Author: Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

in which progress is made

Posted on By Wil

A few months ago, while playing Left 4 Dead, I found myself cowering in a closet, absolutely terrified to go back out and face the horde. I knew that I had to move so the game would continue, but I just didn't want to go out and take my chances. I didn't know at the time that L4D has this sinister AI called The Director, which keeps the game constantly changing depending on what the player does, adjusting things to keep the game fun. For example, if you're cowering in a closet and think you're safe there, The Director will send a bunch of the Infected to claw down the door and give you a friendly little nudge so you'll keep going.

Eventually, I was dragged out of the closet by a Smoker, saved by Francis, and went on to finish the level, heart pounding and my hands trembling just a little bit. It was awesome.

The next morning, while I ate breakfast, I was thinking about what it would be like if that was real. What would it be like if you really couldn't just cross the street any more, because there were zombies everywhere who wanted to kill you? What would it be like if you knew that, whatever you did, wherever you went, there would always be more zombies coming at you, night and day, until you died? In zombie stories, the characters are always heroic and noble (with rare exception, and even then we know those characters are just there so they can get their comeuppance) so I wondered what it would be like to write a story where the main character looks around and decides that sooner or later the zombies are coming in, the survivors are going out, and either way, they're totally fucked.

I wrote the whole story, doing my very best to ignore the various voices of doubt and such that keep coming back (yes, like zombies) no matter how many times I think I've killed them. It was really fun to write. I knew more or less what I wanted to do with it, and I sort of knew who the characters were, but I didn't stop myself from making things up as I went along, if something caught my eye and seemed worth exploring.

Yesterday, I finished the major rewrites, and though it still needs some editorial polish and Andrew's Red Pen Of Doom, I'm anxious to publish it with some other shorts I've worked on recently.

announcing THE AWESOME HOUR!!1

Posted on By Wil

The schedule for PAX 09 has been posted, and I am on it.

BEHOLD:

Wil Wheaton first came to PAX in 2007, when he gave the keynote address that your parents won't stop making you listen to in the car. In 2008, he returned for a panel that asked and answered the burning question, "Can Wil Wheaton really be a panel all by himself?" This year, Commodore Wil Wheaton welcomes you aboard the USS AWESOME for 60 minutes of story-telling, lingerie-dodging, mirth-making, myth-making, iconoclasting, and the obligatory burning-questioning … ing.

I'll be in The Serpent Theatre from 2:30-3:30 on Sunday at PAX. I think it would be kind of awesome if we did a massive How We Roll photo as soon as the panel ended, too, but we'll talk about that as we get closer to PAX.

Got PAX questions? Post them in comments and I'll do my best to answer them.

I just wanted to say that I’m a nerd, and I’m here tonight to stand up for the rights of other nerds.

Posted on By Wil

Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.

"Hi, Gilbert. I'm a nerd too. I just found that out tonight. We have
news for the beautiful people. There's a lot more of us then there are
of you. I know there's alumni here tonight. When you went to Adams you
might've been called a spazz, or a dork, or a geek. Any of you that
have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you
think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join
us. Okay? Come on." -Lewis Skolnick, Revenge of the Nerds.

(More pictures from Anne's 80s party.)

just another day

Posted on By Wil

The Sun reached out from 93 million miles away, pushed against the curtains in my bedroom until it found a small gap, and poked though it. As it moved across the sky, it crept silently down the wall behind me, then deliberately down the headboard until it landed on my forehead. Once there, it took careful steps until it found its target and blazed relentlessly into my eyes.

I was jarred from my wonderful dream, forced to trade my viking garb for the Wheaton college T-shirt I sleep in, and my trusty wolf companion for my dog, who thumped her tail against the bed and licked my face when she realized I was awake.

I scratched her head and then my own, sat up, and got out of bed. She jumped down behind me and trotted down the hall toward the living room. I heard movement behind me and turned to see my cat, stretched out on his side next to Anne's pillow.

"Morning kitty," I said.

"Mrrow," he replied, but what I heard was "I again chose not to kill you while you slept. You're welcome."

I stretched, blinked my eyes several times, and made my way toward the kitchen, where I hoped I'd find coffee.

When I got there, I found not only coffee, but my wife.

"Is there coffee?"

"There is coffee," she said. We always ask each other if there's coffee, whether we know the answer or not; it's part of our morning routine.

"I like coffee," I said. I kissed her on the shoulder while I stepped around her and poured myself a cup. I took it into the dining room, and sipped it.

Ten minutes and half a cup later, I was officially awake. I became aware of the birds singing on the patio, the distant drone of an early morning lawnmower, and then the smell of something familiar on the air. I looked into the kitchen, expecting to see pancakes or waffles on the stove, but it was empty. I shrugged and went back to my coffee. When it was empty, I returned to the kitchen to refill it, and while I stood in front of the coffee machine, Anne took a loaf of banana bread out of the oven.

"Banana bread!" I said, excited. "I thought I smelled it, but I didn't know you were making it!"

She put it on a cooling rack and said, "I told you that I was making banana bread when you were getting your coffee."

I put on my best Homer-Simpson-is-exasperated voice and said, "I was tuning you out. Jeeze!"

She poked a toothpick into the center of the loaf. "Oh, that's sad."

I waited a second, and then I said, ". . . what?"

She looked at me and slowly shook her head as I giggled.

this is the introduction to memories of the future

Posted on By Wil

Memories of the Future should have been released already, but it was significantly delayed when I did a whole bunch of the "acting" part of the "Writer/Actor" multiclassing I've been doing for the last few levels. However, I took a giant leap toward release (wow, that sounds dirty) about 40 minutes ago, when I e-mailed the final bit of text off to the people who need it for the damn book to actually be published. (Yes, I have been the one log holding up this whole logjam. That's usually the way it works out around here.)

One of the things I needed to write and send was the introduction, which I thought I'd share here, now, because I think it's a great way to, you know, introduce the book. So when all your friends want to know what Memories of the Future is about (You have been relentlessly telling all of your friends about it several times a day, haven't you? That MAME cabinet Daddy needs for his office isn't going to buy itself, you know) you can point them to this post.

Introduction to Memories of the Future

In August 2006, Brad Hill, an editor at Weblogs, Inc., hired me to write humorous reviews of Star Trek: The Next Generation from my unique point of view as an actor and a fan of the show.

I started at the beginning of the first season, re-watching episodes that I hadn’t seen in a decade or longer, faithfully recording and sharing the memories they released. Along the way, I came up with some silly episode recaps, and an interesting perspective on the first season, twenty years after we brought it to life. The columns were very well-received, and tons of readers asked me if they’d be collected into a book. I didn’t plan on it originally, but AOL cut TV Squad’s budget before I’d even made it to the halfway point of the first year, and I decided that putting the entire season into a book wasn’t just a good way to finish the season, it was a moral imperative.

A few months after I began working on this book in earnest, at the 2009 Nebula awards dinner, I sat at a table with David Gerrold, who is best-known for writing the original series classic The Trouble With Tribbles. (Fun fact: David wrote and sold The Trouble with Tribbles when he was 19. My wife Anne asked him how he had the courage to do that, and David told her, "Because nobody told me I couldn't." That's so awesome, and everyone who is creative should commit that to memory.)

We were talking about all kinds of writerly stuff, and I mentioned to David that I was working on this book. As I started to describe it to him, I could see that he wasn't into it, but was too polite to tell me why.

After a minute, he said, "You have to be careful with your tell-all book…"

"Ah, that's why he wasn't into it." I thought.

"It's not a tell-all book. I hate those things," I said. "It's more like you're flipping through your high school yearbook with your friends."

I called on all my improv skills and held an imaginary book in my hands.

"It's like, 'Hey! I remember this, and I remember that, and did you know that this funny thing happened there, and … oh God … I can't believe I thought that was cool…'"

His face lit up. "That sounds like a book I'd like to read."

Here it is, David. I hope you enjoy it. (Additional fun fact: David Gerrold suggested me for the role of Wesley. If he hadn't done that, I don't know that I'd have ever voluntarily worn a pumpkin-colored sweater.

Despite that, though, I'm extremely grateful to David for convincing Bob Justman and Gene Roddenberry to take a chance on me.)

Volume One takes you from the pilot to Datalore. Volume Two will take you from Angel One to The Neutral Zone. During our journey together, we’ll certainly be going where no one has gone before, except those times when we go 20% to the left of where the original series went and talk about stuff a whole bunch without actually doing anything … but that’s part of what makes the first season so much fun to watch, especially knowing how great The Next Generation eventually became.

Put on your shoulder pads, set a course for 1987, emit an inverse-tacyon pulse into the heart of the anomaly, and engage! By Riker’s beard, you shall be avenged! (Um, as soon as Riker’s beard shows up, next season.)

Namaste,

Wil Wheaton
Pasadena
June 2009

Memories of the Future will be available very, very, very soon. I am doing everything I possibly can to ensure that it is worth the wait.