Over the last few days, I’ve encountered a lot of people who have been kind to me. I’ve seen people in random places, like the grocery store and the pet store, who have told me that they read my stuff online, and they appreciate me. I ran into a bunch of people at my friend’s show last night, who told me how much they value — not just like, but value — Tabletop, and more than a few people there told me that they thought I was a good person who does good things.
If you’re one of these people, I know I said “thank you” in person, but I want to say it again, in public, in a way that my anxiety doesn’t allow when we’re face to face.
Thank you! I needed that, so much.
You see, I *really* needed to be reminded that the stuff I do matters to people, and is worth my time and effort. I’m dealing with a few really terrible things in my real life that I’m not talking about in public, and won’t talk about in public, and at the same time, I’ve been struggling with anxiety. I can feel a capital-D Depressive episode lurking around pretty much every corner, and I’m doing my best to practice my CBT and take my meds and talk to the people who are close to me, who care about me and help me when my brain decides to turn on me. For far too long, my brain has been going out of its way to remind me that I suck at everything, the book I’ve worked so hard on for so long is going to fail (it won’t; I’m super proud of it and believe in it), and nobody cares about me or what I do. The world has moved on, I’m drifting into “trivia answer” territory, and if I just disappeared from public life tomorrow, nobody would care or notice.
I know that none of that is real, but … well, I’ve written about Depression before and how it is such a giant dick about stuff like this. It’s challenging to tune out that insistent voice of doubt and despair, even when I know that it’s just a bunch of noise.
I shouldn’t give trolls and harassers any space in my head, too, but I gotta be honest: that last week on Twitter was horrible. Every day was a flood of people putting in considerable time and effort to make me miserable, and even though I was able to ignore most of it, some of it still got through. I mean, I’m just human and I have a wonky brain, so…
Maybe I’m just more *aware* of the kindness of people in the last few days, or maybe there really has been some kind of uptick in kindness for some reason that normal people can probably see, but remains hidden to me. But the end result is: I’m doing everything I can to practice gratitude, kindness, empathy, and patience. I’m not always successful, but the affirmation I’ve gotten from people who don’t know me and have no reason to reach out with kindness and appreciation has made a HUGE difference.
I’m so grateful for the love and support and patience that my wife and children give me every day, but I’ve been dealing with so much negativity and cruelty, I haven’t been able to see and feel it. The people who have been kind and gentle to me recently sort of helped push back the weasels of despair that have been threatening to overwhelm me, which has created the space in my life that I couldn’t make myself to accept and embrace the love of my wife and kids.
So thank you, people who don’t know me and have nothing to gain by being kind to me, for your kindness, whether you are offline or online.
And please consider this: you have choices all day long about how you treat people. Every interaction can be kind, or it can be cruel, and the choice you make will have an effect on people you’ll never meet. Make a choice that you’ll feel good about.
Thanks for listening.
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You sir are a beacon of Nice , Polite and you seam to emit a presence like only a few have achieved . When someone is in your presence they al of a sudden get the feeling they are with ” Royalty ” that’s acting Royalty you know like the vibe when your working with Sir Patrick . yes that is how some of us feel around your presence . You young sir are a Beacon and many are drawn to your luminosity . Please keep bringing us Books , Literature and your blogs of how normal , All are , You are and that pain also come’s out of words. My thought is you should be leading the :” Cyberbulling mantel ” but why help He who should not be named and his Minions .
Wish I had met you IRL this week to spread some cheer….but I’m stuck your old home of Kansas. Long distance high five
I wanted to thank you for writing about what you can – as someone who does not personally grapple with depression, but with many friends and relatives who do deal with it and other atypical neurological situations, reading and listening to you and John Green have been a huge help to me in understanding how to be a helpful and supportive friend and loved one.
Celebrity and or notoriety is tough, especially in this age of social media, but I sincerely appreciate your efforts to use whatever platform that may give you to do good.
Take care of yourself Wil, in whatever way works best for you and those you share your life with.
Who you are and what you do go so much further than Wheaton’s law. You are a kind person who lift other folks up and find ways to shine a bright light on what is good and right. I’ve always been tickled to see how you are so much more in person than I would have ever expected. As a seamonkey I feel honored to have heard your tales and what you’ve chosen to share. It is helpful to see how you are learning to care for yourself because it reminds me that I’m allowed to do the same.
Thank you sir.
The world is a better place with people like you, especially with you! You should know that. Thanks for all you’re giving to us :>
Just to let you know, you matter. I hadn’t seen you pop up in my feed for a while and I was a bit concerned. Seeing these 2 posts here is a relief. A lot of us have ‘wonky brains,’ so we need to stick together. Carry on.
Your honest, heartfelt writings speak to me. As someone who has lived with depression and crippling panic attacks and who everyday is wary of getting too close to and stepping over that edge again, I understand the struggle. I try to live my life in kindness, gratitude and compassion and I have no doubt that you do as well, I can feel your good heart shining through your words.
Stay strong, keep writing. Keep looking up, Will. Thank you. 🤗
Your post was the first thing I read this morning, and it made me start my day with a warm feeling in my heart and a smile on my lips. We do cherish you, for all the things that you do, create, share, struggle with and overcome. Thank you for being such an inspiration and a ray of light (yes, a ray of light, even though your thoughts may be a bit dark at times). Please continue being such an amazing person and a gem of a human being.
For your mental health, I am glad you left Twitter, there are too many shitheads there and you don’t need that! Keep fighting the good fight. Being famous and having depression on Twitter is probably the worst combination available. I see you and appreciate the things you do!
I’m so sorry that you have had the trolls attacking you on Twitter, I hope that if you have left it now that’s one source of unpleasantness/pain that you don’t have to deal with anymore. I just wanted to say that I think you are great, I love the fact that you play a fictionalised version of yourself on big bang theory, and think that’s kind of brave! I also very much valued Tabletop, and hope there will be more of it soon. I have bought so many games I’ve enjoyed playing with friends after watching you do it! I wish you nothing but the best, and good luck with your book!
I understand everything you have said…I suffer with the exact same type of depression…and have all of the same feelings…I am about to start my second degree with the OU in October and boy am I having problems with trying to convince myself that I will be fine…good luck with the CBT it didn’t work with me but that is another story 🙂
Big huggles and there really are people on your side 🙂
From my perspective, you’re a couple of decades into a streak of being a legitimate grade-A dude, as well as informative, principled, candid, and entertaining. I’m not sweating it. I’m pretty sure you’ve got another thirty or forty years in you before you hang it all up to go live on an abandoned oil platform, the independent one-man nation of Wilvil.
Also, for depression… hammock.
I kid you not.
What a beautiful and loving post, Wil. I think you are appreciated and you’re messages burrow deeper in our hearts than any of us realize. What a precious gift! Thank you!
We don’t know each other. I bookmarked your blog some time ago because I identify with you. I grok your jam.
I have been checking every 2-3 days for a post, not because I want something from you, but because your well-being, and Anne’s well-being, and your dogs’ well being, occupy space in my mind-zone.
I am thrilled to hear from you because it means you are still here. I am sad that things have been so hard. I am glad for the small and large blessings that have accompanied you and your family.
You matter. Your family matters. Thank you for being so kind as to let us, your anonymous introverted acquaintances, know what has been true for you.
Haters are bitches. Total energy suck. Not worthy of the great truth and light that is you.
Walk toward the light, the ones who give without draining. Nobody else matters, in the end. Embrace the support and release the BS. Says me.. ☺️💚
I can’t wait for your novel to come out. You have a way with words that is intriguing and heartfelt. I’m an oldie, so I never got involved with Twitter though I have an account. Never seemed right to get a thought across in only so many characters. Now that I’ve looked at some Tweets I can see the bitterness and hate some trolls have to live with. Some good kind words from people too, but really, anything of substance? That’s where novels come in. You get to join the author’s world and live it in while reading and thinking the novel. I grew up on the old SyFy masters and they had such fantastic worlds and lives and imaginations that one could quite believe in. I bet your novel and novels to be will be just as creative and thought provoking as anyone’s. Or, just a fanciful escape to another world. I don’t know what you are writing about, but I’m definitely waiting for it.
I’ve always felt that it costs exactly nothing to be a decent human being, and that it takes a great deal of effort to be a dick. It’s hard to fathom why some people feel that effort is well-spent, but know that there’s more of us than there are of them. This comment section is like a big hug. (Or a big high-five if hugging strangers is weird.)
Amen and alleluia sir.
Another great post. I suffer from depression and anxiety too and often try to explain to my young son why I’m acting the way I am. He always gives me a hug and says he loves me. That means more to me than anything in the world. So I wish you a daily dose of hugs and ‘I love you’s…..but not from me, cause I don’t know you and that’d be more disturbing for you than helpful and restraining orders are just time consuming!! (LOL!)….x
I am grateful that you write about your depression because as a fellow sufferer you express my thoughts so well. You inform the people in our lives so much better than I ever could about what we experience. Depression is a darkness of the soul that robs us of happy moments with family and friends. Thank you for everything.
Love you.
Just one more voice here, but I love what you make and what you write. You constantly work to put good content and positive energy out into the web.
Please don’t dwell on the crap you get from people on Twitter.
Lots of love!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and you do great things. So keep at it, Sir!
I think you’re fabulous, and that you have touched so many more people than you realize in such a positive way. Seriously, a multitude.
One of my all time favorite things ever is that speech you made about the importance of STEAM classes, and the way art and science merged together in your life. That is just one thing. Yet, between the people who heard it live, those who read it on your website and those who received it second hand from those who shared it with others (I shared it multiple times), you were an inspiration to so many.
Your honesty in sharing your mental health issues and experiences has also been incredibly helpful. All of these things spread outward in ripples, a positive influence flowing toward those who need it.
I wish you the very, very best, in whatever you are dealing with now, and endlessly into the future. I hope all the goodness you have generated in this world comes back to you, magnified greatly.
I love you, Wil. You are a good person who deserves all of the good an none of the bad.
I’m just a fan, have been for most of your career. One of the things that I truly appreciate about your sharing your journey through dealing with the “voices” is you help me to understand better what people with the same problem go through, and thereby make me more empathetic and not just sympathetic to what they are going through. The fact that you are able to articulate, to ANY degree, what you go through is, as far as I’m concerned, admirable and very note-worthy. Most of the people I know cannot articulate their demons as well as you do, because they get too frustrated trying to articulate it and fight them at the same time. I am the type of person that I want to understand what a person is going through in more in depth detail so that I know how to be the support that they need at any given moment. Your blogs have helped me do that better, not perfect, but I’m working on getting there. You’ve helped me, also, with some of my own demons that I usually just stick in a proverbial box, stick under a bunch of stuff, way in the back of my mental closet, because that’s the way I’ve dealt with them all of my nearly 60 years, where they stay until someone or something pulls the invisible string that yanks it right back under my nose. You’ve even, inadvertently, pulled a couple of those invisible strings, but because you were able to help me deal with them, it was a good thing, and time for it to be dealt with and put to rest in it’s proper grave and not back in it’s box, in the closet. I don’t blame you for giving up your Twitter account, but please don’t give up the blog.
“”The fact that you are able to articulate, to ANY degree, what you go through is, as far as I’m concerned, admirable and very note-worthy. Most of the people I know cannot articulate their demons as well as you do, because they get too frustrated trying to articulate it and fight them at the same time.“”
— You are exactly right
Wil. Screw those people who are negative to you. Most of them are going nowhere and need to make others feel bad so they can feel good. That is something I can never understand. I am happy to see you posting on your blog again. I make it a regular stop in my morning reading. You have inspired me, helped me understand and relate to my daughter Catherine who is a creative type like yourself and also happens to suffer from anxiety and depression. I have in the past look at anxiety and depression as weakness. But, because of your openness and honesty about your own anxiety and depression YOU have educated me and given me the perspective I needed to understand what these issues are about and to effectively help my daughter and others with them.
Please keep posting to your blog on a regular basis. It is a great forum and I look forward to reading your great stories, finding out what new creative thing you are up to as an actor, writer, person. Thank you for helping me evolve into a better person. I am going through a divorce right now and have taken solace in your stories about your experiences with that. Know that you have made a big difference in my life and I say to you THANK YOU, WIL WHEATON!!!
Wil, you make Twitter a fun place for me, and I love and respect how you use your voice to speak for good. When I first saw that you sent Jenny Lawson a photo of you collating papers, I liked you right away. Thank you for bringing me a smile, and sending you good vibes in return.
For you: https://www.instagram.com/kittenwitchandthebadvibes/
Love to you and Anne and the critters.
Thank you for posting this. Now following.
“Weasels of Despair” is my new favorite band name.
Weasels of despair. This will now be a standard term for me. 🙂. When I saw your blog name pop up in my feed, I randomly thought, “one day I’d love to just run into him and Anne and quickly tell them how wonderful I think they are” and then your post was about people doing just that! I know depression lies so telling you that I love your writing voice, I value how you speak out for those who need a champion and I admire you and your families relationship might not actually help. So I’ll say this. You don’t have to be productive to be valuable. Even if you never made another creative work or they all sucked (which they won’t but even if) it wouldn’t diminish YOU. That it not what makes us significant. How we love is. And you got that.
I’m loving the phrase ‘weasels of despair’! I too have unruly weasels that I struggle to control. I was just writing the other day about how it is hard to keep positive when our brains are hardwired to notice the negative stuff more. I for one, think you are awesome and look forward to reading your work <3
As always, such a meaningful post….you write beautifully, and echoing everyone else….yes YES you matter.
I am looking forward to your book coming out. It will be a success because so many of us believe in you.
Wil, you are and always have been a class act. (And so is your wife Anne!) This world is a much better place because of you two.
I consider myself one of your devoted fans for selfish reasons: Your posts (and pics) always make me laugh; the advocacy work you do for mental illness and pet adoptions always gives me hope; and your personal stories of being a husband, a father, and an actor always entertain me. So… thank you for all you do and for being such a great guy.
May the Force be with you.
You’re welcome, and thank you. I also suffer from Depression and Anxiety (and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) and I’m going through a particularly dark place right now and it’s good to hear from a fellow sufferer I admire and you give me motivation and hope. So thank you.
Mr. Wheaton, I have not had occasion to see you in public and I doubt I ever will (big planet). I can only speak honestly and say that I don’t know you. I have read much of your writings and I’ve seen you on screens acting parts but that is not truly you. I’m trying to be completely honest and I can only say that I do value you and what you’ve shared. There are many, many voices and I generally take the time to read what you write and when I see you in something, I do feel more of a connection with the person behind the role. I know that’s not really much compared to people you actually know, but I thank you for it.
Wil, what would you consider the opposite of a Weasel of Despair? A Unicorn of Hope? A Fluffy Kitty of Joy? A Pink Elephant of Purpose? Asking for an art project for which you’ve given me an idea.
Also, I cannot WAIT to read your novel. I’m sure it will be as enjoyable and well crafted as everything else that you’ve written (all of which I’ve read and loved).
I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch. There’s an absolute pile of people ready to support you in any way that you might need.
Hugs.
That’s a great question. Maybe it’s the kitten of joy? Or the Puppy of hope?
I’d reverse those – the puppy of joy and the kitten of hope. Not that kittens aren’t joyous little things but puppies are the earthly embodiment of it IMO.
I’d be very surprised if I ran into you in the grocery store considering you are home and I am in another state, but it’d be lovely if I did. I’ve liked your various creative work for years, back to when we were both kids. (Yikes!) And my weasels of despair are especially active in the summer (the days are just too long up here!) but fall will be here soon, and hope is around the corner in other ways in my life, so the weasels will just have to back off for awhile. Lying jerks.
You are so amazing. I have never met you, but when you brought Ready Player One to life, it really just made me fall in love with the book. Thank you for all that you do speaking up for those of us with mental illness and helping to create, as John Green says, “less World Suck.”
Sending you some stranger-love, Wil! So many of us appreciate you, enjoy you, learn from you, and, yes, value your contributions in the world we share.
Perfect way to start my day! Thanks for the reminder that gratitude is about both giving and receiving. Our personal value doesn’t depend on how hard we work or who we know or where we live. We’re valuable simply because we exist. We don’t expect a baby to earn our love and respect so why do we hold ourselves to such an unattainable level. Thanks for setting the stage for an awesome day!
I think that being off Twitter has helped removed a lot of negativity from your life, which has likely given you more space to notice the kindness around you. Keep writing, and please keep making Tabletop haha 😉
Mr. Wheaton, I admire and respect your writing and acting talents, but your honesty, courage and strength inspire beyond anything you can imagine. They help me. I wish we could do something to help you. Looking forward to all your creative efforts! kkelly
Hang in there, it will get better soon and your family and friends will help you ride out this difficult time. Thank you for keeping on writing, acting, doing all the neat things that you do. Your audience is very grateful for it and its so nice to see you actively pursuing your goals.
I think my previous comment was blocked so I’ll shorten it – weasels made me laugh and you are great!
Wil! Just wanted to send you a note to let you know that you’re a super terrific guy – a GOOD PERSON. I’m one of those folks who doesn’t know you, but really really thinks you enrich my experience on this planet, and not just for me; you’re adding to the plus column on making the world a better place, in a million little ways.
Visualize everyone who loves you putting up a wall that keeps you safe. We love you and you are safe. Negativity can’t get through it. You’re safe and surrounded by love.
Don’t let the $*#@s grind you down.
The Internet can be a stew of toxicity. Sometimes it’s best to step away for a bit.
Mean people suck and so does depression. You, on the other hand, are awesome. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Hug!
I’m so sorry to hear you have been having problems and of course I understand you don’t want to talk about everything in your life that happens to you. You share so much already on this blog. I have been reading you for over ten years now (though rarely commenting) and it has been fascinating (no reference intended). I hope everything will work out for you and I really look forward to reading your new novel. Just don’t read any reviews, maybe?
I didn’t realize you were basically forced off Twitter after such a terrible week there. You must miss the good bits and I hope you have other good ways of staying in touch with friends. I hope that writing this blog can continue to be therapeutic for you as I think it has been in the past, and that our comments will give you encouragement in hard times. Everybody can see you are trying very hard to do the best you can, and you deserve only the best to happen to you.
So, I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, maybe a year or so. I don’t recall how I found it, but I enjoyed your performances in Star Trek and always enjoy it when you turn up on The Big Bang Theory. I’ve never commented before because it seems like plenty of people who have similar issues with depression do a great job encouraging you. I’m happy to see you have such a loyal crew. I count myself lucky that I have never been attacked on Twitter, but I read some Twitter rants here and there and can’t understand where all the vitriol comes from. Hopefully (and probably) there are others like me who don’t feel adding their two cents will make a difference to you, but maybe it will. I enjoy reading your thoughts and talking about your life. It has been interesting following the progress on your book. I hope I get to read it WHEN (not if) it comes out. Anyway, I wish you more happiness and success and less pain. Take care.