Today, I have my first audition in … a year? 18 months? Something like that. It’s in 2 hours, and I’ve been preparing the scenes all day. It’s been super fun to break the sides down, try out different intentions and doable actions, and despite my best efforts, now I kind of want to do this role, because I think it would be fun. I won’t book it (I never do), but I’m surprisingly excited just to go into the room, flex my actor muscles for a minute or so, and then come home and get back to my regular life.
I usually go into a room with my scenes prepared, my take on the character, and the professionalism you’d expect from a 40-year veteran actor (holy shit that’s a long time). I have to emotionally separate myself from the outcome, because that kind of thinking gets in the way of my ability to perform, and interpret material.
But I’m not gonna lie: I’d love to work on this movie. The script is adorable and sweet and a lot of fun. It’s a movie for young people, and can I just tell you how strange it feels to know that I’m going in for a role of a teacher/mentor/cool adult in a project that’s really about the kids this character takes care of.
Maybe this will be the first time in over 15 years that I book a job from an audition. The timing is about right, in terms of swings of the bat and actually getting on base. Most actors have between 20 and 30 auditions for each job they book. I average about 4 auditions a year, which affords me lots of time to write and live my life, but makes it VERY unlikely that I’ll be cast in anything. Everything you’ve seen me in since Criminal Minds has been something that I was offered, or asked to do. So in about 15 years, I’ve had about 60 auditions and booked zero of them. I am *way* due to get a hit.
And I have to go into [major studio] today, and forget all of that. I have to forget how unlikely it is that I’ll book the job, or how fun it would be to play this charactern and how much I’d love to be part of something that’s fun and positive and inspiring to kids. I have to throw all that away, pretend none of it exists, and just do my best job interpreting the material, and bringing it to life.
“Just.”
If I’m lucky, what I do will be what they want. But if I’m not the person they want for this role, it’s not going to wreck my day the way it has 60 times over the last decade and a half, because I’ve done a lot of emotional heavy lifting and a lot of vital psychological work to separate my self-esteem and my personal sense of worth, from my success or failure in auditions. Like, I’ll be disappointed when I don’t book this job, but it’s not going to destroy me and make me question my entire life and career choices the way it did as recently as six months ago. It’s profoundly weird to know this.
ETA: I just got home.
I posted some videos on my Instagram story, if you want to see how it went, but … I had SO MUCH FUN! I loved the material, and every single person in the room was so welcoming and present and friendly, they created an environment where I could do my best work.
And I think I did my best work! I made some clear and deliberate choices, and I had a lot of fun bringing this character to life with them. I did two scenes, which show the two (profoundly opposite) poles of this character. I got some direction and made an adjustment on one of the scenes, and had even MORE fun with the direction than I had on my own.
Overall, it was a fantastic and fulfilling experience, and though it remains EXTREMELY unlikely that I’ll be cast, I feel super great about what I did today.
I hope you book it anyway. I will be crushed for you if you don’t. Not debilitatingly crushed….but still.
Fingers crossed. It would be great to see you act again.
Go get ’em! No matter which way this ends up going, you’re The Man 🙂
You are so completely authentic in sharing your thoughts. Have fun!
I understand, and wish you a heart “break-a-leg,’ and then I know you know this, but leave that audition behind you, don’t think about it…and if you actually book it, it’s a nice surprise. But if for some weird reason you don’t…it will be their loss.
That should be “hearty.”
So…you’re in a good place in your life right now, and regardless of how the audition turns out, you’ll still be in a good place. I dunno, sounds to me like you’ve won already, Wil!
That’s what I was going to say! If you don’t have your mental health, you literally have nothing. You have at least the potential to have everything if you have mental health – I know this from personal experience.
A very healthy attitude!
I’ve thought that sort of thing going in before, but then had the sucky emotions anyway. It’s OK if your feelings don’t go as planned – they are unpredictable that way.
Break a leg!
I really hope you get it!
I hope you do get the gig-but if not it won’t be because you wouldn’t be great-it would be on the casting people. You are an asset everytime you do a show-and I hope this movie works out.
Good luck! You are fantastic, and all these Hollywood types who can’t see that need their eyes checked. Seriously, you are a great guy, a great actor, a great writer, a great narrator, and great in lots of other ways that only you and your family know about. Do your best, have fun, and know your talent is appreciated, even if not by all the people who ought to.
I can sort of relate. As a video game industry veteran, my role has primarily been Concept Art, which is the art of showing an indecisive director what they don’t want… “Oh you just did 100 versions of this character? Yeah I don’t like any of these so could you do another 100 I’ll know it when I see it” Forget that I just exhausted myself mentally, physically and creatively on these, that I was enjoying what I was doing and I was following my instincts and it failed. And now I’m expected to do it…again, day after day. Long story short it leads to heaps of self doubt, and an anxiety disorder I’d rather not have. One thing I have learned is it usually isn’t an inadequacy of yours that fails to get the job done, but of theirs. Break legs and stuff.
Ha, that sort of sounds familiar.
I’m a ‘regular’ artist, and I’m in a sketch group with other types of artists. Like graphic design, commercial or video artists.
I’ve often told younger artists (when they submit stuff for a juried show) that it’s not ‘about you or your art’ it’s more if your art ‘fits’ their show concept. This seems true across the board. The graphic/ commercial/ video artists also talk about having submitted something to a client, and being told “your stuff / style isn’t quite what we’re looking for”.
Which is true. Often the clients have an ‘idea’ in mind, or a certain ‘look’ they want for their business, and they want an artist whose style will fit.
Good luck!
Sending all the good vibes and whatever else kids are saying these days! It’s your turn and I would love, LOVE to see you cast in a movie.
Today is my birthday. If the only present I got today was hearing your audition went well, and by that I mean you were happy with what you shared with the casting folks (getting the part would be a bonus) I would have had a good birthday.
Love this. My thoughts are with you, I hope it was a Picard cameo audition.
Break a leg Wil! I hope you do book it!
Break a leg! I’ll be pulling for you!
Loved you in Star Trek, miss you on the screen. What do they no. I haven’t accomplished anywhere near what you have in life. I’ve only ever worked for min wage in restaraunts and often depended on tips. But now at fifty-eight years old, having survived a difficult life, my sense of self worth is unquantifiable. I love every day that I’m blessed to see. You, Will, are a fond and treasured memory of my twenties. I was a punk rocker then and we used to call warf wallnut head. We never missed an episode, and you were a favorite character of everyone. If you don’t know your value… I do, and thank you for entertaining me.
Jeff
Good luck! I would love to see you in a new movie, Wil. <3
Good luck. Glad to see you have a more positive outlook on this.
I’m reminded of juried art shows. A lot of times, the juror for the show looks for artists that fit a particular ‘look’ or ‘style’. It’s really not often about one’s work but more if one’s work ‘fits’ a certain style. It’s definitely not something an artist should take personally, or as a criticism.
Anyway, if you do get it, I’ll definitely go see it.
“Like, I’ll be disappointed when I don’t book this job, but it’s not going to destroy me and make me question my entire life and career choices the way it did as recently as six months ago. It’s profoundly weird to know this.”
Huzzah!
I’m sending positive vibes that you get the part! Congratulations on your therapy gains, I identify with taking things as threats to my self esteem. Fortunately like you, I’m doing better with that.
Mr W, get it. Hope you get to check out my book.about Lou Reed, My week beats your year: Encounters with Lou Reed. Hatandbeard.com. Was at Skylight a month ago and had a fab time. Hope to be back soon. Where’s the next RFB? And as someone dealing with alike alkie issues, thx for the recent post. LaCroix rules.
I’m reading this after your audition, so all I can really say is “I hope it went well and you were happy with what you did.” 🙂
Like so many others, here, I love your passion for your work. It speaks volumes.
FWIW: I hope you get a call back and an offer. I hope you get to do this part and make it your own. But, if you don’t, no worries. There’s a lot more creativity in you waiting to be discovered.
Good luck! I’ve had a rough year or two even on the extra scene. Things are kinda slow in Portland without any major shows or movies so it is mostly commercials and print stuff which becomes very picky. Just want one good gig to pay my fees for the year, then anything over that is just fun stuff.
Good luck!
Best of luck on the job. If you are in it, I will go see it.
I’m actually a little surprised to think that you have to audition for anything. I keep thinking people just ask for you.
I love that you shared this! I read it on FB and have been waving virtual pompoms for you since. “Wil! Wil! Wil!”
I think it’s neat that you mentioned about how strange it feels to be auditioning for the part of the teacher/mentor type person. I’ve felt a strangeness in seeing people on the screen that were acting when we were all teenagers, but now are playing the older adults. But at the same time, I’m now noticing the adults in the stories more. I guess whether we are the storytellers or the audience, we bring our personal experiences to the circle. I appreciate hearing your impression from the other side of the stage.
I hope your audition went great, and that you are satisfied and proud of your acting today!
If you felt like sharing it, I’d love to know how you feel it went.
“Wil for [insert character’s name here]!”
Getting ready to play a game of Lords of Waterdeep with my son. Watching the YouTube video from Table Top. Thank you Wil.👍🏻
Wil, I’ve just gotten passed over for promotion again, for the umpteenth time in the 17 years that I’ve been witj my employer. This time it’s strangely liberating though, because for the first time in my life, I’m giving myself permission to seek my career in writing.
The best of luck, Wil. You deserve it.
Break a leg (if that’s the correct phrase)! We wish you nothing but the best, Wil.
So encouraging to hear. All the best mate.
I would go to see anything that you are in! I hope that the people you are auditioning for are smart enough to see how great you would be in the role.
I hope all went well with the audition and you are pleased with your work, regardless of how the cards settle. I have always been impressed by the courage and tenacity it takes for actors to pursue jobs (both my husband and my eldest son are actors) and by the work that goes into just trying to get a job in the first place!
I’m glad you are in a place, emotionally, where you won’t be destroyed if you don’t get the part.
Gods, isn’t that an amazing feeling? The playing and trying and redirect and trying again with new eyes? I haven’t gone on an audition in probably over a year at this point (if I didn’t have my weekly acting class I would explode). I don’t get why most actors say they hate to audition. I hate self tapes. I hate having to worry about lighting and angles and finding a good reader when I just want to play the part. I’m not a director or cinematographer for good reasons.
I am so so so glad you had a good time and so so pulling for you to get the part. Even if you don’t, you know you had fun and that’s what’s important…she said, sounding like a mentor in a sweet kids movie herself. ☺
Good luck. Book it.
I read this & thought of Ellis Boyd Reddington, facing the parole board…for the third time.
I hope you get it, Will. For you but also for all of us to be able to see you in something you told us you auditioned for!
Sounds a lot like the countless job interviews I went through some years back, and the little to no response I would get, even though I was highly qualified and had years of practical experience. I got to where I would just get my head in a positive place and give each interview my best. I didn’t bother God by praying for the positions because I had enough faith to know that He would always have me right where I was intended to be, doing what I was supposed to be doing. After years of no-goes, I got my foot in the door of the city school district, and now I have the sweetest gig: I am a Behavior Interventionist (kiddie cop, kind of) at a K-5 school in a financially challenged area. I love the love the kids bring me every day with their needs and their innocent trust and way they speak their minds. I leave more energized than when I walk in. And I’ve got the energy and time left over (something I didn’t have as a school counselor or teacher) to work on my arts: music and writing. So it worked out, and I’m riding that wave and loving it. I hope you get the part, Will. I can hear that you would really get a lot out of playing it in the film. That’s a good reason, to want to bring something good to what everyone is working to make worthwhile, no matter what the business. You know the drill of those of us with clinical depression: live each day individually, and find that opportunity to do some manner of kindness to someone out there who needs it. No shortage there, therefore no shortage of goodness coming our way. -Larry
They get to meet you! This will be the highlight of their day, month even.
They get to meet the guy who has an effect named after him. You have the ability to make people spend money at game stores simply because you talk about it.
If they’re lucky, you might even autograph something…
Listen to the tiny potato
I’m glad to hear that you had fun with the audition. As an unsuccessful classical singer I guess I know the struggle and how it can destroy you when your self esteem relies on the outcome of the n-th audition. I only was able to overcome this by giving up my dream and start studying again. Now, I’m on my way to a Master’s degree in computer science and actually very happy with being a programmer.
Still, I’d have loved to find a different way to overcome my anxiety. I hope you find a way to keep this as a positive experience and to go on learning to handle the pressure – no matter the outcome of the audition.
All the best!
Break a leg!
Happy you got to act today! Sounds like it went well.
Good luck!
Congratulations! You did everything you set out to do! A triumph!
Hope you book it as you seem to have had such a great time. Good wishes sent your way
Break a leg. That is in the eloquence and self awareness of your post. We break a leg, yet we carry on. Your willingness to share is helpful. Thank you.
If they don’t see you for the treasure you are then that’s not the the project for you. I’m glad you’re going into this with a beautiful energy and excitement. I really hope that you get this job because I would be awesome to see you in yet another role that you enjoy. I know I read your message late so I really hope you got it and if not just know that we know how special you are and we see you for the treasure that you are
Know that you are an inspiration on so many levels, Wil Wheaton. This post so eloquently shares the importance and value of stepping back to observe and respect your feelings in order to determine a healthy meaning of this opportunity to you.Thank you!
Good luck Wil. We miss Radio Free Burrito, seriously (ding!).