Nothing is more important to me in my life than to be the father I never had.
Since we came into each other’s lives, I’ve worked so hard to love, nurture, guide, and cherish my boys. It’s so important to me that I never make them feel humiliated, small, unworthy, unloved, or any of the ways my father made me feel every day of my life.
I feel like I may have succeeded, because we are incredibly close, the three of us. We play games together, we hang out together, they seek my advice and my counsel, and I love it when they come to my house to spend time with their mom and me.
This quarantine has been tough for everyone, but it was especially hard to not have my family together. Ryan is an essential worker (on a medical leave right now. He’s fine, don’t worry. Thank you for your concern) so we couldn’t be in the same room as him until just about a week ago, which was two weeks after he took his leave from work.
Now that the four (five, counting my daughter in law) of us have been isolated for so long, we feel like it’s safe for us to do family activities again, like take long walks or get together for family meals.
Ryan came over a little bit ago, just because he wanted to be around his family. As I write this, my boys are playing Frisbee in the street, right outside my open window. They are laughing together, supporting each other, and enjoying the experience of being together, sharing some time together.
It makes me so happy when I see my boys love each other, and care about each other. It makes me feel like I did a good job raising them with core values of empathy, compassion, and respect for each other.
I keep seeing these stories of people who are going nuts because they’re forced into tight quarters for an extended period of time with their families. I have massive empathy for that. I especially empathize with single parents, and parents of smaller kids (and the hormonal teens) who are really struggling to adapt to our current circumstances. But I’m also intensely grateful that I don’t feel that way about my wife and kids. I’m intensely grateful that we all love and respect each other, that we’ve found ways to support each other, give each other space, and never stop loving each other through all of this.
Oh! The boys are coming into the house. Maybe I can convince them to do something with me.
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You deserve all this happiness, Wil.
This is wonderful! Congratulations on a fine job of conscious parenting!!
Love this! You done good Sir!
This is beautiful, Wil. I have met both of your sons. It is obvious how much they care about you and what a wonderful father you are.❤
In a very similar situation with 2/3 of the kids already out of the house. Needed to figure out some safe ways to get together, but so happy when we get a chance to.
Well done, Wil! (Parenting, that is.)
Hmm, was that a World Party reference? You are so fortunate to be able to be with family. I never knew how important simple contact was until I had none of it for two months.
I am listening to them now as a result of the title.
I spent an hour with them 🙂
You are a fantastic husband and father!!! I am a single mother of seven adult children, 12 grandchildren, and 1 great granddaughter. I love spending time with all of them, and being in lockdown with any or all of them wouldn’t be a problem at all. I’ve always played games, done artwork, played musical instruments, danced, done gymnastics, and more with them, and I love it. Sometimes it seems that parents aren’t enjoying being parents, and that’s sad. Is it a sign of the times with adults always so busy? Anyway, you are a great example, and we need more just like you! Keep on being the wonderful person you are and setting the GREAT example!!!
I need to be more like you! You are awesome! Keep it that way!
Congrats on being a great parent and kudos to your wife and kids for helping you be one in their own ways too. Like any relationship, I think being a family takes a lot of work and that some people often forget that.
I had serious anxiety issues right before the lockdown and had to move in back with my elderly parents. It turned out we supported each other and it’s been great. I think we’ve been all making efforts to make sure things went as smoothly as possible. Also had dinner with my brother for the first time in a month or something tonight. Felt great too.
Wishing you and your family the best. Stay safe.
Wonderful story. So glad you have such a rewarding and reciprocal relationship with your boys. It’s great to read a positive post about being in this together. We sometimes forget the good times and special gatherings. As a single person (my husband died a few years ago and since, all my furry friends have also died), it’s been tough at times. Stories such as these perk me up and remind me to remember my special times. Thank you, Wil.
What a wonderful world, a lovely picture. Peace and Love to you and your family!
Hi Wil – I’ve been meaning to write you for quite a while now and this post seems like the perfect time to do it. I just wanted to give you a quick thank you for writing your early books and sharing some of the experiences of being a (step) father as they really helped me navigate my own situation. You and I are contemporaries and like you, I met my amazing wife and her two boys as a young man. While it was incredibly seamless for them to accept me as a stepfather, I always struggled a bit with accepting that they accepted me, if that makes sense. I suppose I was a bit insecure in my new role despite the fact that no one else was. I’m not sure they noticed my insecurity; I hope not. I remember reading your books and stories like the baseball section of “Ready or Not, Here I Come” and the completely relatable car ride in “i am the modren man” and feeling a great deal of comfort and assurance from how you described your relationship with your sons; I got the same feeling with your post today. The reason I put “step” in brackets earlier is that of course, you’re not a stepfather really, your a father, and with the help of some of your stories that you’ve graciously shared, I know that so am I. My boys are men now, one living in Wyoming and the other in Newfoundland (my wife and I are between Toronto and Niagara Falls). Both are successful and best of all happy and I couldn’t be prouder of them or to be their dad. It’s been hard during this lockdown only to see them on Skype as my wife and I were supposed to head out the the Rock in April and who knows when we can get across the border to the States again, but we’ll get through – family always does. Thanks for sharing the gift, Wil. Your reach may be further than you know.
What a lovely, wonderful post 🙂 Thank you for sharing it. You are lucky. Family is so important, now moreso than ever.I have a son still at home, resenting the lockdown, pushing the boundaries of it, and I get that (he’s a hormonal teenager!) who has just been through the emotional mill (our school system said it was going ahead with final exams for those about to leave the equivalent of high school, then said maybe we won’t, then said yes, we’re going ahead, before finally cancelling all further study and exams that determine college entry, just this week. He now faces the uncertainty of “predicted grades”).
My daughter, however, is on the far side of the world, with nobody close except her partner, in a country that seems to be muddling through the crisis in spite of, not because of, its government’s response. They’re both out of work, and anxious as all hell, understandably so. To be able to have both close by, visiting, huggable… I’d give anything for that right now.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I LOVE this posting Wil! I’ve been in isolation with my Fiancée since this all started and I took the time last night to TELL Her just HOW MUCH I’ve Loved having her here at my place with me and that she was NOT “Cramping my Style”! We plan to get a house soon and move in together permanently so this has sort of been like a “Trial Run” you could say?
I’ve also been able to see my Grand Kids a few times at their house and I’ve loved EVERY Minute of it! I MISS not being able to be with them as much as we used to? Not being able to go swim at the local indoor pool… go to Gaming stores or a Movie… But I still bring over Chinese food or a couple of Pizzas and we watch something on Netflix or Amazon… so it’s still good. 😀
I LOVE how conscientious you are about being a “GOOD FATHER” to your boys! That is SO Important! And I know it isn’t easy coming into a relationship with someone that already has kids. But YOU are what ALL Parents/Adoptive or Step-Parents and Grand Parents/Step Grandparents SHOULD be… and sadly sometimes are NOT! 🙁
But this posting was VERY Uplifting! Thanks for the great sharing Wil. Now Go play with the Boys! 😀
Joe
Our 16 & 18 year old sons’ happiest moments during all this: the day their 21 year old sister came home to start online classes for the remainder of the Spring semester & yesterday when her CSU announced that Fall classes would be online as well. Everything we’re saving on gas for 3 cars is now getting thrown at the food budget, LOL, but we are all grateful to be together.
Excuse you, EXCUSE YOU I AM CRYING NOW THIS IS ALL SO BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET HOW DARE YOU!
Such an uplifting post, thank you Wil, and hooray for the family you have. I live with my daughter and son in law in their big house, and we have commented many times during this quarantine that we are very lucky. We get along really well and the only sad part in all this is my granddaughter is quarantined out of state at college and we miss her terribly. Fortunately she’s there with her longtime boyfriend so not alone and we are doing a lot of facetime, but we look forward to seeing her when it is safe.
Thank you again for such a sweet post!
As a parent in a blended family I can relate how much it means to have a good relationship with your non biological children. It can be challenging. I don’t know if your sons’ biological dad was/is around on any capacity. Whatever the case may be, it is good that they know how much you love them even though you don’t share DNA. I did not have a good experience with my own stepfather, so when I became a stepmom I tried very hard to let her know I wasn’t trying to take her mom’s place but that I did love her like she was one of my kids just the same.
Love reading what you and all readers who commented on your post shared about spending time with family. We homeschool our youngest girls so we were already all together most of the time anyway. Now we miss our extra curricular activities but otherwise not much has changed. We have done our best to fill those times with family activities. Although our teen girls roll their eyes when we bust out a puzzle or suggest family movie night, they are right there with us solving the puzzles or picking a movie we all want to watch. They practice their instruments more now, which is great to hear their progress. We go for more walks and bike rides now, and they are planning where we should put the pool in our yard when it actually gets warm enough to do so. I think my husband is going to enlist them in helping build a fence pretty soon as well. They miss their friends and our extended family, but we have them use Zoom or play games together online to help them stay in touch. We have 3 adult children. Most of our contact has been via text and phone calls, and a couple of standing outside while our daughter stands inside her house visits. It’s a weird time but I’m glad we have all of the technology that can help keep us close even when we can’t see each other in person.
One DM plus four players makes for an ideal D&D party size! 🙂
As a fathered three grown kids, I love this.
Love this–so much–love.
Amazing. I hope I’ll be able to have a wonderful relationship with my now-one-year-old son like the one you have with your sons!
I’m sure you had a wonderful afternoon with the family!
This is wonderful. I’m essential. So is my brother. It’s hard not being able to visit people. I miss my Rebel Legion folks and found family most, but this too shall pass, and I’m glad you can have your family all together.
Hey Wil, This is lovely. I’m so glad you’ve built the family you deserved with Anne and your boys. And Yes some of us are struggling at home with our teens. Not because teens are the horrible hormonal monsters they are made out to be, but because their task right now is to be moving away from us a little. Finding their way in the world, making their own space. My kids had both hit a new stage of being involved in things that they loved, making new friends, and now that’s all gone. Only they don’t have that now. And it’s harder to give that too them while we are all on top of each other. I suspect having read so much of your writing about your family that the love and respect you gave the boys was accompanied by that same space, and that’s part of the lovely time you get to have now.
Thanks, Will. Always enjoy your writings. Love & kindness really do win. It’s always good to have those reminders.
Hello Will,
I began following your blog because I had the crazy idea that I could wright a blog…ha ha. I am not a writer. However, I am an artist and work as a design consultant. Which is why I thought, hey, design blog… Yeah, no… Anyway, I have always wanted to illustrate a book. I have recently come up with an illustrated story concept that could appeal to both adults and children. Any advice on how to get such a thing published?
Just curious… I know it’s a long shot…
Jennifer
I don’t have enough experience to give useful advice, beyond pointing you toward SFWA, which has always been a tremendously useful resource for writers, and is for me, too.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I will check out SFWA and take their questionnaire.
Thank you, Wil. The thing that I am personally grateful for during this quarantine, besides being healthy, is that we are all getting along. Glad to hear that you are all sheltering well.
Love this Wil. All the best to you and your family.
My heart is happy for you. I wish my current situation with my own boys was half this good but my hopes and prayers are for improvement. Enjoy your great success… You worked hard for it, you earned it.
You are the dad I want to see in the world.
There is something really nice about slowing things down and enjoying the time. We were in Wisconsin (myself and hubby) and our daughter finally was able to get some knee surgery that she needed when this all started but was put on hold. She’s in Colorado, so we packed up the car and drove there. It is close quarters but there’s been more time (even with her husband working from home) to get in the backyard with their boys (a 6 and a 10 yr old) and play, eat outside, etc. Well be here throughout the summer so if we are still under quarantine we’ll see how it goes as we find creative ways to give each other space.
Put the message in the box…….
I am cooped up with my “lil” one (turning 15 in July). I am the primary parent and since his mother is a nurse, his “every other weekend” with her is on indefinite hold.
It is fine and all, but I really don’t like us being off our previous daily patterns with him doing school from home and me working from home.
We are together but separate most of the time. We MIGHT watch one tv show every few days, maybe a movie once a week of two. But nowhere near as much time together as we used to when we had our daily plan of work/school –> homework/games/house work –> Dinner and tv shows/movie. Now we just kind of play it by ear in this new dynamic. Not as much time together when school can begin or end at almost any time, my work is wrapped up 30min before I used to get home and we are here all day. Not the usual day with catching up and spending time together at the end.
Anyways, just dropping my comment about my situation as I enjoyed reading about yours.
SD
I had my own experience with long-term verbal and physical abuse from a father who was never fit to be a parent. And of course, my mother enabled him even though they despised each other openly all throughout their marriage. I never even gave a thought to having my own children. Abused people too often repeat their parents’ behaviors later in life, perpetuating the cycle of misery and suffering.
I’m suddenly reminded of that final scene in Stand By Me when Gordie Lachance turns off his computer to go play with his son. Life imitating art ❤️ You’re a good man, Wil Wheaton.
I didn’t even think of that! I guess it’s been too long since I’ve seen that movie. 🙁
I wish I could send this post back to Early 2000s Wil. Happy for you. Thanks for sharing this.
I just wanted to say hello, it’s been years since I’ve “seen” you. I was Tansi back in the GEnie days,now married to a wonderful Aussie man, and he’s mentioned that name to you, though I told him you’d probably ignore it.. LOL!
Hey again, Wil.
Just wanted to let you know that as of a few days ago, your 1990 Kids’ Choice Awards sliming was found and uploaded on YouTube!
This post brought tears to my eyes. As a high school educator I see the awful effects of parents making the opposite choice, making their kids feel they are never good enough. Thanks for being such a wonderful parent and person!
It sounds to me that you’re doing a great job as their dad. My proverbial hat is off to you!
It is gratifying to see the children being well-adjusted adults. The quarantine is difficult for many, I have been working all year, my wife also. She’s in healthcare and I’m in an essential industry. I hope your family gets more time together and builds on the obvious closeness you share.