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Nicolas Cage has a FEVER and the only cure is more pachinko

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One of my great regrets is that, when I was super famous (back in the Swatches-on-jacket years), I didn't get to do one of these bizarre Japanese commercials. I think I would have been the most number one super terrific selling power in the entire prefecture for surprise time.

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29 November, 2009 Wil

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he strikes like thunderball, because it’s not unusual that she’s a lady → ← the guild the guild the guild THE GUILD THE GUILD THE MOTHERFRAKKING GUILD

38 thoughts on “Nicolas Cage has a FEVER and the only cure is more pachinko”

  1. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509647078 says:
    29 November, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    If more American commercials were like this, I might actually watch television.

  2. Thiefree says:
    29 November, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    What is this I don’t even –

  3. Robyn says:
    29 November, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    This confused me so much, yet I couldn’t turn away. Nicholas Cage + shiny things = MUST. WATCH.

  4. JCB1978 says:
    29 November, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    hahaha!! I can so see you doing one of these commercials. What the heck happened to good commercials anyway??? Substitute the truck and cowboy clothes for a spaceship and trek uniform and there you have it. This was great..thanks Wil:)

  5. Alterune says:
    29 November, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Pachinko Fever sounds like it would be an awesome movie.
    Nicholas Cage in…PACHINKO FEVER.

  6. Heidi says:
    29 November, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    So I was thinking this was Japanese pinball right up until the dancing metal men…

  7. twitter.com/ElenaShoemaker says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Honestly, I think you should send the Swatch jacket pics out to people who want your autograph today. That would be so awesomepants.

  8. Turi Becker says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    The role Nic Cage was meant to play…

  9. ropo.livejournal.com says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    This is completely crazycakes, and I say that as a kid who HAD a Pachinko machine!

  10. Justin_harris says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    All I keep thinking is, he did all those ridiculous commercials and the guy still has a shitload of money problems. Ha!

  11. Antiavenger says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Ah… Nick Cage… I don’t even know what to say about this except it was both awesome and hilarious but in a humiliating kind of way… The kitsch factor just reached garden gnome painted on black velvet.

  12. rob-t-firefly.livejournal.com says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    You were a guest on Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show. This means you’re every bit as awesome… except on purpose.

  13. Tipart says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    Hahaha, pachinko is one of those absurd things for which an an absence of cultural familiarity allows the raw insanity of the activity to shine though. Not so unlike watching Andrew WK, but even more pure and intense. Not unlike these commercials.

  14. Martianscribe says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    Whoo, a guy with money problems advertising gambling? Guess now we know where it all went . . .

  15. chuckgoolsbee says:
    29 November, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    “I’ll be takin’ these Huggies, and whatever Pachinko balls you’ve got there behind the counter…”
    (Hilarity ensues…)


  16. Cigamerisedi says:
    29 November, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    I LOVE his level of commitment. 😀 Fabulous…

  17. Refflection says:
    29 November, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Every day I thank the universe for Japanese people. What would the world be like without them and their super awesome happy fun times?

  18. HydrogenGuy says:
    29 November, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    These commercials were clearly done as preparation for his character in “The Wicker Man”.

  19. Pete Arnold says:
    29 November, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    Why is it that watching things like this makes me want to learn more about the Japanese, and yet at the same time… want to avoid them like the bubonic plaigue?

  20. Dracoprimus says:
    30 November, 2009 at 12:26 am

    wow. that’s all I can say.

  21. Noobule says:
    30 November, 2009 at 2:32 am

    You may not be regular super-famous, but you’re certainly geek super-famous, and japan certainly has geeks, and I’m sure there’s japanese geeks out there who freaking love Pachinko. …Who love Pachinko and are really looking for a guiding principle in life. Jeez dude, you’re like 4 steps away from the Holy Temple of Weaton’s Law, Kyoto.

  22. Cindy Schafer says:
    30 November, 2009 at 4:52 am

    I wouldn’t think you would WANT to be “super famous” nowadays…those freakin tabloids and photographers are ruthless (not to mention idiotic and insane). Some of us are just tickled when you appear on our fave tv shows (watched “Paradise” ep over the weekend–you play psycho very convincingly. Hmmm…?).

  23. pojut says:
    30 November, 2009 at 6:05 am

    How could you forget about the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show??? You were in that, Wil! You played an agent of some sort, dressed up in a suit. I has proof!



    I know it isn’t the same as being on a Japanese game show…but it isn’t far off 😉

  24. Phil73805 says:
    30 November, 2009 at 6:31 am

    Just when I thought Nic Cage had hit rock bottom, he starts drilling! That commercial was…well, I feel violated and not in a good way.

  25. Phil73805 says:
    30 November, 2009 at 6:36 am

    Sweet merciful crap! That’s some serious verbal diarrhea dude 🙂

  26. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=596322425 says:
    30 November, 2009 at 6:54 am

    And my great regret is not paying $35 for that pachinko machine I saw at a garage sale.

  27. Francine says:
    30 November, 2009 at 7:01 am

    When can we expect Memories of the Future Volume 2? Please hurry, as I’ve finished volume 1 and now my life is back to being meaningless again.

  28. Robert McClelland says:
    30 November, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Why live with regrets, Wil. Just grab a camera and make your own bizarre Japanese commercial.

  29. Wil says:
    30 November, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Funny you should say that …

  30. Danyiel says:
    30 November, 2009 at 10:20 am

    Oh Wil grabs his camera and makes bizzare tapes with it all right. He just doesn’t wan’t everyone knowing about his “super secret tea parties” with stuffed animals and a life-size cardboard cut-out of a famous celebrity that shall remain nameless…for now, anyway. It’s a blackmail thing. He knows what I’m talking about.

  31. Danyiel says:
    30 November, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Wow. That made me crack the hell up and I’m sick as a dog today. Thank you for that! And, um, feel free to comment on all of the wonderful verbal diarrhea that I usually post on here.

  32. Danyiel says:
    30 November, 2009 at 10:53 am

    I know, right? It makes you wonder how much he got paid to do this spot, either that or he’s a much better actor than I’ve given him credit for in the past!

  33. Danyiel says:
    30 November, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Hahaha. OK, seriously, as sick as I am right now you’d think I wouldn’t be laughing as hard as I am at these comments. It really does sound like a craptastic movie that he would be starring in, though.

  34. Danyiel says:
    30 November, 2009 at 11:16 am

    I don’t know, Wil, you shouldn’t sell yourself short. I’ve seen less famous actors than you in foreign commercials. The guy who played Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs did a Swedish commercial for lip balm and recited the whole “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me, I’d fuck me HARD!” speech verbatim while applying the lip balm and “Goodbye Horses” was playing in the background. I’m kind of torn over which spot is more disturbing, his, or Nicolas Cage’s.

  35. CaseyCannolis says:
    30 November, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    My greatest regret is that I can experience this clip for the first time only once. Oh, if only I had *known it would be so amazing, I could have saved watching it for a special occasion; like my birthday, or during the birth of my next child.
    *Wil Wheaton, I will trust your opinion of awesome things in the future.

  36. tm says:
    30 November, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    For some twisted reason, I’m seeing Wil doing commercials for maid cafes in Akihabara. I’m sure Wil will say, “Whoa, I’m not that kind of geek–wait, was she wearing cat ears?”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maid_cafe

  37. Sonya Bateman says:
    1 December, 2009 at 5:45 am

    Ah, thank you! That was simply amazing … I will now geek out for a week. 🙂

  38. Elbow says:
    4 December, 2009 at 1:44 am

    Oh, god! I still remember when I first saw the commercial.
    I couldn’t believe what I was watching and took some minutites until I realize the man was the NICHOLAS CAGE!!!
    And of course laughed so hard. Gosh.
    Here in Japan, Pachinko CMs are aired in the time slots in late night due to the nature of Pachinko that is the R18 game of gambling. I guess that condition fuels the wackyness to all the other Pachinko CMs here; midnight=you are either too “high” or too sleepy to keep your sensibility which functions OK during the daytime.
    Thanks for the entry. I really do hope you will be on one of the CMs here. (crossing my fingers)

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