of brands. I’ve had some REALLY yummy ones!! Also, try ones made with coconut milk instead of soy. They’re so good, you will have a tonguegasm.
@AliciaWag
I’ve become a bigger fan of Halloween now that my son is too old for Trick or Treating. We’ve been doing more and more elaborate decorating each year. Graveyard, fog machine, electric chair, guillotine (8ft tall). We have fun getting a scream out of at least a couple kids each year.
First game systems-an Atari before they got numbered (played 7 games) and a Coleco-vision. I was in grade school when Intellivision was NEW! First computer I used had 4K of RAM (yes, 4K) and you saved programs on cassette tapes.
For a MotF Audiobook I think the episodic idea is good. If you don’t sell enough of Chapter 1 to make it worth your while you just stop.
Much agreed 37 is not old. I’m 40 soon and I’m nowhere near old yet. And re: “grandma had a Nintendo” my mother-in-law was the first in the family to get a Gameboy, PS2, and Wii.
Our first console, and I have no idea where my dad found it, was an RCA Studio II. The only game I remember was bowling, in which you “threw” a large white square at 10 small white squares. No controllers, just keypads on either side of the console.
Now we have a Wii, and what are we playing? Bowling. So I guess it comes full circle.
Holy shit. This is what we had, not an Odyssey. Until you said the name, I couldn’t actually see it in my head, but now I can: sitting on a steamer trunk mom and dad used as a table in our den, just to the side of the black and white TV. I need to update the post, now.
You can’t be old…that would make ME old, which I am not.
First “system” was a Telstar Pong when Expert meant the paddle lines where shorter. We got it when I was in 4th grade in ’76. After that, it was a 2600 (actually, it was a Sears Telegames), but I always thought, and still think IntelliVision Football is my favorite game of all time. Although my friends had a Colecovision with Zaxxon.
Episodic “Memories” would be cool, I hope you get enough interest.
Sweet Potato Fries rock, but especially if you put brown sugar and cinnamon on them instead of salt.
I’m 39 and my first home computer was an Amiga. My technophobic and computer illiterate parents wouldn’t buy me any games consoles so in the early days, I had to go over to my neighbour’s house and play on his Atari 2600 but I was never any good at them.
Even these days, I much prefer point-and-click adventures then any other games on the PC.
To go off of Wil’s blog post: Same as it ever was.
I enjoy your podcasts and the Just a Geek audio book (With the white label. Someday you’ll come to Florida and I can get you to sign that bad boy).
I’m sure I would enjoy an audio version of Memories of the Future, but I have something different on my wishlist. I’d much rather have audio commentary as you watch the episode. It wouldn’t have to be anything fancy – just like watching TV with you. It would be so fun to fire up the commentary and watch the episode at the same time. I know people have asked about that for Stand by Me, and that it’s a lot of work. I’m just sayin’ is all.
“well, as close as I get to traditional”
Please never change your audio performance style. One of the things I, and everyone else I wager, enjoy most about your audiobooks/podcasts is that they have such personality, when you leave the page and share more with the listener, it makes them so much more special.
To make you feel a tiny bit better about the Dodgers, Will. This made me laugh pretty hard.
http://www.viddler.com/explore/failblog/videos/321/
I think of myself as a foodie, but I don’t even know what Tapatio and Cholula ARE.
That was definitely a slow-clap moment.
Man, I’m about to turn 40, and my first game system was an ***ATARI 2600*** (followed by a Colecovision, God help me). My first real computer was a C=64, with the cassette tape storage drive.
I started with Basic – I bought the Red and Blue Boxes about six months before AD&D 1st Ed PH came out (then promptly bought that).
Curse you! Now I have the theme music from the Commodore 64 commercial running in my head (I adore my 64…) Yes I am that old. My niece had an Atari when I was in high school. There was a game with dragons and keys that when you won all these colored lights flashed. The only time I played and won the flashing lights made me pass out. The passing out was the reason I never went into arcades or played video games.
Halloween themed gaming? Sounds interesting. I played D&D for a while in high school (early 80s okay) with a bunch of girls. The DM was male. Sad to say it ended badly and I never played again. I feel that I’ve missed some interesting stuff. Especially the card based games (Mystic Warlords of Ka’a!!!) I’ve been to cons that had gaming rooms but I’ve always felt so out of my element that I never stay long. Maybe someday.
Darn the complex multi-posts:
1. I have a few years until my step-sons can put me though that. I have noticed it is THEIR fault that I get up at 7, though.
2. That recipe will be transferred to my wife. Sounds like something we can both eat for a change.
3. You went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Wus. I still refuse to go in there.
4. Caffeine=mind control.
5. My first game system was Pong. Two switches, Two knobs, white plastic angled case, faux wood sticker on top. Freakin sweet. Second was Intellivision. I’m 6 months younger than thee.
6. I would be MORE likely to want and audio version of Memories if it was released episodically. That idea is full of win.
7. I’m not trying to comment on all the sections of the post, so I’ll stop now…
Except to say that I am writing a research paper on Environmentalism in Star Trek and may be soliciting your comments on the matter, because that would be awesome.
and not to pile on but throw these into your collective consciousness:
Hunt the Wumpus!
Lode Runner
Zork
Wow! I’ve never come across anyone who’s even heard of the thing, let alone owned one.
I’m pretty sure my folks still have it somewhere. I’ll have to go hunting next time I visit.
I remember a game we had for the TI, I forget what it was called (might have been Lode Runner), that took such a long time to load, there was a message on the screen that said something along the lines of
“This is a slow loader, my friend. So slow, in fact, that you might as well go get yourself a beer”
We also had a speech synthesizer. We never got tired of making the computer swear at us.
I had a pong too, then played games on my dad’s old Xerox computer (with 10 inch floppies).
One thing I miss terribly from living in LA, chorizo breakfast burritos. Those were good. Just can’t get good chorizo in PA. BTW, go Phillies!!! haha!!
Everyone has their own ideas about breakfast, which can change at any time. I used to be a bacon-and-eggs-and-hash browns guy, but my cardiologist objected. Something about living past age 45. 🙂 Now I can’t face the morning without my oatmeal w/cinnamon and unsweetened vanilla soymilk. Yum!
Tapatio and Cholula are the canonical Mexican hot sauces. Lots of people in my neck of the woods (Southern California) put it on everything.
Well, Wil, you are old.
♥ 🙂
I love the idea of an audio version of MOTF, whether it be in episode form or the whole book I am so in. I hope you move it to the “Awesome” category soon. Just finished Memories of the Future Vol 1 today, it was great. I loved Star Trek TNG, while I agree the first season was not the best, I never hated Wesley, in fact I identified with him quite a lot and he was one of the main reasons I tuned in.
I tried to re-download futurecast episode 7, but I guess I tunes didn’t update the changes you made or something because I just got the song again. At least I have the MP3 version of all of them for my listening pleasure.
The first system i ever owned was an Atari, but the first I ever played was either the gaming addition to the PET computer or the Commodore 64 I am not sure which. Although I did own the mini-arcade version of Frogger before that I believe. Although, I think that either Colecovision or Nintendo were my favourite.
I think it’s great that I have seen you guest starring on so many TV shows lately, maybe edgy is finally out. Keep it up, I love seeing you appear on all my favourites.
Ah, dear, dear Wil… you certainly are NOT old at 37. Not even close, so don’t let people tell you that you are. Especially your children. They WILL lie to you about that. Mine certainly does. And I’m nowhere NEAR being old at 51. So there.
Pass me some of those sweet potato fries, will ya?
Make Wil do the Memories of the Future Audiobook epis… episod… incrementally: +1
Great post! I like the little odds and ends. My first system was either a C64 (technically a “computer” but you know..) or a intellivision. Though both were bought second hand in the mid-late 80’s. My brother and I even had our own C64s at one point, and we shared a room! Though the SNES was my first real console love.
Oh, I hope you do inherit those 1st edition AD&D books and modules and post about your daring adventures and deadly dungeons. I’ve been loving those podcasts for WotC and it’d be awesome to hear about what kind of dungeons you’re running. I actually have been playing a 1e campaign with my step-dad and some family friends for the past year or so and it’s so much fun!
woohoo! atari 2600! (oh god i *am* old. . . *sigh* ).
as for the installment version of an audio memories of the future i’m all for it. 🙂 one of my favorite podcasters does his novels this way and it is wonderful. no set schedule so we tend to badger him (lovingly) but we wait and then gobble each installment up as it hits itunes.
My first system was a ColecoVision (I know… I know.) I found my first white hairs the other day. But at least I can take comfort in the fact that you will always be a couple years older than I.
I have a friend in Hawaii that mails me coffee and macadamia nuts cover with chocolate all the time.
Seriously DUDE! People would eat MotF audiochapters? (I suppose that is a fitting term). Even so I have purchased the book, THESE I would purchase because I love LOVE when you do these stories live. There is something different about how you perform these stories than the way you perform your life stories, right down to your body language that I quite enjoy. Not saying I do not enjoy the other auditory stories but these have their own nice unique flavour to them.
Do you still want to stuff turkeys in store front windows? It is an odd thing to walk into the store and see Hallowe’en costumes in one aisle and Christmas decoration in the aisle right beside it.
(oh crap, I just pulled a Jules and scrolled up to re-read your post. Then I decided to be stupid and click a link and navigate to a different page instead of right-click, open link in new window. I felt as I did the day I hit delete domain one day by accident in my CP. Thank Bob for “are you sure you want to delete your domain” messages. I just said SHIT I hope I don’t have to retype what I said but phew I click back in my handy dandy browser and it was still all here waiting for me)
And because I just scared the crap out of myself, I forgot what else I was going to say and rereading your post is not helping.
I have written many a post like yours before but never had the balls to post them because I don’t need to confirm people’s suspicions that I am a nutter. At least when you do it, they are interesting random thoughts 🙂
I would be thrilled with a Memories episodic podcast. Do it!
There are so many things right with this post, I barely know where to begin. So I am going to stick with the office work format I have been using all day, and go with a list.
> Last night I was having a debate with my friend over dinner about Tapatio vs. Cholula when we were eating at Herbivore (do you have those in LA?). Somehow our waitress got involved in the conversation, and I have never seen someone so repulsed by the very mention of Cholula. Which was doubly odd, because that is what they put out on the tables at the Herb.
> During the same conversation, I was selling my friend on your “Memories of the Futurecast”, even though I had only listened to the 7ep at that point. I started from the beginning today, and have to say that I am loving it. I would be really interested in the full, chapter by chapter, audiobook version as well. Aside from an interesting business model, I have been really captivated by the idea of serialized releases as of late. So, yeah, I vote you move that idea into the “Awesome” file.
> I remember reading that exchange between you and Lynn last night and thinking wtf? How old was the person that she overheard? I mean, I’m a bit younger than you (26), but I owned a NES (as my first console). Pretty sure I’m not old enough to be a grandfather…legally.
> The last thing I would like to say is that in reading this, I am bummed that I missed w00tstock when it was in SF, but I’m pretty sure the Swedish American Hall is not wheelchair accessible. Did you notice by any chance?
Since I am 17 years your junior(not that you’re old or anything), my first game system was a Sega Genesis complete with two games: Sonic the Hedgehog and some other fight game my cousin was crazy for. But my favorite system ever was my Nintendo 64 which I got when I was 7 and played nearly everyday until I was about 14. High school, you know? I don’t know much about any other system other than the N64 because I was stubborn and refused to enjoy any other type. Damn my N64 loyalty(..or infantile ways?).
As for Christmas music, thank you Wil for reminding me. I need to bust out my *NSYNC Christmas CD which has Lip Smackers lip prints all over the pictures of Lance Bass(my dad warned me:/). My seasonal guilty pleasure. (You’re not old, I’m just young) 🙂
Oh, and I just got Just A Geek in the mail last week and I’m loving it! I have to keep reminding myself that it’s a book and not a letter to me, because I keep having the urge to call and talk to you about it or write you back. It’s a keeper for sure.
There’s a debate about Tapatio and Cholula? Why can’t we all just get along, and use whatever hot sauce we like?
I mean … can you imagine what would happen if you brought Rooster sauce into this debate?
IT WOULD BE MADNESS!