205 thoughts on “i’d love to change the world but i don’t know what to do”

1. Come to Metafilter. It’s better here.

   The people who chased you off last time aren’t active any longer.

   1. Let’s hope this generation of new parents is doing their best to teach their kids that there are people on the other side of that screen, just like they’re real people.

      We were full on into WoW when our son was a toddler. We had lengthy discussions about what is and what is NOT appropriate behavior. Now that he’s a newly formed teenager, we’ve let him know asshat behavior is NOT acceptable, he can only be on the computer in our full view, and his time is limited (so why waste it being a jerk.)

   2. I have my own theory about what’s happening but I wanted to second this first. (In fact, there’s been a bunch of discussions about how the general tone of the site has IMPROVED over time.)

2. You’re trying to be Lawful Good and that’s all that matters. 🙂 Although, I’ve long suspected today’s kids ARE just going to assume everything is 4chan (I’m in my 40s now and assume it, myself); I think it’s only going to get worse until we either A) hit the singularity, or B) destroy ourselves and crash and burn.

3. What makes you so sure it’s just the younguns? The dickwagons strike me as generationally diverse, unfortunately.

   1. Yup

   2. Teachers with a lot of pent-up rage from the school year are also finding themselves with a lot of free time. 🙂

4. Alright, everyone off Wil’s lawn.

5. I thought I was the only one noticing this. Common decency obviously isn’t being taught in schools, and the parents sure as hell aren’t keeping an eye on things. We need an internet revolution of kindness and tolerance…then maybe it would spread to the real world.

   1. I think that way over simplifies it, and it also undercuts the site administrators willingness to tolerate terrible behavior. And I think blaming the kids is a bit of an Internet meme, I can guarantee that kids aren’t posting over on the The Hill comment section, but that place is full if bile and garbage too.

   2. As someone who is a teacher, I can say, we spend a lot of time working on common decency. This goes double for our online activity. I’m not sure this is the case everywhere, but when I teach about our online lives, a big proportion is asking “would you say that in person to them?” It is a real problem I face with children not considering who is at the other end of their computer, but schools in my experience do take it seriously.

6. I’m seeing a little more here and there, but for my own mental health my motto is “curate, curate, curate.” I am not smart or strong enough to combat all of the aggression and thoughtlessness. I actively follow and encourage the kind, the brave, the giving. You and Anne are definitely of that ilk. If anything, the cruelty I see makes me double down on being somebody I’d look up to.

7. Try watching this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bVAoVlFYf0

   1. I enjoyed that

8. And we’re gearing up for another election (seems to be a constant thing these days) so there’s all that toxic stupidity. I don’t think it’s you, I think people are angry and frustrated and they have little outlet or skills to deal with it in a healthy, productive way. And I think we’re feeling crowded. Maybe more people means each person is devalued. Maybe we need to be reminded that we are not a commodity. I don’t know.

9. Sorry you’re feeling this way, Wil. I haven’t seen it in the G&S twitch chat or anywhere else I frequent (the YouTube comments being the worst, but not more so) but it’s definitely a noble goal for everyone to try to be better day to day and to help everyone else do the same.

   I hope you know the G&S audience and employees are some of the best online.

10. Or this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FLQ4rACE-0&list=RD0FLQ4rACE-0

11. Respectfully, the answer is just Yes.

    Everyone is worse. And everyone is more sensitive.

12. And here’s teh thing: it’s not just kids. rNearly every time I post something on Facebook about treating people like human beings, a dogpile of people with no empathy whatsoever come along and make me weep for humanity.

    Example: I x-posted a thing from Tumblr about a teacher who was in trouble for giving food to kids at her school who didn’t have money to pay for lunch. The school’s policy (which I find abhorrent) is to warn kids — because, you know, it’s their fault when they’re in elementary school — and then give them one slice of cheese between two white hamburger buns, with some milk. As their lunch.

    So set aside the humiliation these kids are going to feel, through no fault of their own, and think about the lack of nutrition they’re getting. Think about how that lack of nutrition prevents them from learning to their full potential. Consider that these ARE CHILDREN WHO ARE HUNGRY and the option was to just throw food away, instead of giving it to them, or give them this fucking cheese sandwich thing.

    Now consider that our politicians want us to take it as an article of unimpeachable faith that America is THE GREATEST COUNTRY ON EARTH FULL STOP DO NOT EVER QUESTION THAT.

    Okay. If that’s true, why do we, as a nation and a culture, decide that it is acceptable for children to be hungry and underfed in a public school that we, as a community fund, but it’s entirely acceptable to make sure billionaires keep as much of their money as possible? Where is the fucking empathy for the poorest children and their families?

    Every time this comes up, someone gets onto comments and goes on a rampage about Personal Responsibility. Some guy today went into full-on internet argument mode because this policy was supposed to SEND A MESSAGE TO THE PARENTS TO JUST STOP BEING POOR ALREADY AND BE MORE RESPONSIBLE.

    I wonder what that guy would do if he actually had to face one of these hungry children. Would he get down on one knee, look that child in the eye and say, “hey, this is about teaching your parents a lesson about personal responsibility. Deal with it.” Or would he actually, you know, have some fucking single shred of human compassion and decency, and give the child a regular lunch?

    That I don’t know the answer to this question — really, genuinely don’t know — makes me seriously ashamed of my country. There are tons of people in America who would let a child go hungry to make a point, and they’d feel really good about that.

    And those people are all over the Internet, setting examples for the future about what’s acceptable behavior and what it means to be American.

    …maybe this doesn’t make sense, and maybe I’ve constructed a fallacy I can’t see at the moment because I’m really goddamn emotional about all this stuff.

    But I feel like this enormous swath of our population has no sense of humanity and empathy, and that’s profoundly upsetting to me.

    1. You make some valid points, and I ultimately hope you are wrong. But I think these people have always been around. It’s best just ignore the bad influences, and just continue setting a good example. Because it’s worth it even if you help one person. Making an impact on one persons life in a positive way is worth dealing with a thousand assholes.I just hope the assholes don’t take over.

    2. The longer the internet exists, the easier it will be for those who didn’t previously have a pedestal to speak on to now have one. I think maybe it’s not always so much that we’re seeing people grow to become more irrational and heartless, they are just gaining more access to the internet. Now I know that the internet has been out for a while, so it won’t provide a huge answer to your findings, but I do believe in a sense that the internet has provided angry souls with a place to vent. And they’re venting on whoever is in the way.

    3. I’m with you on this. And it makes me genuinely terrified/worried/depressed/disappointed in the future of humanity. Not hyperbole.

    4. Since I’m not from america I’m not going to comment on the situation/politics or whatever, that’s just dumb coming from the outside not knowing enough. I’m just happy I’m from a country where no schoolchild would ever go hungry. Sure we complained about how the food tasted but at least it was free. Or, paid by taxes, but at least that way everyone could afford it.

       BUT what I mainly wanted to remind you of is that the Internet isn’t america, it’s bigger than that. (Yes, you who just coughed your drink over your keyboard, there is such a thing.) The Internet is a place for all the good people around the globe to come together and really make a change. It’s true that those people are all over the Internet showing what it means to be american, and that’s also the reason the rest of the world sometimes make jokes about how dumb you are. We also know, however, that it isn’t true. We’re not laughing at a majority, we’re talking about a few loudmouths. It’s just like in any group of people, be it religions or politics, it’s the fanatics that make the most noise.

    5. “Okay. If that’s true, why do we, as a nation and a culture, decide that it is acceptable for children to be hungry and underfed in a public school that we, as a community fund, but it’s entirely acceptable to make sure billionaires keep as much of their money as possible?”

       I recently had this discussion with someone on reddit*; where you no notice an influx in douchebaggery I’ve begun to notice more and more the idea of Americans only wanting to take care of themselves; personal responsibility as you call it. I don’t want to get politics involved here, but I do think certain political propaganda is plays a large part in that. I don’t have much to add to this other than I feel the same way, and it just sucks. However, if we can get to this point, we can also move past it. And I guess, if anything, that’s where we can all help, especially people with influence like you. Explain to people why we should care about not just ourselves or even our neighbouts, but about people halways across the state, country and world. Explain why empathy is a good thing for ourselves, others, the economy and everything in between. Help people understand the other side of the coin, and attempt to understand theirs as well. To get back to your original conundrum, that is why it’s worth the effort; to eventually get to a better point for everyone.

       *On the topic of empathy (as also outlined in Amanda’s blog post), the guy I was arguing with did explain his point of view and made some interesting points, should you find it interesting. http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/382m9e/bernie_sanders_calls_for_downward_transfer_of/crs2nn1?context=3

    6. I work with the population that is constantly being told to “stop being poor already”, they are hard working people trying their damnedest for their kids. That woman is a hero to every single kid not just because she gave them food but that act of kindness, of letting them sit down with their peers with a regular hot lunch not a crappy cheese sandwich, of returning to their classroom with better nutrition in their system and therefore better able to learn, it’s something that will stick with those kids.

       Hate is loud naturally and the Internet allows it to have a much bigger blow horn. Where as Kindness is quiet in my experience. It’s small acts not looking for attention. The exact opposite of hate. It’s harder to notice kindness, sweetness on this World Wide Web when vitriol is so intense. How many comments to the article about the woman who lost her job agreed with you? Those didn’t stay with you as much as the ones who showed no sense of compassion did, did they? I’m the same way. I’ll read comments to articles about Head Start, how it doesn’t work and I see red. I don’t remember the ones supporting the work we all do. I think not only is hate louder, lately we are just drawn to it more. Personally I’m trying to focus on being constructive, which doesn’t always mean positive but can still mean being kind. I’ll skip vitriol, it waste of time and harmful noise.

       Oh, and also assholes post/comment more. They have more time on their hands, as they’re unsocicable douches. (Admittedly that was not kind or constructive of me. The constructive thing is a work in progress)

    7. I think your absolutely right that it’s not about age and that it’s about the fact that it’s easier to be a dick to people when you don’t have to see the results. All you or I or anyone can do is try to set a good example of how to be a good person on this crazy series of tubes we call the internet. As someone whose job doesn’t really involve the internet it’s easier for me to disconnect when I need a break from the dickholery. But many people on here, including me, appreciate what you do. So, thank you.

    8. I’m Canadian, a country you folks down there seem to hail as some kind of socialist haven half the time, but due to differences in demographics, history, and politics, we don’t have school lunch programs, except when individual schools or school districts decide to implement one using volunteer help and grants. So this particular issue always sounds rather strange to me. That said, we also have more robust social assistance with fewer strings attached than in the US, so no one really assumes that if you don’t feed a kid in school they are going to be hungry all day, which I understand is the assumption behind the school lunch program–that it’s sort of a monitored, strings-attached, tightly controlled federal food-assistance-program/ag. lobby money-channeling scheme.

       All that aside–US politics is nasty, on all sides. Who is louder and nastier seems to depend a lot on who feels themselves to be the beleaguered minority of right-thinking folks. In groups, you all seem to be pretty unpleasant. Individually, face-to-face, I’ve found Americans of all political stripes to be kind, warmhearted, and generous (and I have some ground for saying that, having gone through a personal and financial crisis while living in the US and having been essentially lifted out of it through the aggregate kindness of friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and strangers on the internet.

       So when I’m discouraged by the poisonous atmosphere of open, unmoderated Internet society, I find the solution is to get offline for a while, remind myself that most of the world is not spending hours a day being a dick on the Internet because they are busy leading basically decent lives being basically decent people, and maybe restrict my online time to the smaller, moderated communities for a while.

    9. Yes. A million times yes.

    10. Wil,

        People always talk about how if they ever build a time machine, the first thing they’ll do is go back and kill Hitler. And, well, fair enough. Probably a good call there. But for their second trick, they might want to take a good, hard look at Horatio Alger.

        See, the logic of the people you’re talking about here actually isn’t hard to follow. They see it like this:

        In America, anyone who works hard can be successful.
        A bunch of people are poor.

        THEREFORE:

        Those people must be too lazy to work hard, so it’s their own faults they’re poor.

        The problem is, point 1 isn’t true and hasn’t been for a long time–if, indeed, it ever actually were. And yet it so profoundly influences our attitudes as Americans, that it’s bound up in our politics, our personae, even our relationships. If point 1 is The American Dream, then point 3 is The American Meme.

        There’s an overwhelming amount of evidence to show that, in the current state of things, working hard isn’t enough. We even have a phrase for it: the working poor. The very fact that we have a term for this phenomenon should tell people something. And yet it doesn’t: any attempt to try to show systemic flaws or–heaven forbid!–actually institute changes is shouted down, saying we’re just trying to justify laziness. Witness, for example, “Welfare Queens.”

        And it’s a seductive idea, when you get down to it. It places all the responsibility on someone else. It’s not my fault you’re poor, it’s your own. So I don’t have to worry about you anymore, or think about ways I could help you, or even acknowledge that you’re a real human being who’s suffering.

        I wish I knew what to do about it. I wish I had some upbeat way to end this (too-long) comment. Something about the way my mind works makes me always want to believe that if we can just find the root cause of an issue, we can fix it. But This particular meme is so big and so deeply ingrained that, aside from writing this, I don’t really know how else to fight it.

13. As one older man to a younger, it is mostly you. Today’s youth are no better or worse than our generation. We just get to experience more of it due to technology. The phenomenon you are experiencing is that your B.S. tank is full. You have been in the spotlight for so long that you have had way too much shit thrown your way, your family’s, and your friend’s. At some ponit, it gets jading (if that’s a word). I admire that you keep fighting it.

    1. Scott I have to disagree. I am not famous but I can see the lack of human kindness in kids and adults. It isn’t everyone but the few that have this lack more than make up for the ones that are kind. Hungry kids with people pointing fingers, online rants about nothing, a selfie stick that costs $20…..ok, that last one may be just me. In any case, all to often people are pointing fingers instead of offering solutions. Hungry kid? Feed them the food we paid for and are about to throw away. Online rant? Go to another web site or develop a community where the rant becomes a discussion. Selfie stick? Find a friend to take a picture.

       It seems easy but all to often doesn’t happen.

14. I’m a middle school teacher and I totally know what you mean. But I think it’s the cycles of kids that are influenced by different things. For instance, the graduating class of 8th graders at my school are, as a whole, really horrible to each other, to adults, to other students, to their families, etc. Sure there are some diamonds in the rough, but they’re a mean group in general. Then there’s the seventh grade class and boy did we pull out all the stops to work with those kids to learn to treat each other with respect. But then you have a class like my current sixth graders who are just the nicest, most compassionate class of kids. Sure, some of the boys and a few of the girls are mean/rude/insensitive, but as a whole, they have really good hearts.

    I think it’s just part of the differences between adults and kids. I remember being younger and the adults complained about how crazy the kids were getting and I hear myself doing the same a good bit (with neighborhood kids/teens).

15. So it’s a combination of the kids, the culture, the age. . . It will get better, but our world has a lot to be teaching about online behaviors. The kids, though, need to learn what is mean and what is nice. My kids received feedback on their Tabletop games (all appropriate feedback), but they wanted to report a guy who left feedback that wasn’t “nice.” It was telling them that they need to remember to spell properly and capitalize properly if they want people to read and appreciate their game. Sadly, it’s something that needs to be taught at home and schools can only do so much to help teach kids about how to behave online. Some of it they learn at home from parents and siblings. Some of it they learn from friends.

    Sorry. . . long writing. No real answer. We all just have to do our part to imbue the world with kindness, compassion, and education.

16. It’s not just you, because I’ve also noticed that the internet is a meaner, more vicious place nowadays. The most innocent remark can get you attacked and don’t even think about expressing your opinion unless you want to defend it to the death!

    I wish the internet was still that nice, friendly place it was when I first started (bulletin boards were awesome!), but times change. I try to follow Wheaton’s Law, but refuse to stay silent when the bullies show up and start pushing people around.

    Please keep trying to make the world a better place! It’s totally worth the effort, because the good guys need to win!

17. It’s not just online—it’s everywhere. I’m a 5th grade teacher and I’ve made it part of my curriculum to teach/model empathy, courtesy, and just plain good manners. None of those things are coming from home, so I try to at least introduce them. Kids don’t have to socialize face to face anymore and they lose those important opportunities to have to immediately face the consequences for their shitty actions.

18. Here’s my theory: There was once a website called “Television without Pity”. It was more or less a forum. One could go there, and troll, whine, bitch, and utterly rip “without pity” anything that appeared on television, later, that would expand, to movies, the internet, anything out in the culture. Then one day, this site was shut down. The archives are still there, but the forum is gone. This was two or three years ago. Nowadays I ask myself, “Why’d we shut down the zoo? Now these creatures are loose and running around the countryside.” If they only had a place to go…

19. Keep doing what you’re doing

    That sounds trite, I realise, but it’s true. As Pterry (or was it Douglas) said, cliches become cliches because of their inherent truth. Otherwise, they wouldn’t BE cliches. (I don’t have an angry Alt key on this keyboard and cba to look up the acute e)

    Anyway, you, me and a lot of other people keep living their lives as best they can and set examples for those behind us to follow. That’s all we can do.

    I’m all of one year younger than you (holy shit, I thought you were younger than ME, by quite a few years) and I don’t feel things have changed that much in day to day. Just
    that the internet realms we were accustomed to being “ours” have spread out to the wider population.

    10 years ago you’d get the occasional troll on whatever Usenet group, IRC channel or AOL chat room you frequented. Now, everyone and their mother (yes, including mine, which is a whole
    different kettle of catfish) knows what Reddit is. And how Facebook works. And how to wind people up.

    Did you ever play Quake 2 or Unreal Tournament? I don’t recall anything vindictive there. Because everyone knew each other. Now we’re in an age of anonymity. For better or for worse.

    Point is, it’s not a failing of society, it’s just A.N.Other channel. We’ll carve out other niches. You just watch 🙂

    Stay classy, stay positive, and keep being the role model that you, perhaps inadvertently, have become. It’s ALWAYS worth the effort.

20. This kind of reminds me of waaaaay back in the day when everyone was on AOL (yeah, that long ago). The day after Christmas, the rest of the regulars in our chat rooms would just sit there and cringe over the influx of complete asshats that would show up because they got a new computer for Christmas. They hadn’t learned how to behave yet and were The Worst. Over time, they figured it out, joined in and settled down.

    We can hope that each new generation of new asshats learns the same lesson. But they’re going to need people around who are good examples, not just a bunch of duplicates of themselves. I fear the bad examples may outweigh the good by now.

21. Then there’s this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSLPH9d-jsI&index=11&list=RD0FLQ4rACE-0 (Just found it tonight).

22. I read it and I think the fact that common sense doesn’t make this as obvious as it seemed when I read it is why helping that i am Scottish and like alcohol 🙂

23. For what it’s worth Will, my son is almost 19 and he says the same thing.
    I taught him not to be a colossal douche, and thankfully, 90% of the time he isn’t.
    As for the other 10%? Usually it is his “life has no grey, just black and white” way of seeing things (he has NLD) and that 10% is him pointing out others errors. (Semi-politely. Still working on when to let it go!)

24. Wil, it isn’t just you. My heart breaks regularly when I read the news, or internet comments. I am raising two young daughters and struggle to explain some of these injustices. My 7-year old defaults to kindness. It’s her nature. I fear for when the world crashes into her and crushes some of it. My little one? Well. She’s a toddler. So her behaviour reminds me of some commenters online, only she’s illiterate and lacks a diverse vocabulary. I sincerely hope my efforts result in another kind, considerate girl to throw to the wolves. Perhaps they will be a ripple? I sincerely hope so.

    Take heart, Wil. Not everyone is a dick, and plenty of us are trying to raise our kids to avoid being one.

25. You’re seeing a symptom of something that bodes well for some kids and very bad for other kids. The kids acting shitty on the internet are likely generally good kids just venting in a way they (wrongly) think is not going to harm anybody. Someday it will occur to these good people how wrong they were and they will attempt to atone. There are also genuinely shitty-acting kids doing it and it’s probably because they’re parents can’t or won’t spend enough time with them. I won’t give up on these kids but they are currently providing an example I can use to show my daughter what is right and wrong on the internet.

26. I think it’s kind of like flying…it used to be special, something that you looked forward to. People were polite and treated you with respect. Then somewhere along the line it became..I don’t know…pedestrian. Like riding a bus. The Internet has become so ubiquitous as to become something you take for granted, like its a right and you can do whatever you want because there are no consequences. I think it has something to do with the entitlement attitude of the new generation. I hope things change as these new folks mature. Perhaps it’s just the natural progression of things that every generation goes through. In any case I long for the day when civility and kindness come back into style.

27. This really sums up my feelings regarding my time on the Internet in the past year. I used to really enjoy fandoms and various social media sites, but the experiences I have there now exhaust me rather than energize me.

28. You see a lot on-line that I don’t see and because I am still relatively new to social media I am not able to see how or if it has changed over time. But I trust your insight and do not doubt the truth of what you say. I live in Wisconsin, and all I can say with certainty is life in general and civil discourse in particular has taken a really ugly turn here over the last four or five years. And it is getting worse, not better. It’s not the kids on the internet that are to blame. And it’s not because you are older and starting to feel a little tired.

    Don’t lose heart, Wil. The battle can still be won. Just keep telling everyone, “don’t be a dick.” And make some more good art…

29. My heart is broken that we are so horrible to each other. But there are two things I try to remember:

    1) All the easy problems are solved. The ones we have left are complex, with almost infinite causes that require multi-faceted solutions.

    2) Though people now can be awful to all other people, we’ve been a mean, vindictive, destructive species forever. Remember the Christians eaten by lions for sport, the slaves beaten by masters, the Jews killed for being born their race, homosexuals imprisoned and chemically castrated, women beaten for daring to think, and all the generations of fat, buck-toothed, cross-eyed, curly-haired, short, lanky, WHATEVER, middle school kids tortured throughout the halls of time and school space.

    We should be more evolved by now. Why aren’t we? Idiocracy.

30. Between the Spammers, Dickwagons, and the self righteous, I am seriously getting a bit over the internet.. You can’t post anything without someone getting out the commando keyboard and going you stole my child stallone on your post. I think there needs to be some sort of pause.. would you want people in your real world to see you write this, would you rather delete and have a cookie? Option pop up… I thought it was just me who felt this way, I am relieved I am not the only old codger fist waving get off my lawn kinda person out here.

31. You’re not wrong Wil, there’s definitely something different, and it’s not just with the internet. I work with children and there’s been a swift and disturbing decline in empathy and caring in the past couple of years. Many of today’s youth don’t need to hide behind social media to spread their anger and hatred, they do it openly and without fear or concern. There’s a growing generation out there feels entitled to say whatever they want to say no matter who it hurts or how ugly it is. Contribute this in part to the boom in social media, but this also must fall in the lap of absentee parenting. This generation is dangerously full of young people without the basic social skills that those of us over 35 were raised on. I know I’ll get flack for that, but who cares. I’m proud of that legacy. Thankfully, not all children are like this, but we can say that this country is in crisis.

32. MeFi really is better.

33. I leave with one of my favorite quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer…

    Giles: Xander’s taken to teasing the less fortunate?
    Buffy: Uh-huh.
    Giles: And, uh, there’s a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
    Buffy: Yes.
    Giles: And, well, otherwise, all his spare time’s spent lounging about with imbeciles?
    Buffy: It’s bad, isn’t it?
    Giles: It’s devastating. He’s turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course, you’ll have to kill him.

    It’ll get better. We’ve kind of proven that as we get smarter as a species, we become more empathetic. But unfortunately that’s a trait we tend to learn later in life. It’s called “growing up”. It happens to everybody. Well, mostly.

    You’re doing good work, Mr. Wheaton. Never forget that.

34. I don’t think it’s the fact that there are more assholes online, but that the assholes are louder and speak up more often. The rest of us are being so polite doing our own thing that you don’t notice us. Kind of like all the rightwing nutjobs are a minority but you wouldn’t know it because they scream loud enough to drown out the majority.

35. I don’t think the attitudes are new in the slightest, but they seem to be appearing in more and more places where I hadn’t noticed them before. I really don’t know if it’s a general change in the culture of the internet or it’s me being a bit more aware of some of the things that might have always been there that I just didn’t pay as much attention to in years past, but seeing other people making the same observations (especially people who aren’t in a similar situation as me) makes me think there is at least some sort of change going on. As to whether the change is our awareness of the situation or the internet culture at large, I think it’s a bit of both. The social media sites that you’ve been talking about have been getting bigger as time passes, but there are definitely some smaller communities out there which still seem very nice, and it might just be that these attitudes just appear more often as a function of size.

36. I’ve had the exact same thoughts a lot lately.

37. It’s certainly easier to be a dickwagon when you don’t have to look others in the eye… Even I find myself more apt to inadvertently make snarky or somewhat inflammatory remarks at work by email then in face to face meetings. It takes a certain amount of forethought to avoid it, which I’m pretty sure I didn’t have as a kid. Penny arcade has taught us what Normal person +Internet + Audience equates to… It’s a trend that will take work to buck.

38. It’s not just you. I teach first-yeast college English and they even troll their University-administered student evaluations now that those are online.

39. Will, did they not assign you Lord of the Flies in school?
    Seriously, however, this is to be expected of young people, especially adolescents, due to the fact that they have adult hormones and yet their brains are still in the developmental stages. Most of them are going to do and say things that they regret, like I and my classmates did – we just didn’t have the opportunity to post them online like youth now do.
    The good thing about these kids is their passion and desire to try new things, bring new changes to our world. I’ve seen the toughest, most hard-edged kids become so compassionate in trying to help each other out. Youth need our experience and emotional stability, but we need their energy, passion, and creativity. We all need to make sure we are there to help each other out.

40. Sometimes when I feel like that, it helps me to remember that every generation thinks this of the younger generation. (A professor of mine told me that Ancient Egyptian letters have survived where people complained about kids being terrible and things not being as good as they used to be in the old days. I don’t doubt it!)

    Maybe it’s not that kids are getting worse. Maybe it’s that we are adults now, and we’ve matured to the point where we recognize childish behavior as destructive, whereas when we were younger we ourselves might have not understood the toxic effect that negative words and actions can have. Maybe being astonished at others’ lack of empathy is a good thing, because it means we are growing in our own comprehension of the importance of kindess.

    As the younger generation also grows up, surely many of them will have the same realization. People don’t stay teenagers forever, thank goodness.

41. I think summer vacation may definitely play into this. I kind of think of it like this: the kids who would typically take out their rage, frustration or even sadness on other kids at school now have to find and use a new outlet. Outside of that, confirmation bias might play a role as you are now actively “looking for” examples of behaviour you perceive as unpleasant.

    Speculation on the cause aside though, and to answer your question: Yes. It’s always worth it. You can’t expect to go to [N]chan and turn it into an LGBTQ/ nerd safe haven, but that’s not representative of society (or an entire generation for that matter) anymore than the WBC is for Christianity, ISIL for Islam or that one cranky neighbour for all senior citizens. I’m pretty sure you know that though. 😉 Just consider this a friendly reminder. =) Keep faith Wil, we’re not all bad!

42. You’re not alone. I am 27 now which means I’ve been spending my days online since the days of the 56k modem (got to love that sound) when I was about 7 and I find myself doubting humanity every day. I spend some time each day playing games online and I have yet to see the day I don’t get called a retard, or someone wishes cancer on me, or my family. There are days I simply can’t play since I’m battling a severe depression and it just wouldn’t be healthy for me to take that kind of shit being thrown in my face, and still I can’t help but feel sorry for these people because they can’t seem to understand there’s a human being on the other side that they’re talking to.

    I don’t think it’s gotten worse lately (as in the past couple of months) but I don’t think it’s you getting old either. Or at least I don’t think that’s the case for me. If it’s anything the same I’d say your filter is just getting clogged up and you’re getting sick and tired of it all.

    I don’t think all the dicks out there are kids either. Many older people feel bold about the fact that they can be anonymous and say what they want, get it all out there, without any repercussions. I have faith that things will get better. One of the things that made me think this way the first time was hearing you in an interview telling the story about how you had a talk with your son about him “raping that guy” in a game. My reaction was yes, this is what we have to do. Those of us that live the internet have to teach the ones coming after us how to behave in an online environment, and to make them realize that whatever profile picture you might be staring at odds are that there is a sensitive human being on the other side.

    Stick with us, there are still a couple of pretty decent people out here. Keep doing what you are already doing, create stuff, give talks, whatever so that we can take part. You are a smart and sensible person and you are changing the world for someone watching you on youtube as we speak.

43. I feel like, when I was a kid in the 80s with my 1200 baud modem on my Amiga, I used to dream of the kind of online world we have now.

    But when I look and see what it is becoming, now that it’s real, it makes me sad. Not angry, really, just sad and disillusioned.

44. It’s not just the kids. Adults can be douchebags either. But yeah… the bullshit seems to increase during the vacations.

    But I don’t think that this is a proper average of the youngs this time. You just recognize those who screams loudest and they appear like a huge crowd.
    The anonymity makes is easier to act like an asshole. Here they can be as “cool” as the rowdies on the schoolyard.

    I have now idea how to change them. Guess that’s not possible if they are not related to us. But we can change us and how we handle them. In my case, I treat everyone as I would be treated. People who just wanna bully someone get a nice play on my blocklists. I don’t try to argue

45. I always try to remember that when someone acts out so horribly and cruel, whether online or in person, it is almost always because of some pain or difficulty they are going through, and they are to be empathized with rather then hated or discarded as worthless for their attitude. The world is not as bleak as we often believe and if we try to see the best in others we can start to realize that.

46. Every day in my classroom is a struggle with empathy and a general “just be cause you’re 5 doesn’t mean you get to be a little jerk” discussion probably happens every 15 minutes or so (in a G-rated, ‘preschool toys are present’ context, of course.)

    I think as a whole, when we lose accountability for the things we say online, we let our flags wave with all the bitchiness, judgment and bigotry we can muster (I am guilty of this as much as everyone else.) I think we face divisive issues and we don’t really hear from anyone in the middle, ever. You’re either on this side or that side and you have to be as loud as you possibly can! In addition, I think when we face these divisive issues (no matter what they may be) we get tired of hearing and reading the same reasoning and arguments over and over again. That has to be hard to deal with – I know from me I end up having an intense over-reaction sometimes just out of sheer frustration of hearing the same things over and over.

    I know, I for one, as someone who has worked with children, animals, and the environment, it is difficult for me to even discuss these subjects because I have my opinion set on so many things. It is hard for me to absorb anything anyone else says that hasn’t worked “on the inside.” That in and of itself is another issue I see commonly occurring online. A bunch of outsiders having an opinion about something they really know nothing about, nor have any experience with. Yet, their opinion still needs to be heard, I guess? I dunno.

    As for children/youth and empathy, I think the biggest issue we face is not teaching our children these things, but leading by example. So many of my students make opinions and try to have conversations which (I know) are waaay over their head, OR they are put in a situation where they have to deal with someone/something they know their parents have a negative opinion about. These kids have no idea how to keep quiet and not just go about spouting off and repeating the things they hear at home. This isn’t the fault of the child imo, it’s the parents not really watching what they say and THEIR process surrounding empathetic opinions that are well thought out, researched, and offered with a sense of humbleness and humility. Children are products of parenting, no matter how you look at it. They model after what they see, and if the people they are modeling after are not checking themselves, we end up with a huge mess on our hands.

    See, there I go again, forming an opinion when I don’t have children of my own. Though I hope being a teacher gives me some sort of worthwhile backing 🙂

47. Unfortunately I think you are right Will. And it doesn’t seem to be just the kids. I think the more we stare at the phones and computer screens, the more detached we become from our basic humanity.
    It is a sad situation to be in.
    It seems like the more connected we get, the closer we get to a self afflicted dystopian future.

48. Unfortunately I believe the internet itself is partly to blame. I’m not making excuses for bad behavior because some people really inspire a pat on the head….. with a hammer. It’s just that net communication can sometimes remove itself from the acceptable social manners. There is no accountability for rudeness. What recourse is there for someone being hateful and toxic online? When repercussions are removed, some angry people, who might repress a distasteful remark in person, can let go in chat rooms or websites, without fear of punishment. It’s extraordinarily frustrating – especially for someone who weighs her words, and tries very hard to be diplomatic and open minded.

    One factor that may influence the younger set is their inherent tendency to be rebellious and carve their own way. In many cases, that is not necessarily a negative trait, unless they have not had ANY good training through life. But the internet is the playground for unsupervised bullies to test their power at a young age, and some take advantage of that opportunity. I really believe that discipline is sadly lacking in many homes. My daughter is a pre-school teacher and it is obvious to her when parents invest a considerable amount of time in teaching their children right from wrong, and good manners. And to make things even more difficult California has recently imposed an instructional change which dictates that “time outs” are no longer an acceptable form of punishment. Corporal punishment was abolished a long time ago, thank goodness, but the occasional sit-on-a-bench-out-of-the-play-area was an effective tool for calming behavioral outbursts. Now what can the teachers do?? Kids actually crave boundaries and consistency, but without ANY penalties for inappropriate actions, the children soon discover running amok is possible. Is it getting worse?? I’m afraid so. Sorry I’m not being more positive and encouraging.

49. I really enjoy your posts. I struggle with depression and your frankness about your struggle has been remarkably helpful and well timed on more than one occasion.

    I relentlessly block people once they prove that they aren’t someone I need to have a conversation with. I wish the social media platforms had some metric that a person built up after x number of people had blocked them and then I could set a filter that said “don’t show me posts from people blocked 10 times or more.”

    They would create new accounts and work around it but it might leave us a less fireant free spot for our picnic… Because the picnic had value. It’s sustaining and uplifting and sometimes it just makes your brain work and learn new things.

    Thanks for wading through the poop to keep communicating. It is appreciated.

50. I’m a few years older than you (good lord, when did I turn into Stevie Nicks?!) and I was just thinking some of the same things. Not only online but in real life. Even people I’ve “known” for years have turned. Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t always agree with your politics but I like the way you present your thoughts. I always think more about a point of view that’s presented more thoughtfully without the bile spew. And you have the best group of commenters, too–at least here on your blog. I get disheartened a lot. And consequently I spend a lot less time on the internet now, even though I have a lot more time to do it now. As someone above said, keep the faith. Surely we aren’t going to hell yet. We haven’t received our handbaskets.

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