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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Category: Current Affairs

one last time . . .

Posted on 3 November, 2008 By Wil

I want my country back, and I want the despicable campaign of hate, fear, lies, and division run by John McCain and personified by Sarah Palin to be repudiated by a massive Obama win. We can make this happen. The polls all say we’re going to make this happen . . . but I remember 2000 and I remember 2004, and even though the polls say that we vastly outnumber the people who tragically support John McCain, we’ve got to get to the polls and make sure our votes count.

So.
Make sure you get out and vote tomorrow, especially you younger people. You guys are overwhelmingly Democratic (yay!) but you’re also notoriously unreliable (boo!) so if you think you’re going to be in line for a long time and you’re going to get bored, bring a book, bring a DS, bring a PSP, bring a deck of cards, bring your cellphone and liveblog or Twitter the whole thing . . . just don’t get out of line and don’t leave without voting!

Everyone else, if you think it’s not worth waiting a few hours (or several hours) to cast an important vote in a close state, I have two words and one initial for you: George W. Bush.
Also, voter suppression is a terrible fact of life all over our country, and the ACLU has prepared a great resource for all 50 states, with printable sheets you can take with you to know your voting rights wherever you are.

The Voting Rights Project of the ACLU is dedicated to providing citizens with information and assistance in exercising their right to vote! We are urging citizens to ACT this election year. For more information or to voice a voting rights complaint, call 1-877-523-2792 […]

I seriously hope that Obama gets to 270 before the polls close on the West coast, but even if he does, it’s still important to get out and vote in California. We must defeat Proposition 8, and we can’t take anything for granted.

Californians: Vote NO on Prop 8

Posted on 3 November, 2008 By Wil

Proposition 8 and the people who support it disgust me. Want to know why? Replace every instance of “same-sex marriage” with “interracial marriage” and see how bigoted and discriminatory it is.

Here, these guys have done it for you:

I can’t believe it’s 2008, and this is still an issue. Contrary to the lies spread by its supporters, Proposition 8 is not about education, it’s not about forcing anything onto churches, and it’s not about protecting anything. It’s nothing but hate and discrimination, and it’s wrong. If you’re a fellow Californian, please vote no on proposition 8 tomorrow. In polling, it’s very close right now, and every vote is going to count.

ETA: If I wasn’t clear enough, reader swordman69 makes it crystal clear: “One thing to remember, voting NO changes nothing. It doesn’t affect a single thing. Only a yes vote changes what is currently legal here in California. Do we teach same-sex marriage in schools now? NO. Is it affecting you in any way now, NO. Only a yes vote changes anything. A Yes vote puts discrimination into our state constitution.”

stay on target

Posted on 28 October, 2008 By Wil

more fun with twitter

Posted on 15 October, 2008 By Wil

Earlier today, I went into Target to get some storage bins. While I was there, I paid a visit to the Halloween section. Because what I need is more Halloween decorations. Really. I do. Shut up. I do. After looking at the various decorations (mostly meh, but a few cool things) I rounded a corner and looked at the costumes. I saw something that, speaking as a geek and Halloween aficionado, horrified me. I told Twitter:

In the Halloween section, Target tries to pass off what is CLEARLY an Orc Barbarian sword as a “Giant Ninja” sword. I weep for the children.

I mean, seriously. This sort of thing pushes me one step closer to the breaking point.

Anyway, tonight, as the debate ended, I had a related thought:

McCain’s the kinda guy who would sell you an Orc Barbarian sword, and tell you it’s a Giant Ninja sword, my friends.

Please let me share some of the @responses I got, because they made me laugh out loud:

JoeyMcAllister: @wilw Well, he’s a maverorck.

Gygaxis: @wilw McCain is the kind of guy who will finish up your lobster even if you did want the rest.

Rhinehold: @wilw Obama is the kinda guy who would require that all xp was split evenly, even to henchmen, no matter who did what

dallasthegreat: @wilw look, we need to get away from the divisive orc vs. Ninja talking points and tackle the pirate problem.

Lobsticles: @wilw Sarah Palin once saw a sword, so she’s sort of an expert on Giant Ninja Swords.

Spaceman: @wilw yes. Why yes he is. He should be talking about mario plumber.

gamoid: @wilw IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE TAKE THIS

There were tons of hilarious responses in addition to these, but I saved the absolute best for last:

seanmc74: @wilw An old man dispensing swords is no basis for a system of government.

Bravo, seanmc74. I believe you just won yourself an Internets, sir.

REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Posted on 22 September, 2008 By Wil

This was forwarded to me by a friend. It’s important to laugh, when the only other option is to cry.

From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship
with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country
has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of
800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it
would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my
replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you
may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation
movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need
the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these
funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly
under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for
a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the
funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund
account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to
[email protected] so that we may transfer your commission
for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will
respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used
to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

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