in which i am terribly sick for the first time in years

I once played a great game of Microscope with some friends, where we were telling the story of a colony that arrived in a foreign place, tried its best to establish itself, but was ultimately destroyed by a native species. Some of the rules were that it existed in a liquid state, we had no high technology, and that we didn’t know where we came from, just that we needed to survive. When the entire thing was over, we looked at what we created, and realized that we had told the story of a bacterial infection that had found itself in a body, and the body’s immune system eventually fought it off. It turns out that I’ve been reliving this story inside my own body since Sunday.

About two weeks ago, I proudly told a friend of mine, “since I had H1N1 a few years ago, I just don’t get sick anymore. I guess my immune system is a golden god.”

Tuesday night, my immune system decided to take my hubris down a little bit. I started having aches in my elbows, hips, and knuckles in the early afternoon. Shortly after dinner, I was shivering and sweating, and my entire body hurt. By the middle of the night, I woke up in sheets that were completely soaked through. My body was covered in sweat, and my hair felt like I’d just climbed out of a swimming pool. My stomach and entire GI system hurt, and oh my god the aches in my muscles.

It was official: I was sick. I was, like, intensely sick. I was as sick as I’d been in years, and my poor wife had to wake up in the middle of the night and take care of me, like I was 5 years-old.

In the morning yesterday, while I struggled to sleep, Anne called my manager and assistant, and asked them to cancel my day — including @midnight, which was a real bummer — and then she made me a doctor’s appointment.

When we got to the doctor, I described all of my symptoms, and how long I’d been having them (I didn’t realize it until I said it out loud, but I’ve, uh, been shitting like a goose since Sunday morning). He told me that it could be a long list of ailments, and that we’d probably never know precisely which one it was, but he suspected that I got some weird bacteria from eating shell fish on Saturday, and it went Battle of Helms Deep on my body (not his exact words). So I’m on some antibiotics, and taking acetaminophen to keep the fever down, along with some anti-nausea medication to help me keep down food.

Anne got me what I realized is the standard “I’m sick and this is all I want” kit from the store: chicken soup, green Gatorade, and apple sauce. So far, I’ve been able to hold it down, and I think my fever may have broken overnight. I’m still sore, and my body feels wrecked, but my doctor told me that I should steadily feel better over the next few days, and that yesterday was the worst of it.

So I’m hoping that I can just rest and stay hydrated and help my body fight off whatever is trying to ruin my day, and maybe I’ll watch a bunch of Adventure Time or something.

83 thoughts on “in which i am terribly sick for the first time in years”

Ah, the beginning of every epic downfall, the ‘golden god’ statement! Silly you.

Rest, relax, and recover. Everything else can wait for a bit.

Wil says:

4 June, 2015 at 1:41 pm

Well, after my immune system and I sang an Elton John song together, things started to improve.
1. Vorp says:
  
  4 June, 2015 at 10:30 pm
  
  Who knew ‘Crocodile Rock’ had such healing properties!

What was that “thing” you ate the other day that brought tears to your eyes? …..I’m just sayin’….

Get well soon, Wil!

I think the best description of GI sickness I have ever read was a Penny Arcade blog post: http://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2014/01/01/last-night
Highlight: “I crawled into bed and half expected the police to show up. What I had done in there was a crime.”

The pesky wonders of biology. It is not nearly so disappointing as those to fall victim to those pesky laws of physics….and not as funny as those who have their own personal jello wrestling matches with the laws of grammar, but nevertheless at least as debilitating.

Wowzers. Sounds a lot like the campylobacter infection I was invaded with four years ago. It landed me in the ICU for a week (other complications resulted in me going septic).
Green Gatorade good… blue better. Get well.

To help your gut heal you may want to buy some high quality probiotics at the health food store to take once you’ve finished the course of antibiotics, or take them during but take them the furthest length of time away from your antibiotics. So if you take the antiobiotics in the morning take the probiotics at night. It should help to get your gut flora back to normal.

I hope you feel better. Blessings to u

I don’t know if anyone else has mentioned, but magnesium supplements help with the body aches.

Maybe you should see your Space Mom! `;-|

I’m so sorry you are so miserable, and I really feel for you. I was sick last week for the first time in a couple of years, too, but I only had Con Crud ™. On the plus side, I had very little appetite and what I did eat stayed down. On the minus side, I will have the cough for at least a couple weeks.

Get better soon!

Dude, I can’t even believe you were able to find the energy to write this!

I did wonder why you weren’t on @midnight this week. Sorry to hear it’s due to you feeling craptacular and not me forgetting when you said you’d be on.

Hope you feel better soon.

Try Red Cream Soda and Jube-Jubes instead…

Soft kitty is for when you’re sick. http://youtu.be/AFIR_x1LPf4
But seriously, that sucks. I got knocked on my ass by something like that about a couple months ago or so. I didn’t know people were able to poo liquid 25 times in12 hours and not die. And I had the added stress of still breastfeeding. Weaning, but still… anyway, you don’t need the details. FEEL BETTER.