Check. And. Mate.

On our way home from the grocery store tonight, I said to Anne, "Have you heard of this Tumblr called I'm Remembering?"

"No," she said, "what's that?"

"It's all these images and things from the eighties and early nineties, and it's pretty awesome." In spite of myself, I added with a rather copious amount of enthusiasm, "Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Swatch phone!"

She looked at me, blankly.

"You didn't have a Swatch phone?" I couldn't believe it. I mean, we both grew up in Los Angeles in the 80s. Swatch phones were practically issued at the border when they gave you your smog alert reference sheet.

"Dude, I didn't even have a Swatch."

I nearly crashed the car. "You didn't have a Swatch?!"

"Nope."

Luckily for us and everyone around us, we had stopped at a red light. "How could you not have had a Swatch?!"

"Well, in my defense," she said, "it was hard to get one." She paused for a long moment, looked at me, and added, "since you were wearing them all."

I opened my mouth to retort, but before I could say anything, she concluded: "At the same time."

Check. And. Mate.

The Lexus behind us honked to let me know the light had apparently been green for some time. I slowly pulled through the intersection.

"Well played, Mrs. Wheaton," I said. "Well played."

 

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64 thoughts on “Check. And. Mate.”

  2. I didn’t have a Swatch, either. I didn’t care much about such things, but even if I had, well…my sister was wearing any that you weren’t. At the same time.

  13. Hey, you didn’t have all of them. I had like 10, of course I wore like 4 of them at the same time because you did so that may not help your argument. 😉
    But I remember the Swatch phone! Mine was pink & blue and I had to have it because you spelled out your friends’ names for the speed dial instead of their number. I thought that was so cool. I was such a dork. (still am but that’s beside the point 😉

  15. A friend and I were in a Swatch store a few weeks ago, reliving the 80s. *sigh* Nostalgia mixed with a verbal right hook. You definitely got a keeper!

  19. Anne deffinately gets my Seal of Approval.
    I had to Google what a Swatch is. Being born in ’94, their existence would not be in my memory. But I must say, from the pictures I just saw, they look pretty badass.

  22. The Swatch Phone is an ancient relic, spoken of in whispers in lore now lost to the lands of Men. Only this fragment remains to speak of its dire power and sinister purpose:
    One Phone to rule them all, One Phone to find them
    One Phone to bring them all, and to Wil Wheaton bind them

  23. Sorry Wil you didnt stand a chance. She knew that from the beging of the conversation,that she was going to dominate and seal your doom..LOL Saw your video of the key chains..LOL. Thanks for making me laugh.

  25. Hahahahahahaha! That was perfect. Well played indeed 🙂 I love it when people are quick on the draw like that.
    At my kid’s school yesterday afternoon I said to the (kind of ditzy) office aide: “I’d like to pick up my other child too, can I just sign her out and then go to her classroom?”
    Office assistant: “You want to pick up…your child right?”
    Me: “Yes, unless…are we allowed to trade? I didn’t know we could do that. In that case, I want one that doesn’t whine or argue with me and does their homework with no problems.”
    School nurse: “Oh we don’t have any of those.”

  29. You are just rocking the internets this week. Awesome Anne with the power to induce a stunned silence…
    what color should the cape be…. hmmm…

  33. BAZINGA!
    I didn’t have the phone, but I got a paisley Swatch for Christmas in the 10th grade. I still have it…it is My Precious. I haven’t found replacement batteries for it since the mid 1990’s. I feel like sending it to your wife, on principal 😛

  35. Your school nurse is awesome. She sounds as awesome as our school nurse.
    (What I’ve found helps with the homework is to ease in with something fun connected to the homework. That works for the spelling, and works for the math when there’s math. There isn’t math homework nearly often enough to suit me.)

  36. Oh. Mah. Gawd. If your geektastic teenage years happen to be over-photographed and public, I think the best you can hope for is a partner like the awesomely awesome Mrs. Wheaton. Win!

  41. I never had a Swatch.
    Never had a “Landspeedr”.
    Never had a Honda Prelude that was slightly better than Patrick Stewart’s.
    I haven’t found the perfect woman to spend my life with.
    Some people have all the luck…

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