Author: Wil

I stood in front of the open refrigerator, and scanned the shelves. Anne spoke to me from the dining room.
“What are you doing?” She said.
“I’m thinking about having a Homer Simpson,” I said.
“Donuts and a beer?” She said.
I stood up, a pink box in one hand, an Arrogant Bastard Ale in the other.
“Yeah,” I said. “Isn’t that horrible?”
“What’s horrible,” she said, “is that I knew what you were talking about without looking.”
I opened up the box. A glazed donut clung to one side, and a devil’s food with rainbow jimmies rested next to it. The crumbs and remains of their brothers surrounded them.
“You want to join me?” I said. “There are two donuts left.”
“No. That’s disgusting.” She said. “I think I’ll have a Flaming Moe instead.”
“Okay,” I said, “I’ll get the cough syrup.”

WWdN reader Charlotte told me that my appearance on CSI was voted “Best Celebrity Cameo” by readers of Canadian TV Guide!

Wil Wheaton, CSI 38%
Colin Farrell, Scrubs 19%
Swoosie Kurtz, Lost 21%
Quentin Tarantino, American Idol 15%
Gerald McRaney, Deadwood 8%

I think Walter was a little bit more than a cameo, but any time I get a chance to beat Quentin Tarantino and Swoosie Kurtz, I’m going to take it all the way to the bank.

I celebrated my birthday by spending four days with my family, completely unwired.
If you get a chance to spend four unwired days in a row, I highly recommend it. If you can spend those four days with people you love, I double-plus don’t not recommend it.
Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes via e-mail or comments. So far, year 33 is looking good.

Thirty-three years ago today, Rick and Debbie Wheaton became my parents, and as long as I can remember, I’ve stayed up until at least midnight on July 28th, so I could watch the calendar turn, and commemorate the happy occasion by running around my lawn in my boxers, hollering out “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!”
However, now that I am the distinguished age of 33, I felt a more appropriate way to mark the passage of time would be to play a Sit-n-Go at PokerStars. I sat into a game just about 11:30, hoping that I’d still be alive at midnight, and I could celebrate with a win.
Sadly, I didn’t catch too many good hands, and when I finally pushed I had QTc vs KTo . . . and I didn’t improve, so I finished in third place, which is still in the money, and at least I didn’t lose to K4o.
I was satisfied to cash, and happy with the way I played it, and I almost went to bed, but then I thought, “Hey! It’s my birthday, goddammit! If I want to play another SNG, then that’s what I’m going to do.” I may have put my little fist on my hip as I said it, but I can’t be sure.
I sat into another one, and . . . long story short: I played a great game, caught cards when I needed them, and after a long heads-up battle, I won!
I was so excited, I ran out the front door, and raced around my lawn in my boxers, hollering, “IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! I WON AND IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! WOOO!”
Luckily for my neighbors, my birthday only comes once a year.

I haven’t formed an opinion about Digg yet. I think it’s got a ton of potential, but my jury is still out.
Anyway, this morning, I dugg a link to a short TNG blooper reel, from the first season. In this clip, several different cast members flub lines, with cusstacular results. Somehow, I’m not in this one, but I am on a later one where I cuss like a sailor for close to a minute, which I thought was hilarious, but earned me a lecture from Rick Berman about using language appropriate for my age. Thanks for getting me busted, season two editing crew.
I remember seeing this at one of our first Christmas party, and though it’s funny, it’s nothing compared to one from a later season that’s so “blue” an edict was issued from the powers that be which effectively ended creatively edited TNG blooper reels.