Me: I’m going to get some words down on this story I’ve been developing for months!
My brain: Okay. Let’s do this.
My body: Not so fast. I have to cough so much all of our muscles are going to hurt.
Me: Okay. You done?
My body: Not just yet. I also have to sort of ache a little bit and also produce a whole bunch of snot and crap for you. Also, I need to cough some more.
Me: Got it. Now, let’s get to work!
My body: Can we just put a pin in that for a moment? Our throat needs some attention. It’s not nearly scratchy enough. Oh, and this cough isn’t really doing anything, but it’s a whole thing now, and I’m not really ready to give it up.
My brain: Um. Fellas?
Me: Yeah?
My body: What’s up, brain?
My brain: This is bullshit. When you’re ready to get your shit together, you let me know, and we’ll do some awesome creative work. Until then, I’m going to check out and focus on amusing cat pictures.
Me: NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! I NEED YOU!
My brain: I know he isn’t going to actually buy a boat, but my god this is still as funny as it was the first time.
Me: YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!
My brain: Let’s play pinball arcade, buddy.
My body: Yeah, about that … I’ve slowed down your reactions and increased the coughing. I am really into this whole coughing thing.
Me: I think I’ll just go take a nap.
My body and my brain: Finally, something we can all agree on!
My body: … I’m just going to keep coughing. Sorry not sorry.
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Sucky! I hope you feel better soon, and that all of you can agree on doing something fun and / or productive 🙂
A nap is good. Nap > work. 🙂
i agree.
Oh, the summer cold. So unfair, especially in hot weather. Get well soon!
Hope you feel better soon!
This may sound bizarre but put vicks on the bottom of your feet. Rub in real good,between toes, then put 2 pairs of socks on. It will help relieve the cough! IT WORKS! Youll be able to sleep.
I hope you feel better in time for Critical Role tomorrow night!
mI have coughed so hard I had to barf. Or had rib/muscle pulls that hurt for weeks. Then I found out about one plant that helped: Guaifenesin. You can find it in cold medicines that relieve mucus and in cheaper stuff.
Will, I didn’t know if my first post would post, but I can follow up now. Guaifenesin will help with coughing right away. You can get it without the other additives (like Musonex has) and it will stop coughing in less than 30 min. It’s basis is from a natural tree https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guaifenesin
There has been lots of smoke in the air lately from California wildfires and they cause a lot of breathing problems. One small pill of guaifenesin (I got mine at Dollar Tree) will stop the coughs.
I hate summer colds and allergies. It feels so wrong to be laid up when it’s sunny and warm outside.
Is it too late to blame #SummerColdWatch on GenCon? I’m sure GenCon germs have just been hanging around incubating in your body for two weeks.
Is it something a glass of Grandma’s Sweat Stout might cure?
Hope you feel better soon! Can’t wait until new Titansgrave on Saturday 🙂
For me, it’s the heat that keeps my productivity low. Partially because my laptop doesn’t favour high temperatures and partially because my body is rather sensitive. I can easily get migraine sigh Plus it seems my allergy is acting up again so in the morning and at night I cough too…
I hope you’ll get better soon! And do keep good care of your throat, I’ve overused my vocal cords twice while sick and I wouldn’t wish the ensuing inflammation even my enemies T_T Rather sleep a little more than become more sick, your body knows what it needs 😉
My summer cough turned into pneumonia in the second week. Pls see a dr if you aren’t feeling better soon.
If I’m not significantly better tomorrow, I’m going to the doctor.
hugs
Truth!!!
OMG, I laughed so hard I started coughing! Only because I’ve been there, done that myself. Just now getting over a summer case of strep throat, so I guess misery really does love company. Hope we both feel better soon, Wil.
I have to echo the advice about seeing a doctor, I had to lose my voice first! (NOT GOOD, my job is about 75% talking.) Don’t endanger that great voice, Wil.
you’re funny 🙂
Feel better Wil! Ready to see, hear and read more of your great creations
This sounds like last Thursday. passes Wil virtual soup and tea of his choice I wasn’t sure if I had a really sudden cold or was getting the real honest-to-God flu, I felt that awful. Luckily, I was somewhat on the mend the next day. I wish the same for you.
But I do find your post quite amusing. Preach it, man, preach it. sigh
I hate that feeling. I’m so sorry you’re not feeling well, Wil. I hope you get back on your feet soon. Please take care of yourself. Sending a big hug to you!
Not a thing till you have to sleep sitting up. Then you know you’ve caught the bronchitis that’s been going around SoCal.
I’m sorry you’re sick, Wil.
But thanks for this humorous look at something we’ve all been through.
Get well soon, Wheaton. That’s an order. And I’m a captain. You have to listen 🙂
Feel better, little bro!
A slice of fresh ginger root in green tea with honey and lemon. Hope you feel better soon. Feel guilty for laughing so hard at your post… It was perfect. BTDT feeling.
It sounds weird, but vicks on the feet with socks really helps. I started doing it a couple of years ago (I have lung issues) and it has helped a lot. Feel better soon!!
Dang – you have those conversations, too?? I thought it was just me.
It never ceases to astonish me, though it shouldn’t at my age and with how many times I’ve been sick, just how much ….. fluids ….. your body can produce when you are sick. The shear volume defies logic. Ug You just have to feel this way until you don’t feel this way anymore. I hate it when that happens.
Nothing has stopped this cough. I’m feeling better (not dead) but been coughing since just a couple days after GenCon. The worst is the achy arms, legs, chest and massive headaches that come from the coughing. Ugh. Hopefully we’re all better soon!
I hope you feel better soon!
I thought you might like to see that Elisabeth Alba, a professional artist, has been doing TNG pictures as her ‘Sketches of the Day’ lately. http://www.albaillustration.com/blog/?p=835 There’s a nice Wesley near the end!
I hope you heal fast. Salt water gargle is great for a sore throat.
Feel better and hoping you bring Aeofel to critical role!
Loved you on Critical Role. Great role-play in spite of the dice. Hope you feel better next week. You should bring Lemley as back up next week….
They say laughter is the best medicine . . . you just made all of us feel better, and I hope there was a boomerang effect for you! Thank you!
Sorry you’re feeling coughy, achy, yucky Wil. Hope you turn the corner toward health very very soon.
“You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the , not join them. You were to bring balance to the , not leave it in darkness!”
Doh! /< and /> doesn’t work on wordpress … I should have known that =P
Epic FAIL!
I wish you were my little brother instead of the one I have, We have so much in common.
Bahahaha that is hilarious! I can soooo relate to that as a writer!! I love your writing, Wil. Even when you’re just “dicking around” you are so creative and hilarious.