Author: Wil

Anne’s away overnight celebrating a Big Birthday with her friend, so I’m home alone with the kids.
That means pizza for dinner, Family Guy and Futurama on TV, and some general goofing off until their bedtime which was a few hours ago.
After they went to sleep, I sat at my desk, fired up my Death Cab For Cutie / Wilco / The Shins / Nada Surf playlist, and worked with my friend Russ on the Great WWdN Redesign of 2005. It’s coming along nicely, and I’m really excited to get it finished.
Riley has slept under my feet for much of the time I’ve been here, while Sketch has walked in and out of the room about a hundred times (that guy who said “A cat is always on the wrong side of a closed door” was talking about my Fat Guy). Sketch has been coughing a lot the last week or so, and I’m really worried that he’s nearing the end of his life. I just can’t afford the ~300 dollars it costs every single time I take him to the vet, (and he hates the tests and the drive there) so I’m just consulting with her on the phone once or twice a week, and hoping for the best. Sketch’s little heart is sick, and his disease is clearly advancing, but he still sits in my lap when I write, and sleeps on my chest every night . . . the thought of losing him (probably sooner than later) is just too much to bear. It’s really hard to face that reality, because the rest of him is healthy and happy. I guess when it’s time, he’ll tell me, just like Felix did.
I think he knows I’m writing about him — he just walked over to me, put his little paws up on my leg, and meowed until I picked him up. He’s looking over my hands as I write this . . . Hi Sketch. I love you, you fat little guy.
(Just in case he can read . . . I swear, he’s turning his head to follow the cursor while I type. Heh.)
It’s just after midnight now, and I’ve been working without a break since I put the kids into bed around 9:30, so it’s time for bed.
Before I sat down to write this, I walked through the house and checked the doors to make sure they were locked, turned off lights, got myself a glass of water . . . and walked out onto the porch to call Felix in for the night.
I really did it. I opened the door, and without even thinking called out, “Feeeeeeelix! The Bear! The Be—” before I remembered that he’s not ever going to come trotting across my lawn and up the driveway again.
That made me sad, and I cried a little bit before I walked back into the house. Then, I walked past the little memorial we made in the house for The Bear, with his (now empty) cup of water, his dish and his little paw prints in plaster, and I cried a little bit more. I still miss him. A lot.
And now Sketch is still sitting on my lap, looking back at me with his little fangface, and the tears are threatening to come back, this time for him.
I think it’s time to go to sleep.

Via boingboing, I found the Dummy Text generator:

There’s a voice that keeps on calling me. Down the road, that’s where I’ll always be. Every stop I make, I make a new friend. Can’t stay for long, just turn around and I’m gone again. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down, Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.
80 days around the world, we’ll find a pot of gold just sitting where the rainbow’s ending. Time – we’ll fight against the time, and we’ll fly on the white wings of the wind. 80 days around the world, no we won’t say a word before the ship is really back. Round, round, all around the world. Round, all around the world. Round, all around the world. Round, all around the world.
Ten years ago a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-team.

I think I may use this to create my next masterpiece!

In an effort to be more like my hero David Sedaris, I’m doing a live performance of Dancing Barefoot, which will be recorded and turned into an audiobook!
Details:

WHAT: Dancing Barefoot, live on stage!
WHERE: Acme Comedy Theatre (where else? 😉
135 N. La Brea
Hollywood, CA 90036
(323) 525-0202
WHEN: Wednesday, April 20th and Wednesday, April 27th at 8 pm.
TICKETS: $12

I will have a very limited number of Dancing Barefoot books for sale, and if you already own a copy that you’d like to get signed, please bring it out. I’m happy to do that.
I just love Dancing Barefoot. When I read from it, I get to revisit the great memories I wrote about, but I also get to remember how fun and exciting it was to write, publish, and release it. In contrast to the frustration and disappointment I experienced with Just A Geek, I have nothing but fond memories of the Monolith Press run of Dancing Barefoot.
This is going to rock! \m/

We had our last preview show for ACME A Day In The Life on Saturday night. Previews are scary, because they’re the first time we put our material up for a real audience, but they’re also extremely important. Previews help us figure out what sketches need work, what sketches can be left alone, and what sketches need to be quietly taken behind the shed and told a story about the Rabbit Farm.
In this show, we’ve got a fairly complicated stunt to work out, as well: we’re doing this thing where the whole show takes place in one day, and the same characters show up in more than one sketch, with some incredibly hilarious call backs. We were unsure if the audience would get what we were doing, and worried that even if they did, they may not think it’s as clever and funny as we do. But over both previews it’s worked incredibly well, and I think it’s going to reward audiences who are paying attention.
We open this Saturday night:

WHAT: ACME A Day In The Life
WHERE: Acme Comedy Theatre
135 N. La Brea
Hollywood, CA 90036
(323) 525-0202
WHEN: Saturday, 8 pm.

I was blown away by the number of WWdN readers who came to see Love Machine. I hope you will all come out and see A Day In The Life, too. I promise you won’t regret it.

I think it’s time to open the WWdN mailbag . . .

Subject:Wil how a terrible news that ya are a lefty
Date: April 10, 2005 1159
From:Craig R.
To:Wil Wheaton
Message:Will sorry to hear that you are one of those lefty’s from Holly Wood … Though it should not surprise me much of what comes out of Holly Wood these days . You are just like the other sewer crap that comes out of Tensile town , I’m referring to the Pathetic schmucks such as Whopi Goldberg , Ya know her a as the faithful bar tender on the Enterprise . Martin Shean , Susan Surandan and Sean Pen . Ya all just have to face it Bush got over 51 to 52% of the vote just look at the map. So face the facts hippie and live with it BUSH WON BY A LAND SLIDE !!!! NOW I KNOW IT DON’T SET WELL WITH UR INTELLECT . HAVE A NICE LIFE AND LEARN TO SUFFER IN SCONCE … OH BY THE WAY KERRY VOTED TO CUT THE INTEL.. BUDGET BY 80% READ THE SENATE VOTING RECORDS. GUESS YOU WILL BE OFF MY MOVIE LIST WHEN YA COME OUT IN THEATERS AT LEAST PATRICK STEWART KNOWS WHEN TO KEEP SILENT. YA CAN LEARN ALLOT FROM HIM ON CLASSY BEHAVIOR. YOUR JUVENAL AND CHILDISHNESS IS STILL SHOWING SO WHY DON’T YA GROW UP.

FORMER NEXT GENERATION FAN.
CRAIG R.

Dear Craig,
I learned allot from your classy e-mail. I was unaware that 51 to 52% of anything was a landslide, but we sewer crap probably use a different kind of math than you do. I apologize if that don’t set well with ur intellect.
Next time I see Martin Shean, Susan Surandan or Sean Pen I’ll be sure to share your insights with them. Maybe we can all trade our juvenal and childishness for suffering in sconce.
Best Wishes from Tensile town,
Will Wheaton
(I’m not sure if this is real, or not. If it’s not, it’s the funniest satire in history. If it is . . . it explains so much.)