Home At Last

Hey gang. I’m back home from my wife’s birthday trip to Tahoe.
Holy crap, we had so much fun. If many of you were noticing that, in the last few days, you haven’t been having any fun, it’s our fault. We were having, to quote my step-son, “all the fun!”
There’s too much to put up now, because, even though I’ve been in the car for nine hours, I’m getting ready to have a meeting with Roger Avary about The Rules Of Attraction. Hopefully, when I return tonight, I’ll be able to tell you all about our trip, including:

And I’ll be able to slip in some really good news, somthing along the lines of “I got a cool part in the movie!”
So be good, and Uncle Willie will tell you a story when he gets back.
And a big “thanks!” (That’ll be really funny once you see Lifegame) to the 7 of my beloved friends who sent me email while I was gone.
–Wil

Vacation

I know this is going to upset you, but somehow I know you’ll find a way to struggle through… your Uncle Willie is heading out of town for a week, and won’t have net access.
Okay, okay, stop your cryin’, or I’ll give you something to cry about!
It’s Mrs. Uncle Willie’s birthday, and we’re heading up to fabulous Lake Tahoe with the kids and the dog. Sounds great, right?
Hold on a sec…we’re going up there in …a minivan.
That’s right. A mini-van. We had to rent a bigger car, so we could fit all our crap and the Ferris’ crate…and rather than get something sort of cool like a lame SUV, we got a mini-van. I’m driving for 8 hours in a minivan.
I am so lame.
Let’s talk about minivans for a second, shall we? Is there another mode of transportation, not regularly used by the Amish, that is more lame? When I see a minivan, I think, “That person’s just given up. they’ve reached their goal in life of having the 3.5 kids, the dog and the coveted PTA membership.”
There’s nothing more sad to me than seeing some dude, who you can tell used to be cool, or some woman, who was probably a hottie at one time, behind the wheel of a Ford Aerostar, the bumper covered with a protective layer of “my kid was the student of the month” bumper stickers, the windows smeared with greasy little kid handprints, and the sad, mournful sound of “Radio Disney” blaring out of the open windows.
The mini-van that we got is the Dodge Caravan. It’s the one with the easily removable seats. Last night, Anne and I were moving the seats out, and it was much easier than I thought it would be, and I caught myself thinking “This is kinda cool”….suddenly, and without warning, I screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” My wife looked at me, terror in her eyes, and asked what was wrong.
“I thought, for a millisecond, that there was something cool about this van.”
My wife walked around the minivan, came close to me, and punched me full in the mouth.
“Don’t ever think something like that again.”
“Thank you.”
So I won’t be able to update the site, obviously, and all that stuff that I wanted to do before I left town, like get the new site up and running, and opening the store and all that won’t happen until I get home.
But! Have no fear! I have a cool site for you to check out until I get back. It’s called “Killoggs“. It’s a very cool blogging site, created by the amazing bendependent and loren
Have a great weekend and week, and play nice. Don’t make me turn this minivan around, because I’ll do it.

Comments!

Hey kids. I am working really hard on getting the new site up, but it’s a lot harder than I thought.
Just part of being lame, I guess. But have no fear! I’m off the the book store to get a new HTML book. Hopefully, one which will actually help, rather than confuse.
Failing that, I’m gonna bite the bullet and resort to using frontpage.
Relax, Mae Ling…
But here is some cool news! I think I’ve gotten it set up so anyone can comment on my ramblings here.
Have fun, kids.
Wil

Screenshots

You must go here. Right now.

Auditions

Tuesday was my step-son’s 12th birthday.
It was also the first time in 3 months that I’d had an audition. (Apparently, a bunch of jackass producers, working for vertically integrated, multi-national media conglomerates were afraid that the writer’s guild and the screen actor’s guild may want to stop work, so that we can all make a living wage, so they didn’t “green light” any new projects. Go figure.
So, things have been tough the past few months. Money has been tight, and I’ve been super bored. If I hadn’t had my kick ass sketch comedy show to look forward to, I probably would have ended up on the sidewalk in front of the Viper Room.
Just kidding. Jeeze, lighten up.
So the first call is at 11:15 am, to be a regular on this WB show called “The Young Person’s Guide To Being A Rockstar”. It’s to play a gay drummer. (Why does everyone think I’m gay?). The second call is at 4:45 pm, for a movie called “waiting…”, that is just about the funniest ^%$#ing script I’ve read in over a year.
So, I’m completely excited, but I’m torn, too, since I have way too much free time right now, and I would like to work. (You know, actors are the only people who are unhappy when they’re not working. Unlike most “normal” people, who can’t wait for a break from work…) The only problem was, Tuesday was Ryan’s birthday, and I was really torn about what to do. I need to work, and I really like both of these projects, but I really wanted to be part of Ryan’s 12th birthday party, which was a trip to the beach with some of his friends.
So I went over and over it, and made the tough choice to take the auditions, and see Ryan that evening.
Well, on my way to the first audition, I got a call from my agent, and she told me that the afternoon session was cancelled! So I went from my first audition (Where I kicked ass, thank you very much- I’m told that I’m “in the mix” which is hollywoodspeak for “we’re considering you”) to the beach. I must have been quite the vision in my jeans, skechers and black socks, walking down the sand.
Long story short, it was awesome. We skim boarded, played football and wiffleball, and barbecued hot dogs in the parking lot, which was majorly against the beach parking lot rules (yes! breakin’ the law! breakin’ the law!).
When we got back, I had email waiting for me from my friend Roger Avary. Roger is one of the coolest people on earth, and a fucking rad writer and director. (yes, that’s right, I have a potty mouth. Deal.) Roger won an Academy Award for writing “Pulp Fiction”, and is pretty much responsible for everything good the Tarantino has ever taken credit for. Roger also wrote and directed my absolute favorite movie that I’ve ever worked on, Mr. Stitch. So to get back to my point: I emailed Roger, because he’s doing a new movie, and I asked him if I could be in it, because he is the most fun director EVER, and always makes good movies. So he emails me back, and tells me, “of course” and sends me the script (which ^%[email protected]*ing ROCKS, by the way) and we’re hooking up this week.
So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.
That’s all for right now, kids. I’m going back to work on the new, improved, easy-to-remember website!
How about some email for your uncle willy?