Yesterday, I marked the fifth anniversary of my decision to quit drinking alcohol. It was the most consequential choice I have ever made in my life, and I am able to stand before you today only because I made it.
I was slowly and steadily killing myself with booze. I was getting drunk every night, because I couldn’t face the incredible pain and PTSD I had from my childhood, at the hands of my abusive father and manipulative mother.
It was unsustainable, and I knew it was unsustainable, but when you’re an addict, knowing something is unhealthy and choosing to do something about it are two very different things.
On January 8, 2016, I was out in the game room, watching TV and getting drunk as usual. I was trying to numb and soothe the pain I felt, while also deliberately hurting myself because at a fundamental level, I believed the lies the man who was my father told me about myself: I was worthless. I was unworthy of love. I was stupid. The things I loved and cared about were stupid. It did not matter if I lived or died. Nobody cared about me, anyway.
I knocked a bottle into the trash, realized I had to pee, and — so I wouldn’t disturb Anne — did not go into the bathroom, but instead walked out into the middle of my backyard and peed on the grass. I turned around, and there was Anne. I will never forget the look on her face, this mixture of sadness and real fear.
“I am so worried about you,” was all she had to say. I’d been feeling it for a long time, and I faced a stark choice that I had known I was going to face sooner or later.
“So am I.”
Roughly 12 hours later, I woke up with the headache (hangover) I always had. For the first time in years, I accepted that I brought it on myself, instead of blaming it on allergies or the wind.
I picked up my phone, and I called Chris Hardwick, my best friend, who had been sober for over a decade at that point.
“I need help,” I said. “I don’t think going to AA is for me, but I absolutely have a problem with alcohol and I need to stop drinking.”
He told me a lot of things, and we stayed on the call for hours. I realized that that it was as simple and complicated as making a choice not to drink, one day or even one hour at a time. So I made the choice. HOLY SHIT was it hard. The first 45 days were a real struggle, but with the love and support of my wife and best friend, I got through it.
2016 … remember that year? Remember how bad things got? I was constantly making the joke about how I picked the wrong year to quit drinking, while I continued to make the choice to not drink.
Getting clean allowed (and forced) me to confront *why* I drank to excess so much. It turns out that being emotionally abused and neglected by both parents, then gaslit by my mother for my entire life had consequences for my emotional development and mental health.
I take responsibility for my choices. I made the choice to become a drunk. I own that.
But I know that, had the man who was my father loved me the way he loves my siblings, had my mother just once put my needs ahead of her own, the overwhelming pain and the black hole where paternal love should be would not have existed in my life.
I made a choice to fill that black hole with booze and self-destructive behavior. That sort of put a weak bandage over the psychic wound, but it never lasted more than a few hours or days before I was right back to believing all the lies that man planted in my head about myself, and feeling like I deserved all of it. If he wasn’t right, I thought, why didn’t my mother ever stand up for me? If he wasn’t right, how come nothing I ever did was good enough for him? I must be as worthless and contemptible as he made me believe I was. Anyone who says otherwise is just being fooled by me. I don’t really deserve any happiness, because I haven’t earned it. Anne’s just settling. She probably feels sorry for me.
All of that was just so much. It was so hard. It hurt, all the time. Because my mother made my success as an actor the most important thing in her life, I grew up believing that being the most successful actor in the world was the only way she’d be happy. And if that would make her happy, maybe it would prove to the man who was my father that I was worthy of his love. When I didn’t book jobs, I took it SO PERSONALLY. Didn’t those casting people know how important this was? This wasn’t just an acting role. This was the only chance I have to make my parents love me!
The thing is, I didn’t like it. I didn’t love acting and auditioning and attention like my mother did. It was never my dream. It was hers, and she sacrificed my childhood, and ultimately my relationship with her and her husband, in pursuit of it.
I didn’t jump straight to “get drunk all the time” as a coping mechanism. For *years* I tried to have conversations with my parents about how I felt, and every single time, I was dismissed for being ungrateful, overly dramatic, or just making things up. When the man who was my father didn’t blow me off, he got mad at me, mocked me, humiliated me, made me afraid of him. I began to hope that he’d just blow me off, because it wasn’t as bad as the alternative.
It was so painful, and so frustrating, I just gave up and dove into as many bottles as I could find.
But then in 2016 I quit, and as my body began to heal from how much I’d abused it, my spirit began to heal, too. I found a room in my heart, and in that room was a small child, terrified and abused and unloved, and I opened my arms to him. I held him the way he should have been held by our parents, and I loved him the way he deserved to be loved: unconditionally. I promised him that I would protect him from them. They could never hurt him again.
I realized I had walked up to that door countless times over the years, and I had always chosen to walk right past it and into a bar, instead.
But because I had made the choice to stop drinking, to stop hiding from my pain, to stop self-medicating, I could see that door clearly now. I could hear that little boy weeping in there, as quietly as possible, because he was so afraid that someone was going to come in and hurt him.
Sobriety let me see that my mother had been lying to me, and maybe to herself, about who that man was to me. I realized that the man who was my father had been a bully to me my whole life. I accepted and fucking OWNED that it wasn’t my fault. It was a choice he made, and while I will never know why, I knew what had happened to me. I knew my memories were real, and I hoped that, armed with this new certainty and confidence, I could have a heart-to-heart with my parents, and begin to heal these wounds. So I wrote to my parents, shared a lot of my feelings and fears, and finally told them, “I feel like my dad doesn’t love me.”
I know some of you are parents. What do you do when your child says that to you? What is your first instinct? Pick up the phone right away? Send a text right away? Somehow communicate to your child immediately that, no, they are wrong and they are not unloved, right? Well, if you’re my parents, you ignore me and go radio silent (for two months if you’re my mother, four months if you’re my father.) And then when you finally do acknowledge the email, you are incensed and offended. How dare I be so hateful and cruel and ungrateful! Nothing is more important than family! How could I say such hurtful things?! Why would I make all that up?
I had changed. They had not. They will not. Ever.
So, I want to be clear: I take responsibility for the choice I made to become a full-time drunk. But I also hold my parents accountable for the choices they made, including this one.
Their silence during those long weeks told me everything I needed to know, and my sobriety was severely tested for the first time. Everything I had always feared, everything I had been drinking to avoid, was right there, in my face. When they finally acknowledged me, and made it all about their feelings, I knew: this was never going to change. I mean, I’d known that for years, maybe for my whole life, but I still held out hope that, somehow, something would be different.
During those weeks, I spent a lot of time on the phone with Chris, spent a lot of time with Anne, and filled a bunch of journals. But I didn’t make the choice to pick up a drink. I’d committed to taking better care of myself, so I could be the husband and father my family deserved. So I could find the happiness that *I* deserve.
Once I was clean, I had clarity, and so much time to do activities! I was able to clearly and honestly assess who I was, and *why*. I was able to love myself and care for myself in ways that I hadn’t before, because I sincerely believed I didn’t deserve it.
I will never forget this epiphany I had one day, while walking through our kitchen: If I was the person the man who was my father made me believe I was, there is no way a woman as amazing and special as Anne would choose to spend her life with me. Why this never occurred to me up to that point can be found under a pile of bottles.
Not having parents sucks. It hurts all the time. But it hurts less than what I had with those people, so I continue to make the choice to keep them out of my life.
After five years, I don’t miss being drunk at all. It is not a coincidence that the last five years have been the best five years of my life, personally and professionally. In spite of everything 2020 took from us (and I know it’s taken far more from others than it took from me), I had the best year I’ve ever had in my career — and this is *my* career, being a host and a writer and audiobook narrator. This is what *I* want to do, and I still feel giddy when I take time to really own that I am finally following *MY* dream. It’s a shame I don’t have parents to share it with, but I have a pretty epic TNG family who celebrate everything I do with me.
I wondered how I would feel, crossing five years without a drink off the calendar. I thought I’d feel celebratory, but honestly the thing I feel the most is gratitude and resolve.
I am grateful that I have the love and support of my wife and children. I am grateful that I have so much privilege, this wasn’t as hard for me as it could have been. I am grateful that, every day, I can make a choice to not drink, and it’s entirely MY CHOICE.
Because I quit drinking, I had the clarity I needed to see WHY I was drinking, and I had the strength to confront it. It didn’t go the way I wanted or hoped, but instead of numbing that pain with booze, I have come to accept it, as painful as it is.
And even with that pain, my life is immeasurably better than it was, and for that I am immeasurably grateful.
Hi. I’m Wil, and it’s been five years and one day since my last drink. Happy birthday to me.
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Good on you, Will! I wish you continued strength in the many years ahead.
Congratulations sir, to quit drinking is a hard thing to do, take pride in your accomplishment and remember to thank those who helped you through the hard times.
Happy anniversary! It is a powerful feeling to finally cut that cord and love yourself. I am enough. I’m proud of you.
Congratulations friend ♥️
Hi Wil. Today is my actual birthday. It is also 6 days since my last drink. So much of what you wrote here stuck a chord. For years I’ve been pouring alcohol over a wound and it’s taken me so long to even start to try to deal with the pain rather than smother it (temporarily) with booze. The only difference is that my wounds weren’t inflicted in childhood (my parents are wonderful, imperfect, caring people). I have to face finally leaving an unhealthy, sad, and toxic relationship that has dominated the last 20 years of my life. I need to make the break, take my future into my own hands and face the hard work of rebuilding my life. It is going to take some serious strength and clarity and I realize that I cannot achieve that or face any of this unless I am sober. So thank you, Wil, for this reminder that it is worth it – that NOT picking up that first drink is worth it. Tonight when I celebrate my birthday I will quietly and privately raise my glass of ginger ale to you and your sobriety.
A very happy soberversary to you, Wil. I’ve been in al-anon since I sat on a couch with a now ex spouse and said to her that I wasn’t going to leave her because she decided to join a church and re-embrace Christianity. I was going to leave her because of the liter of vodka that was next to her while she wept.
Learning my own role as a co-dependent has been so important to my health. Learning I am allowed to have limits, I’m allowed to say no, that I can’t save someone. They have to save themself. They need to not only stop drinking but face why they started drinking. I needed to break up with my partner of over 20 years because in the end, she could not untangle from that pain. It sucks, and I am sad and angry and disappointed. But I can’t change her or fix her.
Anyway. Your share just now was very powerful and it meant a lot to me. Your capacity for revising what you do and how you do it has been a beautiful thing to watch over the last 20 years here on the internet. All the love and support to you and your family as you continue to figure out what works and what is healthy.
Well done, Wil. I’m sure many people who know and love you are deeply and rightly proud of you.
Congratulations, Wil. You’re doing the hard work on yourself, and manage to be an inspiration at the same time. Really, good for you.
What a raw, honest and beautiful post, Will. This narrative bottoms at gut wrenching and soars to awe inspiring in your resolve to live fully with gentle, loving self-compassion and acceptance. Congratulations on finding your truth, being you, pursuing YOUR dreams, and persisting in your sobriety!
Congratulations Wil; good for you! Keep up the fantastic work with the audio books and writing!
Bravo Wil. We love you!
Bless you, Wil, and congratulations on your milestone. I hope that you continue to find peace, acceptance, happiness, and success in your chosen profession. I think it’s very brave to talk about these things in such an open and honest way. Please never forget that you are SO appreciated by fans and others who are inspired by your bravery.
Love and strength and happiness and contentment to you and your Anne, and to all those you hold dear.
Congratulations on your 5 years of sobriety and stay the path to YOUR quests, Wil, Continue to be your own person and control YOUR destiny!
I’m truly sorry you had to go through so much pain — and I’m glad you’re healing. Happy (belated) birthday.
Letting you know you’re a bit of an inspiration to me. I can relate with certain aspects of your journey. Keep up the good fight. All the best.
I love dogs! all of them. They are pure, they are present, they love. Even if you find some dog that has been abused, the overflow with love, and unfortunatly fear.
I pick up the bottle from time to time, (like a few years every day) and then I stop. Sobrietiy is really really hard work. unlike cocaine, morphine or heroin it’s legal. Every day you can pick up a bottle of vodka or whiskey in the closest shop there is. its closer than the nearest hospital or AA meeting…? It’s a really hard bugger to beat.
5 years, that’s excellent. but as you’ve said the first 2 months are the hardest. I think you said 45 days without any alcohol, that’s the bump.
I am glad for you, although sad that your parents took 40 years from you to combat their insecurities and bad behaviour. For me it’s been 50
Many congratulations Wil.
Congratulations, Wil! That is one great accomplishment! Being comfortable in your own skin is the best state to be in, I gained another level of it when I stopped chasing IT jobs and chose to work for a lot less money in a university library.
From the bottom of my heart, congratulations.
Congratulations, Wil. I have always thought you were great, and you just keep getting greater!!! I hope I get to see you on the Cruise next year!
Laurie
I am so happy you have found understanding, strength and peace in your life. That is an amazing accomplishment!
Congratulations on five years.
Wil,
These personal stories always evoke a flood of emotions and memories for me…and afterwards I understand my life better.
My past is less than a micro-Wil in severity, but there are parallels. [Including anxiety and “I’m a failure.”]
I grew up thinking I had one loving parent and one non-parent. I discovered that I had one non-parent and one loving parent.
[Thank you L. who lead me to that revelation with one sentence..and later nudged me to start rectifying the relationship (at the end of a visit…psst…”hug him”) ]
I later found my “Anne” – our meeting and relationship is very similar to yours.
B
Thank you so much for this, Wil. This struck a chord with me regarding both alcohol (I’m 8 days sober) and parent-son relationships. My son is 17 and struggling with his dad. Your story, which is beautifully written, gave me an idea to suggest my son write a letter to his dad. I commend you for your honesty with and care for yourself. 🙂
Wow. Some heart-wrenching yet uplifting story. I am so happy for you and Anne. Blessings.
I’d say something like, “Honey, you’re so talented and wonderful,” but I know how I feel when I hear that. In my head, The Ugly Voice tells me that Mother Nature just made a mistake giving that talent and intelligence to someone who can never make anything of them. Your Ugly Voice probably does the same thing.
I know too well what it means at 54 to still think that if I were truly a worthwhile being, someone somewhere would have defended me. Teachers in school against armies of nonstop bullies, my parents against my brothers. But it seems that someone’s gotta be the shit, the collateral damage, and for some reason, the whole world agreed that I drew the short straw.
I don’t have an Anne. I cannot fathom that the things about me that make me me are anything that anyone would value. They tell you to let your soul shine, but I know for a fact that nobody wants to see my soul. My parents deep down wished I was normal, adults around me when I was little wished I was normal, and any guy I spent time with considered the things that made me me just inconvenient annoyances to kick aside on the way to my p*ssy.
I’m taking care of my elderly mom at the moment as well as working, but when she’s gone we’ll see what happens. Existence doesn’t seem to have much of a point. It doesn’t make sense that it’s just nothingness, then a few decades of ugly, pointless, isolated flickering, then nothing again.
Of course, every ugly thing you think about yourself is untrue. Just know this. Two things: YouTube video, “The Egg”. Second thing, have you thought of working with animals when your mother no longer needs you? They are the last innocents in the world. They don’t judge you; they are only ever mean to humans out of fear, because they have been hurt before; they give unconditional love and one human can make such a difference in the lives of so many suffering creatures. Doing this would fill your heart with love. You don’t need another human for that…and then your interim time between nothing & nothing would be more than isolated flickering. It would be loving and being loved. It works for me.
Wil, I remember those torturous years you spent in self-loathing and trying to find yourself. I remember the years I would read your blog and it was all about what you drank that day and wondering what was up with you.
I know how you feel. A lot of us self medicate to just get through the day. I know I did, just so I could interact with people and try and be ‘normal’. Stopping the self medication is one of the hardest and bravest things someone can do. Bringing our lives into the light is healing. I noticed the change in what you were writing after you sobered up.
I’ve been sober for a while now, and while it’s been difficult facing the demons of my past (both the things done to me and things I have done), I like my life now and going back to that drinking hell doesn’t interest me at all.
Congratulations Wil on your years. And thank you for sharing your struggles and your successes.
We don’t do this alone
I’m so proud of you, Wil. A few lines of this hit me hard and I couldn’t respond right away, but suffice to say I get it, and I’m sorry. Massive digital hugs for now and a big Iron Guard salute if we ever run into each other again.
Congratulations and thank you for this. Godspeed. Be well.
Congrats on sobriety. June 10, 1993 was my day. It was a Thursday. LOL
Congratulations, Wil! I am 6 1/2 years sober and could not agree more with your statement of sobriety allowing you the clarity to see why you drank. I am incredibly grateful for the gifts sobriety has given me, one of which was a change in my thinking about dealing with problems. At first, I was terrified – I finally felt all the emotions I had been pushing away and had never dealt with before. I didn’t know how to sort out my feelings or cope and it constantly felt like the world was ending in my head but I just kept working through therapy, personal honesty, and learning how to live. One day, about a year into sobriety I realized I wasn’t scared anymore, I was grateful. My thinking had shifted from feeling as though I HAD to deal with my emotions to feeling that I GOT to deal with my emotions. I had opened my personal Pandora’s box and although there were tons of evils I had to deal with in my life I was left with hope.
It is extremely important for people to share their experiences to break the stigmas surrounding mental health and trauma. You are worth the energy placed into yourself to feel joy and you spread that joy as you empower others to better themselves. All the best to you and your family, Wil.
So stinking’ happy for you! Much love and a virtual fist bump from a total stranger!
Happy birthday Wil.
This is really great! Congratulations! The thorn in your mind will probably remind you a long time about this phase. As an artist you might turn this into something beautiful. There is so much work to be done to fight the opioids addiction spread in the US caused by those greedy Sackler f*cks.
A side note: I personally, egoisticly, want you to succeed, to be fit, clear and productive. Because I need you to continue narrating the Scalzi books and other authors as well. The way you work out the characters, give them personality, is unparalleled. Narrating is one of the oldest art forms, and you are a master. You make me love those characters, sometimes even the bad ones. I deeply appreciate your work! And, I know this sounds silly, but I really loved to meet Lady Kiva, one day, in real life, I know she is a piece of work, but so awesome.
And yes, you are helping me and my family to play better board games. My kids are killing me on Clans of Caledonia. Oh shit, there is so much better stuff out there than booze, good call, you are doing it right!
The universe is slightly better off with you in it.
Signed,
a total stranger who wants absolutely nothing from you
ps don’t let it go to your head.
Happy Birthday Wil. I am happy to hear that turning towards and confronting your pain has brought you to a better place in your life. Thank you for all that you do.
Thank you for sharing this. For years, I have been struggling with drinking to excess myself, trying to numb the pain and making it worse at the same time instead of facing it. I have no idea how different would my life have been have I not picked up the bottle in my early twenties. Maybe I would have stayed in college, maybe I would have been more successful in my job, maybe I would have find someone to share my life with. I’ll never know. What I do know is that I am now in my late thirties and I have been trying to stay sober for the past year (there was a couple of nights when I wasn’t so successful…but the keyword here is couple). I know that the minute I pick up the bottle, I won’t stop drinking until I pass out and wake up sick to the bones the next day. Therefore every day I make the choice not to pick up the bottle. I try to focus on the good things in my life instead of the pain inside me – my wonderful dog, my friends, the things I enjoy such as board games, sci-fi shows and books and writing. It is not always easy. But thank you for sharing this and making me feel less alone.
Hi Wil. I’ve been away from your blog for a while. I’m glad you’ve made it this far, and I’m sure you’ll be able to keep it going. I finally got around to watching Picard, and some of the bonus content, and some of your comments about your TNG family struck me. I’m sorry you have had to go through that, but thank you for sharing it. I’m sure it will help others deal with their own situations, and it has given me something to consider as I raise my own kids.
Keep doing what you’re doing. You make a difference. Thank you.
Wil: congratulations! Not many people make it 5 years on their first attempt (of course this is your first and only!). Especially while they’re dealing with painful childhood issues. I have experience with what you’re going through.
Side Note: are you into Belters, Inners, OPA? My husband and I love it! Although we think actors today are so lazy 🤣. They only film around 10 episodes a season even without covid. Really? Didn’t TNG film like more than 20 episodes a season = NOT lazy!
Very well done, Wil, congratulations. I see a lot of you in me and me in you, so I am happy to have come across this post.
This, like so many of your other posts, is amazing and really resonated with me. Not because I drink (too much or otherwise), or because I don’t focus (enough) on my own personal wellness, but just because it makes me think. Period. All that said, can I ask how you knew you had to go 100% clean? I enjoy a drink now and then. I probably enjoy it for the wrong reasons, much of the time, but I do enjoy it. I don’t get drunk (anymore), but I’m not sure if that’s a result of my body building up a tolerance, or because I’m drinking “responsibly”? Anyway, I’ve toyed with the idea of going sober, but ultimately I don’t think that’s where my issues lie. That said, how do I know? I’m not depressed or self-destructive, but I do suffer from some grief (passing of a parent) and imposter syndrome (trying to write a book/graphic novel)…
Ultimately, I’m just saying thanks for writing this, and for all you do. Your posts and your social channels almost always make me smile and reflect positively on what’s possible.
i recognized so much of my own story in yours, 17 years for me, i enjoy your audiobooks, feels like i am being read to by an old friend as your voice is recognizable from tv. stay strong and know peace. so cool that hardwick is your bestie and psuedo sponser!!
I’m glad to hear it. Keep the Faith! Note that even if you break the “strike” and drink by accident or by choice, it is still ok.
RIP Seamus…
I’m sober from alcohol too! I’m going on 9 yrs this coming May 3rd. I’m also clean and sober 14 yrs from a crystal addiction. Also, I’m going on 5 years clean from an 8 yr opioid addiction. I was a mess and I’m just an addict forever… Plain and simple. All I can do is try. I drank my first 40 oz beer in 2nd grade. Smoked my first joint in 3rd grade. Did my first line of crystal that same year also. I started VERY young so when everyone else was starting to “experiment” I was tired, worn out and done with my addiction and my life. I hated my life and myself. I’m great now. A totally different, nice man who loves to help people. Well, anyway Wil, I know you’re really busy and you probably won’t read this, and that’s ok because I still want to tell you how VERY proud of you I am. You’re just an amazing, kind, gentle person and it shows in your writing. Keep strong because your family and you deserve to be happy! Have a blessed day!
Andrew
Wil,
I am so proud of you. My mom heart aches for that little boy within. I am glad you’ve found so much strength within yourself. And I hope it can be healing for you, what a wonderful parent you yourself have been, despite the lack of positive role models. You broke the cycle. I was thinking about you, in fact, on the day of the inauguration, when I was reflecting on Vice President Harris’s lovely blended family.
What you describe with your parents sounds a lot like what goes on around racism–that is to say, some folks seem to think it’s worse to be called a racist than to do/say racist things. But that is objectively absurd. Racists are the ones causing harm, not the people pointing it out, just as your parents were the ones who caused you harm–not you for bringing it to their attention. Believe me, as the daughter of a narcissist, though, I know how complicated all of this is.
Many hugs, and may this era for all of us be one of clarity and reckonings and the cutting out of what is poisonous and harmful so what is good can grow.
Hi wil your story of your abusive parents touched me deeply and I’m so sorry for the pain that you have been through. I hope you find peace happiness and hope through your new sobriety
I don’t know you, Wil, but I’m really proud of you.
My husband has been through similar, including with drinking and now sobriety. Even to this day, he gets into a space sometimes where he questions what I see in him and wonders how long until I take off. I love him and he’s my best friend because he’s wonderful in so many ways – but sometimes he just can’t see those qualities in himself. I get that, sometimes I struggle to see my own good qualities and my self loathing can rear its head.
And thank you for sharing these raw thoughts and feelings. I hope that your vulnerability and honesty can help someone else who reads this. I see so very many people out there who seem to be covering their pain with alcohol or drugs, and while it works in the short term, it doesn’t resolve the underlying stuff, and it’s slowly ruining their bodies and usually their relationships and careers.
I’m so glad you have your wife for support through your struggles. I hope that anyone else who’s struggling can find support too. It doesn’t have to be a romantic partner: it could be a friend, coworker, pastor, or even a counselor. There is definitely no shame in seeing a counselor, not one tiny bit. And hey, if not, maybe some books. I’m a books person, they have actually helped me more than the counselor did (I probably haven’t found the right counselor yet).
I really loved the book “Running on Empty.” If you don’t know what to do with your feelings (or don’t even FEEL feelings, like I wasn’t), I recommend that book.
Wil, you have always been good enough. Your parents were just too self absorbed to see it and it is so hard for a child to articulate & oppose the people who are supposed to be loving them. You had no power as a child; none of us do. We are at their mercy. They sound like selfish, terrible parents. I always wonder why some people take their self image from assholes instead of those who praise us. I had parents like yours, yet I grew up believing them to be entirely wrong about me and that I knew myself. I broke away at a young age. My husband, on the other hand was persecuted throughout his entire childhood; made to think he was ugly, weird, an outsider, a “foreigner”, and he can never get over it. He can have 1,000 compliments or episodes of praise in a day but say on thing he did wrong and THAT is the thing he holds onto forever more. He doesn’t believe the compliments because he learned at an early age that they couldn’t possibly be true. He believes any criticism, however, because that is what he is used to. That is his default & it feels safe to him. How can a person break out of this? He is those most talented person I know and he does nothing with any of his abilities because he doesn’t think he’s “good enough”.
Thank you for your honesty. It is your best feature (IMHO).
Congratulations, Wil, I’m proud of you!
What a Light your spirit is, Mr. Wheaton! Thank you .