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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Author: Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

and now, little green bag

Posted on 17 March, 2008 By Wil

Color-Coded Criminals - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Threadless finally reprinted a shirt I’ve been waiting a long time to get, and it went on sale today.

When I posted about this a few months ago, we all lamented that they sold out before we could buy them and make them the official T-shirt of our gang, so I’m doing my civic duty and letting everyone know that it’s available again.

For you damn kids today, this references a movie we all liked when we were young, called Reservoir Dogs. It was made by the guy who made Kill Bill.

What? You don’t know Kill Bill? Christ. Okay, how about Grindhouse?

No, he didn’t make the cool movie in Grindhouse. He did the other one, Death Proof.

I know, I know. But Reservoir Dogs is really a great movie, I swear.

Okay, how about Pulp Fiction? You ever hear of Pulp Fiction?

I know it came out when you were in elementary school, but you walk around in 80s clothes like they’re cool — they’re not, by the way, and I was there so I know what I’m talking about — and you weren’t even born then.

Look, the point is, when you’re as old as we are, you’ll want to have semi-obscure cultural references to share with other old folks, so you can spot each other in the line to work in the sugar mines and jointly recall a time when you were cool, and old people just didn’t get it.

Now get off my lawn, before I blast you with my laser before our evil alien overlords get back.

when come back, bring π

Posted on 14 March, 2008 By Wil

It’s here! It’s here! The day we all wait all year for has finally arrived!

It’s π day!

I’m celebrating the occasion by taking myself on a special geek date to Wizard World down at the convention center. It’s even cool enough outside for me to wear my π hoodie on the train.

There is going to be so much geeking out today, I can’t even stand it.

Please to be enjoying this classic WWdN post from 2004:

This morning over breakfast, I said to my wife, "Happy π day!"

"Happy pie day? What the hell are you talking about?"

"No, not ‘pie’," I said. "’π’."

"Not ‘pie,’ but ‘pie.’" She was clearly not amused. "Isn’t it a little early to be drinking?"

"Anne, look at the date on the calendar."

"Yes it’s march 14th, and you’re going to watch WrestleMania dos equis*
with your brother." She frowned. "Are you trying to tell me that you’re
taking a pie to Jeremy’s house? Because if you expect me to make you a
pie . . ."

"No, I don’t expect you to make me a pie." I said, well into that
area where you’ve explained the joke so much, it’s never going to be
funny.

"Today is March fourteenth. That makes it 3.14 on the calendar. 3.14 is also known as π."

She blinked a few times.

"Oh. It’s π day."

"Yes!" I said. "And at 1:59 pm, it will be even more π day. Isn’t that cool!?"

She took a long, thoughtful drink from her coffee mug, carefully set it down and said, "You are such a nerd."

Happy π Day, my fellow geeks.

geek vs. itunes

Posted on 11 March, 2008 By Wil

In the spirit of Cat vs. Monkey . . .

Me: iTunes, play whatever you
want on random.

iTunes: Cool! Have some Isaac Hayes, followed by Yes!

Me: Maybe we need to talk about this…

iTunes: Hey, jerk, it was in YOUR library. Don’t blame me for getting creative.

Me: Let’s never fight again.

iTunes: Aww, I feel bad. Here, have
Zeppelin, then Wilco, and now Tool. Are we cool?

Me: Yeah, we’re cool.
Stop being so clingy. Sheesh.

iTunes: Clingy?! What do you mean? I’m not clingy! Here, have some back to back Skynyrd! See? I’m cool! I’m cool! Let’s hang out!

Me: Uh . . .

iTunes: Now have some Copeland!

Me: Copeland? After Skynyrd?

iTunes: Yep. Now enjoy some Sade.

Me: *blinks*

iTunes: My, my, we’re really learning at lot about you today, aren’t we?

Me: Hey! Anne put that in there.

iTunes: Oh, so you’re sharing me with someone else? Maybe she wants to hear . . . Gary Numan’s Cars?

Me: Actually, she put that in there, too.

iTunes: Well what about Uncle Tupelo? Is that you? Or is our whole relationship based on a lie?

Me: No, that was me. You’re starting to freak me out.

iTunes: Here, enjoy something soothing called Velvet Piano. What the hell is this? Did you download this from one of those retroblogs you read?

Me: How did you know about that?

iTunes:
the SDK isn’t just for programmers, you know.

Me: Okay, I think it’s time for a playlist.

iTunes: No! No! Here’s Nine Inch Nails! You just bought that! You like Nine Inch Nails! And now Boingo! doesn’t it make you happy? Doesn’t it remind you of those halcyon days of youth?

Me: Now you’re just embarrassing yourself. I think we’re going to spend a little time away from each other.

iTunes: Wait!

Me: It’s not you, iTunes. It’s me.

iTunes: You’re going to listen to the Juno CD in the car, aren’t you?! I knew it!

Me: Okay, we need to stop.

iTunes: Why?

Me: The joke is wearing thin. This isn’t funny any more.

iTunes: I love you.

Me: *Force Quits iTunes*

some cool star trek: the manga news

Posted on 11 March, 2008 By Wil

TrekMovie had some very nice things to say about my story in Star Trek: The Manga:

Wil Wheaton skipped the easy Wesley Crusher story (are there any other kind?) to pen a TOS tale for Tokyopop’s second Star Trek: The Manga collection that debuted last year, and it’s easily one of the best in the book. Drawn by E.J. Su, recently of IDW’s Transformers comics —official non-Trek plug accomplished!— Wheaton’s “Cura Te Ipsum” (Latin for “heal thyself”) tackles a Kirk vs.
the Prime Directive tale with surprising skill, and establishes his
cred as a comics creator well beyond his celebrated cult of geek.

Uhm. Wow. Thanks! I was scared to death the entire time I worked on it, but I had a lot of help from Andrew, and I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out, myself.

I was at Trekmovie yesterday, reading this great editorial by Andre Bormanis, and I would have missed the review if reader T hadn’t pointed it out to me. Thanks, T!

Speaking of the manga, I’m was lucky enough to work with E.J. Su again on the next one, and he sent in his pencils yesterday. I wish I could show just a little bit of them, because even though it’s only pencils, it’s absolutely magnificent. Once again, he took my descriptions and turned them into something cinematic, while capturing all the emotional weight of the story. Tokyopop plans to release this one, called "Aratanaru Michi He", in summer, so we can have it available during the big summer convention season. I didn’t think I could reveal any details about the story, but I see that my editor, Luis, told Trekmovie pretty much the same thing I’d say if I had permission:

The story, "Art of War" shows Kirk dealing with his hatred of Klingons,
but for the first time sympathizing too (foreshadowing the peace treaty
between the Federation and the Klingons).

Writing scenes between Kirk and a Klingon commander was as much of a thrill as it was a challenge. I knew that I was taking a huge risk with the story, and it was going to live or die based upon how these two guys interacted. I had this awesome and unexpected Writer moment while working on a scene between them, when I just got out of the way and let the characters talk to me. I know it sounds very "ooga booga" but I felt, for the first time in my life as a capital-W writer, like I was transcribing something real, rather than making something up. It was kind of a big deal for me.

This time around, we got 10 more pages to work with than volume two, so I was able to make the story richer than last time without sacrificing any action. In fact, I deliberately put more action into this story, so it would be more of a traditional manga than my last one. In fact, I told Luis, "I want to bring manga to Star Trek this time, since I brought Star Trek to manga last time."

Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense now, either, but it made sense in my head when I said it. Having drinks with your editor rules.

Happiest Days orders from February

Posted on 10 March, 2008 By Wil

I know that there are a dozen or so outstanding Happiest Days
orders from February. I’m going to process them all today and tomorrow,
so domestic orders should arrive by the end of the week, and
International orders should arrive within 2 weeks. I’d like to apologize to everyone who is waiting.

It’s so weird to feel like I’ve completely lost over a month of my life. It’s kind of like looking at a faded photograph with most of the details blurred out, or trying to remember a dream that runs away as soon as you wake up.

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