Almost two years ago, I was inspired by all the kids riding bikes in Stranger Things to write a post about a thing that happened when I was the same age as those kids (12 in 1983), and I was riding my bike with my friends.
While I worked on that blog post, other memories from the same time began to percolate up through the thick dried crust that the decades had built up over them, and I started to get this idea … what if I took all these things that happened from like 1982 through 1984, and I used them and the kids who were there as inspiration for a short story? It seemed like a decent idea, so I got to work on it. As I approached ten thousand words, I discovered that there was a lot more story left to tell, so I decided to let it keep on going until it became a novella. When it got there, I still wasn’t done, so I kept going until it was an actual novel.
I ended up calling it All We Ever Wanted Was Everything, because I’m terrible at making up my own titles, and if you look at all of my books, you’ll notice that they are almost always titled after lyrics. It’s a semi-autobiographical work of fiction, about coming of age in the summer of 1983, told by the writer who is revisiting his childhood. Writing it has been one of the most rewarding and satisfying experiences of my entire creative life, even though I got so depressed after the election in 2016, I took almost nine months off from writing it (and doing much of anything creative).
I picked it back up earlier this year, and I began working on it, intensely, every day. It gave me a sense of purpose, creative satisfaction, and the hope that, maybe before too long, I could honestly call myself a novelist. Some days were easier than others, but even on the most challenging day, I never felt like giving up. I never even felt the absolute conviction, which I always feel at some point in a manuscript, that it was the worst thing ever and I was a damn fool for thinking I could write the story. The day I typed THE END for the first time was pretty special, even though I knew it was really just the beginning of the real work, which was the rewrite.
As a lot of you know, we had to vacate our house because of black mold this summer. While we were away, I worked on the rewrites, and as a result I spent much of my summer in my narrator’s version of the summer of 1983, which was pretty awesome. In no small way, working on this story got me through what could have been a not super awesome time.
So.
About three weeks ago, I finished a revision and realized that it was as good as I could make it on my own, and it was time to turn it in to my editor. He took his Red Pen of Doom to it, and sent it back about two weeks ago. It’s been sitting on my computer desktop, looking at me every day while I carefully avoided it, because I was afraid that his notes were going to say some version of, “I know you worked hard on this for a long time, but it’s all crap and here’s why.” Well, I opened it today and got to work on it. I am relieved to report that his notes do not say that. They mostly say some version of, “you don’t need this, and you are getting in the adult narrator’s way, while he tries to stay out of his own way and tell his story. Here’s how you can make this stronger…”
I don’t know how other writers and editors work, but we do this thing where I give him the manuscript, he opens itin LibreOffice, suggests changes and puts in notes that explain why he suggested them, and then he sends it back to me. I go through it, change by change, and accept the changes, respond to the notes, add new stuff as needed, and then send it back. Typically, we’ll do this three or four times before we’re finished.
This time, because he warned me he’d made some deep cuts, I just accepted all the changes at once, then started reading the changed manuscript, to find out if I really missed anything, or felt like something I wanted to fight for had been cut out. Well, it turns out that I didn’t miss anything, and his cuts made the narrative much stronger. I figured we’d end up cutting ten percent, and we only ended up cutting about six percent. That tells me that I did a better job with the draft I turned in than I thought. That note about getting out of the way is a really good one; I see lots of places where I was self-conscious and unsure, so I made the narrator explain himself in places where I should have just let him tell his story. There is literally a single paragraph that I want to fight for, but even as I have thought about fighting for it, I secretly (well, secretly until now) believe that it doesn’t have to be there and nobody will miss it once it’s gone, if we end up cutting it.
While I worked today, I was surprised to notice that I had been missing the characters I created and lived with for so long. I got to again experience that sense of meaningful satisfaction that I had been enjoying every day while I worked on the first draft and its revisions (even on the days when I felt like the words just didn’t want to flow together). I got to get excited and terrified about this novel being really close to finished, and that much closer to being read by real people in the real world.
There’s still some tough work to do. I still need to rewrite the ending (the very fair note on the current ending is “it just … sort of … ends, and you’ve earned a better ending than this one. Go find it.”) and I’m genuinely unsure how to pull that off, but it’s one of those things that I know will be super obvious, right after I metaphorically drag myself over broken glass to find it. But this is the work I want to do. This is what I want and need to be doing with my life, and it feels reasonably good to both know that, and be able to do it.
Have a good weekend, everyone. I hope you get to spend it with awesome people who make you happy.
I’d be interested in seeing a “director’s cut” of your stories sometime.
Thanks for letting us know what to expect. Us new writers, hear so many what to do and not to do, it’s nice to hear the inside story. Good luck to you, can’t wait to read it. Your longtime fan. Renee
I know I’m getting way, way, way ahead of the process, but just wanted to plant this thought: a fundraiser where you ship autographed copies, where some part of the proceeds goes to your favorite (mental health?) charity. Definitely not a request; more of a “I wonder if you & your friends can take this vague idea and make it much cooler” thing.
Best of luck on the rewrite!
I have a great big novel in my head that’s waiting to be written. Wil, you’re living my fantasy. Congratulations and good luck finding that ending. I can’t wait to preorder.
Hello Wil, I enjoyed reading about your journey, and look forward to your book’s release.
In the meantime, I got a kick out of how your editor opens your draft in LibreOffice. Is that choice due to how you write your books, or more your editor’s preference?
(Apologies if I’ve asked a question you’ve already answered in the past)
When we started working together, I was using Debian Linux, and OpenOffice. Over the years, we’ve stayed with the same practice, only changing to LibreOffice a few years ago.
That’s just awesome! Thank you for explaining that. Seeing smart people working with open source solutions inspires me. It’s a geeky, little passion of mine. 😁
Plot twist: I’ve never actually changed over. Still using OpenOffice when I’m not using Word.
OpenOffice is abandon-ware, you really should switch to LibreOffice.
We use LO for Basic Fantasy RPG. It’s easy to add comments, track changes, and compare documents. Layout can sometimes be a pain, but overall it works great!
I appreciate you, Wil. Thank you – and for me, a 52yo sic hetero married two kids nice house King Charles Cavalier – my first meaningful exposure to you was your audiobook work for Ready Player One. You perfectly brought that book to life. I listened 2½ times on my long journeys to rehearsals for a local performance of “War of the Worlds: A Radio Play.” Thank you for the entertainment and sharing your life with us here.
Same here. I became a huge fan of yours because of “Ready Player One.” That was one of the best audiobooks I’ve ever listened to (I’m a librarian so I’ve listened to a few lol). Hope you’re both having a great weekend!
I can’t wait for the finished product, Wil! So glad you have your mojo back!
I’m so excited to read the book! I admire all you’ve gone through too. I’ve written a book, and it’s been siting for over two years waiting for the dreaded REWRITE. Congratulations on your triumph! I’ll be watching the book releases! 🙂 Take care!!!
So after the first cut have you given it a different title?. Or are you gonna keep that one for those of us who will put it on the to read list .
Can’t wait to buy it when it’s out!
Hi. I want you to know you are revolutionary! I think in 10 years we’re gonna look back and wonder why we allowed social media to damage so many lives. I also deleted twitter, just last week, and all the others 3 months ago. I was using it too much and calling it my social life, being introverted.. long story. Anyway you are great and I hope people are giving you tons of support! Liz
Love this! Also, don’t know how much you read of your comments section, but just in case – your last post inspired me to do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I am officially off of my various social media sites (deleted them all) and am focusing on my blog. Right now I have about10 subscribers and the layout and content are meh. But I’m so excited – I have so many ideas I don’t know what to do first! So I really appreciate your thoughtful and passionate expression of your experience on social media and the changes you decided to make. Very, very inspiring – possibly life-altering – for me. Thank you!
Ride the waves 🙂
Congratulations! That’s great news. Also, LOL on The Red Pen of Doom, I am familiar with that particular utensil and I am so glad you named it so I can use it next time I submit something, if I ever get past the not writing thing.
I look forward to reading it!
Hello, Wil!
I ended up on your blog following a link from an article about your choice to leave Twitter.
This entry caught my attention because I’m currently experiencing the very first big writing challenge of my life. I’m only working on my dissertation in Philosophy, but I convinced my big brother to act as editor and we go through a very similar process (fear of getting “it’s all crap” notes included). That is to say, your post made me smile 🙂
Anyway, I’m going to take a step back from the beginning of the present comment and tell you the reason why I googled your name in the first place: the truth is that I was looking for a way to contact you. I know this is ‘out of topic’ here and I sincerely hope this won’t bother you, but while working on my thesis, I also started a small company and worked on a mobile game.
The point is: being a huge Star Trek fan, I find myself channeling all the inspiration I got from that world in everything I do, and now that I have produced this thing, I feel like showing it to someone from that world, as a way of saying thanks and seeking out some kind of feedback or advice. Just to be clear: this is not some kind of marketing move. I just sincerely want to ask you if you want to check out a “silly little” game made by a fan and tell her if you like it!
I always enjoy your blogs (sidebar: and also I’ve thought you were great in every role I’ve ever seen you in) and I am so looking forward to your book! Good luck / enjoy the rewrite process. 🙂
Can’t wait forthe novel! I am gonna miss your shortform content, though. In lieu of a social media presence, would you consider doing a literal microblog hosted here on wilwheaton.net? I’d love to keep getting your day-to-day thoughts.
You’re writing novels, too? That’s wonderful! (Forgive my ignorance, but I signed up for your newsletter only a couple of months ago, and only after I had seen a couple of episodes of Tabletop earlier this year.). I’ll have to check out your works. Stay with it!
This book sounds interesting. I can’t wait to buy it and read it.
Hi Wil, just wanted to say (really in reply to your last blog post, but better late than never!) that my husband and I (we’re gay) are big fans, love you and what you do, support you, know you support the LGBT community, and just wanted to send some love and hugs your way. 🙂 Don’t let all that negativity get to ya!
I love hearing about the progress of writing your novel. I can’t wait to read it!
Sorry to hear about your social media woes, Wil. I’ve been there, though not to the same extent. There are still a bunch of us out here who love your podcasts, blogs, books and appearances. I look forward to the new book.
I forgot all about your Blog here. You are very good at writting. I love all of your work.
Reading this made me smile. I love your enthusiasm and excitement, and can’t wait for the chance to read the book you’ve poured so much heart and passion into!
Hi Wil,
Just want to say that I’m sorry the Fediverse treated you so badly – plus I’m pretty shocked at the comments that you get on your own blog. Thank you for your openness and honesty and sticking your neck out. Sorry we can’t defend you better.
I still think blogs, email and forums are valid sources of communication. Clearly social media beyond that doesn’t seem worth it. Just depresses the heck out of us.
Hey so I didn’t know how to message you so I hope this reaches you. You don’t know me but you have been a huge inspiration to me as a nerd and as a person in general and I just wanted to let you know I’m rooting for you. I actually tried to find you last year at gen con but never found you (not for lack of trying as a few people can attest to lol) to tell you how much you mean to me. Stay strong and we will always stand by you.
Some weeks (months?) ago, you said how you’d been promoting one of your stories but had still had only sold about 45 of them, despite being “Wil Wheaton” with a good public presence, and you couldn’t imagine how tough it must be for completely unknown writers to sell their own books. That both impressed me, that you could think about other writers in that way, and saddened me, as it did seem like a small number of buyers for a celebrity author. I thought, “Maybe he’s not a very good writer.”
So I ordered the piece — Dead Trees Give No Shelter — and today I finally had time to sit down and read it.
And loved it!
Great first page, solid characterizations, good pacing, atmospheric, and a surprising twist that just keeps twisting a little more, page after page. The ending was right in line with what had been happening through the earlier pages — no deus ex machina — but it wasn’t predictable, either.
I can promise I’ll buy the novel.
Hi Will, I cannot wait for the novel to be published. You have a gift for storytelling and I am happy you are continuing to share this with us. Stay Frosty!
Hi, Wil. I know this is slightly off topic, but since you aren’t on social media I don’t know where else to put this. My dad and I have been watching Tabletop on YouTube, and we finally went out and got a game. You’d think we’d pick something family friendly, but we ended up getting Epic Spell Wars. It. Was. Awesome. I’ve been dealing with my own mental health issues, so being able to just have fun was a much needed breath of fresh air. Thank you. 😁
Hey Wil, catching up here after missing your voice on Twitter. Sad to hear that you have left social media because it has become so toxic. Sad to read about the mold. Glad to hear that it has given you time to work on your novel. I send artists/makers who are being put upon by the haters to your “They make comments “ blog post. This world needs more art and I am glad you are contributing to it. I have enjoyed your work as an actor, but even more as a blogger and content creator. I tried Texas Hold’em, a return to D&D, and playing more tabletop games because of you. This has enriched my life, my friendships, and my family, so I wanted you to know that I appreciate it. As a physician, I am glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself. I know I want your voice in the world, and I believe that the world needs it too. For now, I will look for your voice here, and I will buy your book when it’s published. Jason
I cannot WAIT to read this! I suspect you have an ever-vivid imagination like mine and if so, it’s bound to be absolutely outstanding. <3
I look forward to the final product, Wheaton!
I’m excited that we may soon see more writing from you. I love your books and podcasts. You are Awesome
I am SO looking forward to reading this book. For the record, I love the title. Reading about your writing makes me feel better about the days when I feel like I’m spending more time staring at a blinking curser than putting words–any words– into the narrative. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who has moments of doubt followed by moments of jubilation because the words I thought were lost finally showed up. Keep us posted!
OT, but chances are I’ll forget to ever come back (not a regular, tho we’ve met in Real Life), so dropping it here: Noted in passing something about being majorly depressive. For ghu’s sakes, get a full hormonal workup. Start with thyroid (ALL the tests, and don’t go by TSH), parathyroid, cortisol, and probably testosterone wouldn’t hurt (tho it usually follows from thyroid). One shrink found 90% of his bipolar patients actually had thyroid disorders (most likely Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, so the fix is as expected) and were instantly cured by putting them on T3. As in, within 24 hours and permanently off ALL other meds. The research on all this is hoary with age and crystal-clear to anyone with a smattering of biochemistry, yet few doctors (and fewer psychs) know anything about it.
Thyroid disorders starve the brain for energy, directly causing depression. This may be the ONLY symptom (but look up “300 thyroid symptoms” for a non-exclusive list — it affects everything and can cause problems from tooth decay to cancer — you’d be shocked how many problems just vanish when thyroid is normalized), and for whatever reason hypothyroid depression is extremely common as THE symptom among writers. (There! fooled you, was so on topic. 🙂
“I got so depressed after the election in 2016, I took almost nine months off from writing it (and doing much of anything creative).” This is what is wrong with the world currently. Why would you shutdown just because an election didn’t go in a way that makes sense? When the wind changes, adjust your sails and keep moving in the way you know is right. It doesn’t matter who the President is. Do what is right. Make the good you want to see happen yourself. What good did sitting around feeling depressed for 9 months do? Don’t defeat yourself.
Exciting! Thank you for sharing your progress. So glad you were able to happily work on it again after your totally understandable post-election depression/writers block!
I can’t wait to see it when it comes out!
Awesome! Can’t wait to read it. Just so you know, on my Feedly page, your RSS feed is in my “author” category along with Wendig, Rothfuss, and a bunch more. I enjoy your acting of course, but in my mind you’re an author first and foremost, so I am so glad you’ve been inspired to write a novel!
I am SO looking forward to buying and reading this novel! I grew up a sci-fi geek in the San Fernando Valley in the late 70’s and early 80’s so feel a special connection to your autobio and semi-autobio work.
Very happy for you! Write on!!
That’s awesome Wil! Can’t wait to read it! Sounds like you got a really good editor. He sounds like the kind of person who really fosters the writer’s creativity and helps improve their skillset. I’m sure you’ll figure out an epic ending for it, I have every confidence in you!
I read this:
While I worked today, I was surprised to notice that I had been missing the characters I created and lived with for so long. I got to again experience that sense of meaningful satisfaction that I had been enjoying every day while I worked on the first draft and its revisions (even on the days when I felt like the words just didn’t want to flow together).
…and I thought, “You should write for television. Then you’d get to revisit your characters week-in and week-out.
This may be the dumbest idea ever, but just in case it isn’t, I figured I’d post it here.
Hang in there, Wil. When it comes to people and the internet, it turns them into bigger assholes. Keyboard Warriors are the fucking worst. I had also been bullied off of the internet. It was a few years ago when I was helping a family look for their missing daughter, and running a Facebook group. Trolls came out of the woodwork for sure. It was a damn nightmare! I no longer have a Facebook and haven’t used it in years. I have been much happier without it.
I do enjoy Twitter and Instagram since I can hide under a screen name, and not having to worry about people Googling my name. I am sorry that you feel like, you can no longer be on Twitter. I miss your tweets and reading your point of view on political topics.
I have been reading about you on Twitter since you have left. People blaming you for the block all list, which I doubt you ever made. You just introduced it to people, and I am one of them. I love that list. It might have caused some damage, but whatever… I don’t have to see the tweets from hateful, cold-hearted trolls.
I am glad that you still have your blog. I hope that you hold onto it since it seems to be your outlet. A lot of people do share your views and understand where you’re coming from. You’re not alone, Wil.
Just remember that people have always been assholes, Social Media just gives them a larger platform to spread their hate. Maybe, you will be able to come up with a law, that deals with defamation of character and the internet.
Hi Wil,
Being old, I have some memory of you on TV as a (very?) young man, and was often baffled by the (seemingly mostly negative) way people made reference to you. Not knowing you at all, I wondered where all that came from. Fast forward most of your life, and reading a blog I really like I found a link to you collating. That somehow led to reading your post about mental illness which really resonated with me. And now… I was just thinking that since many people I know tweet and “facebook” and whatever, I should do that too. Then the Internet was nice enough to steer me to your recent post about social media, and i have to say THANK YOU!. I feel like I dodged a bullet, thanks to your story. I honestly don’t care what other people see or think (that is for them, not me), but I do like the you I see collating and writing a blog, and now, perhaps will even read your novel(s). Sorry if it seems rambling, but I just follow the thread.
Thanks & Take Care,
Joe
I find myself smiling now when I open my emails and discover there is another blog post from you. That’s the way it used to be when you were blogging more often and it felt like a regular routine for me to search for your entry. I hope it continues because I love hearing from you. And I’m really looking forward to your book. If the ending has to be changed, and you’re temporarily stumped as to how to proceed, think of your favorite books and movies, when you really loved the ending. Examine why you loved it – what was so satisfying. I do feel really lame making any suggestions because I’m not a writer. I have every confidence in you to find a wonderful conclusion to your tale.
United Nations – Universal Declaration of Human Rights
Article 19.
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.
It’s fascinating to hear about your writing process. I’m so happy that it’s going well, you’re enjoying it and a creative need in your soul is being met. I was also 12 in 1983 and grew up just a bit east of you, so I’m particularly excited to read the book and see if your experience was similar to mine. Those were heady, carefree days! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Just wanted to say, Wil, that I enjoyed your twitter posts and will miss reading them. As a healthcare professional, I wanted to thank you for your candor and courage to speak up about depression and anxiety. As someone who is always trying to take care of others, either patients or my own family, I have trouble seeing when I need help or knowing when things aren’t “right.” Many of your statements made me think a bit about that. I do some woodworking with tech (CNC Router, laser, 3D printer) and post a bit about it on YouTube from time to time to help me cope a bit, but time seems always dedicated to others rather than me. I’d like to thank you for making me at least think about doing more to take care of myself while I take care of others. And I’d also like to thank you for just being a good and kind human being. You certainly seem to be someone who has a kind, thoughtful heart.