Author: Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Six

Posted on By Wil


Futurecast700px-CHoly crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Two important things:

  1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it is available right now! Woo!
  2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.

Episode Notes:

  • The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
  • The theme song is Mister Fancy Pants, by my friend Jonathan Coulton. It is from his fantastic Thing A Week (my fingers autotyped "Thing A Geek" just now. Heh.) and is used under Creative Commons license.
  • This week I read some of the synopsis from Where No One Has Gone Before, also known as "that one with the Traveller."
  • This week's show weighs in at just over 18MB.
  • This week's show is just over 19 minutes long.
  • Garageband still refuses to let me embed artwork in the MP3. Feel free to grab the image from this post and use it, if you need it to go with all your glasses and your shoes, so you have them.
  • Memories of the Futurecast doesn't have anything clever to add this week, it just hopes you enjoyed listening to it and will consider picking up the book.
  • Yeah, that's right, you can buy Memories of the Future Volume One for just $19.87 RIGHT NOW! YAY!

Download Memories of the Futurecast episode six

Everybody walk the dinosaur. Well, except for you. You’re not working out.

Posted on By Wil

I have no idea what the title of this post has to do with the content of this post. In fact, I think there's no relation at all, other than the fact that I wrote them both. But when your brain compels you to quote Was (not Was), it's best to just do what it says, and slip in a Simpsons reference if you can manage it.

So. Moving on.

RinCon was awesome this weekend. The delves were a huge success, even though both parties managed to finish them, despite my best efforts to kill them all. I am absolutely going to run Child's Play Charity delves at future cons (and may even organize a special event here in Los Angeles at a local game shop, if enough people commit to playing) and those delves will all be of my own original creation, because running these two delves and listening to our D&D Podcast has made me want to write and run a campaign more than at any other time in my life. I know I keep going on and on about how easy it is to pick up and play 4e, but … dude, it is so easy to pick up, play, and run 4e, the only reason I'm not playing every week is because I haven't had the time to do it. (Fun fact: we had players in both delves who were totally new to 4e – one of them hadn't even played since 2nd edition! – and it took all of about 5 minutes to get them into the swing of things. I know 4e has its detractors, but I just love it that this system is so easy for new players to pick up, whether they're PCs or DMs.)

I had an incredible time playing a lot of new games, as well as many of my old favorites. I especially enjoyed an indie game called Castle Panic
, and an unreleased game from SJ Games that I wish I could tell you all about. I also picked up a storytelling game called A Penny For My Thoughts
that I think was the sleeper hit of the convention. The Rock Band party was also a lot of fun, and some of you may be interested to know that James Ernest is an absolute beast on the drums.

A full con report, including some various thoughts I had about gaming at cons and why they are such an important part of our community is forthcoming, probably as this month's Geek in Review column.

Now, on to business:

My episode of The Big Bang Theory airs next Monday, October 19, on CBS. Yes, I'm excited enough about this to use the silly bold letters in my blog. Yes, this also means that I won't get to watch it live because I'll be performing at w00tstock San Francisco while it airs, but it also means that those of you who wanted to see w00tstock San Francisco on Monday but could only get tickets for Tuesday can still get your USRDA of Wil Wheaton sightings (snort) without ever leaving the comfort of your own home. Because, um, that sounds funny in my head.

SPOILER ALERT! Info about my episode of The Big Bang Theory follows:

The ‘Star Trek: TNG’ alum is guesting next week as a nastier version of himself. And as it turns out, this Wil Wheaton has a longstanding rivalry with Sheldon. How did this geektastic casting come to be? Says Kunal Nayyar (Raj), “The writers were discussing, ‘Who would be a good villain for Sheldon?’ just as Wil Wheaton was writing into them, saying how much he loves the show.” 

(via)

Okay, the final bit of business before I hit publish and go to work on the Memories of the Future release post and a few related bits: the project I've been working on that I wasn't sure if I could talk about, has been revealed. I'm voicing Bill Willingham's Peter & Max: A Fables Novel. It's been a delight to spend five hours a day exploring Bill's world and brining his characters to life, and we're going to have something very special when the whole project is completed.

Wil Wheaton’s 2009 Dwarven Dungeon Delve of Doom! Benefitting the Child’s Play Charity

Posted on By Wil

I'm about to head out to RinCon, and before I left, I wanted to make sure I let everyone attending know that I'm doing what I think will be a pretty awesome fundraiser for Child's Play while I'm there.

First, some history: Way back in the olden days, when 8 bits were enough to blow your mind on a 13-inch television and digital watches were a pretty neat idea, the concept of the Dungeon Delve was born. It's pretty straightforward: a group of players and a Dungeon Master sit down together, and the players have 45 minutes or so to make it through the end of a short dungeon, while the Dungeon Master does his best to kill them. The delve ends when the players defeat the final boss (or solve the final puzzle, or something like that), the time limit is reached, or the players all die horrible but noble and heroic deaths.

It's different from the collaborative storytelling experience that we experience in my regular D&D games, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun, and the time limit makes it perfect for running at conventions.

So, with that bit of historical context in your heads, allow me to announce …

Wil Wheaton's 2009 Dwarven Dungeon Delve of Doom! Benefitting the Child's Play Charity.

I'm going to run two delves; one on Friday at 6pm and one on Sunday at 12pm. There are five spots open for each delve, and they'll be available on a first come, first served basis starting on Friday when the con opens. 

Because I'm doing this to benefit the Child's Play Charity, I'm asking for a $50 donation to get into the game. For that donation, you get:

  • A "very special, very awesome" gift bag from my friends at Wizards of the Coast. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I talked to my friend there yesterday, and OMG is it going to be awesome. And special. But mostly awesome. 
  • Your very own set of dice to take home with you, engraved for the occasion, and provided by the good people at Gamestation dot Net.
  • Your old pal, Wil Wheaton, as your Dungeon Master.
  • You'll also be supporting an absolutely wonderful and worthy charitable organization.

We'll provide the characters, the minis, the dice (though you are of course welcome to use your own) and the dungeon. All you have to bring is your imagination and a donation to Child's Play.

To get into the game, all you have to do is sign up at the main registration desk before the available slots are filled. Even if you've never played D&D before, you can still have a lot of fun, in a relaxed and non-serious environment, with players and a DM who will certainly help you understand what's going on.

I'm pretty sure these spots will fill up very fast, but even if you can't get into the game, there will be space to come and watch us, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

an open letter to the guy who put just a geek the audiobook on his website for people to steal

Posted on By Wil

Hi there, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons,

I'm Wil Wheaton. I wrote Just A Geek, and I created the audiobook you're helping people steal. You may not know this, but I 'm just one guy, without a publisher, so when you help people steal this copy of Just A Geek by making it available for download, you're basically stealing directly from me. You're not stealing from some big publisher with deep pockets who is trying to rip you off with overpriced stuff; you are stealing directly from me, an indie artist and publisher who counts on every sale to make a living. I have to tell you, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, what you're doing sucks. It sucks a lot.

I worked hard on this audiobook. I invested almost 50 hours into the production, spread out over several weeks. I priced it under the average market price for audiobooks of its length, and I deliberately did not put DRM on it, because I don't believe in treating my customers like they are criminals. I mean, let's face it, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, DRM only punishes honest customers, because people like you, who steal from people like me, always find a way around it.

I notice that you have a nice big banner at the top of your webpage, imploring the people who are visiting your site to click on the ads you've put there, so you can keep the site running. I also see that you have a link for people to donate money to you. That's, um, that's rather ironic, isn't it? You are stealing from me and other authors, and then asking your fellow thieves to click on ads and give you donations, so you can make money from our work. Maybe it's just me, but that strikes me as what we would call "a real dick move."

I realize that I can't stop you from doing what you're doing. Even if I went through the hassle of filing DMCA takedown notices and filing complaints with the various authorities who handle this sort of thing, you'd just open up a new site somewhere else, and start all over again. But listen, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, maybe you don't realize that you're actually taking money right out of my pocket, and maybe you don't realize that what you're doing is no different than walking into a store, putting an audiobook under your jacket, and walking out with it. You're stealing from me, guy-who-I-won't-link-to-for-obvious-reasons, and I hope you'll read this, and stop.

I'd really appreciate it if you'd take these links down, and replace them with links to the place where people can purchase it from me, support my work, and ensure that I continue to release audiobooks without DRM or other annoying restrictions.

Thanks for listening,

Wil Wheaton

Memories of the Futurecast: Episode Five

Posted on By Wil

Futurecast700px-CHoly crap! It's time for Memories of the Futurecast.

Memories of the Future, Volume One, covers the first 13 episodes of TNG, so each week, I'm choosing something from one episode, and performing an excerpt for you. It will mostly be from the synopses, which is where I think the real humor of the book lives, but from time to time, I may work in some things from the other parts.

Two important things:

  1. This does not mean the book comes out in 13 weeks. It comes out much sooner than that. In fact, it comes out October 13th. Nyahh.
  2. These are not excerpted from an audiobook. These are recorded specifically for this podcast. I'm not sure if I'll do a full-length audiobook, yet, but I'm open to the idea.

Episode Notes:

  • The Memories of the Futurecast works hard to earn its [EXPLICIT] tag. You have been warned.
  • The theme music for this show is from Jive Ass Sleepers' album Gettin' Down to Business. The track is called Private Eye.
  • I think this show is a little quiet. I think I know why, but it's too late to do anything about it.
  • Yeah, I mixed the music near the 6:40 mark poorly. You didn't miss anything, though. Aren't you glad you're not paying for this?
  • This week, it's The Last Outpost! Yes, the introduction of the most intriguing enemy ever, plus Chinese Fingercuffs! There may be technobabble. You have been warned a second time about something unrelated to the naughty bits.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is loooooong this week: almost 25 minutes.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is tubby this week: almost 12MB.
  • Memories of the Futurecast congratulates the Dodgers on winning the NL West, despite doing their very best not to over the last two weeks.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is not just another mouth in the lipstick vogue.
  • Memories of the Futurecast promises not to bug you to follow it on Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast isn't even on Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast misses HOBO DARKSEID on Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast is done talking about Twitter.
  • Memories of the Futurecast wishes Garageband would hurry up and mix the damn show so we can post it and stop adding to this list, already.

Download Memories of the Futurecast: Episode FIVE!

(It used to say Four, because I had a temporary case of the stupids. I fixed it, though.)