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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Category: Books

in which we combine wil wheaton, books, and beer. (mmmm … beer.)

Posted on 15 July, 2009 By Wil

Last year, I went to the Stone Brewing World Bistro and Gardens for an event they call Book and a Beer. It's pretty much what it sounds like: I read from my book while people drank beer. Then I signed my books while I drank beer. Then I ate dinner and had some more beer. Then we drove around looking for another seafood restaurant. Then we went fishing.

I had a lot of fun, filled a lot of growlers with Arrogant Bastard, Double dry-hopped IPA, Barleywine, and some other stuff I'm told I really enjoyed not sharing with the rest of the class a few days later. In fact, I had so much fun, I'm going back next week to do it all again … only this time, IT'S PERSONAL!

Wait. That's not what I was going to say. I mean, yes, it's personal, but that's not what's awesome about this time. What's awesome about this time is that I'm just the opening act for Rifftrax! They're doing The Matrix: The One That Really Sucks Out Loud And Makes You Want To Punch Babies. (No, not that one, the other one.) For the six of you who don't know: Rifftrax is a few of the guys from MST3K doing that thing they do so well, only this time they're doing it LIVE. I think it's safe to say that it'll be awesome.

I start at 6pm. I plan to read for either 20 or 40 minutes, depending on how many people show up, and what they're in the mood to hear me read. I'll be prepared with stuff from Happiest Days of Our Lives, and stuff from Memories of the Future. I'll also be prepared to stare into an empty space, wipe a single tear from my eye, and go drown my sorrows in beer. (That, by the way, is one of my default settings and is not specific to this event. It is a class feature, if you will.)

I plan to bring a few copies of some of my books with me, but due to bad planning, I'm very low on stock at the moment, and the string is all in three-inch lengths. However, if you come to the Bistro with your own copies of my books, I'll be happy to sign them for you. I will also sign …other things… within reason.

MY DETAILS! LET ME SHOW YOU THEM:

What: Wil Wheaton reads to you while you drink beer.
Why: Really?
When: Thursday July 23rd, 6pm-8pm.
Where: Stone Brewing World Bistro and Gardens
Address: 1999 Citricado Pkwy. Escondido, CA 92029

Pleasepleasepleaseplease come and hang out. It'll be a lot of fun, I promise. If you are coming, would you sort of RSVP in the comments?

the clockwork century

Posted on 14 July, 2009 By Wil

A few months ago, I got an ARC of my friend Cherie's forthcoming Steampunk book, Boneshaker. I've raved about it all over the place, so allow me to just sum up without repeating myself too much: it's awesome. I loved everything about it, and I can't wait for it to come out so the rest of the world can read it an understand why I loved it as much as I did. (See an early version of the cover here.)

Boneshaker is one of four stories that are all set in this cool steampunk alternate history world that Cherie calls The Clockwork Century. I just read on Cherie's Livejournal that she created a website for that world, which is cleverly called TheClockworkCentury.com. She says:

The Clockwork Century
will be updated periodically with artwork from the series, including
maps and future book covers, publication and release information,
progress on upcoming projects, and anything else even marginally
pertinent to the universe.

If I may channel my inner Flounder for just a moment: "This is going to be great!"


time to write

Posted on 24 June, 2009 By Wil

Working on Leverage inspired and stirred up all those weird things in my brain that make me an artist. In an effort to maintain the creative momentum I experienced while working on the show, I went directly from wrapping my episode to working on this series of short stories I’ve wanted to write for a long time, but for one reason or another never developed past the beat sheet.

I have a routine that goes something like this: I get up between 8 and 9, grab some coffee, and read some news. About 40 minutes later, I eat breakfast, and then I start writing for anywhere between 4 and 5 hours, usually until hunger drives me away from my desk.

The thing is, it’s not non-stop writing for all that time. There’s a lot of thinking, a lot of wandering around (mentally and physically) and more than a little bit of goofing off online while I try to stay out of my brain’s way long enough for it to cough up the ideas. It’s easy to feel like I’m not really working, and I’m sure it would appear that way to the average observer.

In today’s Los Angeles Times, writer J. Robert Lennon wrote an amusing and very truthful column about exactly what it is we do when we’re writing.

Ask a writer what she values most in her creative life, and she is likely to respond, “Time to write.” Not many of us have the luxury of writing full- time; we have spouses, families, day jobs. To the people closest to the writer, “writing time” may seem like so much self-indulgence: Why should we get to sit around thinking all day? Normal people don’t require hour after continuous hour of solitude and silence. Normal people can be flexible.

And yet, we writers tell our friends and children, there is nothing more sacrosanct, more vital to our intellectual and emotional well-being, than writing time. But we writers have a secret.

We don’t spend much time writing.

There. It’s out. Writers, by and large, do not do a great deal of writing. We may devote a large number of hours per day to writing, yes, but very little of that time is spent typing the words of a poem, essay or story into a computer or scribbling them onto a piece of paper.

Maybe it’s a little too “inside baseball,” to be as funny to normal people as it is to me, but I totally relate to everything he says. In fact, I need extra time to write, so I’m taking June and July off from my columns to write fiction, and get Memories of the Future and the Subterranean Press edition of Happiest Days out the door (Happiest has been held up by me; I had a technology problem that seriously cockblocked me on my edit, and then I couldn’t find some important stuff to go in the book, but finally found it about two weeks ago. Those of you who pre-ordered and are tired of waiting shouldn’t direct your hate-lasers at Subterranean, and should instead focus them on me.)

Lennon eventually says:

The truth, of course, is that writers are always working. When you ask a writer a direct question, and he smiles and nods and then says “Well!” and turns and walks away without saying goodbye, he is actually working.

If a writer is giving you a ride to the bus station and pulls up in front of the supermarket and turns to you and says, “Enjoy your trip!,” she is actually working.

I have to apologize to Anne all the time, because while we may be in the same location, physically, my mind is frequently off in some other place, its hands filled with soft mental clay that it hopes to shape into something recognizable. There’s a line in Stand By Me where Gordie’s son tells his friend that his dad gets weird when he’s writing. I’ve heard my own kids say that, and if I can confess something real quick … it always makes me happy to hear that.

While I worked on Leverage, I had a beer with John Rogers almost every night after wrap. We talked about all kinds of stuff, from D&D to comics to our wives to working in the entertainment industry. At least once a night, John would point out how lucky we are to have jobs where we get paid to make stuff up and entertain people. I couldn’t agree with him more.

great flash fiction from escape pod

Posted on 2 June, 2009 By Wil

I loved this story at Escape Pod:

“Hey, tell me, this look like Jesus to you?”

I come to Tito’s Tacos for a lot of reasons. The freeway overpass
ambience, the way the old men in the kitchen wrap the burritos tighter
than Cuban cigars, the shiny Kennedy 50-cent pieces you always get as
part of your change. A lot of reasons. But conversation isn’t among
them. Nonetheless, I dutifully look up from my lunch to see what the
guy at the next table over is talking about.

It's flash fiction, so it's just three minutes long. If you can find three minutes today and spend them listening to this story, I think you'll be glad you did.

ETA: I didn't know this when I posted earlier (the joys of quickly posting while I'm on a deadline) but I should point out that Taco was written by Greg van Eekhout, who has a recently-released novel called Norse Code that's getting some nice reviews. Greg says, "You can find some preview chapters online: chapter 1 at Tor.com, chapter 2 at Suvudu, and chapter 3 at Suvudu"

serve the servants

Posted on 1 June, 2009 By Wil

My friend Otis wrote, "I’m in one of those stupid cycles where nothing is quite interesting
enough for a blog post. I’m not getting out much for obvious reasons
and home life is fairly rote (except for the parts that aren’t)."

I sure am glad he wrote that, because I've been feeling this weird, uninspired malaise for weeks, and I haven't quite been able to identify exactly why until just now: I've been so busy finishing Memories of the Future, I haven't been getting out and doing anything that's interesting enough to warrant more than a passing mention on Twitter. Boy, am I relieved to know that it's not me, it's just my life that's boring at the moment. (Or, um, something like that. That sounded funnier in my head. Anyway, moving on…)

Otis and I are alike in a lot of ways, and often say that I'm the West Coast version of him, and he's the East Coast version of me. The obvious reasons he referred to are all related to the recent birth of his second child, and while my reasons are similar, they are also profoundly different: the child I've been caring for is a bunch of words in a manuscript, not an actual human being in a crib. It's a comparison that probably seems presumptuous and wildly inappropriate to normal people, but if you've ever done work that's creatively demanding, I think you'll be able to understand the parallel.

Speaking of creatively demanding work: Around the middle of the day on Friday, I finally finished all the major rewriting and editing on Memories of the Future, and sent it off to Andrew for judicious application of his Red Pen of Doom. I still need to write the introduction and the acknowledgments, but I think I'm going to put that off for a day or two, because I seriously need to recharge if I want that stuff to be written from a point of view that's enthusiastic and celebratory, not worn down and exhausted.

Before I save this, I wanted to share something I came across this morning that's incredibly valuable for writers. From Ken Levine's blog: What do you do when you get stuck?

This happens often as you write your script or novel. You come to a
point where you think you’ve written yourself into a corner. A plot
point requires something and you just can’t get there. Wait
a minute, he can’t swim to safety; he’s in a wheelchair. Exactly how is
she going to get to the Pope to sell him Girl Scout cookies?

This is one of the benefits of a being in a partnership – sometimes he can solve it.

But when working alone, here are four handy tips…

And now, I'm off to write this week's column for the LA Daily. I'm looking forward to that, because there's an arcade machine involved.

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