I wrote this at 1am local time last night:
I’m in New York.
I’m jetlagged. I have to get up in six hours for an important meeting and then an important shoot.
I’m trying to fall asleep, and I’m thinking about how I can rewrite the first few paragraphs of my novel, because while I was proofing it today, I kept feeling like it could be better. Like, it’s fine, but I can be better, you know?
So I’m finally starting to drift off to sleep, and my brain goes HEY HERE IS THE WAY TO CHANGE THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY, SO YOU ARE HAPPY WITH IT.
And I go, “Fuck, brain, I have to get up in seven hours and I’m finally starting to fall asleep. Can you remember this for me and we’ll do it in the morning?”
And my brain is all, “I can’t make any promises, bro.”
So I am all, “Don’t call me bro. Ever.”
And my brain says, “Sorry. That was a joke that didn’t land.”
And I say, “Okay, so you’ll remember this for me in the morning?”
And my brain is all, “I’m going to have to wake you up a whole bunch so we can keep this particular idea alive until you write it down.”
So I sigh, reach over to the table next to my bed in this hotel, and pick up my laptop. I open it up, turn the brightness all the way down, and write the idea that I had.
And it’s good. It’s really good. It’s *better* than what was there before.
I’m glad I dragged myself out of near-sleep to write it down, but now I am wide awake and I still have to start a long day in six hours, and I’m kind of fucked.
But I don’t care, because I wrote down this thing that’s really good, and I feel good about it.
And this is how I know that I am a writer, and that being a writer is what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
👏🏽 this was both funny and true! Shutting the brain off seems to be harder than it looks.
“And this is how I know that I am a writer…”,
How awesome it is that you Know!
That is such a wonderful gift (both the writing, and the knowing). Thanks for sharing!
THIS /\ right here!
And I can’t wait to read everything that you write! I’ve been trying to get myself back into reading after grad school, and I’m very excited for your book!
After hearing all this back story over the past year I’m really curious to read this once it gets out there. (Of course knowing a little about how publishing works I realize it could be a long wait!)
And I (and everyone else here) loves you for being you. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. (And I can’t wait to read the novel!)
I write, I’m familiar with this. My brain fizzes with ideas.
I also teach in HE, and my brain never stops about it. Never.
This blog entry really spoke to me.
You’re on the case.
<3
<3 you, Wil. <3 you.
I love reading your writing. Totally get it – and man, I’ve been there. It’s horrible – but still kinda great, right? Cause as you say, you really know you’re a writer when that stuff happens and you answer the call. By the way, I’m a newcomer to the comments, but a long time fan. Have enjoyed your work since you were small – haha although I’m only 3 years older than you – Anyway, I think you handled all the bs from the social media plague with tremendous grace, and I’m very glad you’re still out here speaking to any of us here in the ether. Cheers.
Been there Wil – damn it’s hard but you’re always glad you did it…well sometimes you look at it again and say wtf, but it’s the discipline that makes you a great writer…Have a great day bro! LOL
Yessir.. that’s exactly it.
CPA’ing is what pays the bills for me – sometimes it’s the solution to a tax situation that brings me fully awake… and sometimes it’s the turn of phrase that I’ve been working ’round in my chaotic brain. Either way, I know I’m where I need to be.
Keep up the good work, Will. You seriously rock.
It’s your creative side making itself known. It’ll wait until you’re ready to go do something else. Rest, play, work… Anything else. And then it bangs your door down and demands your attention. I can’t preach, as I never remember to do this myself, but it might help if you jotted down summaries of your ideas, for the time being, so you can go back and work on them at times that you’ve set aside to work on them when it’s convenient for you.
Good call to wake up and get it down – it’s never the same in the morning after your brain mushes it up during disturbed dreams. Really looking forward to reading it, I aspire to write the way you do.
So true. I been there just as a programer.
+1 for that. I design integrated business solutions and many a time I’d jump
out of bed to document a bit of code or idea for a solution. Makes for a satisfying morning knowing
that you #DID# that.
I’ve been writing off and on since high school. It’s a siren song that never goes away. There will be many times it will drag me out a deep sleep and demand my attention.
Welcome to the world of being a writer.
Also, know this, the more you write, the more ideas you will get for stories. No story will ever be perfect and you will ALWAYS want to go back and fix it. Don’t agonize over making a story perfect. Make it the best you can for now, and move on to the next story and make that one better than the last. That’s when you’ll know you’re an author 🙂
I’m still very proud of how far you’ve come and can’t wait to see a bookshelf full of Wil Wheaton books.
Stay Awesone!
I kinda cheat on that matter. I grab my phone, open the memos, click the mic icon and say what I want to remember then click save, lay the phone down and Done. I can relate though, my brain won’t shut up at night either, keeps me awake for hours all hours of the night. Then when you want it to work, you want to think of something, It Doesn’t!!
I’m so excited to read your book. I started writing a book about the same time and am finally in the final revision process. It’s been a fun journey that I feel like I’ve been on with you! I’ve wanted my whole life to be a writer and get my story down on paper and here we are. Now if only I can figure out how to make money at this writing gig!
Your wonderful energy is radiating from this post. You’ve found nirvana!
Sometimes, you’ve just gotta write! I can totally relate!
Wil, thank you so much for sharing this, it was exactly what I needed at this very moment in time. I was up all night working on a story and was able to get an hour of sleep before having to wake up at 6am EST. It has helped confirm what my passion is. When I realized what time it was, the time read 4am. I ended up having a similar conversation/thought process go through my own mind. I finished the idea I had and was very happy this morning when I re-read it. Thank you so very much.
I always liked you.
I love how you express yourself.
And you are one handsome dude !
Wil, thank you for sharing this, it was precisely what I needed today. I was up until 4am EST before I realized what time it was. I was supposed to be getting up at 6am but was working on a story I am creating. I had a similar thought process/conversation go on in my mind as well. I as able to finish the idea I had and I am very happy I did, even if I did just get an hour of sleep. This just confirms for me what my passion is. Thank you.
So great Wil. <3
And if you need a tour of the Public theater let me know! You could touch a tony!!! See where Hamilton was born?! Eh?
Enjoy your trip.
Good post
I’m remembering an old episode of Seinfeld. Jerry keeps a pad by his bed and writes down a joke he thought he made up while he was half asleep. Glad your writing turned out better for you than him. 😄
It’s a great thing to have a good sense of self. And funny to boot!
That is definitely a Writer feeling. And good on you for not being like, “No, this idea is SO good and of course I will TOTALLY remember it in the morning.” Down that way lies staring at the wall trying to reconnect brain synapses through willpower alone and it is a sad, sad feeling. continues waving pompoms and looking forward to reading your novel
I hopt the makeup artist(s) at the shoot work well the bags under your eyes. 🙂
I woke up at some point last night too, jotting down scenes from a dream on my iPhone using Notes.
Verbatim:
” – facts – field mushrooms
It’s okay. You’re not dying and we’re not angels ascending. I just know how this works. I don’t like pushing the speed; it’s not about that. It’s not even about flying
Tinkess”
I dunno… it seemed important. Haha!
Very cool.
Have you thought about keeping a pen and paper on the nightstand?
For me, when I log a middle-of-the-night idea in a laptop or tablet, the screen kicks my brain back into awake mode (even when the brightness is low).
But, jotting down some quick notes on paper is often enough to re-spark the idea in the morning and keeps the brain in the almost-ready-to-sleep state.
It’s always fun to see people excited by a project; can’t wait to see the end result 🙂
I’ve definitely had this experience for myself too quite a bit because I definitely have a hard time shutting my brain off.
My wife is in the process of writing her first book. I will definitely share your post with her.
This is so great!
I love how you’ve been blogging for years, you’ve had a number of non-fiction books published, you’ve put out some short fiction, you created an RPG setting, but THIS is how you know you’re a writer. Because I so relate to that.
To me, you’ve always been a writer, one whose example I use when I coach other writers. And I’m SO happy you’ve found that out yourself. You. Are. Awesome. Thank you for allowing all of us to see into parts of your life and sharing your humanness.
So happy you had a self-reaffirming epiphany, Wil! That’s freaking terrific, and as a fellow chronic depression wanderer I definitely recognize the power behind coming to something like that. Really excited to read the book when it’s published!
That’s why they are called a “Brain Fart”. Sometimes you have no choice but to let them loose and then you feel so much better afterwards. It happens to everyone.
Good – I can’t wait to buy your book when it gets published!
P.S. Inquiring minds would like to know what your “important meeting,” and especially, your “important shoot” are about. Hopefully it will be something we can see!
Im glad you realized who is the boss in this relationship. You would be nothing without your brain. Nothing I say!
Can’t wait to buy/put your book on a shelf and then read it when i get to that part of the shelf. Or maybe i will put something else on the shelf and read your book, or read something I’ve read like 8 times at this point instead.
Books man.
I must be one hell of a imprisoned writer! Have 4 different books to write and can’t write one of them even though my daily life brings my imaginary books to life. Whether its nagging me awake or exhausting me physically ideas can never be trained to follow natural hours of life. Locked within the obtruse corners of my non apologetic brain!
I must be one hell of a imprisoned writer! Have 4 books to write & can’t write one even though my daily life brings my imaginary books to life. Whether its nagging me awake or exhausting me physically ideas can never be trained to follow natural hours of life. Locked w/in the obtruse corners of my unapologetic brain!
I’ve been referring to myself as a theoretical novelist. Like a theoretical physicist, but with fiction. 🙂
There’s poetry in there, Lauren.
I LOVED this post! I am also a writer, and I can really relate!!! I can’t wait to read your book! Love all you do. Keep on, keepin’ on, Wil
I look forward to your book! But… Can you take away time from writing every now and then to be on Trek tv shows? I’d shit myself with nostalgia/happiness!
What a beautiful little story. Hope you were rested enough go survive your meetings and the shoot and then found some strong coffee and/or a very comfy bed to crash in. Looking forward to the book!
That’s fantastic! You Are A Writer.
I already knew you were a writer. You need to listen to me more often. lol
Yes! You are a wonderful writer. I look forward to spending many hours enjoying your work.
Congratulations.
This post made me happy the way a friend getting good news does. So you brought a little joy tfrom my day.
You chose wisely! Congratulations on acknowledging yourself as a writer. Enjoy the journey! 😀
A+ for effort, Wil’s brain, but stop fucking about with Wil’s sleep pattern 😉 Seriously, well done! I had a flash of writing inspiration driving to work a few weeks ago (I am not a writer, but like the idea of writing lol). My brain just kind of went BAM!, and was super happy to get the briefest of brief story synopsis scribbled into my Google Keep notes when I parked the car at work. Probably will take years to develop it further, but I was buzzing with happiness about the BAM! moment. Very best of luck with the new intro and book overall, look forward to reading/listening 🙂
Awesome! And again, congrats.
I love the dialogue you have with your brain, it makes me feel normal 😁