Author: Wil

I am Jack’s Holiday Program

I just got back from watching Nolan’s holiday program at his school.
Nolan is in 5th grade this year, so it’s the last elementary school holiday program I’ll see for quite some time.
Well, I guess I could just go hang out there, like that guy who graduated in 1995, but still hangs out on the football field at the high school…c’mon, you know him…but that’d just be lame.
Anne and I were actually very excited to see the program this year, and I felt badly for all the years I sat there for an hour, enjoying it when it was one of my step-kids up there, but really just wanting it to be over…so let this be a lesson to all of you who are the parents of a 3rd grader: You only get 2 more of these, and you’ll miss them when they’re gone…so enjoy it.
So I’m watching today’s show with a certain sadness, but excitement, because I love to watch my boys do things like this, so I’m even more hyper-aware than I usually am about the awful behavior of the people around me. (Oh, yeah. You don’t want to see a movie, play, or performance with me. I’m that guy who gets super pissed at the people who talk, or leave their cell phones on, or eat that popcorn with their mouths wide open…I have actually gotten so pissed in theatres, that I’ve left the movie, gotten my money back, and waited for the damn thing to come out on DVD, so I can watch it alone. Dammit.)
The cafetorium at the school is filled to overflowing, and it’s 50 degrees today in LA, so everyone is bundled up in their finest parkas, taking up twice as much area as they normally would, and the place is just, well, stinky. Imagine a subway in winter, during evening rush, and add to that the smell that is unique to an elementary school…and you’ve got it. Anne got there before me, and staked out a good seat, because every year, we end up getting there right as it starts, and standing in the back, with all of the other parents who overslept, or took too long for breakfast, or who had to grab a quickie once the kids were at school.
Anne got really good seats, as far as being able to see the stage goes…but as far as people you’re sitting by? Not so good. In the running for most annoying audience member are the woman sitting next to me, who kept loudly farting (really awful, stinky ones, that just linger…but they sounded good, reverberating off the metal cafeteria chairs), the two little kids sitting behind us, to the right, who did not stop talking the entire time, except when their mother told them that a good way to stay occupied would be to stand on the floor and bang on their chairs in time to the music, and the kid immediately behind me, who had one of those little kid colds, and coughed and sneezed throughout the whole performance. I especially loved it when he sneezed all over the back of my neck, and his mother didn’t even make a showing of apologizing, or offering something to wipe it off…so I used my sleeve. Nice.
All of the classes were great, and the kids were just adorable. The theme this year was Peace and Diversity, which is very funny, considering that I live in the most reactionary, demagogic Republican area in the freakin’ world. (All of my neighbors had those offensive “Protect Marriage” signs last year, when the homophobes were trying to make it certain that marriage should only be between men and women. Because those marriages always succeed. And we have to keep the gays from soiling that sacred, unspoiled institution, right?) Sorry. mini-rant. I’m back now.
My absolute favorite moment was when these kids were reading poems about winter. I think they were 4th graders, maybe 3rd graders. Anyway, there are 4 kids up there, all in their holiday finest, reading poems, like “The Snowman” by Shel Silverstein. The last kid, who looks a lot like Dewey from “Malcolm in the Middle”, and is wearing a checkered shirt and non-matching clip-on tie (it was so damn cute, I couldn’t stand it), and he recites, from memory, a poem by elementary school staple Jack Prelutsky. No small feat for a 3rd of 4th grader, okay? This kid does a great job. I mean, it’s really, really good, and he is doing it from memory. When he’s done, he looks towards where I guess his family is sitting, and he shrugs, like, “Well, that’s about as good as it gets”, and picks his nose and eats it.
It was awesome. I realized this morning how much I’m going to miss these things, and I got to enjoy farts, sneezes, metal-chair-drums, and the nose-picking kid.
All is right with the world.

RFB

I’m warming up for a supercool Radio Free Burrito Xmas show, so the RFB is streamin’ today. Check out the mix, and let me know what you think: radio@wilwheaton.net

Santa Claus is back in town

Boy, my auctions are going really well! I’m sure that regular readers are getting a little tired of hearing about them, so I’ll just point you to the totally lame “about me” page I made…boy, it took me back to the old Pagemaker days, I tell you what!
While I was waiting for my eBay stuff to process, I headed over to Slashdot, to see what was up in the world of “news for nerds, stuff that matters”, and, while I was being a wiseass, I saw this story, about the new Joss Whedon show, which he is calling “The anti-trek”. It sounds awesome to me, and I put in a call to my agent, and he is going to call Joss Whedon’s people, and see if we can’t set up a meeting…how cool would it be if I were to play a bad guy, on a SF show?
When I talked to my agent today, he told me that we’re just finishing up the details for me to narrate the A&E Biography of River Phoenix. I’m really looking forward to that. It’s about damn time someone did River’s story in a non-exploitive way. He was an amazing person, and this will be a great way for me to honor his memory.
Pretty damn cool, baby. Pretty. Damn. Cool.
Anne, the boys, and I are doing massive Christmas baking tonight…it’s one of my favorite things to do during the holidays…fire up a little Elvis’ Christmas album in the old CD player, put a fire in the fireplace, drink some hot apple cider, and make the whole house smell good.
It certainly beats the hell out of shopping, that’s for sure!
Speaking of Christmas, watch this space for the exciting, Radio Free Burrito XXXmas Extravaganza show!

eBay for Xmas, Part Deux!

Well, the success of my first eBay auction is really exciting, and totally unexpected!
Many, many people have emailed me, asking if I’ll be doing another one, and if I’ll be putting up anything from “Stand By Me”, so I’ve gone ahead and put up two more:
This one is of me and River, behind the Blue Point Diner, right after I’ve shot the trash can. It’s one of my favorite stills from the movie.
This one is of just me, looking sad and doe-like, wistfully wondering what life is like across that trestle…o(r looking towards the grip truck while the photographer says, “Beautiful, babe! Keep looking off that way! Oh, you’re amazing, baby! We love it! love it!” I can’t remember which.) 🙂
Did some holiday shopping for the kids today, and remembered why I always promise myself that I’m going to have my Christmas shopping completed by May, each year.
Push, shove, complain, argue, repeat.

A Christmas Story

I think that A Christmas Story is the greatest Christmas movie ever made. Each year, I watch it, over and over, on TNN or TNT or TBS, or whatever T-channel does that marathon, and I never, ever, get tired of it. Every year, when I watch it, I am reminded of the time, when I was about 10 or so, that I auditioned for it. The auditions were held on a cold, rainy day in late spring, down in some casting office in Venice, I think. I saw the same kids that I always saw on auditions: Sean Astin, Keith Coogan, this kid named “Scooter” who had a weird mom, and Peter Billingsley, who was very well known at the time, because he was “Messy Marvin” in those Hershey’s commercials. I sort of knew Peter, because we’d been on so many auditions together, but I was always a little star struck when I saw him. (One time, I saw Gary Coleman on an audition…now, this was HUGE for all of us kids who were there, because we’re talking 1982 or 83…and he was Arnold freakin’ Jackson, man…wow). [tangent] Whenever I see Sean Astin, I sob at him that he got to be in Goonies, and I didn’t, and he always says, “Hey, man, you got Stand By Me. I’d trade all my movies for that.” I haven’t seen him since he did Lord of the Rings…but something is telling me that he wouldn’t be so keen to trade that. 😉 [end of tangent]
So I remember that audition, for Christmas Story. The scenes we had to read were the one where Ralphie is telling Santa what he wants, and panics, telling Santa that a football is okay, the one where Ralphie is decoding the Little Orphan Annie message, and the one where he thinks he shot his eye out.
I don’t remember much more than that, except that my dad took me on the audition, and helped me learn my lines. I can still see my dad, in all his permed, mustached, corduroy-pantsed, 1983 glory, helping me understand how badly Ralphie wanted that BB gun. It’s a really happy memory, because my dad and I didn’t do too many things together when I was a kid, and I always loved it when he’d take me on an audition. [tangent] Once, I had an audition for Frosted Flakes, and, this I will never forget, my dad took me to the call, over on Sunset near Gower, and there were tons of kids, running around (yes, Scooter and his weird mom, who wore a wig and low-cut evening gowns to auditions in the afternoons, were there). My dad was helping me learn my copy, which had something to do with me and Tony The Tiger sitting on an airplane together. My dad told me that when I was done with my reading, that I should “tag” my audition, by saying something funny or memorable…he suggested that I point to my orange (well, more like raw umber) Le Tigre shirt, and ask Tony, “How’d you get off my shirt!?” I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard, and I raced through the reading, just so I could give up the funny. I don’t recall if they laughed or not, but I sure did. It was just cool to be there with my dad.[end of tangent]
So, if you haven’t seen this movie, you really must. At the very least, rent it, and enjoy the performance of Scottie “I left the industry to do porn” Schwartz as Flick. (I can tease Scott, because I sort of know him, too.)

A Christmas Carol

Boy, if you live anywhere near New York, you simply must go see Patrick’s performance of “A Christmas Carol” when he brings it there. I think he starts on the 24th, for 8 performances, all for charity.
Anne and I took the kids to see it on Sunday, because Patrick gave us tickets. We got to sit in the fifth row! It’s the closest I’ve ever been to the stage all the times I’ve seen it, and it was really amazing to watch the sublteties in his characterizations. I saw stuff that I’ve never seen before.
You know, I was at the very first performance of this, way back in 1988 or 89, at the Wadsworth theatre near UCLA. I went with most of the cast, on a freezing cold, rainy December afternoon, and sat in a theatre, more empty than full, where the heater did not work, and just marveled at what Patrick could do. He was still mostly on book back then, but he was still amazing. It’s been so exciting for me to watch the evolution of this work, because I feel like I was there at the very beginning…well, I guess I was there at the very beginning…but you get the idea.
I got to take Anne and the kids backstage to meet him, which was really kind of odd…there were all these people, excited to meet him, waiting in a long line…it just struck me as so odd that I was waiting in a line to see one of my friends…but I didn’t mind, in the least. When we did get into the Green Room, Patrick was talking to everyone, and, I swear, each person he talked to was made to feel like they were the only ones there, including me and my family. It was really, really cool.

A Christmas Auction

Boy, the eBay auction has drawn much more attention than I thought it would. As of the last check, 2735 people had viewed it, and the bidding was up to $132.50! I’ve gotten lots of requests, in email, for more auctions, so I’ll put up a picture from Stand By Me later today. Thank you to everyone who is interested…watching the bidding is really exciting for me, in a totally dorky way. 🙂

A Christmas Miracle

Finally, loren got MT and GM working last night, so I’m awaiting help from the GM gurus to get my old entries recovered. I’m really excited to bring all the old entries back. There are stories in there that I really like, and stuff that I’m really proud of, and I’m very hopeful that we’ll get it back. I tell you, it’s been so damn frustrating, the past week or so, trying to get this stuff working, and not being able to figure it out…I finally broke down and asked for help. Yep, you read that correctly, Mr. “I have to do it myself, give me the scalpel so I can remove this lesion from my face” asked for help.
Thank you, Loren. I mean it. 🙂