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From the Vault: things every person should have

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This is one of those things that I forgot I wrote, and when I was reminded I wrote it, didn’t believe that I actually came up with something that I think is kind of cool.

Things every person should have:

  • A nemesis.
  • An evil twin.
  • A secret headquarters.
  • An escape hatch.
  • A partner in crime.
  • A secret identity.

What else?

(h/t Fuck Yeah Wil Wheaton)

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11 December, 2012 Wil

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I’m Doing A Live #Tabletop Q&A Google Hangout with Geek and Sundry this Sunday at 6pm Pacific → ← A map of a dungeon that never was, but may someday be…

60 thoughts on “From the Vault: things every person should have”

  1. Jesse Gardner says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:23 am

    Works with Firefox, just not with Webkit browsers.

  2. Cesar Negrete says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:24 am

    A swiss army knife
    A theme song

  3. Jesse Gardner says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:24 am

    A pseudonym.

  4. Scot Boyd says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:26 am

    A love interest.

  5. Marc Long says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:28 am

    A weakness for monologging.

  6. jhulten says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:28 am

    And in BBT you get to play your evil twin being someones nemesis… 33% accomplished!

  7. ThatAlaska says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:28 am

    A towel

  8. TabbyLavalamp says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Minions and/or lackeys.

  9. Maksym Volodymyrrovitch Senyshyn says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:34 am

    A robot pal

  10. Curtis Krumel says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:34 am

    A beautiful gal at home.

  11. Alex Blais says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:36 am

    an Ascot…

  12. RunMonkeyMama says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:37 am

    A superhero cape.

    1. mack_j says:
      11 December, 2012 at 12:43 pm

      No Capes!

  13. Joshua Arquitt says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Duct Tape. Of course. With the moustache print.

  14. Marc Boudreau says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:39 am

    A theme song. Everyone needs theme music that plays as soon as they enter a room.

    1. Wayne Zombie says:
      13 December, 2012 at 10:05 am

      “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka!”

      Of course, hanging with Richard Roundtree is more than enough proof that you are truly a badass.

  15. Mary Pyrzynski says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:39 am

    As posted on facebook: Theme Music

  16. Jerry Wadell says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:40 am

    A henchman. Or, at the very least, a few minions.

  17. Yancy Burns says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:42 am

    A dog ( or possibly a cat, if you swing that way )

  18. Angie Gidillini says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Superpowers.

  19. SebQ17 says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:56 am

    A bust of Shakespeare with a hidden button inside it which is revealed when you flip back the head. When you press the button, a secret door opens and inside: Fireman’s poles to your secret lair.

    Thanks, Adam West!

  20. Nicöle Marïe says:
    11 December, 2012 at 11:01 am

    http://imgur.com/L1pa1

    1. Wil says:
      11 December, 2012 at 12:27 pm

      Woah. Is this a thing?

  21. Lisa Knox says:
    11 December, 2012 at 11:02 am

    A sidekick, preferably of the comic relief type

  22. jwilkers says:
    11 December, 2012 at 11:36 am

    A fez.
    A clown sweater.

  23. wabbit89 says:
    11 December, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Why do I feel the need to quote Sherlock? (People don’t have archenemies in real life…)

    Because seriously, that’s crap, John Watson.

    I agree with this list completely, as well as the additions from others here.

    I’m going to add a huge leather chair. You know, for the narrative.

  24. Amy Kelly says:
    11 December, 2012 at 11:42 am

    A reliable and inconspicuous getaway vehicle.

  25. Greg Bickford says:
    11 December, 2012 at 11:48 am

    B.O.B. – Bug Out Bag, you never know when you gotta GTFO with a quickness!

  26. Amanda Wooldridge says:
    11 December, 2012 at 11:48 am

    An Achilles heel (fatal flaw).

  27. Ingo Scheide says:
    11 December, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    a Plan B (and plans B+n, preferrably)

    and if you’re german:

    ein Eisen im Feuer
    ein Ass in Ärmel
    einen Funken Ehre
    ein Stückchen Glück
    einen Finger in der Wunde
    einen Stein im Brett
    mehr Glück als Verstand
    einen wunden Punkt
    einen Fels in der Brandung
    ein Eisen im Feuer
    ein Herz auf der Zunge

  28. 50SevenSputnik says:
    11 December, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    An airtight alibi

  29. modestalmond says:
    11 December, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    – A shovel (for burying evidence).

  30. Tara Li says:
    11 December, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Hot MOTAS opponent to amp up the UST to 11.

  31. Tim Miller says:
    11 December, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    A cyanide capsule in case items #1-6 fail.

  32. Luke Meyers says:
    11 December, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    Emergency Pants
    A Backup Plan

  33. sck501 says:
    11 December, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    A catchphrase… SPOON!

  34. Jody Handley says:
    11 December, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    A really, really good blanket.*

    * Preferably one with an invisibility charm built in, but your basic wool flannel is also useful.

  35. Jody Handley says:
    11 December, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Also: shelf paper. Lots and lots of shelf paper.

  36. Theanderblast says:
    11 December, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    A cordless reciprocating saw. For those moments…

  37. Elizabeth Bryant says:
    11 December, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    – Swiss Army Knife
    – Duct Tape
    – 6-Pack of Coca-Cola
    – Cash
    – Bat’leth
    – Dark Chocolate
    – Hollywood Ammo (Eliminates Empty Clips)
    – Lassie (For those awkward occasions when you fall down a well, and somebody has to tell Timmy)

    1. Amy Kelly says:
      12 December, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      Bat’leth

      AWESOME idea! 🙂

  38. Dan Garcia says:
    11 December, 2012 at 3:15 pm

    A sage mentor (a Yoda, a Gandalf)

  39. Brian Oliver says:
    11 December, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    solvents

  40. Franziska Kast says:
    11 December, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    – a cat
    – a “i’m savin’ up to clone my cat”-savings box
    – star trek tng, fawlty towers, black books, high fidelity and apollo 13 on dvd
    -‘ the little book of calm’
    – a ‘don’t panic’-towel
    – a(t least one) friend
    – a family
    – good music
    – books
    – coffee
    – someone to love
    – a home
    – a future
    – a think geek plush microbe
    – the b-movie survival guide
    – mountains and/or the sea
    – a dad and mom who are baking x-mas cookies and sending them to me 😉 (thanks!)
    – very important: a “smultronställe” (Swedish term for “a favorite place”, “a place you want to come back to”, “a place where you feel good and can relax”)
    – chocolate
    – professional experience as a projectionist – for we don’t die, we just change over… ha!
    – tolerance and patience to endure bad jokes
    – people who play “ticket to ride” with you
    …and sometimes a guinness, or an occasional laphroaig…
    – duck tape.

  41. Chris Goodwin says:
    11 December, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    A full set of polyhedral dice.

  42. Laura Waldhier says:
    11 December, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    A kindred spirit.

  43. Chris Christensen says:
    11 December, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    A catch phrase which induces thunderous applause and cheering.

  44. TSAvenger says:
    11 December, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    I think everyone needs and evil laugh.

  45. Mark Schneider says:
    12 December, 2012 at 7:33 am

    Another Radio Free Burrito?

  46. Mark Schneider says:
    12 December, 2012 at 7:36 am

    A really cool oath of enmity.
    Friends who admit when they are wrong/sorry.
    Acid proof undies.
    A freaking d20 that rolls 20s instead of 19s.

  47. Alan Oursland says:
    12 December, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Love.

    All you need is love.

    Do do do do dooooo.

  48. KellCrow says:
    12 December, 2012 at 9:14 am

    An Eevil Laboratory.

    A character plushie.

  49. Pingback: From the Vault: things every person should haveWIL WHEATON dot NET: 2.0 | WIL WHEATON dot NET: 2.0 « G.B.Taylor
  50. Sam Stanford says:
    12 December, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    More Shields…

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