I played in event number eight of the World Championship of Online Poker yesterday. It was a rough outing for me, thanks to a couple of suckouts early on that put me on the short-stack for pretty much the entire time I played.
I live blogged it at CardSquad, and wanted to share the final update with non-poker-reading WWdN readers:
3:45 PM – Ryan is doing his homework on the iMac across the room from me. I just took a look at all the players who are still in, and it looks like I outlasted everyone on Team PokerStars.
“Hey, I outlasted everyone on Team PokerStars,” I told him.
“See? You are a winner!” He said.
“Unless you’re thinking in terms of the actually-having-something-to-show-for-it kind of way,” I joked.
“Wil! When I played baseball, you always told me that no matter if I won or lost, I should always do my best and feel good about at least playing,” He said. “So why can’t you do that?”
“Holy shit. He was paying attention when I told him that stuff, and it made it into his sixteen year-old brains. I think I’m going to cry right now.”
“You’re right,” I said. “Thank you for reminding me. I do feel like a winner.”
But I didn’t tell him why.
As a parent, all I want to do in my life is help my stepkids make good decisions, and hopefully develop into kind, compassionate, caring adults. A big part of that is teaching them to care less about the results of something, so they can enjoy the experience of doing it. This is entirely at odds with the parenting they receive when they are not in my care. It feels so good to know that my influence, which so often feels invisible, shone through a little bit yesterday afternoon. Poker is fun and all, but I could have won the whole thing yesterday, and it wouldn’t have come close to how I felt when Ryan spoke those words to me — words I wouldn’t have heard if I hadn’t “lost.”
