Reader R writes:
Dear Wil,
I wonder if you could give me some advice. My daughter Ella is 10 years old and is really getting into Star Trek, particularly Voyager and DS9. She’s even started drawing her own fan fic comic about Odo and Quark. So we thought we’d take her to a con.
The problem is, she has ADHD and mood disorder, and me and my husband both have depression/anxiety. So places that are crowded and have lots of long lines are hard for us, collectively.
I’m wondering if you can recommend a con that’s particularly well-run so that we can help our daughter enjoy the experience. We understand that we’ll have to manage waits ourselves, we won’t get help like we do at Disney World, but I can imagine that some cons are completely packed with people and it would be hard to find a quiet space to give Ella a break from the crowds or a food vendor that can serve us in a reasonable amount of time.
Any advice you have would be appreciated. I imagine you’ve developed mad skills for surviving a con while anxious.
Oh, and we live on the east coast (came to your NY show with Paul and Storm–awesome!) so a show on this side of the country would be great. And if there are games there, so much the better.
I have both anxiety and depression, and a combination of medication and therapy helps me deal with the lovely* things they do to me. When I’m at a convention, if I start to feel that overwhelming feeling of being trapped in the trash compactor, I can duck out into a quiet place until I’m able to get C-3P0 to shut down the power on that level, but if someone has spent time and money to get to a con, that’s probably not something they want to do.
I don’t really have a good answer for R, but I thought that maybe some of you who read my blog may have personal experience that you could share about dealing with mental health issues when you’re at a con.
*and by ‘lovely’, I mean ‘not lovely at all’.
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I have some advice. If you can, take medication before hand. Prepare yourself, that it will be loud…noisy, and suck at times.
Go as someone else
I find, if i am not Lori: Anxiety girl, and am some other “hero” of mine…if i am acting that part, hiding behind a character i am far far calmer.
What really helped me is having a hotel in close proximity and forcing a cool down period after a block of activity.
I went to my first Trek convention last year in Boston (bonus, east coast). I was expecting NY Comic-Con, but what I got was a very subdued, low-key atmosphere. I also suffer from anxiety, but I was a little disappointed at how underwhelming the turnout was. But for this family, it sounds like it might be just about right.
I started to get my own hotel room at cons as soon as I could afford it and sometimes room with people who have similar needs, if I am short on money. I sometimes just spend a couple of hours in the room alone reading when I need to recharge. Sometimes I knit or crochet during panels and that helps. If there is something she can do (read) or an object (stuffed animal or something) that helps her when being in a long line, that can help. So many people have stuffed animals at conventions that no one would blink at seeing someone with one for comfort. I find that looking at the program in advance and planning what things you are going to go to and prioritizing them helps. If there is something that is a must see but then after it something you can skip if you need to that always helps. If I’m too overwhelmed and too far away from my hotel room then I look for an empty room to sit in for a bit. I hope these help.
I find that talking to other people while in line helps a lot to distract myself and ease my anxiety.
I have pretty severe anxiety myself and my doctor recently diagnosed me with ADHD. I just went to comic con for the first time last year. The crowds weren’t as heavy if you attend early in the morning. As the day progresses, the lines get longer and the crowds are harder to walk through. When I hit a breaking point, I left the con and went to a restaurant that was not attached to the convention center. I went back after lunch and realized that the crowds of people tripled so I made one last quick trip to grab the photo I took and left. I still felt I got my monies worth because I spent several enjoyable hours before lunch & left with peace of mind. Hope that helps!
I have a mood disorder and mild anxiety. When I’m going to a crowded/busy place where I know there will be little to no chance of escaping for a while, I load up on relaxing teas (chamomile, peppermint and melissa work like a charm) and (herbal) emergency drops that are sold as first-aid treatment for shock. The right preparation for the big day is key to avoid crisis situations. Breathe deeply and have fun when you’re there! 🙂
If you’re staying at a hotel nearby (there will often be one connected to the convention centre, even if it costs a bit more) plan to retreat to your room at least once or twice during the day for 15-20 minute breaks. You won’t miss much, and when you come back you’ll be refreshed & ready to take on the next part of the day.
I find that I have the biggest problems with smaller to medium crowds. There is a certain point when a larger crowd becomes such a torrent that you become lost in it and regain your anonymity. This causes the anxiety goes down, such as a major sporting event (Go KIngs).
I suffer from both anxiety and depression as well. A good idea would be to call the given convention centre and ask if there are any areas that you are able to go in order to breathe easier and collect yourselves. Another thing to do is look to see what attractions/talks etc are on that you wish to see and get there before time so you can scope an area where you will feel most comfortable. Before getting to the convention centre, also find a quiet cafe or diner nearby where you can have a break.
I find the above works really well in avoiding feeling overwhelmed, stopping the inevitable crushing ‘I just want to go home’ buzz.The most important thing you can do however, is have fun.
Even if there isn’t a well defined policy, the con organizers are often (but not always) willing and eager to help/accomodate. I suggest picking a con that looks fun based on proximity, guests, etc. and getting in touch with the organizers on how they can help it be a better experience for you.
Also, go during weekdays, buy the “VIP” tickets or equivalent, and show up as early as possible. On the first day of the SLC con last year, on Wednesday morning at opening the vendor area was almost a ghost town. Friday afternoon, on the other hand, was hellishly overcrowded with the fire marshals blocking the entrances for a while.
One of the things that Cons can do is provide one or more quiet rooms and spaces without any bright and fluorescent lighting or lots of ambient noise, as well as provide comfortable seating and tables for people to use when they’re feeling overwhelmed. Some of the things that attendees can do is wear dark glasses and bring head phones/ear buds and something to listen to or books to get lost in when they’ve had enough of all the random noise. A combination of the two would be ideal.
I always hide in a bathroom and read a book… or really wherever I could get to to read… just some where shut off from anyone seeing me and read long enough to get my mind off all the disorder out there… block everything out… and then I’d go back out and try and hold on to that good feeling… that excitement that I always get from whatever adventure is happening in the book… it’s like a reset button for me… but if they all have a problem perhaps they need to figure out something as a group… tell each other cheesy jokes… after all laughter relieves stress… you just have to find something to break up that moment of panic…
Go on a quieter day – if the con opens on Thursday or Friday, those days will be quieter than Saturday, which is the main day. Sundays (especially first thing) can often be quieter as well.
I’ve mostly only been to smaller cons (I’m in Canada) but I always find that there are some parts of the building that are naturally quieter than others – make it a priority to find the calm spots before you need them. You can always retreat there to just watch the crowds with a bit of breathing room if necessary.
You can also have a look at some of the rooms that they hold panels in. Often there are panels that are not well-attended so the rooms will be relatively quiet and calm. And if it’s a topic you’re interested in, even better!
The food areas will always be busy around lunch and for large chunks of the afternoon. They will also be expensive. I would highly suggest at least bringing snacks (cereal bars are great for this) and water, or at the very least a bottle you can fill from a fountain or the bathroom taps.
Take it at your own pace, take lots of breaks when you need them. Cons can be exhausting and overwhelming, but I also find them to be a lot of fun.
Oh, and definitely bring a camera! I hope you’re able to find one that works for you, and that you all enjoy the experience. 🙂
My suggestion is to look for smaller local cons. Here in Mobile, Alabama we have Mobicon and Pensacon in Pensacola, Fl that we can go to. Something smaller and local may be the thing to try before jumping into a bigger setting.
I would email the organizers of the con ahead of time and ask if they have any suggestions specifically for their con – they might have the perfect solution!
Hey there. My first con was Dragon-Con, and as someone with ADHD. Whoa. I’ve decided I actually like smaller more local cons better. The big stars won’t be there, but the fans will be. There are fewer crowds, no lines. And it’s the making connections with other fans that I enjoy more than the SEEING ALL THE ACTORS. (Sorry Wil.) Also, if you start there, you might find friends who will be supportive of you when you try out the bigger more crowded cons.
Good luck! And if it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth it. And it’s ok if the crowds aren’t fun.
Starting with one of the smaller, local cons might work better. It may be harder to find guests that you’re interested in that way, but they’re a good introduction to how Cons work. There’s Farpoint (Feb) and Shore Leave (Aug) in the Baltimore area.
In general, I’ve found it best if I can get a room in the hotel where an event is being held. That way, I have a base I can go back to. I also tend to pack some of my own food so I can just go eat in the room if I need to. I don’t know any of the cons on the East Coast, but i would look for smaller ones held in hotels where you can get a room.
It’s great that you’re supporting your kid!
I’d suggest perhaps looking for a smaller local Sci-Fi con rather than one that is specifically “Star Trek”. Star trek is usually well represented at any sci fi con.
I found that planning what speakers or events i wanted to see most helped to prioritize my time so I had time to get away from the con. Swim in the pool, watch tv in the room, have a meal away from the con crowds.
I’ve had breakdowns at conventions before, and obviously its not fun. My best advice would be to come prepared. If you have medication that helps you manage anxiety preventatively always take it, and if you have medication that is best used to defuse spiky situations once they’ve started, always carry it with you. Often times I’ve found that the knowledge that you have the tools you need should things get rough is enough to prevent it from getting rough in the first place. Also, stick together, solitude is the enemy at conventions, mostly because there are just so many people and such sensory overload that without people to help slow things down around you it can get to be too much too quickly.
I’ve been to a number of cons on the east coast, and I would recommend PAX East, I had the misfortune of suffering a breakdown there once and the show staff helped me get to the medic where I was able to bring myself back under control. That’s another thing, always take note of where the first aid is located, panic attacks, these are health emergencies at conventions. Don’t hesitate to get help, they won’t judge and they won’t charge. If nothing else a first aid station can be a safe place to take a breather.
PAX is very, very well run, the lines are extremely well managed and confusion and chaos are kept to a minimum. Also, the volunteer staff by and large gives a crap, which puts them leagues ahead of certain others. Contrast New York Comic Con which has been a slog for me the two times I attended. NYCC is in many ways the opposite of PAX for friendliness, if you don’t have a lot of money to put out or something that will give you a massive boost in sympathy, for example in 2012 I was fighting cancer, that is the only reason I was able to get in to certain panels and autograph sessions, do not believe the program, the staff just gives the tickets to autograph sessions and such out to whoever bribes them or to their friends. It was still worthwhile as a last hurrah before I began chemotherapy, but I was going to that convention primarily to visit friends in the city, not for the content of the con itself. Another thing to keep in mind, is why you’re going. If you’re going for games, focus on games, if you’re going for family, focus on family, if you’re going for community, focus on that. Yes, you will always feel like there is something you’re missing out on but trust me, your quality of life will be well served if you know why you’re there and stay focused on that.
My son is seven and has similar issues– ADHD and autism spectrum stuff. We have been to Boston once and Providence twice. Providence is always awesome, and we have always been able to find somewhere quiet to go when he gets overstimulated. We always pack lots of snacks in case there is a problem with food vendors or whatnot. He likes to dress up, but we always pack a change of clothes too in case he decides he doesn’t like the attention/ the costume is itchy/ he’s changed his mind. And we always go into it thinking that if he decides he wants to leave, we won’t force him to be there. (even if it is disappointing for us.) We know the signs and are super vigilant in public to make sure that he isn’t melting down.
I can’t imagine dealing with it if my husband and I had issues with anxiety too. Is there a family friend/ aunt/ uncle/ someone who could go with you as well? So you can all sort of tag team the situation?
I work with kids who have ADHD and anxiety, and when they have to be in places at school that are both loud and crowded they usually wear headphones, you know, the old school kind….these not only dull the noises, but they provide a comforting pressure on the head that is reassuring…..also a pressure vest worn under clothing may help….these vests have strong velcro and can be adjusted, if put on tightly, they can only be worn for 15 to 20 minutes at a time….also, scout out an area beforehand that will be your official break area that is more quiet and out of the way and plan frequent breaks….most of all have fun!
I’ve had anxiety since I was in my mid-twenties. Being in large groups is hard for me but having a plan for what I’m going to do when I get to that place is key. I try to focus on the fun aspects and when everything goes all bad, I just take deep breaths and remember that I’m there too support my friend/kid/wife. By the way, I do not take any medicines for my issues. It just makes me feel less like myself.
I have both generalized and social anxiety, and fibromyalgia and asthma that makes it difficult to get around cons at times. I find that being prepared is the best advice. Have your meds handy at all times, and have a plan. Having the schedule of things you want to do mapped out and knowing the best way to get from Point A to Point B makes the con experience much more enjoyable. And it also helps to have a room nearby, so that you can escape to recharge if needed. Good luck!
Conventions are fun, but they’re also social maelstroms. Everyone needs time out of the fray, please don’t feel like it’s not an ok thing to want. It totally is. I’d find a convention where you can stay in the same hotel, something smaller. This makes hopping back to your room for some quieter time easier. Also realize that there’s always going to be more going on than you can get to, you’ll always be missing something and it’s better to get to the things you can enjoy than push yourselves to go to something you might like, but are not in a state to enjoy. Look to see if you can find an explicit gaming track on the convention’s web site, if there’s an actual page for it there’s often more structured gaming, on a schedule, which can make it easier to budget your very social time. For example, if there’s a Settler’s tournament from 4pm-6pm, you can make the couple of hours earlier a relaxing-in-the-room-to-recharge time.
I don’t see anyone mentioning anything other than huge big-city Cons. There are smaller, regional Cons all over the country, pretty much all through the year. Some are free-standing, some are associated with colleges or universities; some are themed and some are general. Often they’ll bring in well-known GoH Authors, Stars, and Artists. My first Con was WillyCon, a *tiny* Con at Wayne State College in Wayne, NE, run by the college science fiction/fantasy club. It was great – you got to spend a lot of time with the GoHs and make friends with students and fans and artists and writers who had come to be on panels and give workshops. It was small enough that I didn’t get overwhelmed with mobs. These Cons are often advertised in the back of Locus magazine but I’m sure local comic stores and libraries will have info on local Cons coming up.
I’ve always found staying the night in the same place works best for me because its a quick escape to my room if things get “lovely.” I also do the typical sheldon run-down of schedules, restaurants, and alternate activity options before hand so that there isn’t any confusion or uncertainty on top of the crowds, a-holes, and noise. I know lots of planning and prep seems excessive, ocd even, but its much better than a panic attack or traumatized kid.
I’ll start by saying that I’ve never been to a convention, however, my husband and I have plans to attend Emerald City Comicon this year. I tend to get anxious/overwhelmed in crowded places, so instead of purchasing 3 day tickets we decided to get a one day pass for Friday (our logic being that as a work/school day it might not be quite as crowded as Saturday/Sunday).
I don’t know about specific cons in the NE section of the country, but they need to check if the con they’re interested in has a Handicap Access. If they do, the family should contact them to make prior arrangements for special access to the quieter staff areas. When the family picks up their badges, they should double-check to make sure the arrangements are in place and where their quiet area is located. They should get a special sticker or something to identify them as having access and get the name of the head of Handicap Access to give to the security staff in the area in case the word hasn’t trickled down yet. (You know how it can be.) If there is no Handicap Access at the con, the family should find someone with the authority on the con staff to take care of the matter. Remember, the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) says “reasonable accommodation.”
The family might also want to start getting their feet wet at a small to mid-size con, or try attending a one-day con put on by one of the con management companies. They should still make sure these smaller cons can accommodate their needs.
Always pre-register, My family and I go to an anime convention #AnimeBanzai and we alway s pre register not only so we can avoid the huge lines, but save a lilttle funding as well and we get there a day early and we can usually pickup out badges there the evening before con. That way at 9 am when the doors open we’re already inside walking the halls of greatness and fandom!
I deal with all three of those on a daily basis, but I have to say… I have never been more shocked than I was at my first Con last year, SDCC, when I realized that even though it was crowded, loud, and required a lot of waiting around, I was happy and much more social than usual. Find places to eat or a small store in the area you can retreat to, grab a table, and have tea or a bite to eat. Talk to others in line, I found that at cons it’s less intimidating and you often share common intrests! It’s not easy but it’s worth it and the excitment keeps you going, although you might need to sleep for a few days when you get back.
I have anxiety as well. When crowds get to me, I try to find the least populated area. That can be looking for places outside the convention itself (search for restaurants or something outside the convention just to get away for a little bit.).
I would say are there any friends that have experienced a convention that you could go with? This way you could have someone with you who knows about lines and waiting.
Plan, plan, plan. When the convention releases it’s schedule, read it, learn it, know it. Look at floor plans, memorize especially if there is more than one way in or out. If a convention is 3 or 4 days, do the Thursday or the Friday. Saturdays are the busiest days for conventions.
Ask the convention organizers if there are accommodations for things.
Set expectations that you might not get to do all you wanted to do/meet who you wanted to meet.
While I’ve never been to a Con, I’ve gone to a few large audience events. I suffer from anxiety and get overwhelmed when the crowds seem to be on top of me. I have a very understanding and supportive husband. Our trick is, yes, to go early. You can usually move around quite freely. Also, most of these events have a map of what’s where. You can pick & choose what interests you instead of wandering aimlessly. That way, when the crowds get bad, you’ve targeted & seen what you want to see, & can say you’ve had your money’s worth, & go home anxiety free.
As someone who aims to be conscious of friends with similar traits as the ones mentioned by Reader R, I have been happy to discover that Geek Girl Con – in Seattle – has been a comfortable, positive experience for many people. It’s not overly crowded, family-oriented, and is staffed as well as attended by a wonderfully mindful group of congoers who contribute to a very lovely and safe environment. This past year, they also had designated areas like an ‘introvert alley’ for people to go and decompress if they needed. Though I’m not sure what Reader R’s family travel comfort level might be, I highly recommend GGC as a convention to keep in mind. I send best wishes to you all in your endeavors to have a positive family congoing experience!
Once you have some ideas of some cons that sound good, definitely email the organizers (superhelpful) and use resources like floor plans/event schedules to visualize the way the con is laid out and the places you want to go.
Also- Google photos of past cons or events in a specific space to help you see what the event looks like and prepare for being in it, or gauge whether you want to be.
I take my Aspie son to Anime Boston and Pax East every year. Bring earplugs for the noise. Look for quiet rooms that no one is using if you need a break. Ive found con people are very understanding & if you explain your circumstances theyre very willing to help. For lines, have one parent in line & the other can sit off to the side until you get close to the front. Con goers are also usually understanding. I think its because as geeks we get it.
Hi – The only cons I have been to are with Creation Entertainment (which put on Star Trek cons). creationent.com If you can spend the money (it’s pricey) to get their VIP package, you will find it will suit your need incredibly well. You have an area backstage not only to meet the guests but to hang out quietly in between panels (snacks provided!). Also, you get to skip ALL lines, no waiting in crowds! They auction the VIP packages about a month or two before the convention. Even if you can’t afford VIP, Creation runs cons that are specific to shows, i.e., you will get a con that is only about Star Trek. You always have a seat for panels and things don’t overlap so you won’t miss panels vs photo ops. I’ve heard it’s less chaotic than other conventions. Best of luck! Diane
I love going to cons, but I also have anxiety and depression. One of the things that helps me, is having people who understand what I’m going through with me. If I need to step outside the convention center or go to the hotel room for a little bit, I only have to mention it to a friend and it helps. Instead of internalizing it and feeling like I’m going to miss something, I’ll mention it to them and they say something like “I understand” or “Take your time”. They know I’m not having fun if my anxiety is messing with my head, and they help me remember it.
I’ve only ever been to the Con here in Calgary, but I imagine it’s a similar thing in other places – it really depends on which day you go. For example, the one here runs Thursday evening to Sunday afternoon. My suggestion would be to stay on the weekends and if you can go early on the Friday morning. The crowds are usually pretty thin, the lines are a lot shorter, and in general everything is a lot calmer. On the flip side, I would strongly suggest staying away from the Saturday afternoons – that’s when you get the wall-to-wall crowds and a significantly higher number of cranky people.
Consider volunteering with a local fan group such as Trekkers or Browncoats, or with a gaming club. This gives you a home base and a feeling of being an insider, and you can work your volunteer schedule around events you want to see.
Take extra good care of yourself: get enough sleep, avoid junk food & caffeine, get exercise, meditate, go outside for fresh air. Split off with your spouse so each of you can get alone-time then meet up again. Honor your rhythms: are you best morning, afternoon, evening?
If you cosplay, let go of perfectionism. Keep it low-key. It’s REALLY fun to have an alternate persona, but you might not enjoy having a bunch of strangers taking your picture. Dress comfortably! 🙂
Our son loves cons but has multiple mental issues. Some of our advice would be to attend on the last day when number are less, ear plugs are a must, and find a place for cool down – most con’s I’ve attended are in hotels or convention halls. If you can’t afford a hotel room for quick escapes, then seek out a manager and ask for a empty conference room or other space you can escape to – the needs of those with anxiety, social disorders is becoming more and more common and any good site will understand and help you find a ‘decompression’ zone. Oh – and I always carry food in my satchel so I don’t have to wait for vendors.
I have anxiety and depression, and my son has ADHD, so I can sympathize with R. Do research online into smaller cons, ones that are held in hotels. Rent a room, if possible, one as far from the main part of the con as possible. That’ll give you a private place to hide when the inevitable crash occurs. Pay for a schedule and map, if necessary, then retreat to your room and plan what you want to see. It seems to me things go much more smoothly if there’s a plan and an escape route. Don’t plan to stay all day to “get your money’s worth”.
I posted this on Wil’s facebook page, but I thought I would put it here as well. Some of the best advice I’ve seen is from Jen over on EPBOT. She goes to Dragon con in costume despite severe anxiety. She has written several excellent posts on coping at cons. She is also majorly into supporting girls letting their geek show. http://www.epbot.com/2014/01/5-ways-to-help-your-loved-one-through.html Thank you for putting this question out there for everyone Wil!
I have ADHD and my husband has Anxiety. I’m medicated, but he’s not. Needless to say, crowds are not fun for us. I’d suggest starting with a smaller con, like Long Beach, or a Wizard Wold con.. Don’t start off with a giant like SDCC. We usually attack the convention floor early bc there are less people, and start off in the less crowded areas. Ease into it.. Then we work our way into the more crowded areas, and as lunch time approaches, leave the con for lunch to a less crowded area, and give yourself some time to reset. Also find some panels that you might enjoy, those are calming as well. But def start off with a small con, they’re cheaper and less crowded. So if you end up needing to leave early, you won’t be throwing money out.
I can’t comment but I know that Jen who wrote for epbot.com has anxiety and attends cons. She has written a couple posts about it and I know she did a round-up of sorts about tips to coping. I can’t figure out how to link (on my phone). But of check out her blog.
Hi, I’m not sure if this is going to be in anyway helpful but I do get overwhelmed by crowds more often than not… The main reason why I’m such an avid Internet shopper. 😉
Last year I visited San Diego Comic con and even though it is just huuuuuge I thought that it was incredibly well organised and I always found it easy to get out of the crowd, stand off to the side, go outside or escape to the spacious ladies restrooms for a breather (or… Rest room stuff lol).
I do not suffer from anxiety thst is triggered by crowds but yet they annoy, frustrate and overwhelm me at times. However, all I can tell you that even though SDCC can get mad (esp. On the Saturday of the con!!!) I think your daughter will love it. It is extremly well organised. I mean Will probably knows as I saw him walking around left in peace just like I saw other famous people. It is respectful, relaxed, well organised and great fun.
Oh and also: SDCC offers help for handicapped people and people who have certain special needs. You might want to look into that so you won’t have to wait in line with the rest but get to skip ahead a little to make it easier on all of you 🙂
My first convention (Emerald City in Seattle) was an exhilarating and overwhelming experience. I even got to meet Wil! But I’ve learned a lot about how to manage my crowd/social anxiety since then.
If you can, find out what the ‘slowest’ day at your convention of choice is going to be. If it’s over three days, this is usually the first day, but could be the last. Consider attending just this one day for your first con. As the con wears on (and on and on….) attendees, exhibitors, minions, etc get worn out, and that atmosphere can get frustrating. Go when it’s likely to have the least amount of folks, although most cons these days are still going to have A LOT of folks to push through.
Find one thing you are really excited to do. Maybe it’s meet a favorite artist in the vendor area. Go buy something and have a fun interaction. Maybe it’s attending a panel with your favorite actor. Whatever it is, each of you should have one thing that kind of propels you through the day. Looking forward to that one thing, and then the high of the afterglow will carry you for a while.
If you can, schedule some ‘out of the convention’ time. We’re lucky in that ECCC is within walking distance of lots of lunch spots, so even walking 9 blocks away or so, we can have a quiet meal, collect our thoughts, make plans for the rest of the day. If it’s not easy to have meals outside of the convention center, consider just going for a walk for an hour or so. Or find a quiet place near the convention center to take a load off and people watch. Your brain and body will need the rest, and you’ll feel calmer for the next leg of your adventure.
This is getting long, but I hope it’s helpful. I have to mentally prepare myself for cons for about 2 weeks before, and I usually just visualize what it’s going to be like, so my brain doesn’t get ‘surprised’, which often triggers the worst of my anxiety. Above all, if you feel like you need to leave, like you’ve had enough for the day, give yourself permission to do it. Yes, the tickets were expensive. Maybe the travel was difficult. But you having a positive experience is WAY more important. Take photos and laugh and revel in the atmosphere of being surrounded by people that love what you love. Have fun.
While I’ve never been to a con, I do have anxiety, and I have hard time with large events of that type. I think there are a lot of great suggestions already in the comments here, but I have one thing to add to those, and that is to be prepared to leave if you really have to. It can be disappointing, but sometimes it is just what you have to do. It has helped me to really think about it before hand and give myself permission to leave. If I always have that as an option (I could go to the bathroom, or get something to eat, or I could leave…), it’s a little easier to do it if I really need to.
I’ve been in therapy for depression; not sure exactly how “bad” mine is, and I’m pretty sure I have some level of social anxiety. I attended a couple GenCon events back in the late 90s, and lately I’ve been going to DragonCon in Atlanta semi-regularly. I suspect that there are “better” cons somewhere for me (i.e. smaller), but I still feel Dragoncon works for me. There are times I feel overwhelmed by the crowds. I find that just ducking back into my hotel room for a bit works great (for a bite to eat or even just to read for a bit). As Tricia also said, I’ve found that approaching it in the way that works for me, I still leave feeling like I’ve gotten my moneys worth. I’ve also found that the experience of being around like-minded people makes it an easier environment as well. I have a ready made conversation starter as everyone in the line is there for the thing the line is for. So, I’ve actually had a lot of really positive social experiences there.