71 thoughts on “the unbearable lightness of sleeping”

1. I’ve found that listening to audio books or radio dramas helps to keep my mind from wandering when I’m trying to sleep. If I’m lucky I fall asleep within a chapter. Hard part is finding where you left off the next day. Got quite a bit of good entertainment AND good sleep when Homeland showed up on a Humble Bundle. Great reading by the way! I use cheap earphones that fall out once I fall asleep and roll over once, but I’m sure there are better ways. Only bad part is waking up in the middle of the night and getting spoilers.

   1. I agree with Aaron, it helps direct my brain and keeps whatever tasmanian thought-devil from tearing around in there until long after I have conked out, even after breaking ribs it worked. I hope maybe this will work for you.

2. My daughter has a similar sleep schedule. Of course, with college it often get messed up around finals and when major papers are due. She just recently reset her schedule similar by slowly stating up later until she circled back around.

3. There is a lot of suggestion that back lit devices also screw up our sleep patterns. If your kindle is not the epaper version, you may want to consider switching to a non-back lit device for reading. It takes a while, but I’ve found that no TV or phone/tablet like things an hour before bed has made a huge difference in my sleeping patterns as I, too, am a night owl, but my boss is not.

4. That restless leg thing is the WORST. Sometimes high doses of magnesium help stop mine. Someone once recommended jumping up and down ten times, and it works, but too much of me bounces around too much for it to appeal in the watches of the night.

5. When I can’t sleep I leave the TV on with a very low volume. Or I put music that I like and I imagine myself performing those songs on stage. It works 95% of the time.

6. I sleep poorly on a regular basis, it is just part of my Vata nature. Good luck in your adventures with changing your sleep pattern.

7. I hate sleep. Really. The fact that the human body requires itself to be completely dormant and unresponsive for eight hours is I think one of our greatest design flaws ever. That and we need detachable arms, but that’s another story. Resting is great, lounging is awesome, but let me be awake to enjoy it.

8. There are all sorts of studies now saying that lights from Kindles and cell phones make our brain think it’s daytime and slow the production of melatonin. I’ve read that you should stop looking at those devices at least an hour before you go to bed. =)

9. Heavy warm purry kitty works every time for me 🙂

10. Thanks for this. It’s the story of my life. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve just grown to accept that I live on a 36 hour schedule. 24 hours awake – 12 asleep. When I try to change it, you know, to exist with the rest of the world, I go through the twitches and itches and mind rushes. I’m learning to quit fighting it. <3 <3 <3

11. When I have a difficult time going to sleep, I pull up my favorite episode of Psych on my iPad (American Duos) and listen to it (screen face down). Listening to it gives my mind something familiar and happy to occupy my mind and I can fall asleep, usually within just a few minutes.

12. Sleep problems are the WORST! When my son was an infant, until he started sleeping 6 or more hours at a time, I nearly constantly thought that I was being tortured. “No wonder they use sleep deprivation in torture!” I used to think. Now that I’m older I’m running into more sleep problems I’ve ever had before. Sigh.

13. A snuggly cat is the best possible sleep aid! That and a snuggly significant other.

    Sleep cycles are a bitch. I’ve been trying to find one that works for my work schedule, but since every day is different I might need to be at work at 8AM, or 6AM, or 5AM, or 6PM, or 3PM all in the same week, so there seems to be no set time I can sleep and still be refreshed when I wake up. So I take naps. I resented them as a kid, but they’re a lifesaver now.

14. I know exactly what you are dealing with Wil. I sometimes have such bad insomnia that is makes me want to cry, sometimes I do. You are trying and I know you like all of us dealing with our mental illnesses know that trying is half the battle. It will get better. I have to believe that for you so that I can believe that for me.

15. I knit. When I have trouble sleeping, I pull out a really BORING project and knit on that until I feel ready to try sleeping again. Usually my brain will run around in circles for a while, and I just let it, and eventually it settles down into the boring knitting and everything relaxes.

    I’m guessing you don’t knit (but you could learn!), but maybe doing something tedious with your hands that doesn’t engage much of your brain? (Actually, probably BEJEWELED fits that.)

16. Something that helped me out was setting a caffeine cut-off time. So the latest I drink caffeine, for days when I’m not working at night, is 14:00. It helps me manage falling asleep by midnight.

17. My solution for Fizzy Brain is to imagine myself at the top of a beautiful, wide, graceful, curvy staircase, whose bottom I cannot see, but not in a scary-this-is-too-high way.

    In my head I say, slowly, Ten Thousand. And I take a step down. Then I say Nine Thousand Nine Hundred Ninety Nine. And take another step. And then I keep counting backwards.

    If it’s not enough to shut out the fizziness, I count backwards by threes.

    A hypnotist came in to speak to a psych class I took said that this kind of visualization and counting keeps the brain busy. Counting backwards eliminates the tension that is caused by counting UP and starting at 10K means you probably won’t ever reach the bottom and eliminates that anxiety.

18. +1 on the audio books for me. It lets me relax in the dark and just wait for the brain to not understand what is being read to it anymore. 😉
    I’ve wanted to try out polyphasic sleep for some time, but sadly don’t have the life for it. Imagine living off of only a couple hours worth of naps every day! ‘twould be awesome… sigh

19. I know you’re blogging and not looking for advice, and I know you are learned in the art of sleep hygiene. I’ve had the same problems and have taken the same meds you’re on (I’ve taken them all. Twice. Getting my medical MJ card on the advice of my Veteran’s Administration psychiatrist)

    Turn off all your devices an hour before bed. Walk your dogs; this will help with the leg thing. Take a hot shower or bath and eat a little dairy. I like the little Baby Bel things. Put on some ambient music (I use the Liquid Mind station on Pandora). Sit and do your belly breathing for a couple minutes. Then, get in bed and sleep. It won’t happen right away, but this routine will start to signal your body that it’s time for bed and eventually you will achieve your goal.

20. I have the exact same issue, and the exact same concerns (I live in the middle of the desert).

    Ditto the other comments about watching a backlit screen before sleeping – not the best thing. But reading a real book is great for sleep. Also change out your light bulbs for bulbs with warm light instead of blue light; blue light tells your brain it’s day time and keeps you awake.

    But even with all the right light and etc. I find that whether or not I sleep easily depends alot on what I do during the day. When I spend alot of time doing creating work during the day (generating ideas, designing, etc.) I can’t sleep – not only does my brain not want to stop, it wakes up and gets active around 10pm. But when I spend alot of time doing analytical work (spreadsheets, algorithms, etc.) then I usually fall asleep quickly – my brain is tired.

    Of course I do my best creative work late at night (research shows we’re more creative when our analytical brain is tired), so sometimes I just say what the heck and go with the creative flow (and pay for it the next day).

21. I have trouble sleeping as well. I’ve found that ritualized before bed habits help my body know it’s time to sleep, even if I’m not sleepy. Before bed I stretch, take my medication accompanied by a full glass of water, put in my night guard (I grind my teeth), turn off the lights and climb into bed. By the time I climb into bed, my body knows it’s bedtime and I usually fall asleep fairly quickly. Also, I don’t enter my bedroom until I am ready to sleep. No tv, books, electronics, or other distractions allowed. My phone’s block mode is on and it sits on my nightstand as far from the bed as possible. I don’t touch or look at it until the next morning (I have the alarm set but my pooch usually wakes me up 30 minutes early). When I do have trouble sleeping, it’s usually because I’ve broken my rules or rituals. Hope this helps and you have better success changing your sleep schedule.

22. wil – I am a dialysis patient, and one of the side effects is ‘restless leg syndrome’ I talked to my doctors, and they prescribed a medication called Ropinirole. It works really well at stopping those spasms.

23. It’s funny ’cause I just finished recently the Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera :)))) and I also have some sleeping problems recently- I keep waking up at strange hours….and this seems much harder to fix than going to sleep…so be positive and use audiobooks! (a very good suggestion) 🙂

24. Sleeping on a different schedule than what your body wants is awful. But I am another vote for the audiobooks. Though to avoid missing something, I tend to listen to books I’ve already read (and liked) so that I already know the story and won’t worry if I fall asleep and miss something.

25. I worked nights for fifteen winters (seasonal job), and one thing I learned during those years was how much insomnia absolutely SUCKS when I’m not being paid for it! I can relate, Wil. Hang in there, I’ll keep you in my prayers.

26. I work nights. I live in a daywalker world. Oh, I so hear you.

    I just got up at 2 PM, after falling asleep at 5 AM. I’m off today, and I have things to do, but it’s well over 100F here, too, by now, so outside things are right out. But stores are still open, so off I pop. At least I got a good chunk of slumber last night for the first time in a while. I’ll take it. Even if I really needed to reset a bit this week, too. Sigh.

27. Are you getting some good exercise in every day? I found that I sleep like a rock when I’m committed to a solid exercise regiment.

28. Imbibe! is a great read. I bought some bottles and worked my way through it over the course of six months or so. (you could easily spend a month on Daisies, if you try all the versions with different base spirits then throw in a variety of liqueurs as flavorings -for me, gin daisies were a revelation) It was a very enlightening experience. There’s nothing like actually tasting the cocktails, if you can, I suggest you try this -not just the recipes that you think you’ll like.

29. I have a similar natural sleep schedule. I’ve tried many times to get on a normal human cycle, but it always devolves within 2 weeks. I like to listen to podcasts that I’ve already listened to while awake, so that they are interesting but not engaging my brain. Sometimes nothing works and I get up and do something boring like laundry until my brain gives in. Good luck, and cat purrs are so soothing.

    You’ve probably seen this already, but it’s a day in the life of famous creatives: podio.com/site/creative-routines

30. I got to sleep the 2-10 schedule a couple of summers. Some days I’d set the alarm and get up around 6 to walk the dog or do yard work, shower, and go back to bed. Worked out great, except I discovered TV after midnight really sucks, at least on the channels I get (no high-speed internet then).

31. On nights that I have a really hard time falling asleep I put on the headphones and plug in Roger Zelazney’s Merlin of Amber cycle. I know the storyline well enough so that it doesn’t demand my attention. And I find the reader’s voice strangely soothing.

32. I can’t say i know how you feel. I go into full REM sleep. My cycles have been off since i woke three years ago. But i feel you sir .. I wake mostly at 2am to 3am .. 4 hours is all i get. lol /blessings to you and i do hope u get some brain rest .. truly <3

33. I know the struggle! I have severe Delayed Phase Sleep Disorder, which means I have no choice in going to sleep somewhere between 2am to 10am, depending on the time of year and other issues. (Currently sitting at 3:30-4am.)
    I’m really glad you’re having more luck with pushing back your clock than I am! I’ve tried just about every med and therapy under the sun, and mine is just too stubborn to respond to any of it. (That and I also have narcolepsy, so getting too little sleep or pulling all nighters is not an option- at least if I don’t want to bust my head open, falling asleep mid-walk.)

    Wouldn’t be so bad if the world wasn’t built around day walkers, eh? 😛 More scientists now think that night owls like you and me have different circadian rhythms because it’s genetic. Since at some point our ancestors had to have people alert for night watch, to keep everyone else safe from night predators, ect. Theoretically that trait was passed down to insure there would always be someone to keep an eye out at night, and keep the rest of the tribe safe. Pretty interesting stuff!

    I just wish that in today’s society that there could more of a world where night owls could flourish- instead of having to sacrifice quality of sleep, and therefore short and long term health, to try and be “normal”.

    Either way, sorry about your rough night! I hope you sleep well tonight 🙂

34. There are two sources for me:

    1) baseball (radio or TV) – something about the commentators’ voices I suppose.

    2) a good lecture. I particularly like Open Yale. I have watched at least 7 courses ranging from Ancient Greek History to the Hebrew Bible. I usually need a few nights to get through one lecture since I fall asleep about 15 min in.

    If Lemon Balm extract won’t interfere with your medication, it is a natural remedy as well.

    Take it easy.

35. Left you this on Goodreads but will put it here too.

    I differ on the ‘no electronic devices’ as for me, reading myself to sleep works a charm, and having a kindle I can prop on a fold in my blankets lets me read till I’m gone. But Wills Mileage May Vary. There’s various solutions, but it’s like building your own personal Sleep Cocktail.

    Try herbal teas (chamomile or catnip or dare I suggest poppy flower. I didn’t say that. I was never here), silk jammies, earplugs, a large fuzzy cat on your feet, reading, ambient music (love streaming Hearts Of Spaces’ site), and every other suggestion. Mix and match the various tools and build your own Sleep Toolbox. Yours won’t look like anyone elses. Wishing you some great sleep in your future!

36. I have had sleep issues for years. Ranging from days without sleep (years ago) to late/early a.m. nights. I’m lucky that I have a regular 9-5 now, so even when I have a hard time falling asleep, I am required to get up at a set time (5:30 am). On nights when it is really bad I play timed word games and drink chamomile or Sleepytime tea. The timed game wears my brain out from its obsessive think-about-this-thing-right-now nonsense while the tea relaxes me. This works 99.9% of the time. My Dr. says if in a half hour after lying down you haven’t fallen asleep get up and do your sleep “helpers.”

    Sorry you are having some rough nights. Seems many of us can relate. Hopefully you get a goodnights rest tonight.

37. Everyone has different tricks that do and don’t work for them, but one thing I’d like to recommend is the book “Night School” by Richard Wiseman. Evidence/science based book on the science of sleep and how to get a good night.

    I’ve been listening to the audiobook occasionally in my car and it’s been fascinating. I’ve identified so many changes being discussed in the book that I just blindly stumbled in to doing myself over the last 10 years that really helped me during that period. I could have saved myself a lot of annoyance back then if I knew what I know now, and I’m glad to learn my habbits are actually half decent now.

    In regards to Ex Machina, I was never fully convinced that the android was in fact an AI, which is what the visitor was supposedly there to test. A well enough programmed robot could easily have pulled off all the tricks that the android did, especially when testing against a human with all our flaws.

    To me the movie said more about exposing the flaws in the turing test when paired with inadequate testing methodologies that result in false positives. That said, I’m also quite positive what I got out of the movie wasn’t the message the directors and producers were trying to get across.

38. If I don’t have spazzy body parts acting up, I like to do relaxation meditations before bed. A great site that has free downloads is “Excel At Life”. If you go to the site and click on downloads at the very bottom right (http://www.excelatlife.com/downloads.htm) you find so many great audio files. I set my music player to “concert hall” for best sound. My favorites are THE MEADOW RELAXATION and MOUNTAIN CABIN RELAXATION – both do some deep breathing, then a head to toe relaxation, and then beautiful relaxing imagery. The site has lots of great files, and I originally found it to download the panic attack assistance audio file, which is quite helpful.

39. This describes almost every night for me.
    I feel your pain brother.

40. My natural sleep schedule is similar fall asleep at like 2 or 3 and get up around 10 am. It seems like 9pm or 10 pm every night I get this second wind like holy crap maybe I should do a ton of cleaning.. I was recently working a job where I created my own schedule so it didn’t matter but when I took a new position that required me to be there at 8:30 and it really felt like the end of the world. Two weeks later I’m still not fully adjusted but trying so hard to push through the changing of cycle… As its almost midnight… I’m failing.

41. have you tried the app f.lux? I put it on my PC so after sunset it dials back on the blue light…

    (loving Titansgrave btw 😀 have you thought about running a comp for Season 2 NPCs?)

42. Ok, this sounds like something I go through. I get very tired, and five minutes into trying to sleep, I’m feeling buzzy. I found out it’s related to hypotention, low blood pressure. All the blood had been gravity pooling in the lower part of my body, lying down rearranged it and my brain gets fed again. So I have to make sure I get a short, slow walk around the house, or do some stretching while sitting, before I try to sleep. Some of the class of medications might be interfering with the brain mechanism that pumps the blood more when needed. If you feel foggy, or even dizzy when you try to stand at the end of the day, or when getting up in the morning, it could be hypotensive related. I just learned this at a Parkinson’s support group meeting, but the speaker said other illnesses and medications can cause the same interference with the mechanism. Movement was the first fix to try, adding a little salt to the diet (if allowable) was second, medication was third. Aside, I don’t have Parkinson’s, a family member does. I do have CFIDS/ME/SEID though and it took years before it was figured out what was going on.

43. Hey Wil, some time ago I went to counselling for sleep issues and what they found changed my life. They researched and found that some particularly bright people have a hard time getting their brain to agree that sleep is the priority.

    With that group of people their brains let you go to “sleep” (sometimes) but even when you are sleeping your brain is busy working something out and you aren’t getting a good rest. Falling asleep is an issue as is getting restful sleep.

    They found someone with similar characteristics like me in a case study, a nuclear physicist (which I am not) who eventually needed to spend some time in an institution, and found that he too was reading stimulating materials before bed. I was prescribed “boring” before bed.

    Since then I seriously read stuff that I do not find interesting and I sleep much better. Avoid backlit screens if you can, paper or e-ink is best.

    My wife claims that when I read historical romance fiction (bleh) I am so incredibly rested and she notices I “sound” more asleep. Sometimes the medicine does taste bad.

    Anyhow, thought I would share, good luck with your sleep routine change, wish the best for you.

    If it works you can buy me lunch when you are next in WInnipeg. 😉

44. Wil,

    It sounds like you have a form of Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). My wife has a mild for of the same thing. I’m sure most of the advice here is solid for a single night where you’re having trouble sleeping. But, long term the best thing to do is excercise. In the last ~5 years my wife and I have become much more active and are both sleeping much better (me not snoring as much or loud, her with less RLS). We’ve also seen many other postives from the excercise such as better focus, weight loss, needing fewer hours of sleep, better general health, etc.

    As you appear to have RLS, I’d suggest an excercise that used your legs significantly (so cayaking and canoeing won’t do much good). I’m a mostly a runner but also hike and do yoga. My wife will run, walk, hike, cycle, and do pilates. I think the key is to find something you enjoy. Finding excercise you enjoy is tough if you’re not used to doing it. It’s reallly hard getting through the first 3-4 weeks when you’re body is first adjusting to the work.

    I’ll also add it’s common to think you don’t have time to excercise. I’ll agree it’s very difficult when starting out if you’re a busy person. But, I’ve found that even though I spend 6-10 hr/week exercising now, I’m more productive and need less rest. As a result, I’m not any more pressed for time now that I excercise regularily than when I was the “couch potato” type.

45. Wil – I’m finishing up a PhD in clinical psych at Ryerson University in Toronto. One of the members of our faculty, Dr. Colleen Carney, has been doing research on the application of cognitive-behavioral therapy to insomnia/sleep difficulties, which co-occur a lot with depression and anxiety. I don’t know whether what you’re describing in your post qualifies as insomnia – it sounds to me more like you’re doing something similar to what shift workers have to do when their shift schedules change. However, I wanted to share a link to Dr. Carney’s book, which has been helpful for a few of my clients, and might be of use to you and/or your readers. It’s a self-help manual and not too expensive (a bit less than 20 bucks CDN, not sure on the USD price).

    However, I also wanted to share a few of the key points for free – the ones that I think relate most to the issue you’re describing.

    Going to bed too early to try to get more sleep typically doesn’t work well. Instead, setting your alarm for the time you want to be awake and forcing yourself to get up at that time every morning (even though it’s painful to do so) appears to help reset people’s internal clocks.

    The theory (and I’m going to sound clumsy explaining it) is that we are unable to feel tired until we’ve been awake long enough to build up sufficient “sleep drive” for our bodies to start initiating shut-down mode – if you’re used to getting up at 10am and sleeping at 2am, going to bed 3-4 hours before your body is ready will leave you lying awake in bed stressing about not being able to sleep (which then increases your feelings of anxiety around sleeping and being in bed, which FURTHER hinders sleep….).

    Some other key points from the therapy (but this isn’t exhaustive – there are many elements to the treatment, it’s not a quick fix, but it is very effective):

    Don’t lie in bed if you’re not falling asleep. If you can’t sleep after 10-15 mins, get up and do something else. Further to this point, try not to use your bed for anything except sleep – for instance eating, or working on your computer. You don’t want to associate your bed with anything except sleep (and sex, which is exempt from this rule).
    The “something else” you do instead of lying in bed tossing and turning should be enough to distract you from anxious thoughts or rumination (light reading) but not so engaging that it keeps you awake/alert (e.g. playing Mass Effect, binge-watching your current favorite TV show on Netflix).
    Go back to bed when you feel really sleepy.
    Rinse and repeat if necessary.

    Here is a link to the manual on Amazon:

    http://www.amazon.ca/Quiet-Your-Mind-Get-Sleep/dp/1572246278/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1437057008&sr=8-1&keywords=quiet+your+mind+and+get+to+sleep

    1. Thanks for this Nicole. I have a friend who started a new job that’s night shift, and he’s having a lot of trouble shifting his sleep cycle. And I didn’t think you sounded clumsy at all. You were very easy to understand. Good luck to you, and also I forgot to wish Wil an easier time too. Sleep deprivation troubles are, and make one feel, miserable.

46. Hey Wil, I’ve been reading your blog lately. I drew some Stand by me sketch cards. They are on ebay. You might like to take a look. It is my favorite movie. I’m enjoying your blog. 🙂

47. Random question, Wil, have you ever tried using White Noise machines to help fall asleep?

    1. I have, and it totally doesn’t work for me. Real, actual waves work, but recordings or white noise generators actually keep me awake.

48. I had nocturnal Restless Leg Syndrome for some time. I managed to get some help while working in Pharmacy at Long Beach Memorial/Miller’s Children’s Hosptial. Potassium deficiency. Yes, I was told that a good many medications can cause potassium deficiency in people. I regulary eat a banana, or two, prior to sleep. This has brought an end to my nocturnal RLS.
    I hope this helps… I wish you well with your journey to a regular/normal circadian rhythm.

49. Yep…I’m dealing with the same wackadoodle business over on my side of the oreo.

50. My body’s sleep schedule seems to be from 6am till 1pm. It SUCKS.

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