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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Author: Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

shameless self promotion

Posted on 14 April, 2011 By Wil

It is said that an artist's works sell as well as the artist promotes them.

I struggle with this reality, because while it's simple and enjoyable for me to link to my wife's friend's store, or my friend's wife's Etsy shop, it feels weird and kind of gross to me when I promote my own stuff.

But I have a kid in college, and people frequently ask me where they can get my books and things, so it seems like a good idea to have a post I can point to (or reprint) from time to time that answers that question and pays his tuition.

So here you go, infrequent interrogator! Thanks in advance for your support.

Books

Here's my virtual bookshelf.

Here's my author page at Amazon.

Here's my storefront at Lulu.

  • Memories of the Future Volume One (Free Bonus! Memories of the Futurecast!)
  • The Happiest Days of our Lives
  • Sunken Treasure
  • Just a Geek (eBook from Google store) (From Amazon) (From Powell's)
  • Dancing Barefoot (Amazon) (Powell's)
  • Clash of the Geeks

Kindle and eBooks

  • The Day After and Other Stories (Kindle Store)
  • Hunter (Kindle Store)
  • Sunken Treasure (Kindle Store)

Audiobooks

  • Just A Geek: Teh Audiobook
  • The Happiest Days of our Lives Free Bonus! Radio Free Burrito!
  • METAtropolis: Cascadia
  • The Android's Dream
  • Agent to the Stars
  • Peter and Max: A FABLES Novel
  • Boneshaker

Clothing

Most of these Jinx designs will be discontinued very soon, if you care about that sort of thing:

  • The WWdN:iX Family Crest
  • Marshmallow Meeps
  • My Sword Glows Blue in the Presence of Rules Lawyers
  • Never Forget Your Roots

Other Neat Stuff

  • Awesome calendars, mugs and other things from my brother, Jeremy Wheaton, who is an amazing photographer.
  • The Memories of the Futuremug!
  • The Guild Season 3
  • The Guild Season 4

I think that's everything. Wow. It's kind of cool that I've had a hand in making so many things! I love that.

raptors

Posted on 13 April, 2011 By Wil

Fuckin_raptors

This is in the Electric office here in Los Angeles. I took this picture when I joined John Rogers and Beth Riesgraf there last year for our live chat after The Ho Ho Ho Job aired.

it’s like winning the actor lottery

Posted on 8 April, 2011 By Wil

When we're on location for Eureka, Felicia Day is like my best friend and my younger sister, all at once. We give each other shit all day long, we hang out when we're not working, and we lean on each other when we have those days all artists have that make us question why we thought we could do this silly thing in the first place.

All of our scenes yesterday were together, with Neil Grayston (who plays Fargo). I adore everyone in the cast, but Neil, Felicia and I spent so much time together last season, we've formed a special bond (helped along by repeated viewings of clips from The Room between setups, Leeeeesssaaaahhhhgghhh.)

I can't discuss the specifics, but I had some major technobabble in one scene, and though I nailed it in the master and all of Neil and Felicia's coverage, when it was time for my coverage, my brain took a walk. It was really embarrassing, because it made me feel like I wasn't prepared, even though I knew the scene, and had worked on it precisely to prevent the sort of brainfreeze I found myself experiencing. Everyone was kind and patient (it happens to all of us from time to time) and we got through it, but I still felt like I jerk when the scene was finally done. Jamie Paglia (writer and executive producer) and Matt Hastings (director) both told me that we got the scene, and I knew that there were takes where I nailed it, but I still felt like a rookie when it was all over.

We broke for lunch, and the three of us ate together in Neil's trailer. We watched a bunch of YouTube videos that ranged from hilarious to so-bad-they're-good to so-bad-they're-bad-really-bad-no-seriously-turn-it-off. It may not seem like something worth mentioning, but I've worked as an actor for — holy shit — 30 years, and this kind of friendship, camaraderie, and genuine enjoyment of each other's company isn't as common as you'd hope for or expect.

After work, Felicia and I went to the comic shop, and while we were grabbing our pulls for the week,we stopped in front of the Dr. Horrible book.

"I can't stand here and have you looking at us from the cover of this book," I said. "That's weird."

"It is a little weird, isn't it?" She said.

Before we could move, a couple of guys walked over to us. "Can we take a picture with you?" They asked. I looked at Felcia, because I didn't want to say yes for both of us.

"Is that cool?" I said.

"Of course," she said, like I'd just asked the dumbest question in the world.

"Okay, it's fine with me," I said.

We posed for a picture, and when we were done, one of the guys said, "Are you guys here for The Guild?"

I love when people see me and tell me they watch The Guild. I'm so proud of it, and I love playing Fawkes so much, it's the coolest thing in the world to meet people who enjoy watching it.

I turned to Felicia. "Can you imagine having a budget to shoot on a location like Vancouver?"

"Yeah that's not going to happen," she said with a laugh.

"We're here for Eureka," I said.

"Oh! That's so cool!" The guy said.

We talked for a minute, and then we all went back to our shopping.

When Felicia and I were finished, we grabbed some dinner, and went back to our respective apartments.

While I was walking down the hallway toward my door, I thought to myself, "I would be incredibly lucky just to work on a series and have some financial security. I would be incredibly lucky to work on a series where I get to play a character I enjoy playing. I would be incredibly lucky to work on a series where I really like the other actors … the fact that I get to do all of these things on Eureka is like winning the actor lottery."

two hundred words before six in the morning

Posted on 7 April, 2011 By Wil

When the alarm went off at 5am, I wasn't sure where I was. I mean, I knew I was in bed, but I was on the wrong side of the bed, and why was I awake when it's still dark outside?

After a few seconds, my brain finished booting up and I remembered that I am in Vancouver, I sleep on the wrong side of the bed so I don't feel Anne's absence more than I already do, and today I start work on season five of Eureka. I'm up when it's dark because I have one of those painfully-early call times that are, quite honestly, not such a bad problem to have.

I stumbled into the kitchen and turned on the coffee maker. I put a couple of frozen waffles into the toaster, and leaned against the counter while they did their thing. I felt a little dizzy.

The coffee finished brewing, and I filled my mug. As I took my first sip, the waffles popped up, and I put them onto a plate.

I walked into my dining room, and smiled to myself. It was early enough to hurt, and I was having a bachelor breakfast, but I was glad for it.

I'm back in Vancouver for Eureka, and in one of my scenes today, I have technobabble.

I don’t feel safe. I feel violated, humiliated, and angry.

Posted on 6 April, 2011 By Wil

Yesterday, I was touched — in my opinion, inappropriately — by a TSA agent at LAX.

I'm not going to talk about it in detail until I can speak with an attorney, but I've spent much of the last 24 hours replaying it over and over in my mind, and though some of the initial outrage has faded, I still feel sick and angry when I think about it.

What I want to say today is this: I believe that the choice we are currently given by the American government when we need to fly is morally wrong, unconstitutional, and does nothing to enhance passenger safety.

I further believe that when I choose to fly, I should not be forced to choose between submitting myself to a virtually-nude scan (and exposing myself to uncertain health risks due to radiation exposure)1, or enduring an aggressive, invasive patdown where a stranger puts his hands in my pants, and makes any contact at all with my genitals.

When I left the security screening yesterday, I didn't feel safe. I felt violated, humiliated, assaulted, and angry. I felt like I never wanted to fly again. I was so furious and upset, my hands shook for quite some time after the ordeal was over. I felt sick to my stomach for hours.

This is wrong. Nobody should have to feel this way, just so we can get on an airplane. We have fundamental human and constitutional rights in America, and among those rights is a reasonable expectation of personal privacy, and freedom from unreasonable searches. I can not believe that the TSA and its supporters believe that what they are doing is reasonable and appropriate. Nobody should have to choose between a virtually-nude body scan or an aggressive, invasive patdown where a stranger puts his or her hands inside your pants and makes any contact at all with your genitals or breasts as a condition of flying.

I do not have the luxury of simply refusing to fly unless and until this policy changes. I have to travel dozens of times a year for work, and it simply isn't practical to travel any other way. Airlines know that I am not unique in this regard, so they have no incentive to take a stand on their customers' behalf. Our government also knows this, so our Congressmen and Congresswomen have no incentive to stand up for the rights and freedoms of their constituencies against powerful and politically-connected lobbyists like the former head of the TSA. This is also wrong.

I have to travel back into the USA next week, and I'll be back and forth between Los Angeles and Vancouver for much of the next several months. When I think about all this travel, I feel helpless, disempowered, and victimized by the airlines and the TSA … and I'm one of the lucky passengers who has never been sexually assaulted. I can't imagine what it must feel like for someone who has been the victim of sexual violence to know that they are faced with the same two equally-unacceptable choices that I faced yesterday, and will likely face whenever I fly in the future.

It's fundamentally wrong that any government can force its citizens to submit to totally unreasonable searches so we have the "freedom" to travel. It is fundamentally wrong that the voices of these same citizens are routinely ignored, our feelings marginalized, and our concerns mocked.

I don't know what we can do to change this, but we must do something. I'm writing letters to all of my congressional representatives, contacting an attorney, and reaching out to the ACLU when I get home. I am not optimistic that anything will change, because I feel like the system is institutionally biased against individuals like me … but maybe if tens of thousands of travelers express our outrage at this treatment, someone will be forced to listen.

Edit to add one more thing: I don't believe that all TSA officersare automatically bad people (though we've seen that at least some are.) For example, I recently flew out of Seattle, opted-out, and got a non-invasive, professional, polite patdown. It was still annoying, but at least my genitals weren't touched in any way, which was decidedly not the case yesterday. I realize that most TSA officers are doing the best they can in a job that requires them to interact with people who automatically dislike them and what they represent. It isn't the individual officer who is the problem; it's the policies he or she is instructed to carry out that need to change.

1. The TSA recently admitted that the amount of radiation passengers are exposed to in backscatter scanners was 10 times more than they originally claimed. The TSA claims that the scanners are still safe, but what else would we expect them to claim?

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