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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Author: Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

BEHOLD Clash of the Geeks – The Wheaton / Scalzi Fan Fiction Chapbook

Posted on 20 September, 2010 By Wil

A long time ago, on an Internet far, far away, John Scalzi's brain unleashed the most epic and awesome and WTF image ever known in the history of all the tribes: The Unicorn Pegasus Kitten.

But a Unicorn Pegasus Kitten alone wasn't enough, and so I was placed astride it, wearing the Infamous Clown Sweater. And I, riding a Unicorn Pegasus Kitten while wearing a Clown Sweater (and short shorts), though certainly enough for some mortals, wasn't enough for us, so a Scalzorc was added. And while it would be acceptable in some worlds for a Unicorn Pegasus Kitten to be ridden by a Wheaton in an Incamous Clown Sweater while a Scalzorc looked looked askance, still more was required: a story to bring them all together, and in teh darknez, LOL them.

And, thus was born the Wheaton and Scalzi Fan Fiction contest.

Today, my dear Internets, the circle is complete. The stories have been written, the winners chosen, and the results compiled into a digital tome known for now and ever as:

CLASH OF THE GEEKS

(Please imagine thunder, lightning, and some dramatic music at this time, perhaps if Iron Maiden were to have scored an overture, for example.)

BEHOLD THE COVER IN ALL ITS TERRIBLE GLORY!

COWER, MORTALS, FOR IT LIVES!

(Now would be a good time to imagine more thunder, and maybe some howling of a far-off beast that yore glad isn't close enough to be seen.)

 

Clash of the Geeks

 

Now, here is why this is awesome: you can, right now, go get the entire digital chapbook, in multiple formats, for free.

BUT WAIT DON'T GO JUST YET!

We're asking that, if you do collect a copy for your very own, you make a donation to the Lupus Alliance of America, a non-profit and very important organization that is dear to many of us involved in this project, and our families.

Here's what John says, in his grown-up voice:

You’ll notice that we’re offering Clash of the Geeks as a free download. You don’t have to pay for it, or make a donation to fight against lupus. And if you don’t, that’s fine. But if you can – if you’ve got the suggested minimum payment of $5 to spare — we would really like it if you did. All of the money that comes to us for this is going back out the door again, into the coffers of the Michigan/Indiana affiliate of the Lupus Alliance of America. We paid our writers and our artist, but we did that out of our own pockets. Wil, Subterranean Press and I aren’t seeing a cent from this. That’s not what this is about.

We did this thing because we thought it would be fun and because we thought you would have fun reading these stories. But we also did it because people we know and love and care about are afflicted with lupus. Lupus, if you don’t know, is not an easy disease to live with: it attacks your immune system and does all sorts of damage, and those who live with it genuinely do struggle. We’re doing this for fun, but we’re also doing this to help those people living with lupus, some of whom are family. It’s a personal thing.

Which is why, again: If you can pay, we hope you will pay. Our $5 suggested payment is not a lot for you, especially when you consider the sheer amount of awesome this chapbook contains. But if each of you chip in (and tell your friends about it, and they chip in, too), those $5 payments will add up pretty quickly. And then we’ll be doing some real good, as well having fun. We’ve made it to easy to pay through PayPal, but for those of you who would enjoy a tax deduction, we’ve also set up a way for you to get one of those as well.

Okay, now you may go and get yourself a copy of CLASH OF THE GEEKS … and please, please, please, tell your friends, tell your Reddits, tell your Farks, and tell your Twitters. We're all immensely proud of this project.

“Look at your God. Now look at me.”

Posted on 19 September, 2010 By Wil

(via Rogers)

Wesley Crusher’s Sweet-Ass Motherfucking Bouffant

Posted on 14 September, 2010 By Wil

When I was a teenager pretending to fly a spaceship, I got to do a lot of really cool things with a lot of really cool people. The price of admission to this wonderful world, though, was the most annoying hairdo I've ever experienced in my life. I called it Wesley's Helmet Hair, because it did not move at all once the hair department shellacked it, and I really, really hated it.

There was some decree that hair was perfect in the future, so before every take, one of the hairdressers would come over and drop a small cloud of hairspray around my head. By the end of the day, it was like there was this foreign thing sitting on top of my skull that I couldn't wait to get home and wash off (I clearly remember showering after work, and feeling a slick of
hairspray and other products run down my back, like I was living out some horrible fanfic. Ugh, I'm getting chills
just thinking about it) and when they finally retired this particular hairdo, I may have cried tears of relief.

Well, yesterday, I learned that a friend of @MartySever's loved Wesley's helmet hair as much as I hated it.

BEHOLD!

Hosted by imgur.com

even more twitter funtimes, the super mario bros birthday edition

Posted on 14 September, 2010 By Wil

I don't think this really needs additional context or commentary. All you need to know is that Super Mario Bros. turned 25 yesterday.

etherlad: Happy 25th anniversary, Mario. We're sorry, but your cake is in another castle.
wilw: Happy 25th birthday, Super Mario Bros! Your cake is in another castle.
etherlad: @wilw DAMNIT WIL I JUST SAID THAT
wilw: @etherlad I'm fairly confident that you and I are not the only exceptionally clever people who will come up with this joke today.
etherlad: @wilw Touché. Can we at least tip our hats and clink our glasses in honor of our exceptional cleverness?
wilw: @etherlad Indeed we can. Just let me adjust my monocle first, old chap.
etherlad: @wilw Jolly good, old bean.
wilw: @etherlad *clink*
etherlad: @wilw *clink* *mustache twirl*

This is all, of course, set up for this.

(thank you, Ian, for making me laugh)

garage discoveries

Posted on 12 September, 2010 By Wil

I spent a little time in the garage today, and was rewarded with a bunch of nifty discoveries, so I thought I'd share pictures of a few of them. All of these images can be clicked to embiggen them at Flickr, where you can learn more about them:

Watchmen # 9

The Amazing Adventures of Pac-Man!

Yeah, I have a Scott Grimes CD

Dancing Barefoot - original corrected manuscript

Christmas with the Brady Bunch - on tape

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