Category: blog

Remember when we were younger, and we’d start planning our Friday nights on Tuesday?
Remember those big plans, to go out to a club, or a concert, or a show, and find some hot member of the opposite sex, and take them home?
Yeah, me neither.
But now that we’re older, our Friday night plans usually go something like this:

• heat up leftovers
• start laundry
• clean up kitchen
• move laundry from washer to dryer
• clean up living room
• take burned dinner out of oven
• curse at oven
• order dinner
• open bottle of wine, so it can “breathe” before dinner gets here
• vaccuum family room
• pour glass of wine while waiting
• clean bathroom
• pour second glass of wine
• call boss, give him a piece of my mind
• get into argument on internet
• yell at delivery guy for taking two $#!ing hours to deliver my lasagna, which is now cold
• pour third glass of wine
• pour fourth glass of wine
• fall into sad, nostalgic stupor watching Wacky Races on Boomerang
• pass out ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H go to sleep

Sound familiar? Want to return to the days when we were crazy and free? The days when we’d actually go out on a Friday night, because, goddammit, we were young and free?
Hell yeah!!
Well, I’ve got something for you, chucky: If you live in or near Los Angeles, and you don’t know what to do for your Friday night, you can come and see me, Wil Wheaton, live and in person, on the J. Keith vanStraaten show!!
Tonight’s guests include Bruno Kirby, comedian John O’Donnell, and kickass band Blockage.
The show is always insanely fun, and I’d love to meet any WWDN readers who come over to see us.
We are at the ACME Comedy Theatre, and the show starts at 10 PM. There are only 6 shows this season, so time is already running out. You can get information on reservations and ticket prices from Keith’s website.
Now, if you’re not in or near Los Angeles, of you’re just afraid to leave the house without your Tinfoil Hat, I have another thing that you can do tonight: you can stay home, safe and secure, and watch my sister, Amy, on First Monday, tonight at 9PM on CBS.
Now how about that? Who else on the internet helps plan out your Friday night Social Calendar?
Nobody, that’s who.
Except for your old pal Uncle Willie, because he cares.

Yesterday, I finally got some new headshots done. They should be back from the lab next week.
I’ve been using the same headshot for years, and it’s really been time for a new one for quite awhile…but the thing is, I absolutely hate having my picture taken.
I bet that seems weird, what with me being an actor, and all, but it’s true. I’d much rather be holding the camera than posing for it. Unless I’m posing for some midget porn, so I can get on the Kevin and Bean Show.
But yesterday was different. The photographer was really awesome, and we approached it from a more creative place, and it was more like working on a short film. I’m very excited to see the results next week.
Guess what I got in the mail? A whole buncha CDs! Some old blues records, and some amazing Bob Marley records. If you listen to reggae, you owe it to yourself to pick up the deluxe edition of Exodus! A big thank you to the cool guys who sent me awesome music.
Speaking of awesome music, I have gotten tons of emails today about WILLIAM FUCKING SHATNER’S Blog. The general tone of the emails is that he’s ripping me off…but I don’t think that’s the case, at all. I mean, I wasn’t the first person to write a weblog, and I’m certainly not the best.
If he really wrote it, I think it would be really cool…but I doubt that it’s really him. If it is, I suspect that it’s heavily edited. Tsumo at metafilter said, I really can’t imagine Shatner overtaking Wil in popularity any time soon. There’s just a completely different… feel… to Shatner’s site. ‘Overproduced’ would the be word that comes to mind. Wheaton’s is just down-home fanboyish and a lot more fun to read. Shatner’s entry felt so polished and professional that I can’t help it was passed by half a dozen copy editors on its way to the website.”

On the other hand, Michael Moore (who is going to be in Los Angeles from today until Friday! I get to see him on Friday! Weeeeee!) is keeping a weblog, and he really does write it, and I think it’s awesome.
One final thing, before I head off to work: A friend of ours, Amanda, occasionally babysits for Ryan and Nolan. Amanda is incredibly smart, very driven, honest, caring, and just an all-around good person, who really deserves all the good things in life. Well, I heard last night that she got accepted into USC, and maybe even into Occidental, too. Congratulations, Amanda! You deserve it!
Oh! I taught Ryan how to juggle last night, because they’re doing a medieval day at his school, and he’s dressing up as a court jester. It was really awesome. My relationship with Ryan has always been at arm’s length, because I haven’t ever wanted to force myself into his life…but in the last 2 months or so he’s really made major efforts to come to me, and close that gap. It’s wonderful.
Thought for today:

“If we wish to secure peace for ourselves, we must start by championing it for others.”

I am so damn handy. Today, I replaced a messed up sensor light which hangs on my garage. Turned the power off and everything. Then I replaced a fixture in the kitchen, and turned my sights on this area under the kitchen window where nothing will grow.
I “planted” 30 pounds of black river stones over the dirt, until I can think of something better to put there.
I was so damn handy around the house, I told my wife to turn on the porno music, because I was comin’ inside, “to get a drink”.
Well, it’s all true except that last part. I wasn’t coming in for a drink! Oh yeah! Yeah baby! Woo!!
Wait. Wait.
That’s not true, either. I came in for a sandwich, and then we went back to Home Despot for more hardware and stuff.
See, the thing is, we’ve lived in our house for 2 years, and we haven’t taken care of any of the things we said we’d take care of when we moved in: the lawn still looks like shit, the ugly wood paneling is still on the walls in the living room and family room, and the ugly brass lamp hangs over the dining room table.
But all of that is about to change. Thanks to the sense of empowerment we got today when I hung that damn light fixture, all by my self, in my big-boy pants, Anne and I have made…A List(tm).
That’s right, folks, A List(tm). On this list is everything we want to do to our house, how much it will cost, and when we’re going to work it out.
Next on the list? Rent a roto-tiller, tear up the ugly-ass lawn, rake out the lumps, dig trenches, install sprinklers, and lay down sod.
Sounds expensive, doesn’t it? It’s not. We can do the whole thing for about 50 cents a square foot, total. Because we’re doing it ourselves, we’ll be saving literally thousands of dollars (which we don’t have, anyway…but I’m hiring Arthur Andersen as my new accountant…I’m an overnight millionaire!)
Once that is done, we will focus our attention on the ugly 1970s-homemade-porn-backdrop-style wood paneling which is currently offending all standards of good taste by hanging in not 1, but 3 rooms in our house.
There’s a rumor that I’m going to have Gallery up and running very, very soon, as well…so that means lots of before and after pictures of our rooms…and pictures of my handyman butt crack.

The past few days, I’ve been in sort of a funk, and I haven’t really been able to put my finger on exactly what it is.
Until tonight.
I was talking about it with Anne tonight while we were folding our clothes, and I think we puzzled it out: it feels to me like the world is just…well, it’s just falling apart.
I don’t know if you’re hearing this if you live out of California, but a 7 year old girl was kidnapped from her own bedroom, about a month ago. Yesterday, they found a body, and today they identified it as hers. I can’t stop thinking about the incredible pain and loss that her parents are feeling, right now. I mean, jesus christ, if your kids aren’t safe in their own freaking beads, where are they safe? What the F*** happened?!
I turn on the television, and the Israleis and Palestinians are blowing the shit out of each other, every chance they get, it’s 90 degrees in FEBRUARY, and people rejoice, rather than think about the fact that maybe it’s like this from global warming and pollution. As I wrote recently, there’s a potentially innocent man about to be executed down in Missourri, one of who knows how many innocents currently facing the death penalty. Thousands of people lost EVERYTHING because of the greed and hubris of Ken Lay and the rest of Enron, and we all know that they’ll probably get away with it.
And if all that isn’t enough, I hear that there’s a sequel to Battlefield Earth in the works.
I could go on and on, but I think you get what I’m going for, here.
It’s so weird, because as recently as a few days ago, I was feelin’ just fine…but something about the kidnap and murder of this completely innocent child has made something snap inside of me, and my glass is suddenly half-empty.
Am I alone, here? Am I the only one who reads the paper, listens to NPR, and thinks that something is terribly, terribly wrong?
Sorry to be such a downer…but there are a lot of smart, thoughtful people who read the old WWDN, and I bet we’ll all figure some stuff out, if we talk about it.
Thought for today:

“Everybody wants a happy life.”

I’m sitting at work, decompressing from the infuriating 100 minute commute (to cover the vast distance of 27 miles — thank you Los Angeles for your oh-so-useful mass transit system that is currently useless to me).
I’m supposed to be writing for my show, but, seriously, I’m so dang frustrated from the drive, that I’m taking a few minutes for myself to catch my breath and settle down.
I gotta stop drinking coffee when I drive, too…and I shouldn’t listen to democracy now. It just gets me all riled up.
Couple of things: I really enjoyed reading the trash-talking and back-slapping that went on in the last two posts. I’m happy to see that there are other people around who know what and what not to take too seriously…and if you think I got worked up about hockey, just you wait until baseball season starts. I’m calling out all the Giant fans right now. Now that I think of it, wouldn’t it be cool to do a WWDN fantasy baseball league, at Yahoo? I’ve played in those the last two seasons, and it’s really really fun. I’ll add that to the TODO list.
Drew, from FARK, who has become a sort-of friend of mine, is doing this really cool thing, that you should all check out.
If you live in or near the City of Angels, and you enjoy your old pal Wil Wheaton, and you enjoy the live theatre, you can come and see the two combined, starting in two weeks, because my friend Keith and I are kicking off a whole new season of the J.Keith vanStraaten show!! I’m really, really excited about this season, and I sure hope that lots of WWDN readers will come out, see the funny, and then introduce themselves after the show. Unless, of course, you’re a freakin’ weirdo. Then I’d prefer you go see shows at The Groundlings.
Heh.
Ahh…I feel much better now, thanks to the cathartic process of writing, and the soothing sounds of Catherine Wheel, who give us this entry’s title.
I hope you all have a wonderful day!