WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

I am easily amused

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So io9 did this thing called the 10 Suckiest Fake Video Games That People Play In Science Fiction. Spoiler Alert: The Game from, uh, The Game is number one.

1) Suckdisk from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Actually, we don’t remember this game having an actual name on the show, but “suckdisk” feels like a good name for it. The object of the game is to suck a disk into a tentacle with a mouth. That’s it. And it’s not even a game of skill – you win by “letting it happen.” D00d. At least the UI is simple, but basically this episode is a cautionary tale about improved technology – once we have the ability to stimulate the pleasure centers of your brain, you may be ridiculously satisfied with some pretty weak gameplay. Actually, I like this episode, despite the game looking seriously ridiculous.

So when I saw that they decided to call it "Suckdisk", my mind immediately crafted the following scene:

INT WESLEY'S QUARTERS.

Wesley looks down at the game, then up at Robin. 

WESLEY

Um, this isn’t the game I wanted to play.

LEFLER

But you asked me to come to your quarters and play Suckdisk!

WESLEY

Right. I think you misheard me.

Tip your waitress, folks.

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16 August, 2011 Wil

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Get Excited And Make Things Revisited → ← You want to accept Anorak’s Invitation. Trust me.

66 thoughts on “I am easily amused”

  1. D says:
    17 August, 2011 at 10:08 am

    That was priceless! Completely awesome rewrite! Not to mention a perfect phrase for a tshirt. Perhaps another Woot shirt for you, Will? My son has your D20 one and my friend, who will be at PAX later this month, loves the idea of owning a “Want to play Suckdisc? shirt for the occasion.

  2. Angelictigress says:
    17 August, 2011 at 11:34 am

    then i read: Beware EverCrack and WoW
    The only time I could get the guy away from the computer was dressing in negligee.

  3. edr777 says:
    17 August, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Lol…EverCrack! At one of my old jobs there were these two guys in their early 40s that were beyond addicted to that game. We used to call it ‘EverSuck’ and together they became known as “The EverSuck Twins”! 🙂
    A negligee? Yipes…and as a single reformed vidiot who plays video games maybe 2-3 hours a month at most…I can’t even find a date. What is this world coming to? 😛

  4. Angelictigress says:
    17 August, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    EverWack, NeverSleep, NeverBreed… We had tons of nick names for it, one of the reasons why I avoid the current incarnations like the plague.
    Yes negligee… Not one of my brightest picks for a BF… I can’t give good tips on where to hook up other than the nearest ren fest, Where men are men and sheep are scared! For the record I found my current guy by accident while shopping for a new car!

  5. www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawm1qOTf_Wv8QFCeLvWhxCgBh5RoTv_o5wQ says:
    17 August, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    This is one of the episodes that has been stuck in my memory since it aired. It’s also the one where I thought you were so lucky to kiss Ashley Judd. Just look at what might have been. If you two had married, you would have won the Indy 500!
    Rewrite = XD

  6. edr777 says:
    17 August, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Hmm…I’m not sure about the Ren Fest/Faire…some friends dragged me to a few of them some years back…but I seem to recall having trouble keeping my eyes from doing a vertical Picard Maneuver at the many women I met there. ^_^
    Well so far this year I’ve lost 50 pounds and am looking very trim and feel better than I have in years – so I figure if none of the women around here take notice then to hell with them. Not that I’m bitter or anything. 😛

  7. Veronica Robinson says:
    17 August, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Awesome. Even I, who has no interest in women in that manner, would play that game with her because Robin was freakin’ hot. Either me or my husband, but if it’s him he has to record it for me to watch later because Robin was freakin’ HOT. TMI? Don’t care. Robin was FREAKIN’ HOT.

  8. Mac McGill says:
    17 August, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    This, and other tips for seduction will be in Will’s newest release on Lulu, co-written with The Mystery. Title to be announced.

  9. Mac McGill says:
    17 August, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Forsooth, Robin was freakin’ hot.

  10. Hrrl Furri says:
    17 August, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    That’s funny on so many levels.
    Get it? Levels?
    …oh somebody’s already done that one?
    …and don’t be a disk too!?

  11. Medbob says:
    17 August, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    So, have you seen Ashley Judd since?

  12. Roberta Hill says:
    18 August, 2011 at 4:43 am

    Awesome name for the game, no doubt! Kind of a visual onomatopoeia. And your version of the scene…I can see it, in a Wesley-Crusher’s-Evil-Twin sort of way. Now wouldn’t that have been a great episode?!

  13. simpleton says:
    18 August, 2011 at 10:46 am

    goodfunny

  14. Sumo says:
    19 August, 2011 at 8:16 am

    Nicely played, sir.
    It has been years since I’ve seen that episode, but I remember it fondly. I had almost forgotten the horrible game; I remember thinking it was the most terrible excuse for a mind sucking video game ever created and I could not believe anyone would even try it. Definitely a future Zynga product (spoken from one who has wasted his fare share of hours on crap FB games). What I remember most about the episode (besides Ashley Judd) was thinking, “Wow, they finally did a great Wesley story.”

  15. BrentMc says:
    21 August, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    ROFLMAO ! As one of a legion of guys who wish they had a shot with Robin I loved your new scene.
    I have heard the Ashley Judd won’t sign Star Trek photo’s. I hope it’s not true I would love a signed Robin photo.

  16. Jen Schoenbein says:
    22 August, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    At the risk of sounding like a cheesy fan, this was seriously my FAV episode of The Next Generation. I had a HUGE crush on you. I was, like, 5 years younger and I loved that you and Ashley Judd got an episode all to yourselves. Lovely.
    And funny.
    So great that you posted about it.

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