About twenty years ago, I had a portable spa in the back yard of my first house. One day, the heater stopped working, so I called a repairman to come out and look at it. He told me that there would be an $85 charge no matter what, and I told him that was okay. When he got to my house, he opened up the access panel where the heater, pump, and filter lived. He looked inside, then looked back at me.
“Did you try pushing the reset button?” He asked.
“Um. No,” I said.
He pushed the reset button, and the heater came back to life.
“That’ll be $85,” he said. I paid him.
This post is about realizing that I was sitting in cold water, and not doing anything to turn the heater back on. This post is about how I hit the reset button.
I had this epiphany at the beginning of September: This thing that I’m doing? This series of choices I make every day? It isn’t working. I don’t like the way I feel, I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like the things I’m doing. Things need to change.
So I took a long, hard, serious look at myself, and concluded that some things needed to change.
- Drink less beer.
- Read more (and Reddit does not count as reading).
- Write more.
- Watch more movies.
- Get better sleep.
- Eat better food.
- Exercise more.
All of these things are interconnected in ways that are probably obvious and non-obvious, and by making a commitment to do my best to accomplish these things, I’ve been able to do a soft reboot of my life.
The hardest part of this was not drink less beer, which surprised me. The hardest part has been writing more. The easiest part of this has been exercise more, which also surprised me. I thought watching more movies would be easy, but it turns out that time is not a renewable resource, nor can time be stretched out in any real way that lets me get, say, four hours of movie into an hour of linear time.
In fact, if I’m being honest with myself (and I have to be, because being honest with myself is the only way this is going to work; I’m making major life changes here, remember), all of these things are hard to a certain degree, and that’s okay, because everything worth doing is hard.
So let’s go down this list and talk about each thing a little bit:
Drink less beer.
I love beer. I mean, I really love it. I brew it, I write about it, I design recipes of my own, and I’ve structured entire meals around what food will pair with the beer I want to drink. The thing about beer, though, is that it’s really easy to just keep on drinking it until it’s all gone or your brain goes, “um, hey, man, ithinkthat … imean … I mean, sorry, hold on. I th- think that youvehadneough.” Excessive drinking isn’t just tough on my liver (which has been a fucking CHAMP for years), it’s also tough on my brain because of my Depression. It’s tough on my heart, too, it turns out, because alcohol the carbohydrates are metabolized as sugar* which drives up insulin which makes my cholesterol go up which is bad for my heart thanks a lot genetics.
So I just made a commitment to drink less, drink more responsibly, and keep the intoxicating effects of the beers I love to a minimum. The first two weeks of this were really tough because I was habitually drinking two or three beers a night, but once I got used to it and broke the habit, it became as easy as I think it’s going to get (and that varies from day to day).
Read more. Write more.
These go together more closely than any other things on this list. Stephen King says that writers who don’t make time to read aren’t going to make time to write and holy shit is that exactly, perfectly true. I need to read so that my imagination is inspired. I need to read so I get an artistic and creative hunger that can only be fed by writing. I need to read so that I feel challenged to scrape ideas out of my skull and turn them into words and images. I need to read because if I don’t, I’m not going to make time to write, and even though I’ve had a lot of success recently as an actor and host and Guy On The Internet, all of those things are ultimately in the hands of others. I became a writer ten years ago because I not only loved it, but because it was a way for me to express myself creatively in a way that ultimately gave me control over my own destiny and my own life.
I struggled as an actor for years (it’s all in my book, Just A Geek! You should buy it!) and I was doomed to a future as a Former Child Star with occasional, humiliating, soul-crushing reality TV gigs if I was lucky. But I made a choice about twelve years ago to stop chasing the big film career I always felt I deserved (and maybe would have had, if I’d made different choices and had better advisers when I was younger) and start telling stories. By writing those stories and embracing the love I’d always had for creative writing, I made a second act in my life (take that, F. Scott Fitzgerald!).
Now this could sound like I’m complaining, or ungrateful, but I promise that isn’t the case. I am totally aware that a combination of hard work, privilege, and luck have all come together for me and put me in a very good place. But I worry about things. A lot. When the night is darkest, and it seems like the sun may never rise, I worry about how long I can sustain this life. I worry about what will happen when the people who choose to hire actors decide that they don’t want to hire me any more. I worry about how I’ll support and provide for my family, and on and on and on.
I am profoundly and completely grateful for the success I had and continue to have, because of the hard work I did in those years. I’m so lucky and grateful for the things I’ve been able to do on TV, and I’m really proud of the things I’ve created for Geek & Sundry. But even Tabletop and Titansgrave aren’t mine the same way a story I wrote is. In fact, the show I did with my name in the title was probably the least “mine” of anything I’ve ever done, and that didn’t feel particularly good at the end of the day.
But writing and storytelling always feels good. It’s truly mine, whether it’s awesome or shit, and nobody can take it away from me. For all of this year and most of last year, I hardly wrote anything of consequence. A few blogs, a couple of columns, and some small creative things that were always well received by the audience, sure, but never consistently and never in a way that fed the creative hunger that constantly makes my stomach growl. Going all the way back to last August, I swore that I’d take more time away from other things to focus on writing and taking the pages and pages of story ideas I have in my little notebook and turning them into actual stories. The thing is, when I took that time off, my health and mana were so depleted, I couldn’t find it in myself to do the work. Every few months, I’d take a week or two off, and instead of writing like I wanted to, I’d play video games and do nothing else, because I was just so goddamn tired. Then I would look up, realize a couple of weeks had passed, I hadn’t done anything, and I needed to get back to “real” work. I would feel frustrated and empty, and the whole cycle would start all over again.
I’ve been reading this book called The War of Art. It gets a little churchy at points, but I can skip over that and focus on the stuff that helps me: identifying all the barriers we create to give us the excuses we crave to not create. It turns out that if I were as good at sitting down and writing as I am at coming up with all the reasons I just can’t do it today, I’d have written ten novels this year.
So a big part of this Life Reset I’m doing is being honest with myself about why I want to write, why I need to write, and why I keep making excuses for not doing it. I won’t go into it, because it’s either too personal or too boring, but if you’re reading this and starting to have the glimmer of an epiphany about your own creative process, maybe pick up this book and check it out. It’s been very helpful for me.
Yesterday, I wrote over 3000 words. I only stopped because it was time to leave for a hockey game (there’s that privilege again), and I felt so goddamn good about myself when I walked out my door. I couldn’t wait to get back to work today, and I’m having so much fun writing this story, it may not even be fair to call it work.
Reading is an important component of this entire process for me, and making time to nourish my creative side has made a big and positive difference. Whether it’s comic books, magazine articles, fiction or non-fiction, I’m reading every day, and finding inspiration in everything I read.
Watch more movies.
Thanks to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Video, and a billion movie channels, we have access to more movies than we can ever watch, and that is amazing. Watching movies is, for me, similar to reading books. It’s part homework (as an actor and writer) and part inspiration. I have the opportunity to make short films with Nerdist and Geek & Sundry, so watching movies — good movies, not disposable trash — just makes sense. It also engages my brain in creative and intellectual ways that are important. I need to watch things and feel like I can do that, too, or feel like if that thing got made, there’s no reason I couldn’t make one of my own things. Hell, in this room where I am right now, I have everything I need to take some sort of simple creative idea and turn it into a movie. So why not? Why not watch movies as varied as the true classics (Sunset Boulevard, Chinatown) to the weird 70s experimental (The Trip, Scorpio Rising) to the epic blockbusters (Star Wars, Jaws) and get inspired by them? This is something that I need to do, because sitting in my office all day and looking at the Internet isn’t making me happier, more creative, more productive, or more inspired.
Related: listen to more podcasts like Lore, You Must Remember This, The Memory Palace, Welcome to Night Vale, The Black Tapes, and Unfictional. Those all inspire me to learn more, focus on pacing and storytelling and narrative, and make me want to be a more interesting person.
Get better sleep.
Maybe this is a strange one, but hear me out: for months — most of this year, in fact, now that I think of it — I haven’t slept well. I’ve had the hardest time, ever, falling asleep and staying asleep. I’ve had nightmares that terrify me from the moment I finally fall asleep, well into the following day as they haunt my memories. I’ve lived with the constant dread of waking up in a panic attack, and then waking up in a panic attack. It’s been terrible, and has contributed tremendously to my inability to get motivated, my reliance on alcohol to relax and go to sleep at night, and a general feeling of exhaustion, laziness, pessimism, and futility. I talked with my psychiatrist about it, and we tried sleep medication, which only made my body feel tired, while my brain was still racing along at the speed of terror. After several different attempts and failures, we tried changing up my brain meds, and about six weeks ago, I finally started feeling like a human again. I won’t go into the deep science of it, but we think I just had too much of some chemicals in my brain, and not enough of others. And it turns out that drinking alcohol to help you go to sleep does not result in good sleep, but does result in feeling like shit when you wake up.
So by committing to getting better sleep, I have changed up my evening and nighttime routines. I eat earlier, I drink less, I read more, and I’ve been able to slowly adjust my circadian rhythm from wanting to sleep at 2am to wanting to sleep around 11pm. I’ve used some great apps on my Droid to help me monitor things and determine what patterns work best for me, and while it’s still a work in progress — this entire thing is a work in progress, actually — it’s definitely getting better. When I don’t have nightmares all goddamn night, I’m more rested when I wake up. When I’m rested, I feel better in every aspect of my being. When I feel better, I am more creative and more willing to allow myself to take the risk of feeling good about myself.
Isn’t that strange? It’s a thing that I do, that I’ve done for my whole life: I don’t want to take the risk of feeling good about myself, because I’m afraid that I’ll get complacent, or arrogant, or someone will discover the Truth that my Depression tells me: I’m not that great and I don’t deserve to feel good about myself. I’m reading another book, called Trapped in the Mirror, that’s really helping me get through that, though.
So I take the risk of feeling good about myself, and more often than not, I actually do feel good about myself.
Eat better.
We all say we’re going to do this, and we always make excuses for why we don’t. Now I’ve been very lucky. My whole life, I’ve been able to stay at a healthy weight and body type without much effort … then I turned 40. In the last couple of years, I gained almost 30 pounds, my cholesterol went through the roof, and my whole body began to hurt, all the time.
There’s no excuse or rationalizing, here. I just wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t eating right. I wasn’t getting good nutrition. I wasn’t thinking of food as fuel and nutrients. I wasn’t making an effort to be smart about this, because I didn’t particularly care about myself. I didn’t really like myself, I didn’t feel like I could do anything about getting tubby and slow and out of shape, because I was just getting older and that’s the way it was.
That’s all bullshit. Here’s the thing, and this is pretty much the whole reason I made a choice almost three months ago to hit this reset button and really get my life together: I didn’t like myself. I didn’t care about myself. There’s a bit more to it, but that’s the two things that exist the most clearly and form the root of the last few years of my life. In fact, it took my wife, who is the most important person in my whole universe, telling me, “I feel like you don’t care about having a long life together with me, because you don’t care about taking care of yourself.”
Well, that was ridiculous. Of course I cared about having a long life with her! Of course I cared … didn’t I?
I cared about her, and I cared about our kids, but I didn’t really care about myself. And my Depression was doing a really good job of making sure that I didn’t really think about my choices and my actions affected the people I love and care about the most in this world. That was what made me look up, take my head out of the darkness, and commit to doing all of these things.
It turns out that eating well, consistently, isn’t as easy as just eating what I want, when I want. It turns out that it’s really hard to break out of bad habits, but it also turns out that, once I made the commitment to do that, I started feeling better almost immediately. I got an app that makes it easy to track my nutrition, calories, and exercise, and in a very short amount of time, I lost almost all the weight I’d gained. I’d still like to lose five more pounds, and that five pounds is really keen on sticking around, but it’s slowly coming off, it’s staying off, and it feels great. Also, having a digital scale that lets me track precisely how much I just pooped is probably the pinnacle of technology in the 21st century.
And a super bonus that comes with this? My body doesn’t hurt like it did, because I’m not schlepping around extra weight. My joints are healthy, my muscles are stronger, and my skeleton is just in better shape, and that leads me into the last part of this.
Exercise regulary.
My son, Nolan, is a personal trainer. He’s in phenomenal shape, looks like Thor (for reals), and trains both me and his mom. So I should be in great shape, right?
Well, if I’d stuck to a good diet, taken better care of myself, and felt like I actually deserved to feel good about myself, then yes. But as we’ve seen, that just wasn’t happening. I worked out a couple of times a week, I did good, hard workouts, but then I’d feel sore and tired and wasn’t getting the results I wanted (mostly due to poor diet) and I’d come up with reasons not to do it. Then I’d make the mistake of seeing myself in the mirror when I got out of the shower, and I’d really hate myself.
I think that lifting weights and doing inside stuff just isn’t for me. I get bored easily, and I don’t fully participate in the workouts. But I love running. I used to run marathons and 5Ks all the time, and my entire self felt amazing when I did. So why not give running a try again? The excuses wrote themselves.
I was working on Con Man with Sean Astin. Sean told me about the Ironman Triathlon he was training for, and I complained that I couldn’t run anymore, because my body always hurt. Sean talked to me about the diet aspect of it, and then suggested that I use a method of mixing running with walking to work myself back into shape.
So I bought an app called Zombies, Run 5K for my phone. It uses recording and all the various sensors in my phone to let me imagine that I’m a runner in the zombie apocalypse. While I am being trained by a doctor, I listen to my music (Taylor Swift and Tove Lo accompany me on most of my runs) and a story unfolds in my ears. I’m three weeks into the training, and while it’s starting to ramp up from challenging to difficult, it feels great. I look forward to every run, I challenge myself to go as hard and as long as I can (that’s what she said) and the benefits to my self-esteem, my physical and mental health, and overall quality of life are incredible. If I was looking to quantify the value of this, it would probably be like spending five bucks to get ten thousand dollars of awesome. (Does that make sense? I’ve been writing this for a long time and the words are starting to get blurry on the screen).
I deserve to be happy. I deserve to feel good about myself. I can do the work that I need to do to accomplish these things.
If I tried to do just one of these things, and I stayed committed to it, I’d probably feel better about myself. Doing all of them together isn’t necessarily easier, but it isn’t necessarily harder, either. Every one of these things supports the other in a sparkling geometric structure of awesome that is making my life significantly and consistently better.
I just did a word count on this, and I’m at nearly 3500 words. I didn’t intend to write this much, and I suspect that most people will tl;dr it, but I’m glad that I spent the time thinking about these things and writing them down like this. I’m sure I’ll revisit this, rewrite it, and revise it, but I’m going to publish it now without a lot of editing. This is raw, and I feel like it’s supposed to be.
* Note: I got the science on this wrong. Per a comment: “In case it matters, consider the inaccuracy of your thoughts about alcohol and what it does to your body. See the Oracle of Wikipedia for details. It’s not the ALCOHOL that hurts your circulatory system (I have the same hypertriglyeridemia genetics problem BTW). It’s the simple carbohydrates that become sugars alkalize immediately. That is, it’s the carb filled beer not the ALCOHOL in it that causes the problem. I’m not a carb hater or fad dieter. But I do believe in studying science and trying to understand reasons for why I need to change my behaviors. That helps with motivations. After all: who would argue with scientific facts?”
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Wil. This is the first time I have been to your site. It won’t be the last. I had one of those horrible days yesterday. You know the ones, where you can’t see the trees anymore, just a forest full of dark scary things. My girlfriend sent me this link today, I guess for the cheer of it. I don’t know if she even knows who you are, just a link about rebooting your life and taking care of yourself so she hit send.
I don’t feel alone in this world. And it makes me happy to see people, smart people, wising up to the badness of too much booze in their diet. If we all cut down just a bit, we’d be happier healthier and probably have a sparser troll population on the internet.
I quit all the booze 6 years ago, and my life has drastically improved each and every day. I do miss beer, but not as much as what it was costing me. In the long run i probably added years to my life, I added real $$$ to my wallet, and went from better job to better job to better job.
I’ll get off my teetotaling soapbox now. But huge thanks for the podcasts, I had killed off all of Hardcore history, and needed some new in-flight material.
Thank you for your frank, honest, and vulnerable post. I think most of us have the idea that someone as well known and successful as yourself doesn’t have to deal with the same self-doubt and worry that us “normal” people have to deal with. As a fellow devout beer lover and geek in their 40’s (by the way, your Stone collaboration is delicious) I can relate to the need to reduce my intake and the struggle to do so. Good luck with your self-improvement, we all look forward to more of your work.
I too am in a “reboot” … This was like you read my mind. Thanks for sharing. You rock Wil.. And you’re blessed to have Anne. 👍🏻
I to start my reboot, but it’s like Wil was reading my mind, too! 😉
This is amazing. It’s so recognizable and I’m in a very similar place where I’m trying to ‘reboot’ or restart myself and how I take care of myself. I just wanted to give an idea that struck me when you mentioned the inability to stretch time so you would have more (to watch movies), and you probably thought about it, but have you considered doing exercise while watching a movie? Or do you need to be totally focused on the movie? I try to make myself do stationary bike riding if I want to watch one of my favorite shows and it’s helping. Just an idea.
What a great piece! I’ve made the same statement to my husband that your wife made to you. We’ve got to be healthy to be there for one another, because old age will bring its own problems, so treating our bodies well now is even more important! My mom is very active at 70 and you would never guess her age.
As a first-time novelist, I can totally relate to the excuses not to write. Luckily my book is done and now I’ve got to work on the business end…which is even more daunting, but you’ve inspired me!
I need to do some of these same things…like read more, write more, and exercise more (I, too, got lucky with metabolism). Thanks for the inspiration!
Maybe “learn about the function of basic home mechanicals” would be a good #8…
Wil,
First visit to your blog, and like ‘dirtiest wizard’ said above, it won’t be my last. Your “artists working for free or exposure” post showed up on Facebook. It brought me here. I love this post and your working for free post. I am a fifty year old SAG/AFTRA actor, and have probably been in about 100 movies and TV shows you’ve probably never heard of and mostly non-union work, as I was a Financial Core actor before the merger. When the unions merged I got my SAG/AFTRA card back, and since then I have never gone back to being Fi-Core, nor will I. It’s just not worth it. I am also a recovering alcoholic with over eight years sober, and as of this post I am four months and fourteen days off cigarettes (I smoked for thirty years and developed asthma when I was thirty). This is my biggest accomplishment so far, and the hardest to give up. I had to be in a hospital for five days with my asthma to finally drop the cigarettes (and it wasn’t the first time I’ve gone through that just the worst). The thing that was different this time is my wife quit with me. Needless to say after dropping the smokes I feel much better, although I still have some trouble breathing at times, but how much recovery should I expect after only four and a half months of quitting after smoking for thirty years and having asthma? Answer: Exactly what I’m getting. And like you, I gained twenty five pounds last year in the beginning of 2014 even before I quit smoking, but since then (even when I was smoking), I was still lifting weights and was turning it into muscle. And I was just starting to see some great results from my workouts, then I strained a dormant umbilical hernia and had to have that operated on, which slowed me down for a few months. Now I’m on a good track to health, and it is an immense change. I also started eating clean food (well, cleaner, nobody’s perfect) and exercise on a regular basis. I learned just how important cardiovascular activity is as opposed to just lifting weights. I now do the stairs at The Baldwin Hills Scenic Overlook (aka Culver Stairs) on a regular basis, do stairmaster or ellyptical and lift weights at the gym and I love it, because I can breathe!! Kudos to you for taking the steps that you have to improve your life. As far as sleep goes, decreasing the alcohol, increasing the exercise, and keeping a good diet will help with that. And with all the rest, well, I guess like Nike slogan says, “Just Do It.” Well, I’m gonna grab some protein and go do some lifting now. Peace be with you.
Just read “seven things…” and had to let you know that you have inspired me to reboot, as well. I’ve been a writer, a reader, a drinker, etc. all my life, and after 40+ years of it, I got tired. Like you, I’ve been successful and grateful, but not as successful and grateful as I thought I should be. ( Does that sound arrogant?) But what happens when you get tired–and don’t do anything about it–you (read ‘I’) start to die. And I DON’T WANT TO DIE! I’ve made some kind of peace with lifelong depression, but it can be so hard. Then, today I happened upon your post about Huffington Post not paying you for your work. This led me to “seven things…”. I believe God works in mysterious ways and sends us the lessons when we can hear them. Thank you, wilwheaton, for being there. You have given me a push to get moving again. I am going to use your thoughts to jumpstart my engine. I know it won’t be easy, but then anything of value to me never is!
Best to you, Linda Schanbacher
So it looks like I have the 380th thought here – wow. Not surprising though, this is uplifting. I’m 23 and still graced with the ability to eat largely without consequence (though I’ve juuuust started to feel the expiry on that creeping in) but what you say about needing to be OK with the idea of feeling good and being happy being necessary for change and improvement really rings true. Thanks, man. Much appreciated!
Wil,
Whether you move forward an inch at a time or a mile at a time – at least you’re moving forward! I’ve rebooted and adjusted several times over the past few years. As your life improves, you will seek and find other areas to include and more adjustments may be needed. Keep your eye on the prize and the possibilities are endless! 🙂 I wish you all the best! 🙂 Hugs to you and your family!
This is really awesome and timely. Thank you. Zombies!
Quite a few people have commented, myself included, asking what apps in particular, did you find helpful? I’m especially interested in the sleep and nutrition ones. Maybe you could add a note to the end of your post, so we could have our curiosity assuaged…?
I am the founder of a digital music distribution company called ADED.US –– I’ve experienced much of the same changes you have. It seems that EVERYTHING changes when you turn 30. I can no longer eat the same foods I ate as a kid without there being some ‘consequence’. I take omeprazole to kill the potential heart burn so bad it makes me throw up. You become ‘aware’ of things you didn’t think about as a kid.
Anyway, I too go through bouts of depression where I think the world is caving in on me. I feel like if I don’t accomplish something ‘major’ every single day that I’ve done something wrong and my mood gets fukt up pretty quick. @MakellBird
Will, I love this post so much I want to kiss it full on the mouth. Hard. (LOL.) I feel like I need to print this out and tack it on the wall on every surface I pass in my apartment, anything to keep your words in my head. As a comfort, a reminder and as an inspiration.
Seriously, you’ve hit on so many things I’ve been feeling about my own life: tired, tired, uninspired, and did I mention tired? And how no time (or not making time) for reading (and other positive, joy-filled endeavors like watching movies, singing, etc.) has severely cramped my own imagination for writing or any creativity or FUN in life. And I need to do more, I need to do better. I need to hit that reset in so many ways.
And your post is just so inspiring because you GET IT. You know what it’s like because you’ve gone through it. And now you’re showing us through your own example how we can all hit reset and take better care of ourselves and feel better about ourselves. (Which, to be very honest, has always been one of my biggest problems, not feeling good about myself or that I deserved any better.)
So… yes, I read every word. It was definitely not a “tl;dr” for me. Thank you very much for writing this and sharing your experience.
Damn it! I was typing so fast to get all my thoughts out that I accidentally hit two L’s in your name and I didn’t notice it until I hit ‘post comment.’ Sincerest apologies. headdesk
Thank you, Wil. Your creative journey mirrors my own self-loathing point of view and the excuse machine that prevented me from moving forward. After reading this article, I have clarity into my own situation. I did read an article that the occupation of being a writer was at the top of the list for Depression. I’ve asked myself what comes first: The writing or Depression? I’ve taken your words to heart and hope I can have a successful reboot too.
Hi Wil, I gave up alcohol completely due to the same issues as well as caffeine, cigarettes, anti-depressants (I had been on them for 10 years) and I set about doing what I loved. I opened a gaming news and reviews site, got stuck into various online gaming communities and was writing GDD’s for fun and profit. I then landed a dream job making game design documents and I’m getting a salary!
The funny thing when you decide to hit the reset button is how much things change around you. Opportunities present themselves all the time, but are you available to take hold of them? Are you drinking? Then you’re either too inebriated or hung over to be present to notice. Not exercising? Probably never bump into that hot blonde you see from time to time walking passed your gym. Opportunities missed are failed successes and negative thought and behavioural patterns often caused me to miss out on some of the more exciting things I could have done with my life.
Like other creatives, I suffered and still do suffer from anxieties that would otherwise discourage me from continuing in my work. I admire so much of what you have done and somehow feel like your situation reflects mine in some ways.
Keep writing and PLAY MORE GAMES!
Make it so #1! (sorry, couldn’t resist). damn fine piece, read every word. Best of luck.
Phenomenal article and something I have been really trying to do recently. I lost 60 pounds since the beginning of the year, I’m drinking less and eating better. I think the big takeaway, for me, is to work on my passions more. I love to draw. I love to look at my work and smile and imagine what that character or monster or whatever is doing in it’s fictional universe. However, I always find those excuses. Time to hit the reset I think. Thanks Wil.
Thank you for taking the time to write those 3500+ words…you have a story worth sharing that is relevant to many people, myself included. I too need a reboot and today should be day 1.
I loved this blog. That is all.
Thanks for this very excellent article! I’m thrilled to find an example of someone making a commitment to life changes similar to changes I want to make in mine. Granted, I don’t have to transition from any film and TV exposure, but writing, reading, exercise, sound sleep and healthy love of beer are really good things for me, my depression and my ability to be a better, more thoughtful person for others. And exercise has been the easiest for me to change as well. Thanks for the insight!
Taylor Swift? Ugh but more power to you. Keep it up
Wil, you’re the neighbor I wish I had! It would be great to have a few beers and pick your brain. Great article!
Amazing. I am a first time visitor to site….very open and insightful essay. Self-knowledge is the most powerful asset anyone can have, and sharing it with the public is brave and inspiring. Thank you for your words.
It’s “regularly”, not regulary. A writer should know this.
I’ve learned the hard way that, no matter how passionate I am about language and usage and proofreading, NO ONE ELSE IS. Let it go, Catherine. Wasted time, energy, and arrogance. It’s a new world.
It’s quite possible that it was an accidental typo. Like how sometimes we type “teh” instead of “the” because we’re typing too fast. I have no doubt Wil is aware of the right word.
Hey, Will…
I was thinking about what you said regarding writing. I’ve often thought that having a writing partner would help me be more efficient as a writer – by spurring creativity, getting back up during “blocks” and the simple fact that accountability has a way of helping me be more productive in a shorter amount of time.
Have you used/considered a writing partner? Do you find/think you are more prolific with a partner?
Good and encouraging
Wil, did it ever feel like you had build a “protective” she’ll around yourself built of words and sarcasm? If so, was it functioning to protect you or to isolate you?
Darn autocorrect! She’ll = shell
Build = built
The fact that the only things wrong in your life seemed to be drinking too much beer and not watching enough movies basically meant I didn’t read past the first bit. Some of us have real problems – you didn’t need a reboot. I thought this would actually be about turning your life around. What a ridiculous and whiny idea for a post.
Did you read truly not read anything past the first bit? Then I don’t think you should bother to comment because you missed Wil talking about some actual “real” problems, like depression. If you only read the first paragraph, you missed a lot and your comment comes off as incredibly insulting and clueless, not to mention lacking in compassion for someone else’s struggles.
What a ridiculous and whiny way to respond to someone’s heartfelt expression of some things he went through in his life.
i did not like it
Wil, thanks for your honesty. It takes courage to admit what you did, and I’m grateful because I’m having the EXACT same problems, including the beer. Your words are inspiring and a big help, just when I needed it. Don’t stop writing! Lee
Thank you so much for this,I am not alone !!!
Hi Will, Great writings..Conclusion – We need to Reboot .. A must in Life
Hi Wil. Thanks for the gift of your current reality. I have found that living through hard times helps me to be of help to others whose circumstances are like my own. I have also found that I worry less when I have faith. Worry is something that really doesn’t serve us well at all. You are a talented guy with a lot of good insights and people in your life. Keep drawing on those resources and trust that you will be okay. Never thought I would see you on Big Bang Theory. Funny how the world unfolds. Hang in there, Brother.
Most of the things mentioned are pretty common to many which we are aware but simply ignore. We all just need that ‘Kick’ to come out of those excuses and get on to ‘Just Do It’.
Thank you for your post, Wil! I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a long time since I’ve read your blog and seen your stuff, because life. But this post made it to the top of one of the emails I was about to automatically delete, and when I saw the headline and your name, I decided to click. Why? Well it turns out I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately. My anxiety isn’t too bad these days, but I’m ALWAYS tired and feeling discouraged about myself and right now, I wonder how I can be a teacher who cares AND take care of myself.
Your post helped remind me that I have to make the committment to take care of myself, the same way I make the commitment to be the best teacher and partner I can be. Otherwise, I will continue to have those “too tired-body hurts-mirror check-canned sauce is easier-too sleepy to read-never any time” sensations, and nothing will change.
Surprisingly, our lists are quite similar. I also want to read and write more, eat better and exercise more, and need to find ways to fix what doesn’t work instead of just using the excuses as a way out. I also want to paint/create more, and have started on the drinking/snacking less. My sleep has been MESSED over the past few weeks due to stress, but overall, I think I’m working on that too. So it was extremely helpful to read about the little changes you have made, and how you’ve tried to fit it all in despite “time”.
Once again, thank you. I’m (just a teeny bit) more inspired, and maybe that’s enough to get started on one more of the list items, or at least to kill off a couple of excuses. It’s nice to see that after all these years, we are still more alike than I thought 🙂
(Logging in with Twitter, but you probably remember me as starshine_diva.)
Hi Naila! Good to see you again! I love that you’re still reading my dumb blog.
Pfft. Your dumb blog is way better than mine. Pretty sure it’s been a whole year since I’ve updated that.
Keep writing!
Fabulous blog. Thank you. So easy to relate to and identify with all this. And now I know I am a little less alone, I feel all the stronger to make my own, similar, reboot.
Here’s another book you might want to add to your reading list: ‘10% Happier’ by Dan Harris of ABC News.
There is good news and bad news…
The good news is that there is always hope for improvement and a person can always grow.
The bad news is that people don’t change unless we are referring to a soiled pair of underwear, I mean metaphorically
In life, there is change and then there is diddling yourself introspective incense and candle light change.
You might think there’s something to it but talking to yourself in the mirror may not be the best way to judge it.
This looks more like the daily redacted version to put on a task list of a new year’s resolution than a cold hard look at one’s self.
Therefore as an act of selfless TLC, I will give myself license to rewrite and fine-tune this pussy list, as i see it.
This is my little list
as follows,
1) Be less stupid
2) Be less lazy
3) Be smarter
Maybe everyone should have a flashcard with that written on it in their pockets and maybe also the occasional billboard on highways and busses too, occasional only because if too frequent, the stupid in us would probably subconsciously interpret it as sign to do the opposite.
First let’s look at drink less beer;
That looks like code for “sitting on my ass and being an alcoholic and good for nothing waste of oxygen”
translated…
stop being an indulgent self destructive dufus, are you that lazy and stupid? see 1) & 2)
read more; see 3)
watch more movies; sorry cancelled by rule 1) and a little bit 3)
get better sleep; following rule 2) will fix that
eat better food; see 2)
exercise more; see 2)
Looks to me if one concentrates and put all their efforts if only on 2) the rest would follow and really 2) will be supplanted by 1) which is in turn is an extension of or another way to interpret 3)
I say fuck being happy.
The only hope, if any, is to discover success in any form and stick with it and never look back, especially in the dirty mirror of a gas station, under fluorescent lighting after a long night of drinking.
Reading it over,i sound kindof assholy there but my intention is to project a dispassionate toughened outlook like the one you might have climbing a tough hill.
Peace, love, and all that….
Hi Wil,
Thanks for writing this very inspiring piece. I love it!
My mother always pushed me to set numerous, constant goals, so your ideas help to clarify this process.
I am about to open my journal and brainstorm like a freak…
And I also want to tell you that I apply your mindset to my teaching. As a public school teacher, we are often told how to teach by people less qualified than ourselves, and I always reject that outside influence.
So one way I have applied your thinking is to let my students get messy, make mistakes, and let their creativity soar by incorporating story time into our schedule. They choose a calendar picture, a writing partner, and then go about the rambling process of writing a shared story.
Then we all get to sit back and listen to the storytellers unfold their narratives and savor the experience.
It is a huge post but never once did i stop reading. I liked the simplicity of the post, you didn’t try to use esoteric and professional words. The things were something that even I can follow, they are not hard to remember and neither are easy to follow.
I am happy for the fact that you have taken this step. I intend to follow you to get out of this quagmire that I have stuck myself into.
Love this post: I love that it isn’t demanding, commanding. You laid it all out in such a simple, well-stated, un-intimidating way it’s inspiring. Yeah, I can do this, too! Thanks so much!
And Yes, “The War of Art” is a must read for every writer who can’t get writing for whatever reason. Another true gem: Bird by Bird.
Hey Wil, good luck to you with your changes – you’re not alone and are brave to accept these things and make changes, especially publicly.
Re the exercise stuff, if you’re interested in getting fitter and healthier in an efficient and evidence-based way, you might enjoy Doug McGuff and John Little’s “Body by Science” which is a marvellous book about what modern science says are the quickest, safest and healthiest ways to get fitter. I have a chronic health condition and even in my slightly offbeat scenario the approach has been enormously helpful.
Thanks Wil for posting this so honestly and heartfelt at a time when I am in need of reassurance and validation of my life’s reboot as well.
This is my first time on your site too, in fact I only know who you are by seeing you on “The Big Bang Theory” for which I love. I will be sure to come back to your site often. Thanks again.
Here is my little story :
I have been in an extremely bad relationship for the past 2 years which has been riddled with verbal and emotional abuse along with some mild physical violence also. I believe I am now ready to face my fear and my partner and get out before something serious happens and begin the rebooting process of my new life’s journey!
Thanks again Wil and good luck to you in your new journey as well.
I read every single one of your almost 3500 words. Awesome piece! Thank you and best of luck with your reboot.
I went through something like this myself three years ago – high blood pressure and 50 pounds overweight. I radically changed my eating habits, started counting steps with a Fitbit, and like you, eventually started running. The key though was simple – more exercise. I highly, highly recommend that you look into getting a treadmill desk. It’s easy to spend hours on the treadmill, walking miles upon miles, while still getting work done, getting your Internet time in, or even watching those movies you want to watch. Trust me, it works.
You can easily build your own too, like I did: http://realsqlguy.com/building-redneck-treadmill-desk/
I have been dragging along with unfinished projects, an untidy house, behind on everything for months and have had a hard time just getting going as everything seems so overwhelming. I’m pretty old, and of all the personal demons I’ve faced, the worst were the middle-of-the-night panic attacks…nothing scarier than waking up that way and it takes so long to settle back down and then exhaustion the next day. One starts to dread going to sleep.
Thank you so much for your inspiring post.
I’m also a first time visitor to your site, Wil, and I enjoyed this post. The part that stuck with me most was when you mentioned turning 40 and suddenly gaining weight and your body hurting all the time. I just turned 30 and already I am worried about this. I’m shit at writing creatively, but neither do I read much. You make a good case for the reading/writing feeding into each other dynamic. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
i’m sorry i am not open enough to say what i would truly want to say to you. you and your words are very important to me Wil . never give up.
Wow. Thanks for sharing. I will have to pass this on to others.I have to press the reset button on my life as well and this was very encouraging.
Really loved this. I can relate, I’m going through the same process.
Thank you for writing this. I can tell you know you are very, very lucky to have a spouse who is your partner in this.
My reboot so close I can taste it–I’m just waiting for an inheritance to kick in and I’m out of here. I am really looking forward to divorcing my zombie/vampire/husband of 25 years and moving back to NYC, my home, where there are sidewalks to walk on, trains and buses to get you places that matter, and tons of things to do and see to excite the mind. I’m verging on 60, and I don’t want to grow old regretting that I didn’t live my life. I’m not living my life right now and haven’t for years. I’m bookmarking this page so I can come back and reread once I escape.
I started eating right about a year ago, so my brain is a lot clearer than it was: no dairy and no wheat, which means the carb belly is disappearing slowly; half my diet is leafy green vegetables, all per my endocrinologist’s orders. I’m pretty sure the ice-cream-swilling, pizza-chomping zombie/vampire/ex-husband will fall apart once I leave, as any fifty-year-old who eats like a nineteen-year-old inevitably will, but he’s not my responsibility any longer. It is so difficult to stop caring: I bought him a beautiful new coat to replace the shabby old one he had that he was perfectly happy with; why did I do that? I have to remind myself that he’s going to have to scrape along as best he can when I’m gone; he’s certainly not tried to hide the fact that he’s ever so chipper about a future without me.
My discovery that he took money out of our bank account and pumped it into his dying business in a sort of reverse-embezzlement scheme shook me, but we talked and agreed the problem was he wasn’t communicating enough and that trying to hide his business woes from me so I wouldn’t get worried was a bad move. My discovery that he had an affair with a woman who is currently the same age I was when we got married was the game-changer that finally caused me to write this marriage off. So now I’m using the power of the upper-hand to withdraw as gracefully as I can: big smiles, “we’re so much better as friends, right? Right?!”, and then good-bye forever; flashback to the opening of The Mary Tyler Moore Show where she moves to Minneapolis.
I may throw my hat in the air on 42nd Street and Sixth Avenue just for fun.