WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

life imitates art (or: I don’t know much about brain scans, but I’ll help you fix your computer.)

  • Web/Tech

Earlier today, I got an email from a Star Trek TNG cast member who will remain nameless. I've chosen the pseudonym Jonathan Frakes for the purposes of this post.

"Jonathan Frakes's" email had been compromised, and I'd gotten one of the things it sent out, so I pinged him and offered to help him fix it, if he needed assistance. "It turns out I still have a little Wesley Crusher in me," I typed. Then I thought for a moment and added, "…eww. That doesn't sound right at all."

I walked him through scanning and removing spyware and malware, mostly via text messages… which was hilarious to me, because my text message alert tone is the original Star Trek communicator sound.

It all ran smoothly, but "Frakes" was concerned about his CPU maxing out. "It's using all the power," he typed to me. Then, and I swear to whatever god you believe in that this is true, he followed that up with: "I'm givin it all I can, Captain!"

I typed back, "Okay. Run a level five diagnostic and emit an inverse neutrino pulse through the main navigational deflector."

A moment later "Jonathan Frakes" replied, "All done! It worked. Thanks for your help."

"Any time," I replied. Then I collapsed into a fit of giggles.

This was funny to me, because we're two Star Trek guys (with magnificent beards), making contextually-relevant Star Trek jokes with each other. More significantly, though, is that we did this using handheld computers which were inspired by the show we were on twenty-five years ago.

Finally, in a nice, poetic bit of closing the circle: twenty-five years ago, I helped Patrick Stewart set up his first Mac II computer. It was an incredible technological marvel, that blew me away… and it didn't have a fraction of the computing power or memory of my four-and-half ounce smart phone.

I love living in the future.

  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Bluesky (Opens in new window) Bluesky
  • More
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related


Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

12 March, 2012 Wil

Post navigation

Things every person should have → ← I can’t be at Wondercon on Friday, so my panel is cancelled.

74 thoughts on “life imitates art (or: I don’t know much about brain scans, but I’ll help you fix your computer.)”

  1. Jenny S. says:
    13 March, 2012 at 8:03 am

    Annnd I have now replaced “awesome” with “wizard” in all future exclamations. Thank you.

  2. Wayne Zombie says:
    13 March, 2012 at 8:05 am

    The technique is known as doing a ROT-13, twice. All posts on Slashdot use this technique.

  3. MarkSchneider says:
    13 March, 2012 at 8:09 am

    Oh, and a gift with technology as well, both imagined and real. 🙂

  4. Shayde says:
    13 March, 2012 at 8:14 am

    It’s not just life imitating art, but life imitating AWESOME art.

  5. Jody says:
    13 March, 2012 at 8:16 am

    You have convinced me to download the Communicator app.
    I realized the other day that when my youngest daughter (Happy Birthday on Pi Day, Gillian!) turns 21, it will be the year 2032. Which is not even The Future anymore, but the future where it’s been the future for so long that it’s just the present, and wasn’t it cute that her parents were so excited about an 8×10 piece of plastic that required hands for its operation.

  6. Zak Robinson says:
    13 March, 2012 at 8:43 am

    I bet it was Brent Spiner — though with a pseudonym that good, we can’t really be sure. Heck, we can’t even rule out Jonathan Frakes!

  7. EclecticMamma says:
    13 March, 2012 at 10:20 am

    I have been wanting something like that for years! Seriously, it shouldn’t be too difficult…. I even have a comm badge pin I could use as a starting point! :-p

  8. Mstefski says:
    13 March, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    You’ve probably heard this so many times, but we have the same ringtone! I definitely squeed when I found out! 🙂

  9. Ceinwenn says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    I just read this to my OH (while laughing myself) & when I got to “which was hilarious to me, because my text message alert tone is the original Star Trek communicator sound.” – he stopped me & said “I want that! We need to find it!”

  10. Ceinwenn says:
    13 March, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Woo hoo, found the tone, my geek is a happy boy! http://www.freeringtonesfyi.com/ringtones/star-trek/star-trek-communicator.mp3

  11. BRBCurry says:
    13 March, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    Unfortunately, since I have the Motorola R2D2 Droid, I feel compelled to use the R2 sounds for my text alerts. But I do have the communicator and tricorder apps, and the PADD app on my iPad.

  12. FABIAN says:
    13 March, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Wil,
    Your help seems to be better than teck support. My computer is now running better.
    Thanks
    FG

  13. Pol Robinson says:
    14 March, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Wow, that’s almost too meta for me!
    Wait, I thought we just had to reverse the polarities? Must be using an outdated manual.
    Only one problem living here in the future…I want my flying car!

  14. IamnotWTRiker says:
    14 March, 2012 at 6:12 am

    Nothing clever to add– just thought you should know you aren’t the only one to have ‘a fit of giggles’.

  15. Chris Bird says:
    14 March, 2012 at 7:41 am

    This post rings true for me, because I’m constantly amazed at how fast our technology advances. I happened across your blog from the Bloggess and I really like it. I had no idea that you were even a blogger, so yay for me I guess. I’m amazed at how before September, I had never read a blog, but since I’ve started my own, I’m finding amazing, new blogs every week.
    You can check mine out at changethetopic.com , but beware, there is often foul language and potty humour.

  16. Doc Nielsen says:
    14 March, 2012 at 8:35 am

    “I love living in the future”
    I have yet to find a proper hoverboard manufacturer.

  17. Michael Vezie says:
    14 March, 2012 at 9:13 am

    TNG cast member… magnificent beards… oh! LeVar Burton!
    Did you know the pseudonym you gave sounds like another cast member?

  18. T moo says:
    14 March, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    If only you had access to the analytics data for Star Trek sound downloads, you could see the collective geek-out you inspired. 🙂

  19. Leslie Hartman Jr says:
    15 March, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    This…. THIS is AMAZING! Thanks for this, Wil. So, so, SO glad I subscribe to your feed!

  20. Franziska Kast says:
    16 March, 2012 at 5:50 am

    Wil,
    I just laughed so hard I almost cried. But can you imagine how much I envy you for being able to write “I helped Patrick Stewart set up his first Mac II computer”? I always wanted one of these Think Geek shirts saying “No, I won’t fix your computer”, but it would be so much more fun to create a shirt saying “No, I won’t fix your computer. Unless you’re Patrick Stewart.” And be able to wear it because you actually DID help Patrick Stewart fix his computer…

  21. Nick Gosey says:
    17 March, 2012 at 9:12 am

    This post has made me exceedingly happy! I love everything about it!
    In other news: I, too, have a Star Trek communicator sound for my text messages, but it is TNG era. I’ve also got various computer beeps from TNG for other notifications. The problem with this is that I have recently been watching DS9 on Netflix and when they are in a runabout I often mistake the sounds on the show for my phone. 🙂

  22. A Facebook User says:
    17 March, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    This article is a mix of Awesome and Win. You just can’t make this stuff up. ^_^

  23. Erin Fesi-Daniluk says:
    17 March, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I totally loved this and I laughed and cried.
    This is coming from the girl whose father has named all of the hard drives for his computer after Star Trek ships and alien races. I grew up on this stuff and it never gets old to me.

  24. Kate George says:
    19 March, 2012 at 7:47 am

    This post was made even cooler by the fact that I watched TNG pilot with my kids this weekend. *They love TBBT and we got talking about TNG so I ordered it from Netflix. Far campier than I remember and we had a lot of fun.
    If you are ever in the mood to send out random text messages my fourteen year old twin boys would become Gods in our little backwater school if they had a text from you. Just sayin’.
    *I also love TBBT, TNG and computers of all kinds, but for the sake of my career I have to pretend I am not a total geek in love with all things geeky.

Comment navigation

← Older Comments

Comments are closed.

Related Posts

having exhausted my ability to solve a simple problem, i turn to the internet for assistance. help me, mysterious internet; you’re my only hope.

this post is an ask for technical support. Just a basic, straightforward, "Hey, Internet, can someone help me out here?" And before you ask, yes, I have turned it off and back on again.

nothing but bluesky is such a predictable title for this post

I am still on a break from public life, but I understand some number of people were concerned that someone was building a foundation to impersonate me, and I wanted to verify that those accounts are, indeed, mine. There is no need to report them. But thank you for looking out for me.

children are not property. they are people.

Children deserve to be children. Children are not the property of their parents who can use and exploit them for their own gain. They are CHILDREN and they will spend the rest of their lives hurting because you stole that from them. Ask me how I know.

buy the ticket, take your turn

It's another one of those round up posts, like in the Before Times!

Recent Posts

behind his eyes he says ‘i still exist’

behind his eyes he says ‘i still exist’

This thing has been happening to me since I built my first blog about 25 years ago, and you’d think that by now it would have stopped, but here we […]

More Info
hey it’s me on the katee sackhoff podcast!

hey it’s me on the katee sackhoff podcast!

I recorded this episode of the Katee Sackhoff Podcast a couple of weeks ago. It’s when I realized I needed to spend some money on a camera and some lights, […]

More Info
it’s storytime with wil wheaton episode 7 – end of play by chelsea sutton

it’s storytime with wil wheaton episode 7 – end of play by chelsea sutton

Well, here we are in Spain. I feel like I am just getting started, and I wish I had more new episodes yet to come, but we have come to […]

More Info
it’s storytime with wil wheaton episode 6 – if we make it through this alive by a.t. greenblatt

it’s storytime with wil wheaton episode 6 – if we make it through this alive by a.t. greenblatt

Happy Wednesday, friends! I'm here to remind you that there's a new episode of It's Storytime with Wil Wheaton, waiting for you wherever you get your podcasts.

More Info

 

  • Instagram
  • Facebook

Member of The Internet Defense League

Creative Commons License
WIL WHEATON dot NET by Wil Wheaton is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://wilwheaton.net.

Search my blog

Powered by WordPress | theme SG Double
%d