WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Hotter than July

  • WWdN in Exile

I've spent most of today working on my setlist for w00tstock on Thursday, and reviewing all of my notes from Falling Skies, so I am prepared to moderate that panel on Friday.

Normally, I take extended breaks on a workday and go for a walk in my neighborhood, sit with an iced tea on the patio and read a book, and do other things that I wouldn't be able to do if I didn't work on my own schedule in my own house*. Today, however, it is 96 degrees in the shade.** In the sun, it's literally 681 degrees.***

So I've gotten much more work done in much less time than usual (there's a lesson here, if I'm willing to pay attention t– hey! Fallout New Vegas is almost done installing on Steam!) because it's just too goddamn hot to do anything that takes me out into the Sun****.

My dogs, who usually accompany me on my walks and sojourns onto the back patio, have been handling the ungodly heat the way all good dogs do: sleeping on the couch.

Seamus and Riley sleeping on the couches
Sleepy Seamus Face
Seamus renders sheets useless
MAKE IT NOT SO HOT OUTSIDE PLEASE OKAY.
No, really, I'm comfortable like this.
These couches are in our front room, and we don't really use them that often, because our TV is in the other room*****. Still, when we have people over for fancy grown-up things like playing games and drinking homebrew, we want them to be nice and free of dog fur, so we put those sheets on them. As you can see, the dogs have done a spectacular job of rendering them useless.******

Some of you who are particularly observant may notice that the colour scheme and interior decoration is very similar to Evil Wil Wheaton's house on the Big Bang Theory. This is not by accident; I've had friends from Big Bang over for dinners and things, so when they wrote Evil Wil Wheaton's house into the script, Bill Prady and Steve Molaro described the colours and interior decorating to the art department. It's pretty amazing how close they got it, without ever seeing it for themselves.

* Gotta take advantage of all the perks while I can, you know.

** Too hot, too hot, in the shaa-hay-ayayayay-ade.

*** Literally.

**** The Sun is the Nerd's natural enemy and greatest predator.

***** Where our beds and TV… is.

****** There are a lot of footnotes in this post.

This isn't a footnote, really, but I couldn't call this post Hotter Than July and not link to this, right?

Also: Sir Duke. You're welcome, Joel.

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10 July, 2012 Wil

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Make your own Zombie Dice Brain Counters → ← A troubling realization

51 thoughts on “Hotter than July”

  1. beth9133 says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    It’s hot here too*
    *cuz it’s Texas

  2. Dedtarget says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Stupid stars with their stupid heat and stupid light always ruining stupid summer….

  3. Urbanwolf says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Ah yes. The couch sheets. It’s a losing battle that I nevertheless refuse to forfeit.

  4. JayeEmm says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    I believe the Spotted Dog Belleh is the greatest threat to grumpiness that our nation faces in these troubled times.

  5. Wil says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    +1

  6. Alittlewicked48 says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    It’s been hotter than balls here in Ohio, and in the Midwest in general. Our grass looks more like hay, and my feet are burnt from going to get the mail without putting shoes on.
    I like how you spell “colour” in the (in my not so humble opinion) correct way. It’s good to know I’m not the only born and raised American who has almost completed converted to British English spelling.

  7. Lunamoth42 says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Yup, yup. I like to laugh a little when my in-laws in the Northeast talk about the “heat wave”, ’cause here we just call it “summer”.
    And also, Dear The Rest of the Country: welcome to our pain…er…world!

  8. Lynntoynton says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    I’d happily swap with you – in England it’s been raining constantly :/

  9. Laurie Dow says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    My husband hates “colour”, “favourite” and all those words that have U’s ‘added’ to them in British English. I keep trying to convince him that it’s the ‘right’ way because it was first but he doesn’t buy it. I don’t use the British versions of those words but I do use ‘theatre’ which, of course, always gets marked as incorrect by the ever present spell-o-bot in every computerized device.

  10. Alex Swavely says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    Sheets? Slipcovers, man!

  11. gentlewit.com says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    I will never understand how dogs find that half-upside-down-half-twisted-on-their-side thing comfortable, but then my dogs do a lot of things that render me confused and bewildered.

  12. Gregg Barnes says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    I love the first picture of the white dog, I dont remember the name. He looks like someone that is suffering. Its pretty warm where I live, but its not like some places are getting. We are lucky.

  13. beth9133 says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    In all fairness, I suppose they have the right to laugh at us during a little wintertime precipitation…;-)
    iTheresaWatson

  14. Myimpretentious.wordpress.com says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    I feel your pain! We have FINALLY broken the intense heat wave from last week. Not that it’s “cool” by any means. It’s just not 100 degrees+ out.

  15. Wil says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    Her name is Riley, and she's 11. Seamus is 3. Somehow, though, they manage to play so much they exhaust each other.

  16. HAnneCaprio says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Anything put on the couch or floor, or anyplace else the dog decides to lay is extra material for them to rearrange into a comfy bed for dozing.
    At least, this is what my dogs tell me.

  17. Lunamoth42 says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    I laugh a little at Texans in Winter weather too, since I’m native to Pennsylvania.
    Doesn’t mean I won’t use a “snowy” or “icy” day to get out of driving to work of course. 😀

  18. Pettyproductions says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    How hot does it normally get in SoCo in July? Because in Texas in July 96 means a cold front just went through. And lord do I wish I were exaggerating!

  19. Wil says:
    10 July, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    It can get up to 110 if we're really lucky, though the marine influence usually keeps it closer to 104 in the valleys, where I live. In Hollywood and down by the beach, it rarely gets over 100 in summer.
    However, we don't get REALLY hot until September, which always sucked for those of us who had to go back to school at the end of August just as the beach and pool weather was really getting going.

  20. Rhettro says:
    10 July, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    I’ve seen 124 before, thankfully only once. Yep, that’s life in Phoenix. This is what our dog looks like during the summer months.
    http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j126/rhettro1/ginger-pood.jpg

  21. knobody says:
    10 July, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    that’s what i like about living in the nation’s eggplant, nice and cool in the summer. it rarely goes above the mid 90’s here. of course, it rarely goes below the mid 90’s as well. at least there is symmetry.

  22. Sa_chan_ says:
    10 July, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    I didn’t realize how much work you had to get done right after Polaris, thanks for taking the time to come up here!
    Also, your dogs are adorable. <3

  23. Pettyproductions says:
    10 July, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    In September we’re still frying. It lessens around the end of October just in time for second summer in November. You should come to Wizardworld around then and bring your swim trunks. We don’t stop swimming untill the new year.

  24. Ceinwenn.wordpress.com says:
    10 July, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Wil, it could be worse, you know. You could be here in Nottinham, UK, where it has rained almost every day since May! I kid you not! We have had torrential rain every few days & just normal rain every other day. So far, for July we have had more than a month’s worth of rain in the first 7 days!
    I’d love some sun!!

  25. Gabriel Erard says:
    10 July, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    I just saw a rerun of the episode in Evil Wil Wheaton’s house 🙂 I think I spotted the painting of Jay and Silent Bob on a corner, but I’m not sure!

  26. Reneehendricks says:
    10 July, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    I’ll try really hard to send some WA summer your way. We’re around 75.

  27. Grabsplatter says:
    10 July, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Love your pics of Seamus and Riley! Little speckled bellehs are especially irresistable! Do you have to put sunblock on Seamus? He’s got a lot of pink skin.
    It’s been freezing here in New Zealand for the last few days, so please send a bit of that heat our way, to counteract the Antarctic blast!

  28. Wil says:
    10 July, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    Yeah, he has to wear sunblock on his nose when he's in the sun for a long time. It's kind of adorable.

  29. Hijinksensue says:
    10 July, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    Wait, did I tell you about my endless love for “Sir Duke” (not “Endless Love,” but you know, ENDLESS love) on some sort of cruising boat? This feels like a lido deck style conversation we would have had that copious rum punches are preventing me from properly remembering.

  30. Wil says:
    10 July, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    We did indeed have a conversation on the lido deck during the cruising boat's boat cruising. I seem to recall that you were surrounded by the empty corpses of a hundred rum punches, their umbrellas and fruit accents wilted and alone in small pools of melted ice.
    That was the night you screamed at the moon and defied it to strike you down.

  31. Rachel Moore says:
    10 July, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    I noticed the paintings on the wall. Who is the artist? I really like them.

  32. Stephani Diamond says:
    10 July, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Are you planning on bringing wootstock to Portland again? Because you should!

  33. TD says:
    10 July, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    LOL, thanks for kind of inviting to the front room, and doggies are adorable, Seamus belly pattern looks like mandelbrot set fractals, and white beauty Reily’s hair is not too short is it, so if you brush it, you can make a sweater from it, lol, and maybe you need a chihuahua or something – for the balance on the couch

  34. Laura says:
    10 July, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    It could be worse, my pets are currently sporting about 4″ of wool.
    Also, are those gnomes?

  35. Whatanerd says:
    10 July, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    I swear I’m not going to do what I’m about to say because 1) it’s just inherently creepy; 2) I’m in an entirely other hemisphere; and 3) I’m just too damn lazy.
    Still, your dogs are immensely adorable, and I want to steal one.

  36. Mikeyq6 says:
    10 July, 2012 at 11:22 pm

    Send some heat across the pond. Weather is unsightly here in London. I’m talking umbrellas, jeans and long-sleeve shirts.

  37. Wil says:
    10 July, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    I don't remember his name, but I'll ask Anne. The paintings have a really cool story about them, too.

  38. karriePGH says:
    11 July, 2012 at 4:54 am

    Aahhh, love the nod to Mr. Wonder. Own it on vinyl because I’m old enough to have been alive when it came out on vinyl.
    I always wanted a pink-nosed dog. We just had a run of the mid to high ninety degree stuff here in Pittsburgh. Very thankful to have a break now.
    Loved this post. And the comments. Thanks for the entertainment with morning coffee.

  39. Sapphirescarlet says:
    11 July, 2012 at 6:38 am

    Would love to read that story! I signed in to comment on same said paintings, they’re quite intriguing.

  40. Sapphirescarlet says:
    11 July, 2012 at 6:41 am

    YES! Those speckles, they are killing me. And the ornery look on Riley’s face? Priceless!

  41. Imwithspock Hattrickk15 says:
    11 July, 2012 at 8:18 am

    I sincerely apologize as this has nothing to do with your post but I just had to tell you this and wasn’t able to find an email address so I could send this to you that way and I apologize in advance if this is an inappropriate place to put this.
    I met you at Polaris in Toronto on Saturday. I was in a purple shirt, polka dot skirt, and wore a long necklace with a huge Owl pendant. My friend in front of me had you sign a Best of TNG DVD and you had complained that “Tapestry” and “Inner Light” weren’t on the DVD. I basically said “herr derr, I really liked Stand by Me, derp”. Though those may not have been my actual words, that what it felt like I said after I walked away elated to now have a signed copy of your autobiography “Just a Geek”.
    I didn’t get a chance to start reading it until last night and I stayed up all night reading it. I couldn’t not put it down and just finished it a few minutes ago. Not only because it was fascinating to get an insight into that part of your life but because in many ways I feel it that in someways it parallels my own struggles to let go of certain things in my past. Your book truly touched me and I just wanted to thank you for that (and also for being super nice at Polaris).
    Cheers,
    Maggie

  42. Wayne Zombie says:
    11 July, 2012 at 8:51 am

    Yeah, I feel your pain, it might not get much over 70f today here. LA9KFHIP (Living At 9000′ Hath Its Privileges). But to atone for our sins, we’ll be going to Phoenix next week. But since I was born there, I handle it somewhat better than my wife.
    Speaking of which, I bought her a tee that says ‘The sun is trying to kill me’, which is appropriate as she’s a vampireastronomer.

  43. wabbit89 says:
    11 July, 2012 at 9:04 am

    We just got new couches for our living room. It’s nice, but we have an elderly cat. Those two things do not go well together. Therefore, we currently fight the “keep the blankets over as much of the couch as possible” battle.
    And yes, we’re losing that one, too.

  44. Hijinksensue says:
    11 July, 2012 at 9:54 am

    Yep. THAT’s the one. It’s all coming back to me… or at me.

  45. Wil says:
    11 July, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Thank you, Maggie. It was a pleasure meeting you and your friend (whose name has gone out of my head). I don't recall nearly as much herp and derp as you do, and I'm delighted to know that you enjoyed Just A Geek. Thanks for reading!

  46. Jakobpunkt says:
    11 July, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Normally, I take extended breaks on a workday and go for a walk in my neighborhood, sit with an iced tea on the patio and read a book, and do other things that I wouldn’t be able to do if I didn’t work on my own schedule in my own house
    It may seem silly, but I’m so grateful to you for saying this. I’m currently a grad student working on my thesis and I deal with a lot of guilt and anxiety about the fact that I can’t seem to work a solid eight hours every day like a “real grownup” would. Seeing someone who is manifestly successful describe a working style that’s more like mine really makes me feel a lot better, so thank you.
    Also, it was lovely to meet you this past weekend at Polaris. Thanks for signing my sister’s book!

  47. G33kboi says:
    11 July, 2012 at 10:30 am

    I imagine that it is quite a bit hotter than 681 degrees IN the sun, but I’m not a scientist nor do I play one on TV, so what do I know. 😉
    Also, your dogs are adorable.

  48. Christopher Arthur says:
    11 July, 2012 at 11:49 am

    I live in Ohio and last week it was literally over 100 degrees every single day and I was on staycation. So believe you me, I get the hot. In addition to all that I am a ginger and as everyone knows other than not having my own soul and needing to steal others so I can have a new freckle here and there, I also have almost no pigmentation and burn in like 3.2 milliseconds in the sun.

  49. MarkSchneider says:
    11 July, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    I went to California on work, San Fran area, amazed me that some eating establishments didn’t have AC. You tried that around here (Memphis area) and you would go out of business.

  50. Mbraus says:
    11 July, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    hey wil, do you ever get out to the east coast? i really want to play some tabletop games with you! I’m heading to a convention in maryland called Intervention, and it has a very generous gaming room for tabletop games and a place in it to buy the game. (really wanna play :()

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