It’s another one of those round up posts, like in the Before Times! Also, my silly choice to do that outrageous 90s theme (I bet you are all going to miss the dancing baby) has served its purpose, and now we are back to something a bit more readable.
Let’s get started with this thing from my Facebook:
So the phrase “you have too much time on your hands” came across my event horizon, as a response to a silly thing I did to amuse myself. I’ve heard this for my entire life, and every few years, I write a post like this about it. This is a slightly edited version of my response.
I doubt very much you mean to be hurtful when you say this. It’s just a silly thing you say, like “tell us how you really feel”. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a little joke.
About that. This is one of the most insulting, degrading, things a creative person can hear. We have all kinds of fun making something, and we put it into the world, and “you have too much time on your hands” devalues our creative experience. It’s another way of saying “don’t you have anything better to do?” Actually, dad, I don’t. This is exactly what I wanted to do with my time and energy.
I had exactly the right amount of time to make whatever the thing is. I choose to invest my time in doing something amusing, or silly, or whatever. “You have too much time” implies that this was a waste of the time I have, time that should have been spent doing something else, rather than the thing I chose to make, because it made me feel good to do that.
I am so confident that most people who say this don’t mean to be hurtful, and if you’re one of them, I hope you’ll hear me, as a creative person who has been dismissed like that his whole life, when I tell you how hurtful and insulting these words are. Don’t take my word for it, listen to all the other creative people who will reply to this, if they choose to share their experiences.
I’m not calling you out. I’m not putting you on blast, and I’ll ban anyone who brigades or attacks you. I’m just taking this moment to share this for you and anyone else who doesn’t want to be hurtful in the future. A teaching moment.
We don’t have too much time. In fact, nearly every creative person you ever talk to will tell you that we don’t have enough time. Please don’t dismiss us or the stuff we make.
Thanks for listening 🙂
NB: Facebook is bad for civilization. There is a future coming where someone researches and produces data which will show how absolutely destructive the whole damn thing is. There is a future where social media as it exists today is looked at the way my generation looks at DDT. We cannot believe it was ever a Thing, and the people who were poisoning us knew it all along. Facebook and Twitchan are a catastrophe for democracy and marginalized people. I can’t wait for the day to arrive when all of social media is regulated like tobacco and alcohol, and gets broken up into some parts that are less predatory and dangerous.
I just want to amplify my dear friend who is not here for anyone’s bullshit:
Okay. Let’s step out of that place and into something more fun!
I’ve wanted to round up some of the TV I’ve been watching:
Holy shit The Last Of Us is perfect. Flawless. Worth the entire subscription.
Netflix’s 1899 went from “interesting, compelling” to “steampunk LOST” so fast I gave up halfway through. The era of “weird for the sake of being weird, style over substance, vague hints of story instead of real character development, and we’ll sort of loosely wrap it up eventually” cannot end fast enough. Honestly, it should have died with Charlie. RIP Charlie.
Conversely, I had to force myself to not binge Wednesday, Brand New Cherry Flavor, The English, The Recruit, and Sandman. Highly recommend all of them.
This morning, I read a horrifying story of AI being used to determine child welfare cases in Pennsylvania.
The Justice Department has been scrutinizing a controversial artificial intelligence tool used by a Pittsburgh-area child protective services agency following concerns that it could result in discrimination against families with disabilities, The Associated Press has learned.
The interest from federal civil rights attorneys comes after an AP investigation revealed potential bias and transparency issues about the opaque algorithm that is designed to assess a family’s risk level when they are reported for child welfare concerns in Allegheny County.
[…]
Algorithms use pools of information to turn data points into predictions, whether that’s for online shopping, identifying crime hot spots or hiring workers. Many child welfare agencies in the U.S. are considering adopting such tools as part of their work with children and families.
Though there’s been widespread debate over the moral consequences of using artificial intelligence in child protective services, the Justice Department’s interest in the pioneering Allegheny algorithm marks a significant turn toward possible legal implications.
Supporters see algorithms as a promising way to make a strained child protective services system both more thorough and efficient, saying child welfare officials should use all tools at their disposal to make sure children aren’t maltreated. But critics worry that including data points collected largely from people who are poor can automate discrimination against families based on race, income, disabilities or other external characteristics.
(bolding is mine)
This was timely, as I just watched this short from Aperture about Algorithms a couple days ago.
tl;dr: algorithms are inherently racist, classist, and not at all neutral because the data used to train them is largely drawn from a system that has elevated the opportunities and privileges of CIS white men. It’s appalling.
Let’s stay at YouTube for a minute, because I said this was going to be fun.
I didn’t know about The Electric State until I saw this video. I bought it, and Tales from the Loop, immediately. If you like the things I like, I know you will be entranced by this video and the book that it talks about.
It’s going to be a movie? I just saw that when I looked for a link to the publisher’s page. Hmm. I hope they do it justice. I hear they missed the mark with Tales from the Loop, but I haven’t watched it yet so take that with a grain of highly radioactive 236 U.
We are so lucky to be on this planet at the same time as John Green.
Also, I noticed a Still Just A Geek coffee mug in the background of one of Hank Green’s videos and I’m not gonna lie: I squeed with extreme delight.
One last YouTube mention. I can’t get enough of CGPGrey. I don’t know anything about them, except that their brain is amazing.
This video is about choosing a theme for yourself, like “my theme for this month is reading.” or “my theme for this month is mindfulness.” The idea is to help us build on little successes that fit into a broad theme, rather than setting a single goal and feeling like a failure if we don’t complete it to our liking.
My theme since I turned 50 has been self care and gratitude. I’m spending all kinds of time working on healing my cptsd and trauma, and I’m showing up for myself every day to support that. I’m making a choice to work on specific things in therapy (EMDR has changed my life), and then do the hard work in between sessions to build on the insights I’ve gotten from my therapist.
I felt this fundamental shift beneath my feet last week. This HUGE thing changed in me. It’s so big, I can’t see all of it, you know? Like, I can just see this small part of it that I let go of, and until I get farther away from it, I won’t know what all of it is. I feel so good, so unburdened, that I have spent substantial time being suspicious of it. I legit wondered if I was manic, but after talking with my therapist, I’m pretty sure what I’m feeling is the lack of generalized anxiety that has defined my life for so long I didn’t realize it was there. “This is water,” as they say.
If you only take one thing away from this post: work on your shit. It’s worth it. YOU are worth it. And I’m going to tell you something that’s going to be upsetting: all your friends know you are lying to yourself, and to them, about your mental health. We can’t do anything to support and help you until you choose to be honest and do that incredibly hard work that is so terrifying.
In the land of music, I can’t believe how much I like Miley Cyrus’ new song, Flowers. I love her smoky voice and “fuck you I’m fabulous” attitude.
If you love 90s ambient like I do, I have a happy place for you to visit.
I’ve been listening to Alkaline Trio, Taking Back Sunday, Get Up Kids, Ataris, and all that fabulous early 2000s stuff we all associate with Warped Tour. Yes, I made a playlist at Spotify.
Speaking of, I had no idea that Spotify used so much shitty compression, until my son pointed it out to me with a side by side comparison to Apple Music. The difference between the two is astounding. Real quick: I hate Apple. Their UI is the worst. Their design is stupid and non-intuitive. Oh, how I hate iTunes. And Apple’s refusal to use open standards in messaging can get fucked.
But Apple Music is remarkable (The Linux client, cider, is amazing). The lossless sound is so much better than the over compressed shit Spotify squirts into my ears, and I had no idea until I put them side by side. Spotify is like putting a wet paper sack over your speakers, by comparison. Once you hear the difference, it’s real hard to go back.
Too bad Spotify didn’t invest in sound quality like they did in centering and spotlighting a conspiracy theorist. This is the year I let my membership expire.
Okay, last thing: I searched high and low for a really solid RSS reader that wasn’t full of crap. I eventually settled on Fluent Reader. You can grab the Appimage here, if you’re a Linux user like me.
Oh look the morning is behind me and now I’m late for work. Which will happen in a virtual desktop two clicks over, where I’m writing a brand new thing.
I’m so glad you’ve discovered CGP Grey! I’ve loved his videos for years, and his Hello Internet Podcast is one of my favorite things on earth. (Inactive now, to my great sadness)
Same here. I still am waiting for new episodes of Hello Internet. Unless iTunes has just decided to not update it randomly…
I can’t read the red on black cursive font. Maybe I need to wear my glasses. I think this is a me problem.
Social media — and all not-in-person media and communication — is going to die as artificial intelligence matures. You won’t be able to trust it isn’t a synthetic thing manipulating you. Enjoy this short period of a small world while you can even though it can be shitty at times.
I canceled HBO because of how they are canceling art to get tax breaks. I’m considering resubscribing for The Last of Us.
I consider Lost to be a vaccine. I watched to the end instead of stopping at the four toes statue. I still fee betrayed but at least I stop shows now when they go Lost.
My therapist told me today I have signs of ptsd. I’ve made progress over the past year.
I don’t know why I cheered so hard at LeVar Burton saying “FUCK OFF”
The Tales from the Loop RPG is fantastic, you’re going to love it so much. It’s really a different feel from D&D but I love the dynamics it creates, with a bunch of 80’s kids in an alternate-universe Sweden helping each other out through crazy adventures.
The TV series on Amazon Prime was actually pretty good. It wasn’t quite the same as the book or the RPG, but it was still fun to watch. They moved the setting from Sweden to the US, but it still works.
I really really hate bringing any sort of negativity to this website, as it’s part of my safe space and – I imagine – of others as well. I am a huge fan of Cider as well and have yet to find an alternative that isn’t problematic, but I do need to amplify the findings of a Reddit user that blew the whistle on the toxic subculture that seems to thrive on the application’s community Discord server. I don’t know if I can just add a link to my post, so instead I’ll link it as ‘my website’. If you click my name, it should take you to the post in question.
To end on a more positive note: I loved the roleplaying game they made of Tales from the Loop! It was quite fun to play a little bratty girl, exploring a wonderous version of a world stuck in the 80s.
Ugh. Devs aren’t responsible for this any more than the Star Wars actors are responsible for their toxic fans, but it’s always a disappointment. I’ll avoid the community.
‘Creative person’. I mean I think I’m a pretty creative person, as in what I do with my life requires creativity. I’m not like, special, like an actor or a writer, but I have to think on my feet, sometimes in front of teenagers, and they can be brutal. And if one of them told me ‘you have too much time on my hands’ I’d laugh. And if it hurt at all, I’d think for a minute about whether or not they were right.
Well good for you, Jim. Being dismissive to a person who shares how hurtful it feels to be dismissed is a real great look, pal.
So much of my life becomes 100000x better when I prioritized working on my mental health as being worthy of my time and a great place to spend my energy. I fully credit EMDR and my therapist for guiding me through the hard stuff and cultivating a life I love. Thank you for amplifing this and for creating joy in the world.
Spotify is absolute crap for quality, but their interface, speed and library is second to none. I can put up with a lower quality for ease of use any day. Haven’t touched itunes in years, but the flashback horrors and wasted hours of trying to get it to work as a teenager when I got my first ipod swore me off of Apple products forever.
I’ll use Spotify for 98% of my music consumption, but I still keep lossless files of my all time favorite albums on a hard drive I can load up whenever I get a craving for one for them. Though I have been thinking of trying out Apple music or Tidal.
“Tales From the Loop” is wonderful.
It proceeds at its own pace, tells its story by giving the viewer a different aspect in each episode. It’s not handed to you on a platter, unlike most narrative series. You have to stand back, think about it, and see how they all fit together.
It’s not a puzzle, it’s a mosaic.
And along with that, what I find deeply appealing is the tone of the series, in which this often large-scale, enigmatic, rusting technology is simply commonplace, part of the landscape. There’s very little “gee whiz!” or technobabble with any of this.
It’s a travesty that it was not given a second season–there was so much tapestry here left to weave.
(Episode 7, “Enemies,” will make you cry.)
If somebody isn’t doing what makes them happy, creating what they want to bring into the world, they’re the one wasting their time. Life is short. Creativity is a gift to everyone you share it with.
…And Amnesty International considers FaceBook (and Google) an “unprecedented danger to human rights.” So you’re not wrong there either. https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/press-release/2019/11/google-facebook-surveillance-privacy/
I enjoyed Tales from the Loop on Prime. I came to it knowing nothing at all – kind of my M.O. these days on new things. I’ve become canon-averse, or something. Fandom hesitancy perhaps. I’ve noticed that it has a tendency to make it harder to just… enjoy a thing. The option to go back for the deeper dive is always there. I’m preferring an easier, open-minded ‘yeah show me’ attitude, rather than arms-folded front-row ‘try to impress me’ attitude. It is also entirely possible that I’ve just become too lazy to exercise discernment in my entertainment choices. That also tracks.
About the line “tell us how you really feel”: also hurtful, disrespectful, dismissive, and not a joke at all. It’s used to make sure someone who’s been hurt and is saying “ouch” will NEVER EVER AGAIN tell you that they’ve been hurt. Or someone who’s realized that they’ve been mistreated, abused, etc., will NEVER EVER AGAIN trust you with their vulnerability.
I’ve heard it too many times in my life. It’s a nice clear red flag.
I remember years ago when I first came across you saying that “you have too much time on your hands” was hurtful. And suddenly, it all made sense. Why it bothered me so much. And if I remember correctly, you challenged assumptions in that blog. Something like: “what’d you do today, pal? Watch another rerun?” Meaning we all have the same amount of time. We just choose to spend it differently. And, in my humble opinion as another creator, making something is more worthwhile than consuming something. Both are fine, of course, and needed in moderation, but no one else tells someone who watched two hours of TV that they have too much time on their hands. They only say that when someone has made something. Maybe that something isn’t their cup of tea, but you know what? It still took effort and time to make and frankly courage to put it out there where others can see it. So, yeah. Please don’t say that, folks. It’s mean. And for those of you to whom it is said, remember: you made a thing. They made a comment.
You probably saw it, but I did see further down that the “time on your hands” was supposed to be some sort of timer pun joke, but it realllly fell flat, and then the response to you was also snarky, so your point stands.
Yes. Miley Cyrus is the best, and Holy SHIT the Last of Us is phenomenal.
It’s weird (thoughtless? ignorant? privileged?) how we can adopt words and phrases without realising they can be hurtful. We hear them, mimic them, and they become a habit. I hadn’t considered that “lame” was an able-ist term until Wil pointed it out in Still Just a Geek.
Heh, I didn’t know LeVar Burton might ever cuss, even with the *, even when called for😸
Side note: Mr. LeVar Burton is the only actor my pre-schooler knows (thanks to old Reading Rainbows), her other media exposure being all cartoons or puppets 😆
Hey! I’m new to your blog. Loving the thoughtfulness. Quick question. I was going through your show recommendations. Read the description for “Brand New Cherry Flavor” and thought “oooh I’ll try that”. Then 20 seconds in saw the disclaimer for animal harm and noped the f-out.
How do you get past that to the meat of a show and continue? I’d like to give it a shot but honestly makes my stomach lurch thinking I might not be fast enough on the fast forward.
Apologies guess it wasn’t so quick.
I had the exact same response, and I held my breath when the show opened on the cat. I’ve only seen the first episode, but the cat was okay and no other animals were harmed. Someone else suggested looking at doesthedogdie.com, to be sure.
Thanks! I will.
Wil…..so happy for the joy I hear in your voice. It’s wonderful. Take care of you.
Hi Wil. I just want to say I really appreciate what you’re sharing and that you’re sharing more.
This post with: “ If you only take one thing away from this post: work on your shit. It’s worth it.” really hits it. People ask me how I am, and often all I answer is I’m slowly working on myself, and most people don’t have much to say
And the post that talks about the healer and being in the now. Of course not a new message, but was timely 🙂 Maybe not intended but I’m not thinking about The Healer as a possible inner role to work alongside The Critic (who is certainly ever-present).
Thank you for sharing this. I admit I’ve said that before – only to be playful, never hurtful – and I never really considered what that meant or how it might make one feel. I appreciate your take on this.
As far as child welfare agencies – I think AI might be more compassionate and work off less bias.
By the way, I wrote you a letter when I was 13 and you sent me back a form letter with an autographed head shot. It was more than I ever got from River Phoenix or Corey Feldman and I’ve loved you ever since!