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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Author: Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

Saturday at the 2010 Phoenix Comicon – the Guild, the TNG reunion, a journey’s end, and geek prom

Posted on 1 June, 2010 By Wil

Since I didn't write about it while I was there, I'm recapping some highlights of the 2010 Phoenix Comicon in a few different posts. This is about Saturday.

Saturday:

During the first round of the NHL playoffs, I made (and lost) another hockey bet with my friend Aaron Douglas. Because the Canucks defeated the Kings, I had to wear a Vancouver jersey. Next year, you frakkin' toaster … next year.

I had two panels on Saturday. First, Felicia and I did a panel about The Guild that was a whole lot of fun. During the Q&A, just about every question was for Felicia, which I expected since it's her show and everything, but it was still fun to play the part of Mister I'll Just Sit Here And Pretend I'm Invisible.

The second panel was the TNG reunion panel with Frakes and LeVar, which filled the room almost to capacity. We started out with moderated questions, which I felt veered way too close to "hey, let's dish a bunch of gossip" territory. I thought we were all pretty funny, though, and I did my best to keep things moving without bogarting the entire panel. It was pretty awesome when Jonathan said "it's not often that I'm the third-funniest guy on the panel!" after I'd made him laugh about something. 

I think the audience had a good time, and I did my best to balance entertaining them with speaking frankly and honestly about the few very serious questions we were asked. When the hour was up, I wished that we'd been scheduled for 90 minutes, because there were at least a dozen people waiting, and I was enjoying the whole thing.

On the way back to the vendor's hall (which, to give you a sense of how the con has grown, could have held the entire convention last year) I was able to thank LeVar for giving me an incredible gift that he never even knew about.

We stood on this loading dock behind the convention center, protected from the direct heat of the sun by growing afternoon shadows. "I have to tell you something," I said to LeVar.

He looked at me with what I hoped wasn't apprehension.

"Years ago, you asked me if I was going to be in Nemesis, and I told you that I hadn't been asked. You told me that you'd talk to Rick, because I was part of the family and I should be in the movie."

"You are family, Wil," he said.

"Well, you ended up doing something really important for me that was much more than just being in a movie," I said. "When we all worked together on the series, I couldn't appreciate it, because I was a stupid teenager. It wasn't until years later that I realized how lucky I was, and how much I missed all of you guys. It made me so sad that I took that for granted.

"When I worked on Nemesis, I was able to fully appreciate it, and I really needed that, so I could get over the incredible regret that I fuh-" A lump started to grow in my throat, and I took a breath that hoped would let me talk around it. "The incredible regret that I felt because I didn't know how much you all meant to me until I was gone."

I felt a tear spill down my cheek. I didn't care. "So I just wanted to say thank you, for that. I wouldn't have ever been able to move past that and have the life I have today if you hadn't made a phone call that you didn't need to make. Thank you for caring about me, LeVar."

I glanced at Jonathan, and I think I saw his eyes shining just a little bit. Before I realized it, LeVar was hugging me tightly. I forget what he said, because I was trying so hard not to cry. I'm pretty sure that it was the final, unwritten (until now) coda to the Journey I took in Just A Geek.

Saturday night, Felicia and I hosted the Geek Prom, which was mostly awesome. I say mostly because I was incredibly annoyed with the people who shoved video cameras – with lights – in our faces while we were just trying to enjoy ourselves and dance to horrible 80s and 90s prom music (oh, the final Femmes to Gaga ratio was 2:1). I mean, time and place, guys. Not cool.

Fun fact: I hate dancing. It makes me feel self conscious, stupid, uncoordinated, and like a complete idiot. Because I don't particularly enjoy feeling that way, I probably dance once a year, to only one song, and only to make Anne happy when she wants to dance with her husband at whatever thing we've gone to where they have organized dancing. I don't know exactly why — maybe it was because it was dark until the cameras showed up, maybe it was because I knew I was surrounded by my fellow geeks and none of us were under the delusion that we were, in any way, cool. Maybe it was the Stone IPA I had with dinner, maybe it was a combination of all those things but …. I really had fun dancing at the Geek Prom. I felt so guilty when I woke up the next day, I had to call Anne and confess.

"So does that mean we're going to go dancing?" She said.

"Sorry, KSSHHH, BUZZTT, KSSSH," I said, "I'm driving into a tunnel and the last thing you said was KSSHHH!"

"Nice try. I know you're sitting in your hote-"

"KSSHH WHRRSSHH FSSHHH!" I said, "I think I should call you back when we're out of the mountains."

Even though I couldn't see her, I know that I got The Look.

The con posted a ton of great pictures of all of us under the geek arch, which you can witness in all of their carefully-crafted awkward awesomeness at Flickr. We have ideas to make the Geek Prom even better, even more of an event next year, which I can't wait to put into action.

Up next: Sunday.

Friday at the 2010 Phoenix Comicon – the awesome hour and rock band

Posted on 1 June, 2010 By Wil

Since I didn't write about it while I was there, I'm recapping some highlights of the 2010 Phoenix Comicon in the next couple posts, starting with Friday.

Friday:

I have felt creatively stagnant for months, and unable to write much of anything. I suspect it's because the creative part of my brain has been busy with various acting gigs, so it's not something to complain about, but the end result is that I just don't have any new narrative stories that I feel are worthy of performance.

I didn't want to read something I've done a bunch of times before (I joked that I felt like I was just playing Freebird over and over again) so I looked at some columns I'd written for LA Daily last year, and ended up telling two stories about classic gaming on the Atari 2600. I was nervous about it, because I'd never performed them in public, but I figured that it was worth taking a risk to give the audience something they'd never heard before.

I thought the reading portion of the Awesome Hour went very well. I had a good time telling the stories, and as far as I could tell, the audience enjoyed it as well. I was particularly happy that I only used up half of the hour when I was done, so I had time for more than just one or two questions during the Q&A, which ended up lasting almost an hour, because the audience demanded it. Awesome.

The entire presentation was streamed live, and is available as a podcast from Versus The World Productions.

Friday night, we did our second annual Rockband party, which was a HUGE SUCCESS. Like I said last year, it didn't make a difference if we looked cool or not, because just having fun was all that mattered to us. 

I want everyone to take a moment and applaud the fearless people who got up on stage and played with me. This era of ubiquitous internet videos and the inevitable internet dickwads they attract makes me think twice about doing anything that could look silly, and I'm a professional performer. All of the people who played with me were very brave, and as far as I can tell, we all had a great time.

Here are three highlights:

That was as fun as it looked, and I think it was my best performance of the night. I especially love that the guitarist threw caution to the wind, embraced the cheese, and elevated Livin' On A Prayer from "didn't suck" to "was awesome."

As I pointed out to the audience, this was the first time I had ever heard Poker Face in its entirety, so I didn't really have the freedom to … perform … this the way I did Livin' On A Prayer, so I was really grateful that John and Felicia grabbed the Cheat's glowsticks and threw a lightswitch rave on stage to back me up. 

I'm a little disturbed by how much fun it was to sing this song, once I figured out the pattern.

Finally:

I thought I liked Journey a quite lot … until I found out how much John likes Journey, and realized that my scale was in desperate need of recalibration. Note that we did this song at 2am, after we'd been playing Rock Band for 4 hours, after we'd been at a con for 10 hours.

Up next: Saturday.

unicorn pegasus kitten. scalzorc. clown sweater. fanfic. AWESOME.

Posted on 31 May, 2010 By Wil

Unicorn Pegasus Kitten. That's really all that you need to know. Well, also Clown Sweater and Scalzorc, I guess.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "I will never again in my life see something this epic, so I may as well pluck my eyes out with a spork right now."

It's an understandable reaction, for I had it myself … but before you get all sporky on your face, you may want to head over to John Scalzi's Whatever and find out exactly what this is all about.

in which a list is completed

Posted on 27 May, 2010 By Wil

Belle and Sebastian played in my office, while I got ready for this weekend's convention.

I zipped up my backpack, stood up, and stretched. I made that ughh noise that, as a child, I always associated with old people.

I walked a couple steps across the room and sat down at my desk to look at the big list of things I needed to complete before heading out to Phoenix for the comicon. I uncapped my pen, and put a line through "pack the nerd bag."

"Hey," I thought, "the only thing left on the list is 'make the setlist for the awesome hour!'"

I jumped up and ran into the back of the house, where Anne was dumping a basket of laundry onto our bed. "Dude! I finished almost everything on my list!"

"Are you going to relax, now?"

"As soon as I figure out what my setlist is going to be," I said. I pulled a still-warm T-shirt out of the pile and began to fold it. "Oh, I'm totally taking this to Phoenix with me."

Before she could speak, I added, "Nnnnnnnerrrrrrd … shhhiiirrrttt!"

She looked at me and barely suppressed a smile.

"Sorry, I'm a little relieved that I'm basically done with my list, and super excited to go spend a few days among my tribe."

The smile appeared. "I know."

I reached into the pile of clothes and pulled out a pair of jeans. "Remember how much you loved putting on jeans right out of the dryer when you were a kid?"

"And you'd jump into them and try not to let the rivets burn you," she said.

I tentatively touched a rivet near one of the front pockets. It was warm, but not hot.

"When the kids were little," Anne said, "I'd put their jeans into the dryer before school on really cold days."

"Ha! I totally remember that," I said. I folded up the jeans and began sorting socks.

We folded in happy silence for a few minutes.

"I really don't know that I'm going to do for my Awesome Hour," I said. "I think I want to read two short stories, and then spend the second half of the hour doing Q and A."

I began the process of sorting my socks, which really should be easy, but never is.

"Some day, when I have 'fuck you' money, I'm totally buying all new socks, and they'll all be exactly the same, so I don't have to do this ever again."

"It's good to have goals," she said.

A light went off in my brain. "I know what I'm going to read."

"Oh? Is it a story about your socks?"

"Nope." I told her what my plan was.

"Yeah, that's entertaining."

We finished folding our clothes, and put everything away.

"I'm going to go play Red Dead Redemption, now," I said. "I think I've earned it, and I need to decompress a little bit, after such a busy day."

"Just don't shoot your horse this time," she said, dryly.

"Hey! That was an accident!"

Earlier in the day, I'd related to her how, the night before, I'd been out hunting coyotes (you know, like you do) and while aiming down from my horse, I accidentally shot it in the neck and killed it. I was so traumatized, I broke my personal rule about never reloading from a saved game file if things don't work out the way I want them to.

"If you say so," she said. "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't."

I kissed her goodnight, and a few minutes later found myself roaming the old west.

"Hey, Wil," my brain said.

"What, brain?"

"You're a cowboy…"

"Don't you fucking dare, brain."

"On a steel horse you ride…"

"I swear to god, I'm going to kill you with so much beer…"

"You're wanted…"

In spite of myself, I sang, "WAAAANNNTTTEEEEDDDD…"

My brain joined me: "Dead or aliiiivvvveee!"

I tried to pretend that it wasn't awesome, but my brain pointed out that, being my brain, it knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Hey, just look at it this way," my brain said, "I'm preparing you for Rock Band at the convention this weekend."

"I … you … just …" I had trouble speaking.

"Yeah, that's me fucking with you. Just say 'thank you', and you can get back to playing the game.

I sighed. "Thank you, brain."

"You're welcome. Now try not to shoot your horse."

in which another secret is revealed…

Posted on 26 May, 2010 By Wil

Spoiler alert:

Wil Wheaton and Felicia Day as Fawkes and Codex

If this interests you, you really want to listen to .

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