All posts by Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

i’m on major nelson’s podcast

When I was in Seattle for Child’s Play dinner and D&D with Acquisitions, Incorporated, I got to go to Microsoft’s Millennium campus, where I did a podcast with Major Nelson.

We talked about a lot of different things (mostly gaming, which will probably be unsurprising considering that it’s a gaming-oriented podcast) but I also revealed some news that I don’t think I’ve spoken about anywhere else . . . he typed, enticingly, before leaning back in his chair and sipping his coffee. “Oh yes, that will get people to listen,” he thought. “You’re a clever one, you are.”

“Not as clever as you think!” The dog said.

He fell backward and landed on the floor, the mug shattering and splashing hot liquid across his chest. “A talking dog?! Surely this can’t be happening!”

“It is happening,” the dog said, drawing a dog-sized pistol, “and don’t call me Shirley.”

Um. What just happened?

[::Backs away slowly::]

a woefully inadequate session report

I can’t go into specifics about yesterday’s D&D 4E session at Penny Arcade, and I won’t be able to say anything until after the podcasts are released . . . but I thought I’d collect the few tweets I sent while we were playing as sort of an oblique overview:

Remember when you were a kid, and you hardly slept on Christmas Eve, because you were so excited? That was me last n ight. D&D4E FTW! –7:51am

I am currently watching Mike and Scott design my character portrait. OMG this is awesome. – 9:04am

We’ve been playing for hours, and it doesn’t feel like it at all. This is even more fun than I thought it would be. – 12:14pm

Pizza has arrived. This shit just got REAL. – 1:02pm

Sharing parmesan and red peppers with @pvponline, tweeting about it before he can. – 1:12pm

One day, I will sing again The Ballad of Rudy the Undead Hound … – 4:14pm

Best. Gaming. Session. Ever. – 5:28pm

It turned out that my fears about messing up my character were unfounded. I did everything right, and over the course of our session it became clear that I hadn’t made any stupid mistakes in his creation . . . in fact, he was kind of a bad ass. Also, I’m really proud of myself for doing everything old school, with books and paper and a whole bunch of not using a character generator to do all the heavy lifting. Wheaton’s still got it, ladies. (Um. Not that most ladies I know, including my wife, care about this sort of thing or understand why [THING I CAN’T TALK ABOUT] and [OTHER THING I CAN’T TALK ABOUT] was so cool.)

If you listened to the first Penny Arcade Podcast and, like me, thought something like, “Man, I wish I could be part of that because it sounds like so much fun,” I can happily report that we were correct. It was awesome, and I think the podcasts are going to be tremendously entertaining.

at last, it can be revealed . . .

So this is why I got to spend the entire weekend making a D&D 4E character without feeling guilty about it at all:

For those of you who enjoyed the D&D Podcasts, we’re recording another session on Thursday. Jim Darkmagic (of the New Hampshire Darkmagics), Binwin Bronzebottom, and Omin Dran of Acquisitions Incorporated make their return to the table, while William “Wil” Wheaton joins as the new hire, playing an unreleased class. Yes, that’s correct: we have a celebrity guest. This is the big Goddamned Leagues, people.

I loved those D&D Podcasts, because it was like listening to me and my friends play in high school. I can’t wait to actually participate in one (I’ve written a backstory that fits into their campaign, even,) and watch Jim Darkmagic set Binwin on fire firsthand. I also can’t wait to find out who the celebrity guest is, because that’s going to be awesome.

I don’t have a character generator, or a subscription to D&D Insider, so I had to create [Awesome Character Name Redacted] the old school way: on the floor of my office, flipping between the PHB and Adventurer’s Vault to make sure I was investing my limited magic item budget in the wisest way, and then double checking to ensure I had applied the bonuses correctly. I hadn’t touched the 4th Edition character creation rules before last week, and I haven’t created a character from blank paper in over a decade, so I’m pretty sure that when I get over to the Penny Arcade Secret Headquarters of Doom to play tomorrow, there may be some serious pointing and laughing at me when I show off my character sheet and my errors are revealed for all to see. I hope they don’t do it in front of the mysterious celebrity guest, because I want to make a good impression.

The process of creating my character, who I guess I can tell you is an Eladrin (because I’ve always thought high elves were cool) and is a new, secret class out of the PHB 2, awakened all these slumbering memories of some of the happiest times I’ve ever had, and I can’t believe how lucky I am that I get to do this tomorrow. It feels too good to be true, you know?

Last night’s Child’s Play dinner raised over $200,000 and my harebrained idea to auction off “have a beer with Gabe and Wil and Kurtz and Khoo and The Other Mike at a bar around the corner after the auction’s over” went for $2900 and ended up being a ridiculously fun after party with Enforcers and Rock Band. Want to know how much beer I drank? One half a Double Bastard. Want to know why it was only one half? Because Sean from Harmonix bumped into me after the waiter put it into my hand and me and my friend Chris ended up wearing half of it. If anyone was wondering why I walked out of that bar, seriously soaked in and stinking like beer while staying completely sober, now you know. Goodtimes.

And check this out: because this week isn’t cool enough already, I’m going to Microsoft in about an hour to finally do a podcast with Major Nelson. OMGINORITE?!

This really is turning out to be the best week, ever, and I haven’t even disclosed the stuff that’s locked behind various NDAs.

I’m an incredibly lucky guy. I need to keep saying that so I don’t take any of this for granted.

an incomplete guide to lounge music

This week’s contribution to the LA Daily is online. It’s so money and it doesn’t even know it:

I do this silly thing on Twitter where I make up conversations with iTunes. The way it’s turned out, iTunes and I have a slightly dysfunctional relationship, but since it’s all in my head anyway, I’m in complete control (iTunes: Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that. Me: Stop it! I’m writing my column!) so I can claim responsibility for whatever music iTunes is making me listen to.

Last week, it shuffled to Combustible Edison’s “The Millionaire’s Holiday” (from the 1995 album I, Swinger) and though I hadn’t made a conscious effort to listen to lounge music in months, it was suddenly all I wanted to hear. I had so much fun listening to it again, I thought I’d use my column this week to celebrate some of the records I love, and hopefully introduce new listeners to the glorious world of space age bachelor pad music.

It’s a deliberately incomplete guide, so as to not overwhelm the reader, but it was fun to put together and it’s not a bad place to start for the lounge-curious hepcat, if I do say so myself.

Comments are closed on this post, but I’d love to hear your thoughts at the Weekly.

not so stealthy

Yesterday, the stealth bomber flew over our house seven or eight times.

Not so stealthy

It totally would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for my dogs, who bark like crazy whenever blimps or other low-flying aircraft go over our house.

Look! Up in the sky! Rrrroooooohhhhhwwwwwooooo!!!!!

I guess it was doing a flyover as part of a December 7th memorial.