Someone looked at a post I wrote on my blog about taking some time and making an effort to go out and look at the stars, and decided to do this.
It’s just tiny words, and if I were in a different place, emotionally, I’d delete it and move on. But because of where I am emotionally, it stung. I’m sure this person doesn’t see me as a fellow human, who is struggling with profoundly painful grief and loss, who doesn’t deserve to be treated with such casual cruelty.
I’m sure this person is young, is likely suffering in his own way (because everybody is going through something), and is trying to make himself feel better by being hurtful and cruel to someone he views as a safe target.
Look, I’m happy to take this, if it means that a real person in this guy’s life doesn’t become the target of his cruelty, but I’d rather not take it at all. I’d rather that this person stopped before they decided to be so casually cruel.
This person won’t get the public attention they crave (hence the pixelizing), and I doubt that they’ll even see this post, because they probably don’t spend much time away from 4chan and the toxic subreddits, because that’s where this person finds others who are as miserable and cruel as he is.
But I do hope that he matures, develops empathy, and when he has a choice about how he’s going to treat someone in the future, he chooses kindness instead of this sort of thing.
Life is incredibly short, and there’s so much pain and cruelty out there. Do your best to not be part of that.
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You know what Mr T would say.
“I pity the fool”
Further to the relevance of Mr T’s perspective….. wouldn’t it be cool if you teamed up with Mr T to do a short about internet trolls? “I pity the fool who doesn’t make themselves and the world a little bit better every day” kinda PSA.
That reminds me of high school …
You’re brave to put your pain out there so that others can gain strength knowing they’re not alone. Your posts about depression have helped me understand how better to support my friends with similar issues. Unfortunately, it’s the painful input that our brains are programmed to remember. You could get a thousand positive, supportive messages and it’s still impossible to lose track of the one anonymous jackass’ comment. College professors have similar issues come student review time. My husband had classes of 400 students on occasion. With 399 positive reviews, it’s the one negative that he remembers 20 years later.
Please keep hanging in there, and know that you are making a positive difference in the world.
Wil, because of you I tried Bob Ross painting last weekend, and I enjoyed it so much. I can’t wait to try again and see if this is a medium I can learn and improve in. So thanks for being the wonderful and compassionate person you are. ❤️
Wil, when I was in college, you chatted with me on IRC after I saw you hanging out on some TNG channel. (As I recall, you expressed some frustration that the Trek fanbase couldn’t seem to distinguish you from your character.) That was certainly something no other Star Trek cast member ever did! Delurking to say that I was honored you did that and that this guy is wrong, although I suspect he’s trolling and not our to deliberately offend. Here’s hoping you appear on the new Picard series!
Woah. What channel? In the old days I was on #mindvox and #hack pretty regularly.
Probably #mindvox. I haven’t used IRC much since then, but that kind of rings a bell!
Hi Wil,
I know how Mr. Anxiety Brain is always scanning for that one thing out of hundreds that will confirm that you really secretly do suck, in spite of what everyone else says. The only way I’ve found to deal with it is to force myself to stop feeling the feeling, and take a step back and think it through. On your post, for example, I see over a hundred comments sharing childhood memories, support and friendship with you. Which is really more worth taking to heart, the 1 or the 100?
When you focus on the one jerk, you’re not only giving him way too much (which is any) space in your head, you’re kind of doing a disservice to the hundreds of people whose comments offer only support and friendship. After all, who got the attention of an entire additional post? The one jerk. Ignore him, just like you’d ignore one weed in a field of flowers. You’re in the wonderful position of having outlets for your thoughts and feelings where hundreds of people respond immediately with positive and supportive comments. If it were me, I’d focus on that as much as possible, and try and forget about the jerks.
Sir, I should like to give you a gift. — At GenCon 2012, I was all fanboy and stood in line to have you sign the prototype of my first tabletop game (which had been signed but was still in development). The game, The Mansky Caper, has morphed immensely since then, but it finally released last week. I would be honored if you would accept a copy as thanks for your inspiration. If you would, then please private email me a shipping address. — I’m not looking for plugs or any other sharing. This is a gift from a 63-year-old gamer who is grateful for how, once again, you have changed the world for the better. — Oh yeah, and I’m buying your first novel. So there.
Congratulations on your game’s publication! I’m really happy for you. My public address is 10061 Riverside Dr. #595 Toluca Lake, CA 91602. I look forward to playing it!
it takes courage and generosity to say “This happened. It hurt. Please don’t do this.” Thank you.
Sometimes I don’t know what to make of the world – and am quite thankful I have not drawn its attention to me. I wonder how many wonderful people with wonderful ideas that we will never know – because they see how the world treats those with the courage to step forward and be a part of it.
I just bought “Just a Geek” in audio off your bandcamp site. Why? I bought it because I hear elements of you in me. The struggle to find balance. Why am I writting to you? Because I enjoy your work. Writer, actor, creative. Since listening to your audio verison of “Just a Geek” I was pained and struggled with your words and your ups and downs. The painful and yet great desire to find peace and balance. me, being a creative on a different level, yet struggling with my own challenges, I found a book that you may find joy in. Have you heard of the Four Agreements by Don Ruiz? It is brought me a lot of peace in these very difficult times of such fear. Why do I tell you of this? Because I enjoy you. I enjoy you enjoying creating and being you. As a fan I want more Will Weaton and more of what you do and whom you are. I don’t like to see you get hurt and struggle so much against the trolls and hate that people have and direct it towards you. My life is better having experienced your work in all ways. In acting, in live events of DND or recorded Tabletop (to which reinspired my love of boardgames!) or your willingness and excellent personal writtings you share to the public.
Its not about right or wrong, I just simply want more happy Will Weaton because you inspire in what you do when you are free of the crap of anger and hate from people whom fear and use you as the target. Often those whom hate are afraid of those whom can give them peace.
anywho, may you have lots of smiles in whatever you do. If as a fan I am given a chance to buy and experience your works in whatever they may be, I look forward to it. Hopefully with balance and joy in your life. To your and yours Will.
I am sorry that people do this to people, and I am sorry that this one did it to you. Thank you for sharing your empathetic and reasoned response; you help me.
definitely reminded me of the casual shitty things some folks say in highschool…or atleast how I recall it was back in the mid 80’s….
Being a father now in my mid-40’s (46) I can actually say things look like they’ve improved a bit….
hear me out 🙂
back in my day, homophobia was absolutely the norm, and it was rampant…
to say someone was ‘gay’ was an insult and quite often lead to fights etc…
-but today, it’s gotten LOADS better… most highschools I know of (in around Toronto) have a ‘gay-straight alliance’ club…
most kids now don’t have to worry about getting the shit kicked out of them for being different…
back in my day, school fights and bullying were a constant threat…I was never a great fighter, and was lucky enough to have a wide circle of friends, but I had my fair share of fights, getting bullied, etc…
-but today, it’s MUCH less of a problem… zero tolerance appears to be the rule in most schools now…. and while that has it’s own problems, I can say for sure that i know MY kids (15 and 12) have never been in a fist-fight (which is CRAZY for me to think of…I’d been in countless ones by that age)
back in my day, racism was pretty much the norm… the N word, brown kids getting picked on, etc etc..you name it….
in my town, (which like most in southern ontario) was pretty much all white….
-but today?….lol…today, in many of our cities and suburbs, the demographics have shifted to the point, where it’s SOOOO mixed in terms of race, you’d be courting suicide to say something racist….
ok ok ok… my views and opinions are based on a few things….the main one being that we live in Mississauga…which is SUPER multicultural…and the other being that my wife is Indian, thereby making my kids bi-racial….
but I think (hopefully) that my points stand…
– it looks bleak right now…boy does it ever…
but demographics don’t lie….things ARE changing….fast….
too fast for some i think (which is why the ‘right’ are freaking out all over the place….
but they ARE changing….and for the better….
I can often feel nostalgic for the 80s…i was a teen…it was my teen years, and like most, it was an exciting time in my life…
but man, oh man…. when i talk to my kids about those times, they’re often pretty aghast at how shitty things were…(from their point of view)
and you know what?…they’re RIGHT! lol….. my wife was called all kinds of names for being brown…as was her little brother…
but our kids?….nope…not once…. at their schools, it’s so mixed in terms of race, it just wouldn’t make sense…. no one even seems to think about things like that anymore…. kinda blows my mind…
anyhow…sorry for the long post…. (how Canadian of me lol) just thought I’d share my thoughts….
sure there are trolls out there… but man…. from what I can see, things are sure getting better all the time…
PLEASE, I’m serious, delete and don’t call attention to these things. This guy is probably showing all his online associates (probably doesn’t have actual friends), “Look! Look! I made it to the little bitch’s blog! Look how important I am!” or some such. We like to say that sunlight is a good disinfectant, but things grow under the light as well. DO NOT GIVE THESE MONSTERS PUBLICITY. Treat them like the school shooters they are statistically highly likely to turn into someday and DO NOT GIVE THEM AIRTIME, even if you pixelate their names. DO NOT GIVE THEM AIRTIME. It’s hard, but brush them aside like gnats and move on.
Or you could do what I’ve done in the past when I was online more often — I donated money to stuff they hated everytime I got a nasty reaction. “Oops, picked up another troll today, there’s another $50 to Planned Parenthood (or the Jewish ADL, or NARAL, or the NAACP, or some Democrat’s campaign fund, or the Clinton Foundation, or RAICES, or Lambda Legal, pick one).
Don’t quote them, don’t post them, don’t even do it with pixelated names — just state blandly when a new insult comes in, sink a half-C into some good charity, and put up a donation button to the place where you donated. And put up a picture of yourself flipping a nice fat middle finger while you do click the donate button yourself. “We welcome your hate. Inflict even a little of it on us, and we’ll become more powerful, and stand up for one another even more.”
Hell, you can make it a standing blog policy — keep a counter of the insulting posts you get, and a counter of how much you’ve donated. That way, we can all CELEBRATE when the number climbs.
I’m glad you found a way to deal with something like that. I honestly don’t know if I could have the way you did. My own life has been a miserable one with constant battles – both internal and external. Trybthou I might, i can’t seem to to find a way out of the mess I’m in.
At times like now, things get a bit worse. I am working on an idea, it a recent set of increased trouble has begun, and I foresee it getting worse for me. This has slowed me down.
Will, I’m glad at least one of us is able to better deal with the $h1+ life has dealt us.
Forever a grateful fan,
DamonRa (pseudonym)
I’m glad you found a way to deal with something like that. I honestly don’t know if I could have the way you did. My own life has been a miserable one with constant battles – both internal and external. Try though I might, i can’t seem to to find a way out of the mess I’m in.
At times like now, things get a bit worse. I am working on an idea, it a recent set of increased trouble has begun, and I foresee it getting worse for me. This has slowed me down.
Will, I’m glad at least one of us is able to better deal with the $h1+ life has dealt us.
Forever a grateful fan,
DamonRa (pseudonym)
I like you, Wil. You are a good dude.
The guy is likely an infantilized misfit who is part of the alt-right crowd who goes around crying about “SJW’s” at every opportunity. Targeting liberals makes them feel edgy. Screw him – he’s got the sort of mental health issue that is toxic to everyone around him. You were great on Tabletop, and wish you were the new space station dude on MST3K (you’d have been perfect).
This thought goes through my mind more and more often: the older I get, the more I value kindness. Nothing earth-shattering, not a high bar to clear, just being nice to people because we’re all human here. You’re a good man. Don’t forget it.
What an a-hole.
Oh, c’mon…embrace your whiney little bitchness
I’ll never understand why people that don’t know you dislike you for no apparent reason. The age of the Troll is both very real and very smelly. I miss your posts on the “birdsite” but I don’t blame you for leaving. I thought it was a smart move honestly. Cheers and best wishes always
For these people, I am a cipher who they project all their feelings of sadness, impotence, and rage upon. My father has been doing it to me my whole life, so it’s pretty triggering, but at least I know how to deal with it.
Listen, you are going to have to learn how to laugh at yourself. You get 99% blow job comments and one person goes against the grain and you are genuinely hurt. A lot of your posts are self-indulgent, but hey, it’s your blog. If you get hecklers, ignore or take them on. If this guy, who hardly made an insightful comment, hurts you, then thicken your skin a little. If you learn to laugh at the silly comments, you rob them of their powers. If you laugh at yourself, that’s growth and (real) power. You are a lucky guy and a public figure and you need to learn to accept that not everyone will give you praise and adulation. Just say, “Yeah, I do whine because it’s my site, bitch”. Tax of being famous, yo.
You made this comment in the hopes of being laughed at, right?