We went through several rounds of meetings and auditions, each one ending with the people in the room praising my preparation, passion, and on-camera presence.
I remember getting several calls from casting, and each time I expected to be told I’d been hired, I was told that I needed to read some new, different material, or come back in to meet someone new. This process went on for well over a month, until I finally got a call from my manager.
“They want you to write an essay about why they should hire you,” he said.
“What?” I said. Was I auditioning to host a show, or was I in middle school?
“I guess part of the job will be writing for WIRED, and they want to see a sample of that,” he said.
“Okay,” I sighed, already knowing that I wasn’t going to get this job, because that’s the way things went back then.
I opened up a text editor on my Linux machine, and I wrote the following essay, which I hadn’t thought about or seen in nearly ten years, until I came across it last night in an old documents backup folder on a hard drive that I’m cleaning up.
It’s simply not possible for me to cram 34 years of science enthusiasm into the one paragraph I was asked to write, but I will attempt to be as brief as I can.
I’ve been a technology and science geek my entire life, starting with National Geographic’s “Let’s Go to the Moon” when I was 7 years old. When I was 11, I programmed in Atari BASIC, and wrote my own games on my TI-99/4A. I was online when BBS systems could only handle one user at a time, 1200 baud was blazing fast, and 256 colors was magnificent. Today, I make my primary living in jobs that didn’t exist ten years ago, as a writer for online magazines.
Over the last decade, as I’ve watched what was once the province of serious nerds like myself become more common, it’s been a passion of mine to educate and enlighten anyone who will listen about the impact of science and technology on our culture, whether it’s climate change and network neutrality, or GPS devices and the Large Hadron Collider.
I was a Wired subscriber from issue one, until I cancelled all my magazine subscriptions in favor of online versions and RSS feeds a few years ago. I was interviewed for Wired in 2001.
When I was a cast member on Star Trek: The Next Generation, I frequently met with astronauts and scientists, and spoke at several NASA functions. I’ve been attending the JPL open house since I was in elementary school, and I’ve been a backyard astronomer for nearly as long.
In 1992, I walked away from the entertainment industry to work for NewTek, and worked on the Video Toaster 4000. Long before iMovie and Final Cut Pro made editing as simple as word processing, we were bringing professional quality video production to anyone who wanted it, for just $5,000 (at a time when the average set up cost closer to $85,000.)
For many years, I was a frequent contributor to TechTV’s The Screen Savers, and filled in a few times on Call for Help. As a result of that work, I was hired to co-host a technology/gadget show on the Revision3 network called InDigital, where I review things as varied as routers and video game controllers. I frequently discuss public policy concerning technology, most recently the threats against Internet radio by the Copyright Royalty Board. I am one of the original Netscape Navigators (now called Scouts) at the new Netscape News, where I frequently submit science and technology stories. I have been an open source and free software advocate and Linux user since 1995 (when it was still really hard to use) and wrote all three of my books in OpenOffice.org. I’ve built too many computers to count.
Before Chris Anderson articulated The Long Tail, I was espousing a similar theory to anyone who would listen to me. My blog at wilwheaton.net was very successful and had a large readership (about 30,000 RSS subscribers, and 500,000 average monthly visitors) so I knew I could take my books directly to the audience without using the traditional publishing channels. I believed and proved that the Internet gives creative people all the tools they need to realize their creations and share them — for free or for profit — online. Both of my books were massively successful, thanks entirely to my blog and the Long Tail effect. My next book, which I just finished last week, will be distributed and publicized in the same way.
This is much longer than the one paragraph I was asked to write, but context is everything, I believe, and as you can see, it would be impossible to give context and credentials in that small space.
On an entirely personal note: I love science, and work tirelessly to counter the pseudo- and anti-science that infects popular culture (and much of the current US government policy) today. I’m thrilled to be considered for Wired Science, because the opportunity to share the wonder of science and the impact of technology in our world with as wide an audience as possible is a dream come true.
It’s okay, I guess, and the best I could do when I was 34, written while choking on my pride and trying not to feel humiliated by being expected to tell these people who had kept me on the line for weeks exactly why I was so great.
I, of course, was not picked to host the show. I was offered a very small, barely-paid job as an occasional contributor, but that’s not the job I worked for, and it wasn’t the job I wanted. I passed on what felt to me like a consolation prize.
Wired and PBS cast my friend Chris Hardwick, who went on to be really, really good, and was an excellent choice. I remember watching some of Chris’s early shows, and wondering how I’d even been considered at all, because he was such a natural fit.
My life is so different now than it was back then, and I’m proud of all my hard work and my stubborn refusal to give up that got me here from there. When I found this document last night, my first instinct was to delete a painful memory, but I’m glad I kept it, because it’s part of the tapestry of my life.
All our experiences, good and bad, make us who we are today – I learned a little while ago now, to not worry about the things that have gone before, that we can’t change, just to work at making the future better.
I am in the last semester of school to obtain my bachelors degree. I have many papers saved to my laptop and was considering deleting them. I haven’t due to the fact I worked hard on each and every single one. I just recently subscribed to your blog and with each one, I have related my life to what you have written. This one even more so. Thank you.
Something about you posting such a reflective essay on my own 34th birthday today is inspirational. As I reflect on my own last 34 years and what I’ve done and who I’ve become and where I still hope to be in life, I’m reading the words of a successful and amazing individual who has overcome so much and gone so far. Despite every door that closes, one will open and what you find there will take you on new adventures and through new trials to bring you full circle in the end.
Anyways. . . thanks for all your awesome reflections and for sharing. I hope deep down you know how much you are valued by so many for everything you do and your constant determination.
Can’t agree more about the sentiment at the end. At times I look back and things I’ve done, things I’ve written and said, and choices I’ve made and I’m embarrassed. I have many regrets but ultimately I realized a little while ago that all those choices and experiences are what make me who I am today. Would I love to build a time machine (okay, these days, it’s traversing space-time using gravity and morse code) to go back in time (or, I guess use a hot tub) to tell my younger self to snap out of it? Sure. Would it work? Sure for that moment in time. But, then who would I end up being?
It’s unfortunate that it often takes years to discover this but then again, it’s fortunate that we live in the times we live in and you have at least that same amount of time if not more to enjoy the fruits of your painful labor.
I’m glad you (Wil) have found your groove to some extent. Nothing better than being able to do what you love and (ideally) be paid for it.
So you were a famous actor. Then you started writing when you couldn’t get enough acting work. You became famous for your writing, then people wanted you on camera again. Now, you’re on camera/stage/studio so much you barely have time to write anymore. What a wonderful, strange game life has been playing with you!
The essay was indeed a little dry, but in terms of your experience – if you didn’t get the job from that than I have no hope for the future at all…
You seem to have a few different moods/styles of writing, and its a pleasure to get to know them all over time as they pop up. this is an excellent example of my favorite wheaton flavor.
also, total TROLL for ignoring elephant in room – vi or emacs.
well played linux troll, well played =)
So….Did they make Chris write an essay also? Now that you are friends, have you compared notes?
They were friends then as well.
Excellent post.
Thanksgiving for every wrong move – Poi Dog Pondering
Thanks for sharing. I think we all need a reminder that from time to time we have to do things we don’t want, that outcomes aren’t what we want, and that in those moments we often grow and learn things about ourselves. (Yes, I know — cheesy psychobabble, but true).
🙂
I’m broken and i know this. But when i read your posts, i don’t feel so broken. I will not give up and I am glad u did not .. Sometimes i wish i were like them, but i am a geek and nerd. Is what it is; just took so long to realize it and be ok with me. i like u 🙂
Wow! Such an interesting essay, especially since it made my thoughts go in so many directions. A good thing for this editor and lifelong English teacher and person who loves computers, science and many things geeky. Also, as someone who’s still fairly new to your blog and writing style. And lastly, because it was such a well written piece by someone who had accomplished so much! You packed a lot of information in a short piece, including your reflections after not getting the job.
I really enjoy your blog. You keep me reading and amazed, WW. A good job!
Finally, a couple days last week I wanted to reply to posts but didn’t because although you spoke about feelings which drew concern, you summed up your resolve saying, “Depression doesn’t have me helps me get through it.” Glad to read your are indeed moving forward. Still…if it helps, besides your loved ones, people care about you and your well being.
Keep writing, Wil. You have real talent and reach into the heart of the matter and your reader.
I kept a journal in High School and I filled it with just weird thoughts and non-sequiturs. In a moment of anger or embarrassment after someone looked at it, I threw out the pages. I would pay a lot of money to get those pages back and even now I feel angry at my young self for stealing that little window into my high school me from myself.
Thank you Will, that’s really encouraging. The never give up attitude. Its amazing where you ended up at this point, the plan far different than what you originally planned, just better.:)
Oh by the way, the piece is fine. It doesn’t seem too long. It pulled me in, and I wanted to read more.:)
Hi Wil,
I also loved your most recent Nerdist podcast for its honesty and self-reflection.
I’ve never attempted to connect with heroes from my youth (I met Ken Dryden once, got all fan boy over his career with the Habs and he shrugged me off with a whatevs). Appreciate from afar but don’t make that connection.
However, the blog post above and the podcast prompted me to jot down a short note to thank you for doing the things you love and for letting us have a peek into a life of contentment.
Btw, if you’re ever in Toronto, I would love to sit down in a brew pub with you (Indie Ale House in the Junction – makes a wicked IPA called Cockpuncher. ’nuff said) and play a co-op board game. Space Hulk: Death Angel perhaps?
Eric
I now think you are really doing a deep clean. It’s a good thing. And that Chris is a friend, not Nemesis says a lot about you (as competitor in many projects, not just this one.) Much respect.
And we enjoy the tapestry when the threads come together. Your private life is a healthy thing, but the pattern is fascinating to some.
A fellow TI-99/4a user! I have fond memories of quite literally pressing record on a normal audio cassette player hooked up to the computer, and then telling it to save. Remember Munch-Man?
Wil – I’ve been reading your blog since 2004! This post today is so powerful and true, and so interesting. I love knowing the background of your tech life — I’ve been trying to piece it together for years now, and this post put it all in perspective. Thank you very much for sharing this. As usual, your writing is clear and powerful and makes the world seem better to me. I hope to catch you at Mysterious Galaxy if you ever come back to San Diego to do a reading. Cheers!
A wonderful, comprehensive, and frankly painful to read essay. Why painful? Because of everything going on behind it at the time! I sympathize. As a freelancer, I often have to “sell” myself more than once to potential clients–there’ll be a great meeting, followed by a big nothing, followed by dribs and drabs of emails, calls, etc. during which I’ll think, “Didn’t I already charm these guys?” Well, I guess not!
Given your extensive geek cred and bald-faced love of science, it’s too bad (for them) that you weren’t given a chance. But it’s nice of you to give credit where credit is due to a good friend and let it lie–others might not do the same. If all these trials are what made you come into your own as a writer, than we the masses are better for it. Thanks for not consigning that essay to hard drive heaven just yet, Wil.
http://jfilmlove.wordpress.com
You’ve done a man’s job, sir.
(hint, I’m implying that you are a replicant)
Isn’t finding old things like this interesting? They’re like time capsules, and spill out their contents in messy, uncontrolled tumbles of feelings and memories that are both bitter and sweet.
Thanks for sharing this with us, Wil. I happened upon your blog after a discussion about Star Trek Nemesis on the old Star Trek message boards a long time ago, and I’m glad I did. After all, what would I do without Non-Judgemental Ninja in my life? grin
Yes, the painful things are part of us and make us who we are, don’t they? Thanks for sharing that, and for the history of who you are for those who might not have known.
I hear you man. When I got my degree to be a school librarian I interviewed for what I thought was the perfect job for me. It was a a nerdy science/math high school. I just KNEW I should get the job. I didn’t get the job. I met the guy who did and, like you and Hardwick, I couldn’t imagine a better choice. I also couldn’t imagine a better choice for the place I did end up. I guess those interviewers sometimes know what they’re doing.
(It helps that I know someone who works there and it’s not the ideal job I once thought it was…)
I f’n love this post! Very insightful, literally. I myself and I think every human being alive gets those pangs of stubbornness. I am glad you hung in there, because that rich tapestry of tech/nerd life is much better with you as a part of it!
I wrote a longer reply, but then for some reason my draft went away. The point is this. You are on this week’s cover of “La Settemana Egnimistica”, a weekly Italian magazine devoted to crossword puzzles. Why? I did not buy the mag to find out. You may be pleased that God works in the strangest ways.
And yeah, I did not spell the penultimate word correctly. I got mouse and keyboard on high.
Nicely written essay, Wil. You have so many gifts, thanks for sharing…
I love that you referenced one of my favorite STNG episodes while sharing some untidy bits of your life.
I am and will always be an admirer of you Wil as an artist, actor, writer, tech guy, and just a stand up man. You’ve come a long way my friend, and it’s only going to get better. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. As always you sir are awesome!
You have been type cast and so stop whining and get on with your life.
Or more appropriately, sir: Stop trolling and get on with YOURS.