Category: Film

boating our software

Posted on By Wil

Yesterday, I started writing a monthly column for Amazon’s End User Blog. For my first column, I looked at a really cool device that’s battling something I call Feature Creep:

…it’s increasingly difficult to find things that do just one thing, and do it very well. I blame this on something I call “Feature Creep” which I suspect comes from too many meetings, too much input from marketing, and not enough product managers and engineers who are willing to stand up and say, “You know what? I don’t think this coffee maker really needs an MP3 player in it. It’s fine just making coffee.”

Feature Creep is everywhere, bloating our software, lengthening our startup times, cluttering up our menus, and draining our batteries, so when I come across something that has successfully resisted it and stayed focused on doing one simple thing very well, I have a little bit of a pants party.

One of the best examples I’ve come across in the last year is the Netflix player from Roku. It’s a tiny little box that streams anything from Netflix’s on-demand library straight into your television, and that’s all it does.

So I’m pretty excited to have an opportunity to do for blog what I used to do for InDigital, and I’m looking forward to examining various gadgets and technology trends in the mysterious future. My column will update on the final Thursday of every month.

(If you missed this on Twitter and don’t know what the title of this post means: I put a really stupid typo into this column that snuck past me and my editor, and I was originally lamenting how feature creep is “boating” our software. Mmmm. Boating. It’s since been corrected, but I can’t help giggling about it.)

one last fistful of Ted Kord interviews

Posted on By Wil

Part deux of my interview with Trekmovie.com is online, so you don’t have to avoid spoilers any more:

TrekMovie.com: The first season can be be brutal.

Wil Wheaton: Yeah. That is why the first season is kind of fun. Some of the episodes are really really bad and a few of the episodes are extremely good, even if you are not grading on a curve. For the most part — we are awkward — we are trying to figure out what our show is about. And you can see how we had so many different writers and creative power struggles while we figured out what we were going to be. We were really lucky we got a chance to do more than one season. If it wasn’t for the incredible cast and writers like Sandy Fries and Tracy Torme, we probably would not have gone past the second season.

TrekMovie.com: I am in the camp that thinks that Michael Piller, and writers like Ron Moore, really saved the show in the third season.

Wil Wheaton: They absolutely did.

TrekMovie.com: I know some don’t like to hear that Gene [Roddenberry] didn’t save the show. I love Gene Roddenberry, but for TNG I think the Michael was the best thing for the show.

Wil Wheaton: Gene had the presence of mind to know he was getting old and he knew that someone who loved Star Trek as much as he did could step in to take the reins. He hand picked Michael. He begged Michael at the end of season three to come back. Michael didn’t want to at first, but Gene said to him “I need you to make this show great, I can’t do it without you” and Michael agreed. And Michael had the open submissions policy, which is how Ron [Moore] came on, with “The Bonding.” I don’t think it is inaccurate or unfair to give Michael a great deal of credit for making Next Generation great, but at the same time I think it is also fair and accurate to acknowledge that it was Gene Roddenberry who had the vision and presence of mind and the foresight to keep Michael Piller on and put him in a position to do what he did.

I also talked to buzz focus about playing Ted Kord, and that’s online, too:

So…. Brave and Bold Batman vs Frank Miller Batman – who would win?

W. Wheaton: (laugh) I don’t know that’s like asking which fruit will taste better an apple or an orange.

Are you also a fan of 70s/80s cartoons?

W. Wheaton: I remember getting up really early on Saturday mornings to watch the old Super Friends cartoons. It was really Challenge of the Super Friends and those old battles of the Legion of Doom that I loved. And I’m exactly the right age for GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats and He-Man.

Thundarr the Barbarian is my favorite cartoon in history. That was before they were allowed to do marketing and merchandising in cartoons. So these guys were like, “let’s tell some cool stories.” And, they did.

You’re involved in so many things, what’s your passion these days?

W. Wheaton: Honestly, it’s spending as much time as I can with my family. My boys are getting older. My oldest son is in college, his brother is a senior in high school and is going to college next year. I am keenly aware how 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week isn’t that much time. More important than anything else is providing for them financially and emotionally.

Finally, I talked to Media Blvd., and got to deliver what ended up being my favorite one-liner of the whole series of interviews (unplanned). See if you can spot it:

Shaun> That’s cool, I grew up on Challenge of the Superfriends. Don’t start me going down that memory lane.

Wil> Are you a Wendy and Marvin kind of guy, or are you a Zan and Jana kind of guy. Wendy and Marvin were lame.

Shaun> I was glad though when Zan and Jana took off, and that damn monkey Gleek, that was always screwing things up.

Wil> I was the right age for Zan and Jana, so I thought that was really funny. They always turned into something. They could have defeated their adversaries, like they were way overpowered for what they actually did with their superpowers. I was exactly the right age, I was born in ’72, so I was like 8 when I was watching that. I thought it was awesome, then I grew up a little bit and there was Wendy and Marvin and Wonderdog. I thought, “They’re dumbing this down!” I was like 11, “They’re dumbing this down for the audience, and they’re insulting my 11 year old intelligence. This is awful, worst episode ever!”

Shaun> I hated the way the Superfriends treated Batman. The only thing they’d show of Batman is the car stopping and picking up Wendy and Marvin, but the dog doesn’t make it into the Batmobile.

Wil> I know, like you’re going to make Batman the chauffeur? Are you serious? I can promise you that that does not happen in Batman: The Brave & The Bold. In Batman: The Brave & The Bold, Batman is awesome, and he is not a ridiculous chauffeur. Batman is nobody’s bitch in Batman: The Brave & The Bold.

Maybe I could have said “Batman: The Brave & The Bold” a few more times in that last answer. I think I really dropped the ball there.

So … I thought there were more, but I’ve either closed the tabs, or I was hopped up on old Foreigner albums and had double vision. I know that three isn’t really a fistful, but I have small fists. So there.

And with that, my friends, I am off to Phoenix for the Phoenix Comicon. I don’t know what kind of internets I’ll have while I’m there, my friends, but if history is any indicator, I’ll be Twittering the hell out of everything, my friends.

Geek in Review: Sci-Fi Guilty Pleasures: Schwarzenegger Edition

Posted on By Wil

Oh man, I had more fun than should be legally allowed while working on this month’s Geek in Review, Sci-Fi Guilty Pleasures: Schwarzenegger Edition:

Long before he was the most dangerously incompetent governor California has ever had, Arnold Schwarzenegger was the biggest action superstar on the planet, and everything he touched turned to box office gold.

Most of my generation first saw him in the title role of 1984’s The Terminator, a movie that was perfectly suited to his, um, acting ability, and (unfortunately for science fiction fans) cemented him in the minds of studio executives as the guy for science fiction movies…and he can be found chewing up cigars and scenery in some of the biggest blockbusters of the 80s and 90s.

In true action star fashion, Schwarzenegger totally overwhelms the roles he plays to the point of self-parody in each one. In the 80s, as a science fiction fan, I hated this, but with the benefit of time and the ability to not take these movies so seriously, I can enjoy them for the guilty pleasures that they are.

For this month’s Geek in Review, I reached into the vault and pulled out a few of the future Governator’s more memorable sci-fi vehicles. To get perspective from the damn kids today, I convinced my 17 year-old son, Nolan, to watch them with me and give me a comment on each one.

Here’s a little excerpt from the Total Recall portion of the column:

Douglas Quaid is a construction worker with the hottest wife on the planet, who wants to fuck him every time he breathes. Because he is some kind of asshole, this dream life isn’t perfect enough for him, and he constantly fantasizes about living on Mars. His entire household budget goes toward keeping his wife’s hair huge, though, so they can’t afford to take an actual trip. Luckily for him, a company called Rekall can implant vacation memories that anyone can afford, so he visits Mars that way. But just visiting Mars isn’t awesome enough, so he tells Rekall to make him a secret agent, throw in some alien artifacts, and a nefarious plot to destroy the planet. He also wants to nail a girl while he’s there who isn’t nearly as sexy as his wife, and is actually kind of skanky. Seriously. Asshole!

Something goes wrong (or does it?) at Rekall, and Quaid finds out that … he’s a secret agent on a mission to Mars, where there are lots of alien artifacts and he’s nailing a girl who isn’t nearly as sexy as his wife. Before we’re done, people try to kill him, he uncovers a nefarious plot, saves the world, and gets the girl –– who isn’t as sexy as his wife. We’re not sure if he’s dreamed the whole thing, but one thing is crystal clear: this guy is an asshole.

Here’s Nolan’s comment on The Running Man: “This movie needs 33% more skin-tight jumpsuits.”

So, yeah, it’s not the most serious column in the world.

As always, the article is SFW, but the rest of the website is delightfully NOT SAFE FOR WORK. You have been warned, so don’t complain to me if you get in trouble.

“He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.”

Posted on By Wil

I’m nowhere close to Hollywood’s “A” list, but when they opened it up to the rest of us, I signed this letter:

Dear SAG Board Members, officers and staff:

We feel very strongly that SAG members should not vote to authorize a strike at this time. We don’t think that an authorization can be looked at as merely a bargaining tool. It must be looked at as what it is — an agreement to strike if negotiations fail.

We support our union and we support the issues we’re fighting for, but we do not believe in all good conscience that now is the time to be putting people out of work.

None of our friends in the other unions are truly happy with the deals they made in their negotiations. Three years from now all the union contracts will be up again at roughly the same time. At that point if we plan and work together with our sister unions we will have incredible leverage.

As hard as it may be to wait those three years under an imperfect agreement, we believe this is what we must do. We think that a public statement should be made by SAG recognizing that although this is not a deal we want, it is simply not a time when our union wants to have any part in creating more economic hardship while so many people are already suffering.

Let’s take the high road. Let’s unite with our brothers and sisters in the entertainment community and prepare for the future, three years down the line. Then, together, let’s make a great deal.

Sincerely,

[About 130 actors who are on the “A” list, according to the people who decide what the “A” list is. And your pal Wil Wheaton, who is not on the A list, but still struggles to qualify for his health insurance every year.]

Allow me to give a little perspective on where I’m coming from: I’m a former member of SAG’s Hollywood board of directors. I’ve chaired committees, and I’ve sat in on negotiations. I’m about as pro-union and pro-actor as you can get, and I hate the insulting offer the AMPTP has given us. But I’m also a realist. If we go on strike in February, we won’t hurt the moguls enough to force them to negotiate with us, they’ll just fill up on “reality” programming and produce new works under the disastrous contract those idiots at AFTRA agreed to, while SAG’s health and pension plans are destroyed. We’ll definitely hurt our own members, and all of our friends from other departments who work with us on the set. Yeah, I realize that SAG’s first responsibility is to its own members, but we don’t exist in a vacuum, and we have to acknowledge that fact.

Let me be clear: The moguls can go to hell seventeen different ways for being greedy and unreasonable, and trying to bust our unions. In three years I’ll be the first in line to fight them as long as it takes … but we aren’t coming from a position of strength right now, and everyone knows it, especially the AMPTP. Producers and networks won’t feel the pain of a strike in any significant way, but a – and we all know that they’ll do whatever they can to drag it out as long as possible; look at what they did to the WGA – will likely ruin the lives of more middle and working class people than I care to think about.

For the SAG board to even consider voluntarily stopping work when we’re falling deeper and deeper into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression isn’t just stupid, it’s recklessly irresponsible. SAG needs to face the reality we’re stuck with: AFTRA sold us out. AFTRA fucked all actors everywhere by negotiating with the AMPTP on their own and agreeing to shockingly horrible terms. The AFTRA negotiators failed all actors, whether they’re currently SAG, currently AFTRA, or are still hoping to join. Those “negotiators” should be ashamed of themselves, and they shouldn’t be allowed in the same building as a contract ever again.

I believe the things SAG is asking for are entirely reasonable, I believe they reflect the reality of the entertainment industry in 2008 and beyond, and I believe that they are vital for actors to continue to make a living in the future – especially internet jurisdiction and residuals. In any other economic environment, I’d be willing to walk out in a heartbeat to get them. But we have to be realistic. People are losing their homes, can’t afford basic healthcare, and are struggling to support their families. SAG is not negotiating from a position of strength (thanks again for that, AFTRA, you’re awesome) but in three years, we can join our sister unions and we will be.

Sun Tzu teaches us that “He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.” SAG leadership needs to be responsible and realistic; this is not the time to have this fight. If you’re a SAG member, I urge you to vote no on the strike authorization vote, and be ready to fight like hell in three years.