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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Category: Current Affairs

I don’t feel safe. I feel violated, humiliated, and angry.

Posted on 6 April, 2011 By Wil

Yesterday, I was touched — in my opinion, inappropriately — by a TSA agent at LAX.

I'm not going to talk about it in detail until I can speak with an attorney, but I've spent much of the last 24 hours replaying it over and over in my mind, and though some of the initial outrage has faded, I still feel sick and angry when I think about it.

What I want to say today is this: I believe that the choice we are currently given by the American government when we need to fly is morally wrong, unconstitutional, and does nothing to enhance passenger safety.

I further believe that when I choose to fly, I should not be forced to choose between submitting myself to a virtually-nude scan (and exposing myself to uncertain health risks due to radiation exposure)1, or enduring an aggressive, invasive patdown where a stranger puts his hands in my pants, and makes any contact at all with my genitals.

When I left the security screening yesterday, I didn't feel safe. I felt violated, humiliated, assaulted, and angry. I felt like I never wanted to fly again. I was so furious and upset, my hands shook for quite some time after the ordeal was over. I felt sick to my stomach for hours.

This is wrong. Nobody should have to feel this way, just so we can get on an airplane. We have fundamental human and constitutional rights in America, and among those rights is a reasonable expectation of personal privacy, and freedom from unreasonable searches. I can not believe that the TSA and its supporters believe that what they are doing is reasonable and appropriate. Nobody should have to choose between a virtually-nude body scan or an aggressive, invasive patdown where a stranger puts his or her hands inside your pants and makes any contact at all with your genitals or breasts as a condition of flying.

I do not have the luxury of simply refusing to fly unless and until this policy changes. I have to travel dozens of times a year for work, and it simply isn't practical to travel any other way. Airlines know that I am not unique in this regard, so they have no incentive to take a stand on their customers' behalf. Our government also knows this, so our Congressmen and Congresswomen have no incentive to stand up for the rights and freedoms of their constituencies against powerful and politically-connected lobbyists like the former head of the TSA. This is also wrong.

I have to travel back into the USA next week, and I'll be back and forth between Los Angeles and Vancouver for much of the next several months. When I think about all this travel, I feel helpless, disempowered, and victimized by the airlines and the TSA … and I'm one of the lucky passengers who has never been sexually assaulted. I can't imagine what it must feel like for someone who has been the victim of sexual violence to know that they are faced with the same two equally-unacceptable choices that I faced yesterday, and will likely face whenever I fly in the future.

It's fundamentally wrong that any government can force its citizens to submit to totally unreasonable searches so we have the "freedom" to travel. It is fundamentally wrong that the voices of these same citizens are routinely ignored, our feelings marginalized, and our concerns mocked.

I don't know what we can do to change this, but we must do something. I'm writing letters to all of my congressional representatives, contacting an attorney, and reaching out to the ACLU when I get home. I am not optimistic that anything will change, because I feel like the system is institutionally biased against individuals like me … but maybe if tens of thousands of travelers express our outrage at this treatment, someone will be forced to listen.

Edit to add one more thing: I don't believe that all TSA officersare automatically bad people (though we've seen that at least some are.) For example, I recently flew out of Seattle, opted-out, and got a non-invasive, professional, polite patdown. It was still annoying, but at least my genitals weren't touched in any way, which was decidedly not the case yesterday. I realize that most TSA officers are doing the best they can in a job that requires them to interact with people who automatically dislike them and what they represent. It isn't the individual officer who is the problem; it's the policies he or she is instructed to carry out that need to change.

1. The TSA recently admitted that the amount of radiation passengers are exposed to in backscatter scanners was 10 times more than they originally claimed. The TSA claims that the scanners are still safe, but what else would we expect them to claim?

Direct Relief for Japan

Posted on 15 March, 2011 By Wil

One of my favorite webcomics is Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. Zach Weiner cracks me up every day, and a lot of his jokes are just science-y and geeky enough to make me feel smart when I laugh at them.

In today's post, he writes:

Hey geeks. No doubt you've heard a lot about the Japanese tsunami. We're now hearing reports of coastal cities losing 15% or more of their population. Imagine 1 in 7 people in your town dying violently in a 24 hour period.

Direct Relief, which has a very good rating for spending most of their money on relief (as opposed to administration and promotion) have a setup where you can choose to give to Japan. Remember, this is the country that gave us Samurai, Ninjas, dirty cartoons, and Godzilla.

I think it's reasonable for a lot of people to have Disaster Fatigue right now, as we watch disaster after disaster strike all over the world. But like LeVar Burton said on Twitter, we have to fight Disaster Fatigue and do what we can to help.

Just think about what Zach wrote, and try to imagine what tens of thousands of people are suffering through right now. There are a lot of us, so I'm sure that, together, just a few bucks at a time, we can make a difference for them. Please do what you can.

in remembrance of Dwayne McDuffie

Posted on 24 February, 2011 By Wil

Last night, I met my friend Amy Berg (who created Cha0s on Leverage, and brought me into Eureka as Dr. Parrish) down in Hollywood for dinner. Traffic was horrible (surprise) so she'd been waiting almost 20 minutes when I finally walked into the restaurant. 

While I scanned the crowd to find her, a familiar voice broke through the cacaphony of diners and 90s rock that filled the room. "They'll let anyone in here, I guess."

I turned toward the voice, and saw my friend Yuri with his wife Tara and one of their friends. As it turned out, Amy had chosen a table that was right next to theirs, and though she knew Yuri via Twitter, didn't realize that she had been sitting next the The Amazing Yuri Lowenthal, Close Personal Friend of Me Wil Wheaton. We all talked for a few minutes, and then sort of retreated to our own tables and conversations, separated as they were by just a few feet.

Shortly after we finished eating, the restaurant kicked us all out to make way for a private karaoke party, so we walked next door to this cantina for a beer.

While we waited for our drinks to arrive, we talked about writers and writing. Just as our drinks were put down, Yuri said, "Speaking of great writers and great writing, I'd like to toast to Dwayne McDuffie."

We held our glasses up and were silent for a moment. "To Dwayne," I said. We clinked glasses, took a sip, and set them down.

"That was a good call, Yuri," I said, and took a couple of deep breaths so I wouldn't dilute my beer with tears.

For those who don't know, Dwayne McDuffie died suddenly this week, from what I understand were complications following emergency heart surgery. Many people who know of Dwayne's work knew him as a truly outstanding comic creator whose legacy is felt throughout the comic industry by creators and readers alike.

I knew Dwayne because I worked with him on Teen Titans around 2003. Recently, I'd worked for Dwayne and Titans creator Glenn Murakami on Ben Ten: Alien Force. I didn't know him as well as I wanted to, because the nature of animation puts a thick pane of soundproof glass between the actors and writers and producers, and the nature of television leaves little time for hanging out once the work is actually done. 

What precious little time I did spend with him, though, was awesome. Dwayne was kind, he was supportive, he was incredibly creative, and he genuinely loved what he did. He loved to talk about comics with me, frequently asked me what I was reading, and if I could suggest anything for him to pick up. He always took a moment or two to thank me for coming in to play Aqualad or DarkStar, and whenever I left the studio he told me, "I'll see you next time," because he was always looking for ways to bring me back into his shows.

Dwayne was Good People, and everyone who worked with him loved him. When I found out — via Twitter, no less — that he had died, I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach and submerged in ice water. It's been three days, now, since I heard, and I still have a knot in my stomach that doesn't seem all that interested in going anywhere very soon.

I'm having a hard time fully accepting that I'm not going to see Dwayne next time, so maybe you'll join me in a moment of silence and rememberance for a truly great person, who gave the world many wonderful things.

Here's to you, Dwayne. Thank you for everything.

various items including: hunter, marketplace, batman, and a show with paul and storm

Posted on 16 February, 2011 By Wil

Various items that may be relevant to your interests begin … NOW!

* I talked to the Marketplace Tech Report recently, and our two interviews are now online.

I'm sure it will surprise you to learn that I'm a huge NPR geek, so getting to talk to John Moe for Marketplace (I did my side of the converstaion from KPCC) was pretty cool.

* I am doing a show at Largo with Paul and Storm on Tuesday, March 29th! I'm going to perform stories with and without musical accompaniment, and Paul and Storm are going to play music. Then we'll sing about pirates for two hours. Los Angeles always asks me to do a show, and then nobody ever shows up when I do one here. Don't fucking let me down, Los Angeles; I'm getting tired of defending you to Chicago.

* I know I'm way late to the party on this, but I've been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum recently. It's sort of like being in control of an episode of the Batman animated series, but there are a couple of things that keep taking me out of the experience.

First, there is just way too much backtracking. I really hate it when games do this, because it feels like a cheap way to make a game appear longer than it is, and it's just boring. I already did the complicated zipline batclaw jumpglide across the poison gas room thing, guys. I don't need to do it again.

Second, It's incredibly fun to pretend that I'm Batman, but it's a little silly that I my progress is constantly thwarted by 5-foot high brick walls. And by a little, I mean goddamn fucking ridiculous. I AM THE GODDAMN BATMAN FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Still, those complaints aside, it's a lot (or alot, if you prefer) of fun. Beating up on bad guys requires timing and precision, so it doesn't turn into a button masher (you can try that, if you want, but you won't get very far). There are also two extra games that parallell the main storyline where you try to solve puzzles posed by The Riddler, and you try to find these tablets that reveal the history of Arkham Asylum.

Huh. I just sort of reviewed the game without meaning to. I guess I should grade it, then: B-

* I think it's really important that the story of HBGary, Bank of America, Wikileaks and The Chamber of Commerce doesn't die. This is serious ratfucking and is pretty much a perfect example of the war the ultra-rich and powerful are successfully waging against the middle class in America.

* Digital: A Love Story is a computer mystery romance that is set "five minutes into the future in 1988". You read it by using an emulator that looks an awful lot like the Amiga, and it recreates the old BBS experience when 2400 baud was all the baud we needed. The story unfolds via messages. It's just amazing.

* A friend of Anne's makes and sells organic, eco-friendly clothing with positive messages. I really love it, and from time to time I remind the Internet about it, so people will check it out and tell their friends. It's called Capable Arts. Tell them Wil sent you. 

* Many people have asked how HUNTER is selling. Without getting into specifics, I'm delighted that so many people have chosen to give me donations for the story. Most are giving between 1 and 5 dollars, and close to one thousand readers have paid for the story. I stupidly set it up in a way that doesn't let me track individual downloads, so I have no idea what the ratio of downloads to customers is. The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, and I'm inclined to revisit the world at least once in the future. I'm calling this a success, and I'll do pay-what-you-want again in the future. 

This goes on its own line because I want to make sure it gets seen: Thank you to everyone who read Hunter, left me feedback about it, paid something for it, and told friends and Internets about it. This wouldn't have been a success without you.

* Finally, Anne found a home for Velvet Wesley Crusher's Moustache:

IMAG0652

a point of clarification

Posted on 2 February, 2011 By Wil

Yesterday, I overheard some twentysomethings complaining about how much they hated their jobs. After a few minutes, it became clear that none of them took high school seriously, and at least a couple of them had dropped out of community college because it was, in their words, "too hard."

I Twittered: If high school was "boring" and college was "too hard", don't complain about your "dead end minimum wage" job, twentysomething.

I got a lot of angry replies from people who thought I was being a dick about people working minimum wage jobs, like I thought I was better than them or something. I think that response would have been entirely justified if that had, in fact, been what I meant, but I think I was misunderstood, so I want to clarify: As I understood it, these kids (I am really Old Man Wheaton, now, referring to 20 year-olds as 'kids') didn't take their education seriously, didn't make any effort to work toward a career, and were complaining that their jobs didn't pay them enough for their minimal effort. The sense of entitlement annoyed me almost as much as some kid with a job – in a time of incredible unemployment – complaining about getting paid to work. (Yeah, I know that complaining about work is as fundamental as eating lunch, but in the time it took my brain to hear it and my fingers to type it, I didn't stop to think about that.)

I didn't mean to be elitist, or condescending, or insulting to anyone who is doing the best they can during some very difficult times, and if I offended or insulted you, I hope you'll accept my apology. I certainly don't think I'm better than you, or anyone else. We all do what we can to support ourselves and our families, if we have them, right?

On the other hand, if you're one of those kids who told me to go fuck myself, get off my lawn and go back to school. Work hard, because nothing worth doing is ever easy, and the more knowledge you have, the more options you have, so you won't have to spend your life in a dead end job that you hate. Trust me, you'll be glad you did. Maybe not now, maybe not in a year, but some time in the Mysterious Future when you're feeling cranky at the Damn Kids Today you'll be able to shake your cane at them with authority.

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