73 thoughts on “Not because it is easy, but because it is hard.”

1. I just wanted to say thank you for posting these. I am really interested in your perspective on maintaining this focus on personal improvement. I am also struggling with depression and it’s impact on pretty much every aspect of my life, so it is helpful to get the viewpoint of someone who’s been there.

   1. Seconded! I mostly follow you on Tumblr, but I click through for these.

2. Getting on anxiety meds was one of the best choices I ever made for myself, and I’m glad to see that you are experiencing good things too. I’m so glad we have the chemistry & technology to provide what our brains aren’t making enough of (or doing right).

   Cheers to you as always, Wil. Your check-in posts are inspiring.

3. You got this! Take a class! I went back to school at 36, so it’s not hard 🙂

4. I just started a workout plan that the end result will be 250 minutes per week of cardio and has it been the worst time to start that! I missed 15 minutes last week but I’ve almost made up for it this week and I skipped a walk outside with hub originally due to the heat and then because my foot felt tight. I’m just going to add 5 minutes to the stationary bike planned workouts because the last thing I need is to re injure my foot! But I figure if I can even kinda make it work during a horrible heatwave, I’ll be good for doing it the rest of my life which is really important to me. I only consider changes that are lifelong these days. No more insane fad diets and exercise routines like 2 hours every day of cardio and eating under 1200 calories (did that for a time and gained more weight than I started with!).

5. Keep going it sounds like you’re doing a great job!! I started a sort of similar thing on June 1st where I’m trying to get to 10k steps a day, drink more water, traded coffee for green tea, eat only non processed foods, record what I’m eating, and do an ab challenge. I’ve been mostly successful except for succumbing to tater tots at Wahlburgers, and splitting a couple of bottles of wine, a pound of cheese and a loaf of bread with a friend one night. Down 8 lbs anyway. I’m looking forward to seeing your next project. If you want to watch more movies and listen to music while you workout checkout my company’s app at Flixfling. Stay cool in the heat!

6. I have even greater admiration for you, Wil. I have had a couple of meltdowns in the last month or so and even though it wasn’t about me (various news items) I still took it too hard. So I went to the doctor and he changed my meds. It turns out that eventually one develops a tolerance to certain drugs and they must be changed. But I think you already knew that. So, keep on doing what you’re doing. You are amazing!

7. I have been struggling a lot with some similar things recently and reading this has helped a lot. The major thing for me has been motivation in pretty much every aspect of my life. I have been struggling to do even the simplest jobs at work or at home and sometimes it can even be difficult to motivate my self to see my friends. A little while ago i read a post on reddit which hit home. I am usually the kind of guy that see’s such posts and thinks “That’s not for me” and moves on. This one though hit home on at least a couple of points and I have been trying to implement its ideas to varying degrees of success. You may have seen this already however it is worth re-reading if you have: https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/cdah4af

   The thing that really struck home with this post was the concept of the 3 you’s. In particular forgiving past you. The worst part about screwing up is not the direct result of it, its the beating yourself up afterwards about it. Put very simply, don’t. Having read your posts relating to this sort of stuff has helped me overcome another hurdle in the process to being a more motivated me and i wanted to say thank you.

   I also wanted to say thank you for all of the awesome stuff that you do. Table top really got me and my group of friends into board games. So much so that i have managed to get my work inspired and they are now going to have board games available for us to play at lunch times. Titansgrave was amazing too and having read your comments relating to how those 2 show’s are not completely yours i simply wanted to say this: I can’t wait to see/read/listen to something that is completely yours because i know it will be awesome.

8. Good job Wil! I know you can keep it up and reach your goals.

9. Hey, Wil, if you feel like you might watch more movies if you had someone to watch them with, check out http://rabb.it — it’s a virtual browser that incorporates a chatroom and webcam chat that can handle all the major streaming services (Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, etc.). It’s kind of hard to put into words, but if you point your browser at the URL you’ll get the gist.

   So if you’d like to watch a movie “together with” a friend who’s far away, you can. I’ve been trading off right to pick movie and TV shows with a friend of mine, and we’ve both been getting exposed to stuff at each other’s behest we might never have chosen to watch for ourselves, as well as enjoying the other’s reactions to our own favorite shows.

   Might be a cool way for you to share even more cool stuff with remote friends. And though I know you don’t know me from Adam (even though you did reblog my eulogy for Ficlets once), I’d always be up for watching something fun together with you if you felt like it. 🙂

10. Regular exercise is one of those things I NEED to be happy and keep depression at bay. That and time in the mountains. Those two things help me get out of bed. I feel really fortunate that this is enough for me most of the time.

    I also had ‘drink less beer’ on my list this year. Not really a resolution, but just an awareness. And let me say that I love beer. A lot. But, I’ve been not drinking any alcohol a few nights a week and limiting my weekly count as well. The great thing for me is that it means I get to try new beers more regularly. Or at least that’s how it feels. When I go out now, there is probably a beer I haven’t tried on the menu. I love trying new beer, so it makes me really happy. I also notice that I crave alcohol less. It’s a nice freedom.

    Anyway, way to take care of yourself and thanks for sharing this. It’s really interesting to see how others self-evaluate, especially when it surprises you that they have any self-doubt whatsoever.

11. Hey Wil,

    Have you looked into ZMA (zinc and magnesium ) and/or 5-htp supplementation for sleep? Most of us are deficient in those minerals even with a multivitamin and taking those before bed will really help you sleep better (even if you only get a few hours ). It’s been a game changer for me.

    1. I tried ZMA, but I woke up with the worst headache I’ve ever had, and it lasted all day. I tried reducing the dose to a single capsule, but it still wrecked me. I guess I’m super sensitive to it or something. I can’t recall why, but I’m not supposed to take 5-HTP for some reason or another.

    2. There’s also magnesium hand lotion you can buy (I found some on amazon) that your skin will absorb just as much as you need. It’s helped with my sleep and it seems to be calming too. Though it might just be a placebo.

12. Great to hear you are doing awesome at these!

    My question was what about your homebrewing? Have you pretty much pushed those bits to the side along with your beer drinking? Or is your son keeping it up?

    1. I decided to stop drinking entirely in January, but I hadn’t had time to homebrew since … gosh, late last summer, I think. I haven’t been brewing, because it seems silly to make something I’m not going to drink, I don’t have the space for it anyway, and lack of time is still a factor.

       I’ve been scratching the same itch by learning to roast coffee beans, and by baking different kinds of bread.

       1. Roasting coffee beans? That sounds amazing.

       2. Why not both with “Wil Wheaton’s Coffee Bread”. That toast would be…interesting.

       3. Have a look into that new coffee flour they are experimenting with?

13. I’m the same age as you, have depression and anxiety like you, and am seriously craving creative outlet like you. The struggle is real, man, and I really do think that “mid life crisis” is a thing, in some form or another. I just wanted to give you huge kudos for keeping the reboot up and being honest and open about your struggles. I don’t have the energy or discipline to attempt such a thing at the moment (we’re in the middle of selling our house and buying a new one and getting ready for our daughter to start kindergarten, while trying not to get fired for being late every.single.day), but when I DO get to that point, you will be my inspiration! You’re doing a great job!

14. I am one of those who is feeling uncomfortable. It is strange and it is scary. It makes me feel like I am losing my mind.

15. As an outside viewer, I think the upward trend and the more honest response to the “grades” is as much a sign of how you are improving your life as any of the items in one particular area. You have had months where you were very critical of yourself and probably did better than this month. Either it is a sign of better self-recognition (beating the mental illness down to a manageable place) or your rationalizing. I don’t perceive that, though. You seem to be nailing the self-awareness side of this project. Outstanding work!

16. I really appreciate the frank way you look at how you’re doing. It’s not a crisis to not be on top of things all the time. Shifts are uncomfortable, but ultimately worth it when you approach things like you are.

17. I don’t remember whether I’ve already recommended this to you, but my favorite two “movie deconstruction” series right now are Movies With Mikey, with which I know you are well acquainted, and Every Frame a Painting, by Tony Zhou. Check it out on the YouTube; the videos are self-contained, so you can pick anything that looks interesting. It’s fantastic and I always feel like I’ve learned something after watching an Every Frame installment.

18. Good work man, I appreciate you putting out there what you feel comfortable – it can’t be easy. A friend of mine lost her husband last week due to suicide. Mental illness sucks. Keep going.

19. Again, it’s a lot of personal stuff

    Werewolf. Put me down for werewolf.

    (Also possible I’ve been watching too much Penny Dreadful).

    1. Apache werewolf.

20. Thumbs up from some random asshole on the internet. Keep it up, Wil – you’re doing great.

21. Anxiety is a bitch. Just last week I was feeling off, and it took two full days of my wife asking me what was wrong before I realized that I was having anxiety symptoms again. I’m thankful to have medications as an option if I need it, but also thankful for a spouse who is OK just letting me hide in my room for a night if I need to.

22. Wil,
    Sometimes I think you overthink yourself. You accept that objective observation is the best way to do things, but then you go off the rails thinking something else. Life is what it is. Most things don’t change randomly. You have the luxury of being married and having a family that can give you a constant feedback of whether or not you’re mad. I’d follow your wife and kids observations and then evaluate if you’re doing well or if your perception is faulty.

    Sadly, we’re all humans, so if your son is angry with you his perception of you will change (Emotional General Relativity). But I always measure my mental health with my parents firstly, despite my emotional objective observation. e.g. I feel sad… I ask my parents, “I feel sad do I seem sad?” I get their objective response from my dad, a subjective response from my mom because she’s got this stupid thing called empathy.

    If something seems wrong, I ask for more advice from both, and eventually they come to a consensus. But a consensus is never scientific, but typically ok for every day living.

    Mental Health is not a joke and I hope I’m not making light of it. I don’t think medication is ultimately the answer, but I do know it helps some people. We’re a vast disparate conglomeration of humanity, and some need medication and some don’t. I think you’re better off, from my limited opinion, if you find objective reality and mindset, through diet and observation. But people have different brain chemistry. I’m the first to admit I don’t know.

    Good Luck, don’t stress it,

    Jaman

23. Thank you and keep up the good work! ☺👍

24. Just a thought regarding the alcohol and your knowing you could have one, but choose not to: I read something ages ago that advised one to say “I don’t eat that” instead of “I can’t eat that” when dieting. Now, I’m not a dieting person (all things in moderation, not EAT THIS NOT THAT), but the advice, I think, is sound. You can drink beer. You choose not to. Well done!

    As for the rest, it’s up and downs, man. We all fail and succeed every day. I haven’t been running like I should, but I’m reading more and writing a bit, so…yeah. Ups and downs.

25. 2.8 is much better than 0.none, so there is that…you’re doing great in some areas, and you’re aware of the areas you want to improve on, so that is good. And more than anything I hear that you want to keep going and shine in all your life because it is worth it (YOU are worth it). Sooner, later, as long as you keep “the wanting” strong you’ll get there!

26. I teared up while reading your post, Wil. It’s is so personal for me because I felt like I was reading something I myself have written about me and my mood swings and depression. I know you don’t even know I exist but I just want you to know how connected I feel to you. I’ve been a fan of yours since the day I first saw Stand By Me in the theaters. I grew up with you following your career and seeing how you’ve accomplished so much as an actor, an author, a comedian, a spokesperson for so many of us who have been called nerds or picked on in our lives. To me Wil, you’ve been such a positive part of my life. And just knowing you go through depression makes me feel even closer to you, just knowing the celebrity I most love and admire feels like I do at times. I feel less alone and less ashamed to admit I have depression and mood swings now because it’s good when a celebrity publicly admits they suffer from depression because it gets the voice out there. I’ll never forget when Tom Cruise (Mr. Scientology and thinks he knows-it-all, himself) made Brook Shield’s depression seem like a hormonal or chemical imbalance that could be fixed with vitamins and one shouldn’t be using anti-depressants. He lessened the importance of how much depression is harmful for someone. Depression isn’t a hormonal or chemical imbalance that can be fixed with just vitamins, it’s a sickness that can take over your entire life and lead to a very bad place if not treated medically or the person doesn’t take control over it. Thank you so much Wil for your courage and strength to speak out about your depression and mental illness. Talking about it not only is helping you but it’s helping so many of us who are also going through it. You’re our voice for showing how much a demon mental illness and depression is on it’s victims and for that, I thank you! And you’re my inspiration, for writing down everything negative and positive you’ve been doing in the recent months and realizing you have to improve on the negative and continue with the positive. I now am going to write down my own list of what’s been positive and negative in my ways and try and accomplish changing the negatives into positives. I never thought about that approach before, but I feel so eager to try it and for the first time, I feel positive it may be a path to a better way of controlling my depression. Thank you Wil, for being so awesome! When some of my childhood friends were crushing over the “Coreys” (Corey Feldman and Corey Haim), I was loving you and I told them they got it all wrong. Boy, was I ever right. I knew I chose right! 😉 ❤

    Keep up on the reboot, Wil! I’m sooo proud of you! And I’m going to follow suit and make my loved ones proud of me too!
    Take care, my first crush, my forever favorite actor, my inspiration, and most “awesome” dude!,
    From a fan since the teenage years ❤

27. Wow. I wish you could hear the cacophonous mess of chords this set off in my head. I haven’t been in the right headspace to read anyone’s blog in quite a while. Tonight (well actually this morning), Google and Feedly conspired to put you at the top of my Google Now. After trekking through your Reboot posts, I realize this is exactly what I didn’t know I was desperately seeking.

    Now all I have to do is let it bounce around for a few weeks while I beat myself up for not getting started, and then I’ll be ready to see what I can do with it.

28. This is actually where I find my Fitbit really useful. If you continue to not exercise, you will start to see and feel changes in the wrong direction. I find it helpful at those moments to look at the data and see that there is a clear reason: I have stopped exercising. My Depression can make up all the stories it wants, but when I look those data in the face, I know there’s something I can do to feel better. It’s not easy to start exercising again, but it is in my control, which as I’m sure you know can be a really big deal when Depression is telling you everything sucks and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.

    Hang in there. The bad days come, but remember that the good days come too.

29. Wil, you mention reading more. I’d like to do the same as well, but don’t have a clue as to what is a good book to read. Any suggestions?

30. Wil,

    I really appreciate these posts. I started my own reboot about 3 years ago and there have been ups and downs. These posts have been a great way to evaluate where I am at with my own efforts, helping reinforce what is going well and work on what is not going so well. Your last paragraph really nails where I have been at for awhile and knowing that helps keep me going.

    Great job and many thanks for sharing.

31. Oh thank you, Wil… the last week or so I’ve been completely off. I got to that wonderful space prior to that of “Hey, I’m doing so well, maybe I can wean myself off of my meds…” I’m so wrong.

    Maybe I should really start taking my physical health more seriously. Maybe these occasional dips into depression would be more palatable.

    These posts help so much. It’s proof of the mind body connection. Thanks for sharing… 🙂

32. I noticed one glaring omission in this update. I’m speaking, of course, about popcorn. Has it been supplanted entirely by ice cream as your carbohydrate mistress?

    Although given the weather here in LA lately I can’t say I blame you if so!

    1. Oh my god the popcorn. I love it, but I don’t go to town with it, because that would be bad.

       1. Fantastic, glad to hear it! I found there’s just enough ritual with making the popcorn to both make it more satisfying and also curtail pure dumb animal snacking impulses.

          If you like ice cream, have you tried Taiwanese shaved snow? Very unique texture that is hard to describe but completely delicious. You can even have it arguably healthy-ish as a bonus! Can be found around town in all sorts of unexpected places (eg the basement floor of the Burbank mall).

33. Thank you for sharing. The bad habits covering up things which are good to uncover but feel uncomfortable… has been the theme of my last couple weeks. I am (un)surprised that the world has sent me this message again. Thanks for being a messenger and letting me see “me” in this post.

34. Roasting Coffee! Haha, Wonderful. I’m currently using a Behmor 1600+ programmable. If I had it to do over again I might step up to a HotTop or try to find a decent used commercial sample roaster. I started with small air poppers and … uggh. They’re fiddly. The Behmor is a nice little machine though, if you can forgive its face-palm-worthy “safety features” which occasionally ruin a roast. That being said, it can produce a good roast if you pre-heat the machine before roasting and then start gentle – like a P3 profile – and add maximum time before the roast begins so the machine doesn’t time-out before you’re happy with the roast. Finally, handle the temperature and drum speed manually as you approach first crack. Oh, and I’ve found that roasting a pound at a time gives me better results than a quarter or half a pound. The less coffee mass you’re roasting, the faster things happen and the shorter your development periods are. The shorter development times give you less interesting flavor profiles and the rapid development of the roast is challenging, particularly if you’re learning. If you start with 16oz of beans, you’ll wind up with 13.4 to 13.7oz of coffee. Use a scale or three-beam balance until you get a feel for roast levels. Beans vary, but generally, 13% to 13.5% water loss by weight is just barely coffee… Boston roast… bright syrupy & tart with tea and chicory flavors. 17.5% to 18% is usually in the French Roast range. 14.5% to 15% is generally tart with some fullness… a “nice light coffee”. 16% to 17% is a good Portland/Seattle coffee-house kind of range… deep fruits with some baking chocolate, but still has some varietal character and not turbid or chalky as over-roasted coffees can be. Grinders are really important too. More than a person might at first think. Extraction is a function of time & pressure acting on granule size. The more even the grind, the more consistent the extraction. If your grinder is producing “dust & chunks” then the big particles will be under-extracted and add a flat cardboard flavor, and the small particles will be over-extracted and bring out bitterness. I use a Baratza Virtuoso, despite the fancy name, it’s made by a small company in Seattle and is hands down the best reasonably priced home grinder I’ve ever used.

    Roasting coffee is kind of like that old (really old) arcade game “Lunar Lander”. . Success is all about pace because it determines how far you can take the roast without overshooting the landing pad and hitting the mountain. Lol. The trick is to hit the first crack with enough energy to be able to pull back gently on the heat and extend the development period without stalling. It’s a real “Skee-ball” kind of zen. You’ll get it though, and the results are worth it – and its fun to boot.

    Rock on. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better.

    Well, or rather

    “Roast on” 😉

    1. Thank you for your advice and for sharing your experience! I’m at the early stages of the learning curve, and every bit of information is extremely useful and helpful.

35. “Doing something about it” is empowering and uplifting, isn’t it? Even if it is just little things. You don’t feel helpless; you don’t feel a victim. Good for you, Wil. Sorry to hear about all the other stuff coming up now that other things have been cleared away. No matter how old we get, we can always learn something new. About ourselves and/or the world in general. Someone who is learning and changing for the better is someone who is honest with themselves and not afraid to learn something new. Good on you, Wil. Thanks for sharing with us.

36. Good job so far. Keep it up.

    I know giving up beer must have been hard. However, think about that huge beer-gut one gets when constantly guzzling it and that is enough to keep staying away from it. I’m curious though, Wil, what junkfood did you find most difficult to give up? Mine was pizza and hot-wings.Though, technically, I can’t say I fully gave them up. I have them once a month and I treat it as a reward to myself for sticking to my lifestyle changes. I also get a plain cheese pizza instead of lots of toppings like I used to. Every little bit helps.

    And if I ever start seeing myself go back to my bad habits, I think about my family and how I want to be there for my wife and to see my kids get married and have their own kids. I don’t want to be one of those obese husbands/fathers that die and leave behind their loved-ones too soon because it was my own fault for not taking care of myself. That is enough incentive for me to keep going. So Wil, if you start going back to your bad habits, think about your wife and boys and that should be enough to get your through the hard times. You have much to live for.

    1. Giving up junk food was easy, because I don’t really like junk food to begin with. My diet is super healthy, and I don’t really have a sweet tooth, so it wasn’t really an issue. The interesting thing, however, is that I have developed a taste for ice cream, and I have a scoop almost every day, now.

       But, like I said, all things in moderation.

       1. You sir, are one in a million. How is it you, or anyone can not like junk food? I wish I could be like you. I have been good staying away from junkfood for the most part but it’s not like I could give it up forever and not miss it. Well Wil, you’ve got that as one extra thing going for you on staying on track with your reboot. Good for you. One less bad habit to focus on.

          Yeah, ice cream is another pleasure of mine as well, especially now in the summertime. I pick up a container of ice cream in the groceries once in a while and do exactly what you do, have one scoop in a day. That isn’t going to railroad any progress and I find it helps curb my cravings for sweets.

37. Re: Read more category… I know you don’t have a lot of time but have you consider a virtual book club?

    Also, What about Audiobooks? Maybe you could listen to a book while you have downtime in between projects during the day?

    I started listening to an audiobook during my commute and on lunch. I also like it because I don’t have to carry a large book with me.

    What types of books are you interested in reading? Do you/have you listen to any literary podcasts?

    I would recommend Literarydisco.

    1. I’ve tried audiobooks, but I find that my mind wanders and starts thinking about what sort of creative things I can make of my own. That doesn’t happen with podcasts, for some reason. It’s weird.

38. HI Wil,

    Thanks for continuing to post these. I am going through treatment fro chronic illness, that makes doing many things outside my control, but the longer your reboot goes on the more encouragement I get about doing the things I can.

    Depression is part of the illness and the treatment, and well as some anxiety symptoms that are subtle enough and different from the way anxiety is usually portrayed, that I sometimes don’t think of them as anxiety. Anyway I’ve noticed that a lot of people seem to have been struggling during the same period that you have. Jenny Lawson mentioned the same on her blog. I’ve go no explanation for why, but hopefully it’s helpful to know you are far from alone right now.

    Also I have a kid with anxiety and I’m so grateful for you talking about your struggles publicly. I know it’s going to be easier for her growing up in a world with less stigma. One thing that has helped her aside from CBT, is addressing some sensory processing issues. I was reading your blog around the time she got diagnosed and I noticed that some of the things that are triggering for you are also triggering for her-crowds, etc. It made me curious if you’d ever done any work or reading around that?

39. When you first started this, I questioned the wisdom of making something like this public. I mean, i’ts pretty easy to fudge. Especially once your overall weight hits the target. But when I put some more thought into it, I guess I am kind of envious. Putting things into this kind of format at this interval is a great way to take advantage of a forum of onlookers that not a TON of people could duplicate. Also, it deputizes a group of would-be monsters in such a way that those with the tendency toward the negative seem to roll their reflexive hatred into an attitude of paternal accountability. While those that are positive remain that way. So I guess, I wish I had access to something similar, as my 41-year old form (which is not yet final) has recently discovered that getting inspired is the easiest thing on Earth to do when it is compared with STAYING inspired.

    I do hope this continues to go well for you. And Looking forward to season 4 of Tabletop!

    1. I spent a lot of time debating whether to make this public, and to make my updates like this one public.

       Ultimately, I decided that I had this opportunity to inspire people, and to maybe help people out by sharing my successes and struggles, so that’s what keeps me coming back and posting updates.

40. Hey Will we all have our vood days and bad, don’t think for one second that u r alone. From one person to the next that knows first hand that has, is, and unfortunatly will be going through life with the toubles of deppresion and anxiety. I know just how bad it can get….It does get better and easyer as tome goes by eap withe the help of good friends. Wish I could say more, or maybe more sooner? Never forget people care for u, even at your lowest.

    1. Oh, sweet, wtf. Yeah wrote this on my Ipad, looked fine when sent it obvs not. So sry for spelling, grammer, etc. Will not let me edit, doh!

41. Hey Wil, I’ve been following your reboot progress and was inspired to start running again myself. I’m especially enjoying zombies run, which I never would’ve heard about if not for you. I just got signed up for this fall’s virtual race and was wondering if are you going to be running in it too?

    1. I am!

42. As a fellow writer who isn’t writing dick (FWWIWD?), I sympathize, Whil (thanks to Family Guy, I think I’ll go through my entire life seeing your name like that)

    We need to start some sort of FWWIWD Support Group Hosted by Wil Wheaton (FWWIWDSGHBWW? We’re gonna need a bigger t-shirt) for people who want to write — who are DYING to write — but for some reason the gears aren’t snapping into place. Sad thing is, I know it isn’t writer’s block. Writer’s block always strikes me as something that you can break through. The inspiration hits, and BAM, you’re through.

    This is more along the lines of “writer’s tar” — something that’s holding me back but I’d still be able to plow through if I’m willing to lose my shoes in the process.

    As for cons, I have no idea how you do it to begin with. I just attended my first as a peon (Vidcon), and had zero fun at all. Sure, I went for my pre-teen kids (they enjoyed it. which was the best part of the trip for me), but the whole atmosphere was something I wasn’t terribly interested in — I was never interested in cons for stuff I’m interested in (which, at last count, was pretty much everything nerdy). So going to one I had no interest in was not terribly exciting.

    And I was just there. I’m super impressed with anyone who goes to those things as a “person of importance”, because it seems like it would be exhausting (so great job on deciding on your limitations. We can all deal with one less insane actor, driven to that point by too much pressure. Heck, on your healthier food plan, you probably can’t even have Tiger’s Blood — all those carbs)

43. I actually went ahead and did that hole “big change in my life” thing. It’s being tough. I moved a 10.000 miles away, where I didn’t know anything or anyone. I have that social anxiety that keeps me from socializing much. A specially low point was my birthday, and the fact that I missed everything back home. But, the one think that made it all better was starting my certificate program at UCLA Extension.
    I’m taking marketing and creative courses because, although I’m 28 and an archaeologist, I want to get into the geek industry (videogames, boardgames, comic books and merchandise), which is what I really love in life, and every class helps me get there a little bit more. Theres a whole department on film and entertainment studies, and I’m pretty sure you can take courses in film analysis. Let me know if you’d like more info.
    I haven’t checked if I have depression and anxiety because I really fear that if I get diagnosed I will give everything up. So this creative courses help me stay on the right track, do something new everyday and not overthink my life too much. BTW, I saw Whiskey Tango Foxtrot last night and I think it was a wonderful movie. With the whole life changing adventure thing going on in my life, I could relate to the plot. I really liked it but as they say in spanish: “para gustos, los colores”.

    Anyhow, thanks for the inspiration. Too bad we won’t get one of your great inspiring panels at NerdHQ this year. You’ll be missed.

44. Don’t stop at just losing the weight. You’re already handsome and sexy as f*ck for your age (I’m only 26 and saw you on my favorite tv show TBBT and I now have the hots for you over any of the guys from The Avengers, so that’s saying a lot), why not work out with weights as well? I work out at my local gym and find the combo of cardio-exercises and working with weights keeps you in tip-top physical form and makes you feel you can take on the world. And to further stay as sexy as you do, keep the beard trimmed like you recently have so far and keep your youthful skin hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Follow all that and you’ll stay looking and feeling so young. That takes care of the physical part.

    As for the emotional change, what do you have to be depressed about? You’re a hottie, you have a beautiful family, you’re successful in so many ways, and you have nerds thinking you are God. So yeah, you have haters, just like any other celebrity does. Fck the haters! Think of all the great things you have in your life and say fck off to everything else.

45. Wil – just a note of encouragement. We are roughly the same age, and I know that dealing with depression and the lies in brings can be just plain exhausting. It seems to never end. But just as your default tendency reinforced bad behaviors, so to can choosing good behaviors affect your state. It’s painful, uncomfortable, and difficult. A few years ago I came down with an illness that nearly left me paralyzed, and I could feel my breathing failing. I was down to just each next breath. It was hard. But I came to believe the with each breath there is hope in the next breath. And now, anytime I am stressed or broken, it comes back to breathing. As a christian, I believe that my breath is a gift from God, but for anyone, I think the perspective can be helpful: As long as you are breathing, there is hope, a way up, a way out. Whatever the center of your personal pain and shadow on your journey, You have one fan that sees you from afar, believe in your basic worth and value as a human, and wanted to take a moment on a random afternoon to remind you – You don’t need to earn your right to exist and be appreciated. You are simply breathing. You exist, and the door is open before you. Don’t just hang in there. Get up and walk. Al my best to you, buddy!

46. Wil, i just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your bed head pics on Instagram. I am around the same age as you and am also struggling with depression and anxiety. I’ve changed my diet and have gotten rid of some bad habits and I do feel much better physically. Still trying to wrangle the negative talk in my head but at least I know it for what it is. Completely unrelated to all of this: I’m a pharmacy technician at a large hospital in Philadelphia. We keep leeches in our pharmacy and every time I receive shipment, I think of you. Twice this week. Classic scene from a classic movie. I wish you the best in all your creative endeavors.

    Sincerely,
    Jennifer

47. You know, your post kind of got me thinking. Historically, I have never been a fan of letting it all out on the internet, for all to see. Too many trolls, nay-sayers, and illegitimate comments that come with the price of sharing. But then there’s the positive side effects that posts, such as yours, bring to people. It’s kind of like watching one of those TED talks, where the speaker relates some greater message to the public, through a personal revelation of sorts. Some are funny, some are interesting, and then there are some you can relate to, because you’ve been there, and that is what makes your post great. I saw you at the Montreal Comic Con one or two years back, and was a little bit shy to interrupt you while talking to one of the vendors, but next time I’ll make sure to give you a mighty hand-shake!

48. Wil, thank you. Growing up watching Star Trek, I could relate to Wesley as the loner, dorky kid. Struggling with my own depression issues now, I really want to say thank you for being so open and sharing your own struggles. I’ve been resetting my own life over the past 5 months after a layoff from a job that was driving me further into depression. Eating better, exercising, and finding work that inspires me is making all the difference. I’m taking what feels like the huge leap to start my own business now, with a mission to share the inspiration and the wonders of the night sky. I can trace that straight back to all those years ago watching Star Trek, and being able to relate to that kid who seemed out of place. You are an inspiration, sir! Thank you.

49. Wil – thanks for posting about your journey. I have been posting about mine as well and find it quite therapeutic! You are amazingly brave to put yourself out there as I know it’s not an easy thing to do. Feel free to stop by my blog and look around! I would be honored!
    http://www.bypassingmylife.blogspot.com

50. Wil,

    There are moments in a person’s life where you start doubting everything that you’re doing and just want to give it all up and I know that you’ve felt this way before. It’s awesome that you’ve been able to push through and have the bravery to reset your life and just make a concerted effort to making things that make you happy. I tried a similar “life reboot” a few years ago and felt that I failed in my end goal but succeeded at making changes for the better. As time went on, I started to fall back into that same rut until I listened to a podcast that you did with Chris Hardwick where you talked about anxiety and fears and struggling to just “make your thing.” And finally, for once in recent years, something clicked. I felt inspired and those creative urges came rushing back to me in a flash. Then, I listened to the most recent Radio Free Burrito that I could find (Episode 45 – No Secret Messages) and again, your words galvanized me into realizing that I needed to take action. I’ve started to “make my thing” and more importantly, I’m no longer afraid of failure. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is:

    Thank you, Wil Wheaton. You’re an inspiration, amazing human being and if the past few days have taught me anything it’s that the world could use more people like you.

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