I had a rather … interesting … weekend. According to Paul and Storm on Sunday, I won the game of "What I did last night" that I didn't even know we were playing. It was so surreal, I'm mostly writing this down today so I never forget what an incredible time we had.
Saturday, Anne and I were invited to a party at Seth Macfarlane's house for the release of Family Guy Something Something Something Dark Side (their parody of Empire Strikes Back).
I almost didn't go, because I never know anyone at parties like that and end up feeling like a tourist, but I really like Seth and figured there was a non-zero chance I'd see at least one other person I knew while we were there. "Besides," I told Anne, "if we really feel like we don't fit in, we can always go out to dinner or something."
We parked in a garage on Sunset and took a shuttle bus up terrifyingly narrow and winding roads into the Hollywood hills, while the last edge of a nasty winter storm did its best to convince us we were all going to die. When we got to Seth's house, I understood why we needed to park so far away: he lives on the top of a mountain and you could probably only park ten cars there.
The whole thing is a blur, but I shared some highlights with Twitter, which I reprint here with added context and whatnot:
Not only did I not expect paparazzi at this party, I didn't expect them to give a shit about me. That was really weird.
We walked up his driveway, and I was totally unprepared to see an actual press line, with a red carpet and photographers and everything. Usually when there's a press line, there's also a normal walkway without press for normal people to use. I really don't like the whole press line thing, so I always try to go down the other walkway. It's never really been an issue, because for much of the last decade, nobody in the entertainment press has given a shit about me and I can sneak in under a radar that isn't exactly waiting for me to return a ping.
This time, though, it was different. I walked down the normal person entrance, and when I was about two steps from the door, I realized that people were calling my name. From the press line. "That's weird," I thought. "Well, I'm almost in the door, so I'll just keep walking and they'll forget about me in five seconds."
"Who's calling you?" Anne said.
"Photographers, I think," I said. "Let's just keep going and they'll lose interest."
That's when I saw that the people in front of us had stopped, and I was trapped.
I realize this may seem strange to a lot of people, but I really hate having my picture taken, especially when it's by a ton of photographers who all yell my name over and over again while they fire off dozens of flashes and pictures each in the span of about 60 seconds. I can't stress how uncomfortable and self conscious that whole thing makes me feel, but I felt like I was really being a dick by refusing to walk ten feet away and let them do it, so I went over, tried to put on my "I'm happy to be here and not completely freaked out by this whole thing" face, and two profoundly uncomfortable minutes later, got to walk into the party.
http://twitpic.com/tb62v - Ice sculpture of Stewie as Darth Vader. Cool!
When we saw that ice sculpture, the total mindfuck of being in someone's house for a big-budget party with hundreds of strangers totally settled in. It was like, "Oh, you're not just here for a nifty thing at Seth's house. If the fucking press line out front didn't clue you in, Wheaton, you're at a Very Big Deal Event." But I'm not going to lie to you, Marge, that ice sculpture was even cooler (ha! ha! cooler!) in person than it appears in any of the photographs I've seen from the party.
I'm in a room at Seth Macfarlane's house with a full orchestra, and a bar made entirely out of ice. This is so weird.
After we saw the ice sculpture, we wandered around a little bit (Seth's house is one of those giant places that could fit my entire home in the garage) until we walked down some stairs and discovered that the wonderful big band music we'd been hearing since we walked in was actually being created by a live big band. Like, a 22 65-piece live big band. With a conductor and a dance floor and everything.
We saw Seth (who looked every inch the Rat Packer in his white jacket and red carnation) and thanked him for inviting us. At first, he didn't recognize me (on account of my luxurious beard, a theme that would repeat itself again in a moment) but when he did, he got super excited to introduce me to his orchestra's conductor, Ron Jones. Ron scored Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Seth was such a huge TNG fan, he hired him to score Family Guy. When Seth introduced us, Ron smiled warmly and said, "It's so lovely to meet you. I scored your childhood."
It was such a wonderful sentiment, and said with such joy and nostalgia, I looked at Anne and had to blink my eyes several times. Seth got pulled away by one of the hundreds of people who wanted to talk to him, and Anne and I talked with Ron for a little bit before he had to go back to conducting his orchestra.
I just saw @levarburton. He didn't recognize me, on account of my luxurious beard. Ha!
I saw LeVar and his family, and would have run across the room if it hadn't been packed with people.
"Hi, I follow you on Twitter and you never reply to me," I said.
LeVar laughed and said, "That's because I'm an asshole. What's your Twitter name?"
I thought, "Ha! LB doesn't recognize me!" so I said, "It's WilW, but you can call me … Whil Wheaton!"
LeVar engulfed me with a hug and told me he didn't recognize me, on account of my luxurious beard. We talked for as long as you can reasonably talk in a room packed with people, an orchestra, and a bar made entirely from ice, before deciding that we'd just hook up in a week or so in a more quiet and normal location to catch up.
I am about to have my picture taken with … wait for it … Chewbacca Claus.
The printer they were using to make these photos jammed, so we don't have a copy of ours. Apparently, though, we'll be getting a copy via the magic of the internet soon. When that happens, I will produce the photographic proof that so many people on Twitter require before accepting that this event actually happened.
So, uh, it turns out that Katie Sackhoff and I are in the mutual admiration society. (Squee!)
Yeah, so … that was weird. The next day, upon realizing I'd misspelled her name, I told Twitter: "So in my nerdglee last night, I misspelled Katee Sackhoff's name. As someone whose first name is frequently misspelled, I'm mortified." Katee was friendly and excited and told me that she grew up watching TNG with her dad, who would probably have a heart attack upon learning that she'd met me. I didn't tell her that I was fairly sure a lot of people in the Twitterverse would have a similar reaction upon learning that I had met her. (And they did, too. I felt a disturbance in the Force, like a million billion million people cried out a Sheldonesque WHHHHHEEEEEAAATTTOOONNNN! and were suddenly silenced.)
We talked about working on Big Bang Theory and being nerds, and then I had to pee.
I didn't Twitter this because my phone battery died, but I ran into Simon Helberg (Wolowitz on the aforementioned BBT, and Moist on the not-until-now mentioned Doctor Horrible) on my way to the restrooms, which was a cluster of port-a-potties arranged beneath a tent on one of Seth Macfarlane's numerous and spacious patios.
Simon was on his way out, so I said, "Hey, how plush are those things?"
"Oh, they're magnificent," he said. "Each one has a restroom attendant inside."
Maybe this was only funny to us, but we riffed on the concept of not just a single restroom attendant inside an 8 square-foot port-a-pottie, but a different one inside each port-a-pottie, for a very long time. Simon is a tremendously funny and kind person. I loved everyone on Big Bang Theory, but I really hope I get to have scenes with him if they ever bring back Evil Wil Wheaton.
Now I'm about 20 feet from Seth, as he sings Dean Martin's "I've got my love to keep me warm" with the orchestra. This is FUCKING AWESOME!
This is unbelievable. We're getting a private Rat Pack-style show from Seth in his freakin' house.
You know that Seth sings all the songs on Family Guy, right? He has made no secret of his love of show tunes and crooners, and the man can fucking sing, people. It was infectious how much fun he was having. Whatever the party cost, I'm bet he'd say it was worth it, just to sing for his friends (and a lot of strangers) backed up by an orchestra … in his freakin' house.
Draw a Venn Diagram of Weird, Awesome, Surreal, and How The Hell Did I Get Invited To This? And put me in the middle. That was my night.
Someone actually made that diagram, which rules.
As midnight approached, Anne and I felt old and tired, and we'd had an incredible time, so we rode a shuttle bus down the hill to the parking lot, and drove home to our delightfully normal lives, where we live in a small house with a lovely patio that can probably only accommodate a single port-a-pottie, if we move the table to one side.
I doubt Seth Macfarlane will ever see this, and I know that for a party of this magnitude, he probably had no personal involvement with our invitation, but just in case: Thanks, Seth. We had a wonderful time, your home is beautiful, and you sang like an angel. Something Something Something Christmas.
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Amazing! How lucky are you??
That was wildly entertaining and made me inhumanly jealous! 🙂
Sounds like you had a hella good time. Congrats (esp on the beard)!!!
Sorry I couldn’t think where else to post this but well-known Canadian SF writer Peter Wells was recently arrested at the US-Canada border, apparently for having the gall to ask a border officer a question and refusing to take “Get back in the car!” for an answer. Full story from Cory Doctorow here:
http://io9.com/5424502/sf-writer-peter-watts-arrested-beaten-at-us%20canadian-border
Great post. I’m glad you had such a great time. You remind me of the way that I usually feel about gatherings where I don’t think I’ll know anyone.
It sounds like you had one of the most life-affirming evenings of the year. Papped, Sacked and Rat-Packed all in a single evening. Huge success!
That is AWESOME! The whole red carpet hounding you for your picture thing is both awesome and shitty…but meh, not everything can be perfect 😉 Got anymore pics of the night? Oh, and I gotta ask…did they have crazy-cold shrimp on platters? No good party is complete without crazy-cold shrimp on platters…
http://www.livingwithanerd.com
Where’s the photo of your luxurious beard? 🙂
I like the idea of there being a new sub-culture in Hollywood…the “G” list. Geek and geek appreciative celebs. I’d rather go to a “G” list party than an “A” any day.
*sniff* That is a beautiful story and a beautiful sentiment. something something something Christmas, yourself Mr. Wheaton.
@pyxl YES! G-list! The best list of all. 🙂
No crazy-cold shrimp, but the guy who was catering the party is some kind of gourmet grilled cheese sandwich genius, so we had some of those.
HOLY CARP.
I need a cigarette after that nerdgasm…
Yes, very nice, but was Frank Sinatra Jr. there? They seem to be sort of BFFs.
I first discovered Seth could sing a few years back when he showed up at a Burbank karaoke bar that some friends and I were regularly frequenting at the time. Midway through the night, everyone’s attention is commanded by this guy singing “Here’s to the Losers” in perfect Rat Pack fashion… and yet, beyond getting the style down, there was something familiar about that voice…
Finally my friend said, “You realize who that is, don’t you? It sounds just like Brian singing.” I, still being slow on the uptake, didn’t make the connection until he clairified “Brian from Family Guy.”
He proved to be a helluva nice guy. One of the girls in our party had just gone through a bad break-up and to her chagrin, one of our friends dedicated a song to her saying, “She just broke up with a loser and needs to meet someone nice.” About half an hour one of those rose peddlers comes into the bar, trying to get people to buy his wares. We waved him off and about five minutes later, he comes back with his entire bucket’s work of roses.
“Hey man, we said we weren’t interested,” one of us said.
The peddler hands ALL of the roses to my newly-single friend, and indicates they were a gift from “that guy at the bar.”
Yep. You guessed it. Seth.
I’m not the biggest Family Guy fan, but Seth’s a class act in my book.
Thanks for the post, Wil. I don’t think Seth paid for the party, as it was thrown by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment to promote the DVD release.
Nothing like some grilled cheese:-) Here is what goes into grilled cheese in our house:
– Texas Toast bread
– Swiss Cheese
– Munster Cheese
– Green Tabasco
– Single drop of Sriracha sauce
Perfect blend of tasty and spicy. It will keep your belly warm and your chest hairy. Good, good stuff. You can swap out either of those cheeses for Provolone, but the two mentioned above work best in my opinion.
Oh. I did not know that.
Well, I'm still happy he opened his home to us, anyway! 🙂
This is really cool. I’m sure I’ll never get within 10 miles of this kind of party. Thanks for sharing – the way you kind of portray this “everyman” perspective, even though you’re Wil Wheaton and Shit, is pretty awesome. It’s why I love to read your blog.
PS MY HANNUKAH PRESENT FROM LULU AND YOU ARRIVED TODAY!!! (I am saving it open as a reward when I finish installing the damned range hood I bought over the weekend. Yes! Your book is my reward. 🙂 )
Wil,
These are the types of stories that made me fall in love with your blog in the first place so many years ago. I love hearing your inner geek/fanboy voice come through as you describe events with such wonderful detail. You really are a wonderful storyteller. 🙂
I love your writing! Now that that’s out of the way, sounds like an awesome part-a, I love how down to earth you are amidst the whole Hollywood blah blah blah.
I’m glad you posted this. After reading your bits on Twitter this weekend, I really wanted to know more. I loved seeing the Venn Diagram. I’m just a bit sad that my daughter (now 23) never learned this (or she may have learned it as an aside later on). And so it doesn’t mean much to her when I refer to a Venn diagram for things like this. I think that it had more of a central part in the “new math” that was prevalent in our elementary school math experience.
Haham sounds awesome! I’m glad you had a good time.
Clearly, the Karma Police have come for you for misspelling Katee’s name, and made you misspell your *own name* in retribution (‘Whil’). Now everything’s equal again, and the universe can relax.
Wil’s “I’m happy to be here and not completely freaked out by this whole thing” face
It must be great being you!! How totally AWESOME that must have been!! Wow! Just so you know, and speaking for myself,(I’m sure other fans agree), that is how I(we all) feel about you. I am not at all surprised people were yelling for you! Do you know just how popular you are???? I mean a million and something followers….that says a LOT! Sure beats the hell out of my dull weekend…unless you count exams, laundry, dishes fun..:) You deserved this Wil! Glad you had a great time:)
So my family went to Ireland this summer, and one night we turned on the tv to see Seth MacFarlane doing “Singing in the Rain” on BBC Northern Ireland. It was AMAZING, here’s the YouTube:
So totally random that we got to see it. =)Not as awesome as seeing him live but I’ll take what I can get.
Jennifer
I’m really surprised that you’re so unrecognizable with your luxurious beard! I certainly didn’t have any trouble recognizing you, but maybe the circumstances were different in a big party like that.
Lucky? At some point you are going to have to accept that this is part of that Universal Balance.
You now have stardom and not-stardom.
Unlike your “first life,” you are not famous for acting a character, but for being you.
This is some of the joy finding its way into the sorrow-scoured valleys.
Do not fail to enjoy the hell out of these moments – you deserve them.
From the sound of it, surreal only barely begins to describe your experience.
You are one fortunate dude to experience such a weekend.
Did you get your Mac back with working e-mail for the weekend?
Oh, and . . . something, something, something, congratulations.
Hi Wil,
I had a similar experience and feeling as you describe at Seth’s party — when I attended some opening parties in LA for the Griffith a few years ago. Mind you, I’d worked on the project, but I wasn’t prepared for the *scale* of the parties. Or the over-the-top stuff that was presented (can we say Stolichnaya vodka fountains?). Nor the red carpet walk.
All of us who worked on the project were asked to do the red carpet “perp walk” but the press was (of course) only interested in the celebs. It felt weird, funny, fake, and exhilirating all at once… and SO not my usual everyday experience. But, I wouldn’t have passed it up for the world, mostly because of the project and how proud I was of the work we all did to bring it to life.
Still… those experiences have lessons…and supply cool memories. Great entry!
dude …i hate parties but That One sounds cool!
It seems more and more like the internets are providing the stagecraft for your blog-life, Wil. Venn diagrams, photographic accompaniment, back story and set dressing – all provided by – well, I was going to say ‘us’, but by that I would of course have to mean the active, industrious, involved and competent us, and not the lurking, lethargic, my-only-skill-is-left-clicking us like me…
@pojut You’re sitting there thinking about a platter o’ crazy-cold shrimp, and suddenly someone will be like, “shrimp” or “crazy-cold” or “platter” out of the blue. No point looking for an explanation, it’s all part of the cosmic unconsciousness.
@wilw Have you considered treating press photographers like the DMV? I mean, you go in assuming the photos are going to be torture and come out horrible, and just ham it up. *Try* to make it as bad as possible. Make funny faces, glare at them, maybe pick your nose a bit.
What could possibly go wron… oh, hey, look, a TMZ update calling Wil out on his digging for gold. And there’s 27 8×10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each.
Now I am trying to find a recent picture of your luxurious beard. I don’t see how this post is complete without one!
That sounded incredible. I could only dream of hosting a party of that magnitude and awesomeness.
Looking forward to seeing your pics on the tabloids when I go grocery shopping.
“Wil Wheaton joins Cult on top of Mountain!”
Hey there, Wil. I’m a little behind the times, but I’m listening to Memories of the Futurecast. I’m enjoying episode 9 right now while working. (How awesome is that!?! And btw, I can tell already that I’m going to be waiting with baited breath on volume 2.) You’re talking about how as a teen actor you got so much grief about Wes and how it’s nice now to finally hear some good stuff from smart people and all that.
Well, I didn’t start a career because of good ol’ Wes. However, I am approximately the same age as you and it was really cool to see somebody my own age on frickin’ Star Trek! I loved the original series so this was just awesome. I even had a cute geek girl crush on you and sent you fan mail. I assume you got this because I did receive a signed 8×10 glossy of Wes in return. Sadly, I don’t have it anymore. It’s definitely a fun bit of nostalgia and always a fun way to illustrate my geekitude.
Anyway, the point of this long ramble is that not everybody hated you then. And definitely not now. You rule and are indeed not a dick. Go you!
Best. Beard. Ever.
You’ve got some great beard growing skills. Chicks dig guys with great skills, you know.
Just to put it in perspective … if you had a one-porta-potty-party and invited all of us, I bet we’d feel like you felt.
And while I do enjoy all of your writing, the occasional dose of entertainment industry behind-the-scenes is so very fun.
Vicariously yours …
You touched on something there: the "fake-ness" of the whole red carpet, press line thing is just horrible, and that's why I've never liked it.
There was once a time when that sort of attention was an important part of an actor's career (and I guess it still is, for some of them) but as far as I am concerned, I can let my work speak for itself, and anyone who wants to see me or know what I'm up off camera to can come to my blog and find out for themselves.
You'll find a plate of shrimp at every party … you'll see.
Wow, awesome! I’m not a huge fan of Family Guy, but to know that Seth can sing Rat-Pack style is really kinda cool. I’m a fan of the crooners too 😛 lol
That definitely beat out my weekend of working.
I really loved the line ‘I scored your childhood.’ from Ron Jones and your very real reaction to it. Those moments are what make your blog so special to so many people, and like others have stated, you are more famous (infamous?) than you realize 😉
Can’t wait to see Chewbacca Claus lol
Wil, this totally kicks ass and it’s got this very Zen vibe working. You’re a part of the Hollywood scene yet not a part of the Hollywood scene.
You and Phil Plait are the most “non-celebrity” celebrities I’ve ever encountered. Everyone knows who you are but it doesn’t seem to turn you into a total self-centered dick. I also like the way that both of you can turn fan boy as quickly as any of us.
I’ve always liked your work as an actor and now I find out that I like the person behind the work. It takes mad skills to be a part of it but not let any of it get on you.
Good work!
AGAIN with the hogging of the awesome, Wil Wheaton. I believe you have just pushed world-wide levels of awesome to new lows, sir.
A friend of mine was at this party too. She’s kicking herself for not bringing a camera, but thought it was only Family Guy staff going (her husband’s a storyboard artist). I’m gleefully awaiting a pic of her with Chewbacca Claus.
Sounds like a great night – if a little surreal.
The thought I have most often when I see celebrities posing for red carpet press lines is that it looks like something you’d feel dirty for afterwards…
(I’m pretty new to your blog, and I can’t help but notice how wonderfully literate all of these comments are. Total respect.)
First of all, did you know “Just a Geek” has been nominated for the Memoir category of the Book Bloggers’ Top 10?
http://www.literaryescapism.com/book-bloggers-top-10-of-2009-voting-booth
(Cherie Priest linked to this for another book and I looked through the lists to see if I could spot anything else I liked for voting on).
Now to the actual blog reply:
Awesome, especially about meeting the “scorer of your childhood”.
I need to rewatch Dr. Horrible to see if I can spot Simon.
The line “We talked about working on Big Bang Theory and being nerds, and then I had to pee.” cracked me up. 🙂
Definitely something you don’t need to save your A’s for.
It was so lovely to meet the both of you. I’m so glad you guys stayed to hear Luke sing with Seth. The Chewbacca-Claus picture is awesome! Did you ever get any of the (not Whole Foods) butternut squash soup? Is it just me, or is the is the choppiest conglomeration of sentences ever? 😉
Glad you had a good time!
Yeah, we finally got the soup, but we never got to combine it with the grilled cheese. Still, it was fantastic. And Luke and Seth were just wonderful.
Thanks for being so nice to both of us.
OK … this was just awesome to read. I actually teared up a little at hearing how cool everything was. Makes me kinda wish I could rub elbows with the celebrity folk.
Hope to get a DM from ya sometime, Wil. Would love to discuss something (well, discuss it as well as possible in the scope of 140 characters LOL)
Russell (@PrayForAidan)