if you don’t read my facebook, here’s what you’ve missed recently

For posterity, and for my personal ownership of stuff I’ve written, this is a collection of posts I’ve recently shared on my Facebook thingy.

I’ve been at this long enough to feel like posting on Facebook is … kind of icky, from my EFF-loving, anti authoritarian, fuck-all-Fascists point of view, but the shitty reality is that Facebook is where people are these days. When I post on Facebook, I’ll interact with hundreds of people, just like I did in the early 2000s right here in this old blog. But when I post here, it’s crickets. So I’ll go where the people are, but I’ll also x-post some of that here, for anyone in the future who cares to read it.

Okay. Here they are. From my Facebook, over the last week or so:

Reminder that your self care is really important. If you live with anxiety or some other super fun mental illness like I do, you may be feeling extra stress and pressure right now. That’s totally normal and valid!

It’s okay to turn off the news, to walk away from the information fire hose for awhile, and simply … exist. Read a book, have a tea or a coffee, play a game, take a walk if you’re able to do that while maintaining appropriate physical distance from your fellow humans. Draw something! Listen to some music!

Whatever you do, the news will be there when you get back. And, honestly? Things are changing so quickly, it’s okay to miss a few hours of breaking news updates.

I wonder if I’m writing this mostly for myself? I feel like I have a responsibility to be productive, and to stay informed so I can be the best husband and father I can be right now, and it can feel a little (or a lot) overwhelming.

and

Is this only funny to me?

I want to check in with a friend. So I type “Just thinking about” and I intend to type “you and [her husband]” but I see that the word “your” is in the predictive text thing. And I just *know* what it is going to lead to, but I have to see for myself, you know? So I tap it, and sure enough, the next word it suggests is “sexy” followed by “body” followed by the little smiley emoji with heart eyes.

I audibly groan and delete the predicted text, sanitize my phone’s screen, just to be safe, and send my intended text message, without the suggested, and thoroughly inappropriate, predicted text.

I’m not shaming anyone who texts that way, but I don’t, and I CERTAINLY do not text that to my friends.

It was just amusing af to me that this series of words gets typed enough that my keyboard app’s predictive text thingy was like I WILL HELP YOU, HUMAN. YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO SEND A CREEPY TEXT AND IT IS MY TIME TO SHINE.

Uh, no. Thanks. I’m good, predictive text.

and

Y’all who are on the front lines, going to work, ensuring that our society continues to function, even while everything is so disrupted, are major heroes.

I am so grateful for your dedication and your commitment to making sure your fellow humans have a place to go, and a person to talk to, when they need it.

Thank you!

and

A random person flipped out at Anne on Twitter, because she took a walk by herself, stayed far and safely away from anyone else, and had the nerve to post a picture of herself online while she was out.

She’s been getting all sorts of criticism for pretty much everything she does, from tons of random strangers online who seem to keep forgetting (or choosing to ignore) that she’s a grown-ass woman who isn’t doing anything wrong.

This one person in particular made me really, really, REALLY mad. I’m stressed af. I’m wound up as tightly as I’ve been wound up in maybe my whole life, and I feel like I could just EXPLODE if the wrong person says the wrong thing to me … or to the most important person in my entire world.

But I took a deep breath, listened while Anne expressed how frustrated she is feeling with people being shitty to her online, and I tried to maintain some perspective, tried to understand where this person was maybe coming from. I concluded that they feel afraid, and out of control, so they are lashing out, to give that emotional energy a place to go. It’s not okay that this person and so many people like them are telling a fully-grown woman how to live her life. It’s not cool to act as a gatekeeper, diminishing someone’s experience because *you* have decided that someone *else* has a worse experience.

I have the luxury of not being the stressed out mom and wife who is doing her best to get through a *really* scary and terrifyingly uncertain time. I have the luxury of not being the woman who was, once again, lectured by a man about how she is allowed to exist. Check that. I have the *privilege* of being a man, so that gives me an opportunity to depersonalize what happened to Anne, and use it as a teaching moment.

I’m doing my best to be the person I need in the world, and this is what I need today:

*gestures wildly at everything* all this is really hard for everyone, and I have to believe that everyone is dealing with it as best as they can. Yes, even the people who freak out at you online because you walked your dog (while safely staying 6 feet away from everyone). Yes, even the people who show up in every thread to act like this is a contest, gatekeeping who is and isn’t allowed to express frustration, boredom, or fear.

We are all scared, for a whole huge list of reasons that may all be wildly different, and humans don’t make the best choices when we are acting from a place of fear.

I’m scared, and I’m not going to pretend that I’m not. I would be a h*cking sociopath if I *wasn’t* scared. Basic math says someone I care about is eventually going to get sick, and may even die. The jackass president of my country makes things worse every time he opens his lie hole. The work I expected to be doing right now has all been pushed back by months, and I suddenly find myself staying at home, instead of having this amazing adventure, doing work I’m so excited to do.

But I’m not panicking. There is plenty of food, even if some things are scarce right now. I’m safe in my home and in my community.

I am remembering to focus on the things I *can* control, so I don’t obsess (and feel disempowered by) the things I can’t control. I’m listening to public health officials, trusting the scientists, and social distancing. I’m planning my meals with my family, and we’re going to the store as infrequently as we can. (And I wish I could go to the store more often, because a little bit of normal in all of this is SUPER IMPORTANT for mental health. I’m choosing to be grateful when I *do* go to the store.)

And I am doing my best, in my way, to be a helper, because I *need* to see helpers in the world, I need to know they are there. I need to believe that, for every person who is a jerkass online, there are a dozen out there right now, working in grocery stores and delivery services and hospitals and research labs.

Making the choice to be a helper has been really good for my mental health, in countless ways.

Can you be a helper, too?

Let’s do our best to choose kindness, patience, and empathy.
Let’s do our best to be gentle with ourselves, and with others.
Let’s be compassionate.

We are all in this together. This is, literally, our entire planet going through something scary, together, at the same time. And the thing is, it doesn’t care if you’re rich or what country you were born in or who you love. In the eyes of COVID-19, we are all equal, and we need to start acting like it. We need to take care of each other. The only way we are going to get through this, is by working together.

And let us remember that everyone is dealing with this as best as they can, and let us not be a dick to our fellow humans.

Thanks for listening.

and:

Another X-post from my Tumblr Ask Me thingy:

QUESTION: Would you be willing to donate your voice talents to an indie podcast for an episode or two? Should we contact your agents or would you be willing to handle it on your own? (The voice actors don’t get paid as most of us are doing for the love of it and what money we do make has thus far gone into promotion and production costs.) At the very least, would you be willing to listen to the show and mention it on social media if you like it?

ANSWER: I love that you asked me, and I’m going to give you an answer in public that I hope doesn’t turn too many people off: I *love* that you are being creative and making amazing new art. That is wonderful, and I wish you all the success in the world. When I was younger, I did projects like yours all the time and I loved it.

But I can’t be part of this for you, and I want to explain why.

I get asked all the time to donate my work, my time, my experience, etc., to projects, and I always have to decline. It’s not because I don’t believe in you, or want to support you. It’s because I’m working full-time as it is, and any spare time, energy, or creative inspiration I have really needs to go into my own projects, as I continue to build my career as a voice performer, narrator, and (hopefully) novelist.

I don’t feel your ask is unreasonable, at all, and I’m *thrilled* you had the courage to reach out. I’m also honored to be thought of as someone you want to work with. I hope you understand the practical realities of my life, and I hope you aren’t put off by my need to decline your kind invitation.

As to your final question, I rarely listen to podcasts these days, and I struggle to make time to listen to audiobooks. You can send me a link when it’s done, and I’ll make an effort to give you feedback, but I can’t promise anything.

I wish you the best of luck! I hope you’re the next Welcome To Nightvale.

and

Another question from my Tumblr ask thingy: So, I’m sorry if this is something that you’ve answered/been asked before. But I’m trying to start a DnD campaign. I’ve been playing since I was 4 (so about 23 years now), but I’ve never tried to run a campaign. I’m having a hard time trying to figure out where to start and staying on track with it. But I want to introduce my roommates to the game and I want it to be as fun and magical for them as it was for me when I first played. Do you have any advice? Thanks so much! I hope you’re doing well.

My answer, which I’ve edited a little bit to add some more thoughts:

When I was younger, I always put a ton of pressure on myself to write my own modules, build my own world, and do all that work that I wasn’t really able to do (and didn’t want to do). I have no idea why I felt that way, but it wasn’t until I was teaching RPGs to my own children about 15 years ago that I realized it was time wasted.

So with that in mind…

Don’t start out with the core books and one of the epic adventure books. You’ll all get there, eventually, but that’s a LOT to handle when you’re running a campaign for the first time, or playing the game for the first time. Players and DMs can *absolutely* start there, but I don’t recommend it.

I recommend starting out with the 5e Starter Set, or the 5e Essentials set. Both give you everything you need, for the players and for the DM, to play and experience everything that makes D&D awesome. They both take the players through several levels, and the writers take time throughout the whole thing to tell the DM not just what you’re supposed to do, but *why*you need to do it, to make the game work. You can sort of lean how to run a campaign this way, from some of the best DMs in the business.

But they do not overwhelm you with information, which is what sets them apart from the core books, for a new player. The important, foundational rules are all there, but they are streamlined just enough to prevent overwhelming new players with information they don’t really need. Nobody who ever plays them (and I’ve played them both) will ever feel like they are playing a slimmed-down version of the game. It’s just cleaner and easier to follow.

and finally:

I *need* to be creative, and until I have the creative energy to write my own stories, I’m going to do a thing I’m pretty good at, and narrate some public domain short stories.

As long as people are listening, I’ll keep recording. Your feedback is important to me.

Okay, that just about catches me up, here.

Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET

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136 thoughts on “if you don’t read my facebook, here’s what you’ve missed recently”

  1. I’m locked out of my Facebook account, so I appreciate your blog tremendously. Please continue to cross-post occasionally, if it’s not too much trouble.

  3. Thanks for sharing on your blog! Like many commenting, I don’t use facebook, so it’s great to catch up — as well as the people in the future thing.

    Speaking of WWdN posterity, are the older archives down right now? Definitely understand if it’s deliberate or a thing that’s annoying to fix, etc.

    Thanks again for sharing your insights and stories here.

  4. Personally I have enjoyed your narration. I’ve listened to your books and ones that you’ve just narrated. Are you not getting our comments. I wouldn’t really call it crickets. Just sayin.

  5. I’m glad you posted here, because I would have missed it on FB.

    Since you are running WordPress, you can use the Jetpack plugin to share to a Facebook page (not a personal page though). I moved my entire social sharing to my personal blog, and then share it out to FB to Twitter.

    I’m still hopeful RSS will make a comeback. I don’t have time to sift through everything on FB and Twitter.

        1. I ended up going with Inoreader. The free version is nice, but ended up subscribing when they ran a special at Christmas.

  6. Wil, this is great! Please continue doing this. As a fellow writer, I 100% understand that feeling of having everything set up but just not feeling like actually writing, it’s rough. I just re-listened to Dead Trees Give No Shelter and I loved it even more, please know that you are an immensely talented writer even if it doesn’t always seem that way. Thank you for helping us all stay sane by giving us something to listen to and enjoy 🙂

  7. Thank you. You are fundamentally what I believe humanity should be. You have saved my life more than once. I greatly apologize for not being able to reach out to you before this. I’ve started and tried so many times. Personally, we had far too much in common {as ironic as that sounds on the larger level at the moment}. Needless to say, Paradigm Shift in Perspective. It was always going to take something like this to shift the world to realize what truly matters. Being the people I know your audience is, in times like this, as much responsibility as is on our shoulders, we realize at the core the dichotomy of how important we are in this moment and equally how none of this is about us. I know that it’s why you and I are still here.

    Beyond so loyal and loving Cricket. {Chirp}

  8. I do see your stuff on facebook, but I check your blog for updates almost every day. I try to steer clear of facebook as much as I can.

  9. I’m old school and RSS your blog so I don’t miss a post. Also, I’m not a Facebooger. So blog on, my frirnd!

  10. Facebook moves so quickly that I miss your posts there so I’m grateful for this blog. Just went on my first JoCo Cruise. Hope you’ll be there another time.

  11. I’m surprised to hear you say it’s crickets here. Every time I’ve replied there’s already been multiple pages of comments, which I would consider to be a lot of response. I guess it must be much more on FB.

    Thanks for thinking of us here in non-FB land. The few, the proud. 🙂

  12. Wouldn’t go near Facebook with a barge pole. Don’t abandon your blog in the misconception no one’s reading it!

  13. Thank you for sharing all of your comments from Facebook and Tumblr. I don’t really go to either site anymore, usually just Instagram. So I’m happy that you posted the stuff that I’ve missed. Thank you! I always enjoy hearing what you have to say.

  14. Thanks for the catch up, Wil. Good to hear your voice. In my world (Upstate NY) there are lots of people saying and doing the helper things despite stress in their lives, too. Sad to hear the backlash Anne received for being both positive and responsible. We all believe getting outside (it snowed about 6″ here yesterday) is absolutely wonderful and needed. Keep writing here. (We crickets bring good luck.)

  15. Hi Wil,

    I just read your whole email. It’s so good to hear from you. It reminded me of seeing you on the Star Trek cruise last year! I really enjoyed your reading of your novel. We just returned from this year’s voyage before the crisis hit. Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts and hope you have a great day!

    🖖

  16. I don’t do Facebook (nothing wrong with those that do — just not for me) but I do do RSS. Thank you for continuing to support the blog.

  17. Also a No Homers Clu… er, non-Facebooking cricket here. Thanks for posting all of this; it’s an encouraging and distressing time, sometimes jumping between extremes within seconds, but good folks always come out on top. (Eventually.)

    Now to find a feed for your Soundcloud!

  18. I dropped out of FB three years ago. Since then I have carefully curated a set of websites and active blogs that I visit every couple of days. Yours is the first site on my list. It’s always a pleasant surprise to see a new post from you and the response here in this community you built. Thanks for helping me recreate a little of my social experience from the olde internet of yore.

  19. I don’t go on FB much these days, too many crickets there for me. Most people want to be heard but never want to listen. As to shitty people, it’s bad enough when things are normal, it’s definitely not welcome at a time like this. We either got to pull for each other, or watch it all unravel. I also have to deal with anxiety and depression, plus I’m ill. Great timing.

  20. Your first post since I found an RSS reader (after so many years after Bloglines and Google Reader shut down)! I think I’ll still follow you here.

  21. In 2009, I was in Sofia, Bulgaria taking video in a church to post to FB. I said to myself: “WTF am I doing? I don’t even like churches.” I deleted my account. Enjoyed the rest of my trip. I did try to post a couple of videos to YouTube while in Serbia, but was not happy with them. To this day, I kid you not, Facebook still sends me spam even though I’ve tried unsubscribing a half dozen times.

    Ladies and Germans, PPE up. Seriously. This outbreak is authentic horror. Mask, goggles, gloves. And stay home. I’m in China and have been self-quarantined (no symptoms) for two straight months. My wife hasn’t murdered me yet, so that’s kinda nice. Be smart. Don’t hope, don’t wish, prepare. And as always… Make Mine Morey Amsterdam!

      1. I went into self-imposed lockdown in January. Regularly watching the Peak Prosperity YouTube channel (and other sources, of course) since then, so well prepared. The grocery stores never closed here. I’m not in Hubei. In the northeast. Big city. Getting food was never hard. Some minor shortages temporarily at first, but since replenished and food is plentiful and reasonably priced. They even delivered, though I didn’t do that. Western imports that went out of stock have not been replenished, but those were mostly unnecessary creature comforts like beer, candy, ice cream, and such. All non-grocery businesses closed though. No admittance to stores without temperature check and ID scan. That is still in place. Schools still closed.

        Currently, the CCP is in the midst of PR campaign to blame foreigners and declare that “China is back, baby.” It ain’t. They just cooked the books. They need the factories to reopen. I haven’t relaxed any precautions. Everyone here wears masks now (not before), but they’re already getting sloppy. It’s only starting, but the CCP has declared it to be over.

        Missing doctors, missing citizen journalists, arrests of dissidents, WeChat accounts banned, and today all foreigners locked out. But I’m inside now, so we’ll see what happens. Certain VPNs working (obviously), but they can decide to turn those off at a whim.

        1. Wow! Thanks for posting! You’re brave! I guess there are many things we take for granted here that we should be more grateful for. Stay well and be safe!

  22. I love it when you post on your blog. It’s quiet and civilized. So sorry to hear about Anne getting grief about a walk. Good for her for getting some time in the big blue room and taking care of herself. Sending healthy thoughts your way.

  23. Don’t use Facebook and don’t ever go near the cesspool twitter so I definitely am excited every time I see another post here. Wil what you do does matter.

  24. Thanks, Wil. It may be crickets here, but some of us just don’t say much. I assumed you got far too many comments from strangers to want to read them all, so I usually just read and move on. I appreciate your posts, your vulnerability, your honesty. I share many of your struggles, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Writing and acting are my escapes, my way of giving something back to the world. I know writing is a boon to you as well, acting not so much. Just for laughs, you may or may not remember that comedy feature I wrote for you, which Chris loved (Senseless Confidential). Well, even though we’re both too old for it now, the script’s won an award and placed as well. It would’ve been fun to work together. I wish you well, especially in these weird-ass scary times. Keep at the writing and sharing. Peace.

  25. Mark me down as another “don’t do Facebook” person. Please please continue to post here, and please don’t take lack of comment for anything other than quiet appreciation that you continue to blog (from a long-time reader who does occasionally comment).

    Thank you for your words here, keep well.

  26. Hi Wil, thanks for posting here. I’ve been reading WWdN in its various incarnations since 2000, and I too find using Facebook icky for similar reasons. Thanks again for all you do.

  27. Mr. Wheaton,

    I’m another non-Facebooker. I don’t usually post a comment because others tend to have already written whatever I might have said. But I do read your blog posts.

    I was moved by your kind reply to the reader who inquired whether you might lend your voice to their podcast. I wish everyone who had to turn down an admirer could manage to be so encouraging. I especially appreciated your acknowledgement of the courage it took even to make the request.

    I am so sorry your wife got trolled. I keep reading how important it is to get out and get some fresh air and exercise. You two are so fortunate to have each other.

    And I am always grateful for your honesty about the toll taken by mental health issues. Mine have been flaring up for a while — certainly since 2016 — and this plague, oddly, isn’t cheering me up.

    Please keep posting here.

    Ruth

  29. Sorry man, I ditched Facebook for good about a fortnight ago. Just can’t in good conscience support them; glad I still see your stuff though. In all fairness I was never really on it anyway – I didn’t even know you had a Facebook account. 🙂

  30. I’m glad that you decided to post your thoughts here too, as I prefer to not enter in my FB account. I hope you never stop doing this thingy here.

    And always remember that we are here for you, whenever you need us.

  32. Thanks, Wil. Another non-FB reader here. I appreciate your thoughtful, compassionate approach to, well, everything. Stay well.

  33. Hi Wil,
    I read every single post you put up here. But I read it on feedly, so you probably don’t even see the traffic.

    I enjoy your audio narration a lot. I have you and Mark Hamill in the same category. I can’t put my finger on why. He was excellent in World War Z, wasn’t he? I’m definitely going to listen to your vintage short stories on Soundcloud.

    Thank you for everything you do.

  34. I dumped Facebook about two years ago because my family became too overwhelming for my anxious brain. I moved to better media, like The Old Reader, to keep up with the people and stuff I love the best (your posts, The Oatmeal, SMBC, xkcd to name a few). I found I not only had WAY more time in my life than I realized, I have learned I have to disconnect to stay myself.

    I don’t post here often (and haven’t in over a year) because I didn’t think you or anyone else cared what I had to say. It seemed a waste of everyone’s time (again, that silly voice in my head telling me I’m not worth the effort, right?).

    I am learning during this time that I DO need to connect, even if no one ever reads what I write. I DO need to comment if for no other reason than to bring more positivity into the ether. I follow you and Anne on Instagram too (I love the pet pics and Anne’s loveliness). I was angry that she had to turn off comments because people can be dicks. I agree with your assessment of our human response to stress.

    I offer my professional opinion (excommunicated anthropologist) that those without power or status will lash out at those they perceive to have power or status in order to try to bring themselves up and the other down. Unfortunately, in our current environment, we really cannot show our power or status physically or by showing our hunting prowess. We have our words and our anonymity makes us feel safer to use any words. And we don’t have personal connections to gate keep our words. Doesn’t make it any better, sorry. I will say, I wish more people would get a second opinion before hitting post. I love that The Husband and I have an agreement to always be a second opinion when something we are about to post, email, text may be perceived as critical.

    Anyway, the tldr: Wil and Anne – you are adored, appreciated, and understood way more often than the dicks of the world will ever know. Keep being you.

  35. I deleted my FB/Insta accounts a while back. I read every one of these posts. They make me laugh, cry, angry, hopeful…all at the same time. Please keep posting here.

  36. Thanks for posting here. The other problem with Facebook, other than all the ickiness you already mentioned, is that they keep changing the algorithm of what you see in your feed. Unless I explicitly remember to check your feed, I miss things. Here I can set an RSS feed and get notified when you post.

    1. Add your blog to your profile or post the address, I’ll add it to my RSS reader!

  37. I use facebook to keep up with family/friends, that’s it. Oh, to also get the latest medical advice. 🙂 FB’s version of what I want in my feed differs from what I want. If I did try and view you there, I’d probably see 10% of your posts. The blog is the way to go. Thanks for all you do!

  38. Thanks for cross-posting here, Wil. I follow you on FB as well, but I only see a small part of what you post there. Part of it is probably because FB moves quite fast, and part is probably the algorithms they use to decide what to stick in front of our faces. This is why I still love blogs. I decide what I read, not some algorithm. So thanks, again, for cross-posting.

  39. Yeah, I deactivated my Facebook account so my blog posts no longer automatically appear on my page there. And am now experiencing crickets. Can’t tell yet if I’m disappointed or gently relieved.

  41. Another FB avoider here. I love reading the blog posts. They are always a highlight for my day when a new one posts. Thank you for taking the time and precious energy to share here.

  42. Wil, I’m not a cricket! (I know it’s a joke). I hate Facebook, I closed my account in 2004, about the same time I found your blog, and never looked back. What I’ve found interesting is that you posted so much on your blog, and you were reaching hundreds of people, and then you announced you were thinking of closing your blog, so I just assumed you weren’t very active online anymore.

    Then in late 2018 I started an Instagram account (2 actually, for my businesses) and decided to open a private Instagram account to follow people who did interesting things that weren’t related to my business, and lo and behold! Wil Wheaton is on Instagram. All. the. time.

    So now I read your blog every morning, hoping for an update, but also keep up on Instagram. Facebook is trash. I’ll bet if you pushed your blog on Instagram, more people would read you here.

    Thank you so much for not abandoning your blog for us Facebook haters. I love your blog posts. You express yourself so well in the written word.
    P.S. Your blog isn’t set up as https://

  43. I’m not on Facebook and don’t want to be. Please keep feeding this blog. I really enjoy your writing, your voice work (especially on recorded books), and your openness on issues you face in your life. Thank you.

  44. That’s a lot of noisy crickets here. Me too. I try to avoid FB so thanks for cross posting!

  45. Thanks for the cross post! Lots of warm, supportive words here, and I appreciate seeing them. Yes, this reduced my stress.

    I do not see your posts on FB, and I check the blog at least once a week. It’s true that I seldom comment! So I suspect you have many lurkers.

  46. I was just thinking about you a couple days ago after I saw you pop up in a BBT episode. I was wondering if you were doing ok through all the madness that’s going on. I’m sorry you’ll mostly be posting to FB now, but you do what you need to do. Stay safe.

  47. I deleted my Facebook-self years ago and have not regretted it one bit. Thank you for giving me more reasons to not regret it by taking the time to re/cross-post here. And thank you for creating a space of thoughtful kindness in the storm of crazy.

  48. I’m limiting my FB time, was even before the Plague because of the 45th Lie Hole (I love that descriptor). And checking the side bar here, I may not be getting notifications on all your posts, because I haven’t seen at least two of those. I don’t always comment, I’m a mentally ill hermit, and who really wants to hear what I have to say anyway? (Yeah, I know, illness talking.) And now my daughter tested positive, and I have all the early symptoms with no access to testing unless I want to go to the hospital and potentially expose some kid who broke their arm. I’m taking care of myself. Be gentle with yourself, Will. You are important to a lot of us out here, even if we just watch from the shadows.

  50. I don’t use Facebook, so I super appreciate you sharing your thoughts with us on here as well! Blogs ain’t dead and RSS is still kicking!

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