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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

This is a real thing that you can own

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About a year ago, I dared my friend Joel to imagine what it would be like if he designed a little plushie Wil Wheaton, and this happened:

image from hijinksensue.com

After we stopped laughing about it, and enjoying how oh-so-clever we were, we started thinking about actually making it a real thing that someone could own, mostly because the idea of letting my dog murderize one was really funny to me. Then Joel pointed out that if we made it, we could give little Wil some minature dice, and someone would probably make a little clown sweater for him to wear… 

I know, right? This was long before we even thought about dressing him up as Sparks McGee!

It took a long time and a lot of work, but it's finally happening. Little Plushie Wil Wheaton looks like this:

Wil-wheaton-plushie-detail-700-2

Which came first? The Internet or Wil Wheaton? No one knows for sure, but rest assured top men are working on the answer. TOP. MEN. Since the actual Wil Wheaton lives inside the Internet, you can't actually possess him. OR CAN YOU!? You can't, but you can own your very own soft, diminutive effigy of Wil that may or may not be a horcrux containing a tiny piece of his soul. I'm just saying, give your Li'l Wil a hug and I bet somewhere in California the real one lets out an audible sigh of contentment. Set it on fire and… well, you paid your money. Do what you want.

You can pre-order one of these little guys right now. Seriously, get together twenty of your internet space bucks, and go to the Hijinks Ensue store, for great justice.

Because Pinchy would have wanted it that way.

Wheaton Prime with Plushie Wheaton

Seriously. How cute is this?
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12 June, 2012 Wil

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Mental Floss really likes Tabletop, and I talk to Nerdist about Second Watch → ← Kings win the Stanley. Freaking. Cup.

58 thoughts on “This is a real thing that you can own”

  1. Rick Zeman says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Shouldn’t Lil Wil have a “Don’t be a dick” shirt on? That’d be worth mega-bux!

  2. Jim Seymour says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    “Suck my fat one”? Who ever told the plushie it had a fat one?

  3. William Snedden says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Soon to spawn a cottage industry of tiny, yet clever t-shirts and miniature clown sweaters…

  4. A Facebook User says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    It’s so…creepy. Yet, I still want one >.<

  5. Angie Mansfield says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    It definitely needs a clown sweater.

  6. Wil says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    Oh I hope I hope I hope I hope!

  7. Rob Ross says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    It’s like a Jobu doll for Nerds.

  8. Goblynn.wordpress.com says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    But if I sleep with it, will Anne come to hurt me?

  9. Alexandrea Ybarra says:
    12 June, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    I would totally get one so my bunneh could hump it.

  10. Krewell says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Need to add phrase: “I AM IN YOUR HOUSE”

  11. mimi~ says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    I don’t think so. It probably has a web cam or something and speakers so it can spy on me. No way am I letting that thing in my house. So it can terrorize the cat? Watch me while I sleep? Steal food from the cupboards? Who left that dice on the floor?
    Nice try, Wheaton. (Fry squint)

  12. Http://morgandrake.blogspot.com/ A Facebook User Morganeckstein says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    Hmmm, cat toy or poppet–that be the question.

  13. Sherry Bennett says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    Oh, how freakin’ funny it would be if one of these showed up in Lucille. (Hardison’s van) (Especially if it had pins stuck in it!!!)

  14. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1234913509 says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    I see you and Lil’ Wil share the same shit-eatin’ grin! Now I know what I want for my birthday!

  15. Robinbridges says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    “…and there’s a creepy doll, that always follows you…”

  16. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1234913509 says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    I know a couple of kniters who could help you out with the tiny clown sweaters.

  17. Madamewong.wordpress.com says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    I would pay good money for a picture of @Wilw collating a group of Lil’ Wils… Can one collate plushies? Only one way to find out.

  18. RandiLovett says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    Here’s to hoping my Arbitrary Day Secret Santa does his/her homework!

  19. knobody says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    will it cure my son’s fear of dogs? does it glow in the dark? will there be peace on earth? can it bring back firefly? what’s that smell? oh crap! something’s burning!

  20. Marianne Huro says:
    12 June, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    I’m absolutely certain I need this…in a non-creepy way, of course.

  21. Wil says:
    12 June, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    As long as you have no follow-up questions, yes.

  22. Sa_chan_ says:
    12 June, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Will you have the prototype Li’l Wil with you at Polaris? Because I may have something for him that would amuse 12-year-old you. (Not as awesome as a shirt or sweater, but still…)

  23. Jesse Bray says:
    12 June, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    He needs a side kick, lil Wil and his talking (insert lovable idiot tag-along). Then lunch boxes and trading cards.:)

  24. Azgaard71 says:
    12 June, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    I want one that says “This is bullshit!” when you squeeze it. 🙂

  25. Wil says:
    12 June, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    Almost certainly.

  26. Kim Henry says:
    12 June, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    THIS needs to be the new doll in the USPS commercials instead of the evil clown. The one where it mysteriously moves closer to the family- yeah, that’s the one. Mini-Wil would be perfect.

  27. Sa_chan_ says:
    12 June, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Excellent~ Then I will have geeky things to give you. 🙂

  28. Angie Willerton says:
    12 June, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Totally needs a voice box that when squeezed said “Don’t be a Dick!”…. and I think I may have to make a mini fedora!

  29. edr777 says:
    12 June, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    What kind of beer do we feed him?

  30. Mazzmatazz says:
    12 June, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    *Volunteers*
    Yes, Wil, the Doctor Who BBC Copywrite Rebel will make you one. What are the dimensions?

  31. Eric Frendo-Cumbo says:
    12 June, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Yeah you know it’s awesome when you can have a plushie of yourself cause I know I’ll never see one of myself unless somebody is really looking to do that lol

  32. Boxer_ferret says:
    12 June, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    Also doubles as a Commander Riker doll.

  33. Wil says:
    12 June, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Homebrew. If that isn't available, any craftbrew IPA will do.

  34. Moony says:
    12 June, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    Not as cute as the real thing! 😀

  35. beth9133 says:
    12 June, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    As long as he doesn’t fake pee when I let him drink beer, close his eyes when I put him to bed, or stare at me while I sleep (yeah, i know I just contradicted myself), put me down for one!

  36. Jesse Bray says:
    12 June, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    holy crap lil Wil kinda looks like Norm Abram from Yankee Workshop
    http://www.newyankee.com/index.php?id=48

  37. Mike Cherniske says:
    12 June, 2012 at 9:15 pm

    Ok, I definitely want one…. But chances are it will be chewed on by my 6 month old at some point. Any chance it can double as a Baby chew toy without suffering any long term damage (to either the doll or your pride)?

  38. Wrenaria says:
    12 June, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Ohhh Wil…. Clearly you’ll need a Fawkes outfit for him so you and Felicia can have Guild themed play time with your plushies of yourselves.

  39. Wrenaria says:
    12 June, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Haha, I had this same thought cross my mind.

  40. Ckeithray says:
    12 June, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    My wife says I can’t buy a plushie Wil Wheaton, but she bought a Misha Collins blanket, so… actually a Felicia Day… um. Hmm. That might not fly, either. ≤ checks prices for ST action figures ≥

  41. Endimi says:
    13 June, 2012 at 12:06 am

    But more importantly: do you ship to Europe?

  42. karriePGH says:
    13 June, 2012 at 4:06 am

    And a suit coat and tie, with a complimentary fez.

  43. karriePGH says:
    13 June, 2012 at 4:07 am

    I love this idea so much. And that show.

  44. karriePGH says:
    13 June, 2012 at 4:12 am

    This entry and comments are just too wonderful with morning coffee.

  45. David Joslyn says:
    13 June, 2012 at 5:11 am

    “Do you wanna date my avatar…”  I agree, Lil’Wil needs a Fawkes outfit so Wil & Felicia, when she gets her own plushie, can play together.  (Anne willing, of course!)
    Big question: What will be there given what one doesn’t wear beneath the kilt?

  46. Slord says:
    13 June, 2012 at 6:29 am

    I just checked the NHL store website. Sadly, there are no doll-sized Kings jerseys for Little Wil to wear.

  47. Xaeyr says:
    13 June, 2012 at 6:31 am

    Lil Wil really should be a guest player on Tabletop 🙂

  48. Amylynn98.blogspot.com says:
    13 June, 2012 at 8:15 am

    I’m not going to buy one, because I have too much stuff sitting around my house as it is, but…that’s terribly funny. If you give one to you dog, PLEASE post a video online of the mayhem that might ensue.

  49. MarkSchneider says:
    13 June, 2012 at 11:45 am

    HowCool has a “Tiny Fez” but it is discontinued.
    Too bad, as it looks to be the perfect size.

  50. antifuse says:
    13 June, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Hrmm. Wil – I’m not sure if it’s specific to Joel’s site, or his ad providers, or what, but I got a nasty “You’ve won an awesome prize!” popup when I surfed to HiJinksEnsue with my Android phone. No way to dismiss it either, without being sucked into the spammy contest site. Specifically, I noticed it when I went to view the comic he made about your reaction to the Kings winning the cup (which was awesome, btw).
    Regarding plushie Wil – adorable! 🙂

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