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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Category: Film

windows open and raining in

Posted on 12 June, 2008 By Wil

I came across some really interesting items while Propelling today, which I wanted to share, because I can:

Farmers Put 220 Acres Under Glass to Create Vast Artificial Environment

On the chilly Isle of Thanet in Kent, England, farmers are placing 220 acres of land under glass so they can grow vegetables all year round. The greenhouse, when completed, will house 1.3 million plants and increase the UK’s crop of green vegetables by 15%. Called Thanet Earth, the project will be a series of 7 connected grenhouses with a relatively small carbon footprint. And nothing grown inside Thanet Earth will ever touch soil.

This interests me a great deal because I’m considering some hydroponic gardening in addition to my regular gardening here, as we attempt to reduce our carbon footprint and become more self-sufficient. Climate change played an important part in the worldbuilding of the novella I’m working on, so I’ve spent a lot of time researching the future of agriculture; it’s interesting to me to see people experimenting with different techniques in the present.

A Professional Gambler’s Take on the Tim Donaghy Scandal

Haralabos Voulgaris leads a rare life.

He’s one of very few people — Voulgaris estimates there may be as few as four or five — who have achieved a high level of success betting full-time on the NBA.

And he does very well at it. “In the last eight years,” he explains, “the 2004-2005 season was the only year where I didn’t turn a nice profit, and I lost very small.”

His approach is intensively evidence-based. He has his own massive database that would be the envy of any stat geek. For instance: Given two line-ups of players on the floor, his database does, he says, a good job of predicting which players will guard each other. The database also tracks the tendencies of individual referees, and factors all that and much more into forecasts. Voulgaris also watches close to 1,000 games a year.

He designed the database as a tool to outwit oddsmakers, and it works for that.

But it’s also a fine-tuned machine for researching the claims and career of Tim Donaghy. And having used this database, and his contacts in the sports betting world, Voulgaris says that his confidence in the integrity of the NBA has been shaken, to the point that, despite his big income, he’s looking for ways to stop betting altogether.

“The league has made a big mistake,” he says.

I sort of knew Haralabos back in my poker-playing days, and really liked him because he was one of the first players who was really kind to me, even though he had no reason to be. I knew he bet on sports, but I had no idea he was as serious as he appears to be. His perspective on this whole scandal was fascinating to me, especially how his data and analysis support Donaghy’s claims. He says the NBA has done a great job of sweeping the whole thing under the rug. Unfortunately, I agree with him.

The Watchmen Motion Comic

Warner Bros. plans on releasing about a dozen 22 to 26 minute webisodes to help make the complex story of Watchmen easier for the uninitiated to digest. Recently, WatchmenComicMovie was shown a teaser trailer for these webisodes by an anonymous source. From what we saw these webisodes are going to be really well done.

The series of webisodes, which will be titled Watchmen: A Digital Graphic Novel, will be less like a slide show of original comic panels and more of the comic book “brought to life” with rudimentary animation techniques.

The teaser is simply a conglomeration of different scenes from the comic book given motion and set to dramatic orchestral music. In order to animate the comic, the production team has apparently dissected the elements from each panel that they wanted to move — such as a cloud or a character — and animated it in front of a restored or “filled in” background.

For example — they animated the iconic comic panel that shows The Comedian’s funeral from above to not only have falling rain and lightning, but wind that realistically blows the coats and clothing of the mourners surrounding the open grave. In another, Ozymandias sits in front of his monitor bank — each commercial and T.V. program on the screens in motion — scratching the back of his pet Bubastis’ head. For lack of a better way to describe the trailer, it’s like you’re watching an episode of Watchmen: The Animated Series.

DUDE! Even though living in a post-Phantom Menace world has made my default position on all these thing “apprehensively optimistic” I can’t wait to watch these. It seems like everyone involved in Watchmen truly gets it, so it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep my hopes nice and low . . . they want to go up and up and up.

This last story isn’t my submission, but that’s just because my fellow scout Keith beat me to it:

The Prisoner remake: details emerge?

The Prisoner Appreciation Society (Six of One) is reporting that this classic, surreal sci-fi/adventure series is set to return for a six-episode miniseries run. The announcement coincides with The Prisoner’s 40th anniversary.

Reports have Jim Caviezel playing the heroic Number Six — actor with a penchant for playing long-suffering characters (Bobby Jones, Jesus). Sir Ian McKellen would play arch-nemesis Number Two, while cementing his status alongside Christopher Lee as the greatest nerd project actors of their generation. Between the two of them, they’d own Star Wars, James Bond, Lord of the Rings, Dracula, Frankenstein and X-Men).

The Prisoner is my all-time favorite TV show, ever. EVER! After watching marathon after marathon of The Prisoner, I grokked what makes people become Trekkies or Browncoats. It did more than entertain me, it inspired me. I know that’s weird to say about something that’s so Orwellian, but it’s true. The Prisoner spoke to me when I was a teenager. I bought the GURPS book, bought all the video tapes, and picked up every fan-made book and map of The Village I could find. I bought rub-on transfer letters in the Albertus font so I could make my own signs for my dressing room, and I painstakingly drew my own Number Six badge to wear on my jackets. I read and re-read the graphic Novel Shattered Visage fruitlessly looking for clues about . . . stuff. My first big external SCSI Mac II hard disk, which I think weighed in at a mighty 30 Megabytes, was named KAR120C. Again, living in a post-Phantom Menace world makes me a little nervous, and we’ve been talking about this remake almost as long as we were talking about a Watchmen movie, so I don’t even know if this is as reliable as it seems. Regardless, I’m hopeful that there’s someone out there who can treat it right. And a six episode mini-series would be freaking brilliant.

Okay, one last bonus link before I go: years ago, I did an episode of The Outer Limits called The Light Brigade. I was watching The Time Tunnel last night on Hulu, and saw that The Light Brigade is there, as well. It’s useless for non-US visitors (can you use a proxy to fool Hulu? I haven’t tried) but if you’re in the US and want to spend 44 minutes watching me . . . um . . . act, I guess is the word I’m looking for . . . now you can.

turns out this post is all about stand by me

Posted on 9 June, 2008 By Wil

I have to keep reminding myself that I can compose offline in ecto. Oh, related to that: I really like ecto, and feel comfortable endorsing it and recommending it to anyone who is looking for a full-featured offline editor for their blog.

Anyway, I guess AMC ran Stand By Me on DVD TV last night. Apparently, I’m the only person in the world who didn’t know about this, because I got tons of e-mail about it, and it appears that a lot of people who’ve never read my blog before are dropping by today to see what it’s all about. That fills me with performance anxiety, and makes me wish I had one of those “my favorite posts” posts to point you to. Maybe my Best of 2006 entry (which was a cleverly disguised starting point for The Happiest Days of Our Lives ) or a story like Blue Light Special would give you an idea of what I typically blather on about on my particular section of the ‘tubes.

OH! You know what I just thought? It would be totally cool — well, cool for me, anyway — if some readers wanted to leave links to their favorite posts in the comments. That way, I could, you know, lazyweb my way to a “readers favorites” post at some point in the future.

AMC has some really terrific blogs now, including a Sci-Fi blog that John Scalzi’s contributing to. There’s a post in their Future Classics blog that Stand By Me fans will probably enjoy about how Stephen King’s childhood inspired Stand By Me.

I really wish I’d seen it, because I’m always interested to know if other people remember things the same way I did, and because it’s really fun to know what else was going on outside of my 12 year-old acting bubble.

I guess they said that I was “upset” that Gordie never got his baseball cap back from Ace, which isn’t entirely accurate. I remember asking Rob why Gordie didn’t make Ace give him back his Yankees cap at the end of the movie, since it seemed like the sort of thing that should happen if Gordie and his friends “won.” (This made perfect sense to me when I was 12.)

Rob said that Ace didn’t keep the cap, and threw it away as soon as he walked around the corner. It wasn’t about the cap, Rob told me, as much as it was about Ace being cruel.

I learned a lot about filmmaking and storytelling in that conversation with Rob, and I still feel its influence on my creative life.

AMC also said that Kiefer Sutherland was a bully to all of us in real life. I don’t remember it that way at all, though I know Corey and Jerry have both said that he was pretty tough on them — method acting, I guess. It was different for me; I was certainly intimidated by him, but I don’t recall him going out of his way to be cruel or anything when the cameras weren’t rolling. In fact, my two clearest memories of him are being afraid that he was going to accidentally burn River’s face with the cigarette near the beginning of the movie, and that he wanted me to point the gun straight at his face near the end of the movie, which made me nervous, even though it wasn’t loaded.

Okay, one more memory and then I really have to get back to work: In that final scene, when Gordie pulls the gun on Ace, my instinct was to yell at him, like I was trying to intimidate him (again, this made sense when I was 12.) Rob let me rehearse it that way, and then he very calmly pulled me aside and asked me to try it again, but to keep my voice quieter. “Let the gun do the talking,” he said. “It’s more powerful.”

I was 12, so I said that I thought I should do it my way. (Ah, the impertinence of youth, how glad I am to be rid of it.) Rob nodded patiently and said, “Okay, listen to this.” He took a few steps away, and pointed his finger at my face. “No, Ace, just you,” he said. Gravely, quietly, seriously.

Then, he pulled that finger back and held it up.

“Now,” he said, “listen to this.” He took a deep breath, pointed his finger at my face again, and screamed, “NO ACE JUST YOU!”

His voice echoed off the river, as he asked, “Which one is scarier? Which one is stronger?”

I laughed nervously. “It’s scarier when you yell at me, but it’s stronger to be quiet, which is guess is scarier if you’re Ace.” I said.

“So let’s try it that way,” he said, kindly.

People always give me credit for being great in that movie. The truth is, I don’t think I deserve as much credit for it as I’m frequently given. I think back on my limited experience and my silly ideas, and then I see what a magnificent performance Rob Reiner coaxed out of me. The difference is striking.

Stand By Me is a classic film because of Jane Jenkins and Janet Hirshenson, who cast it, Rob Reiner,who directed it, Andy Scheinman, who produced it, and Ray Gideon and Bruce Evans, who wrote it. I was really good at taking direction, so I’ll take a little credit for that, but all of us were standing on the shoulders of giants.

“reinventing?” uh-oh. i’m not sure how i feel about this

Posted on 5 May, 2008 By Wil

Wired says that JJ Abrams promises to "reinvent" Star Trek:

"Effects for Star Trek have never, ever been done like
this," says Abrams, who credits George Lucas’ Industrial Light and
Magic for the visual fireworks.
 

Abrams was fanatical about Star Wars as a kid. But Star Trek?
Not so much. Directing the new movie, he tells the Associated Press,
"was an opportunity to take the characters, the thoughtfulness, the
personalities, the sense of adventure, the idea of humanity working
together, the sense of social commentary and innovation, all that stuff
and apply it in a way that felt genuinely thrilling."

Without a lot of context, it’s tough to puzzle out exactly what this means for guys like us who’ve loved Trek forever and ever. If he’s just talking about bringing modern special effects to Star Trek, which totally would make it more thrilling to watch, this is great news.

However, if this "reinventing" — which is such a loaded term in this post-Episode One world (5-19-99 never forget!) — extends to some of the fundamentals of the Star Trek mythos, and if he wants to make Star Trek more like Star Wars, we could be looking at the biggest geekriot in history.

On one hand, this could be Abrams saying, "I’m going to take Star Trek and make it relevant to an audience that hasn’t loved it and watched it for 40 years." That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

On the other hand, it could be him saying,
"Look, Trekkies, I know you’ve been watching this show for 40 years,
but I’m JJ Fucking Abrams and if I want to ‘reinvent’ this thing that
means so much to you, I’m going to do it. So don’t get your spacesuits
in a knot when I put turbines on the Enterprise, okay? They look cool!" That would be a very bad thing.

Speaking as a lifelong geek, my knee-jerk reaction when I hear someone talking about "reinventing" something like Trek is that it will be a tower of suck, built out of an endless supply of Jar-Jars and midichlorians.

However! Ron Moore reinvented BSG, and it’s the greatest thing ever, so reinventing things isn’t automatically horrible. In fact, if the article had been titled "JJ Abrams promises thrilling effects for Star Trek movie" I’d be celebrating right now. Language is important, as they say.

I guess it comes down to who is doing the reinventing, and if their vision builds upon the existing foundation in an interesting way, instead of pulling a massive, insulting retcon on us all. In his favor, JJ Abrams is really, really good at starting things (not so much with the keeping them awesome after one season, sadly,) but absolutely awesome at starting things. Since this is the beginning of Star Trek, I’m hopeful. Apprehensive, but hopeful.

So, yeah, not entirely sure how I feel about the "reinventing." At least the people who totally fucked Star Trek up aren’t involved, but why does anyone need to "reinvent" Star Trek at all? There’s a good reason it managed to endure through four decades and several generations of Trekkies and casual viewers alike. I hope JJ Abrams groks that, because I really want to like this movie.

Oh, how about an almost-instant update:

JJ Abrams also says:

 

"It was an opportunity to take what I think has been a maligned world _
to sound crass, a franchise _ and treat it in a way that made it
something that I wanted to see"

[…]

"The whole point was to try to make this movie for fans of movies,
not fans of `Star Trek,’ necessarily,’" Abrams said. "If you’re a fan,
we’ve got one of the writers who’s a devout Trekker, so we were able to
make sure we were serving the people who are completely enamored with
`Star Trek.’ But we are not making the movie for that contingent alone.

 

"You can’t really make a movie for them. As soon as you start to
guess what you think they are going to want to see, you’re in trouble.
You have to make the movie in many ways for what you want to see
yourself, make a movie you believe in. Then you’re not second-guessing
an audience you don’t really have an understanding of."

That makes a lot of sense, but, uh, JJ? You should probably understand Trekkies if you’re making a Star Trek movie. Seriously, have one of your minions make you a quickstart guide or something; it’s not that tough.

Anyway, making it for fans of movies instead of exclusively for Trekkies is something I can completely agree with, and shows that he
understands the massive challenge that making a movie like this brings. That’s real good news, as long as he doesn’t go turning Star Trek into Attack of The Four Toed Statues or something.

He also says:

"I feel like this is so unlike what you expect, so unlike the `Star
Trek’ you’ve seen. At the same time, it’s being true to what’s come
before, honoring it," Abrams said.

I’m going to commit heresy right now and say what few people are willing to say out loud: most of the Star Trek movies are absolute garbage. There have been ten Trek movies, and I’d say that two of them are accessible to mainstream audiences, another two are great, and the remaining six are nearly unwatchable. If JJ Abrams wants to make his new Trek movie unlike the 80% of Trek movies that aren’t that good, that’s just fine with me. Not that my opinion means anything, you understand, but rambling on and on about things like this is the price of being a geek, and I regret nothing. NOTHING!

this is one hell of a geeky weekend

Posted on 2 May, 2008 By Wil

I just put the finishing touches on the note for the house sitter (my favorite new addition to the standard boilerplate: how to hook up Rock Band without messing up my tours) and I’m about to head out to San Diego for some awesome geekery this weekend.

Before I leave, though, I had to say: Go see Iron Man this weekend. It is awesome.  I saw a preview screening on Monday, and other than
the score (which is absolute crap) the movie is damn near perfect. I
think it’s the best comic book movie since Sin City, and blows
Transformers and the last two X-Men movies into oblivion.

Need a little more convincing? Go see it for
the pitch-perfect performances, lead by Robert Downey Junior, who absolutely makes this film so enjoyable. io9 says,
“Iron Man is the first comic-book movie that’s actually better than its
source material. That’s partly because Iron Man is one of the most boring characters in
the history of comics, but it’s also because the movie manages to
transcend its source.” I was never a fan of Iron Man, but I’m positively looney for this movie.

If you’re looking for other ways to get your geek on this weekend: tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day, there’s a Maker Faire in the Bay Area, JPL’s Open House is in Los Angeles and there’s a BarCamp in San Diego.

Oh, and did I mention that I’ll be in San Diego?

i made some funny

Posted on 24 March, 2008 By Wil

My friends Greg and Kim are brilliant writers, and wonderfully creative
people. I met them at ACME, where I had the pleasure of performing
with them both, and writing with Kim.

Greg has a company called Mediocre Films ("They’re better than they sound") that has created some hilarious shorts, including Phone Call to God and Shoes. Kim is the executive producer on a web-based series called The Guild, which just won a YouTube award, (it will sit nicely on a shelf with the eleventy billion other awards they’ve won) and the two of them collaborate on the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show.

Greg and Kim have a friend named
Ponce, who has Down syndrome. Ponce is an actor and a comedian, and
they worked together to come up with a series of comedic shorts they
could release on YouTube. They call it Retarded Policeman, and it’s
really, really funny.

Greg and Kim are doing with video and
sketch comedy what I’m doing with publishing: refusing to take the
traditional route to reach an audience, and having a lot of fun while
we do it. Greg and I have been trying to find a way to do a Mediocre
Film together for a long
time, so when Greg offered me a chance to work on Retarded Policeman, I
grabbed it.

I’m sure this will offend some people, but I want to
make it clear that nobody is exploiting or making fun of Ponce, or anyone who has Down syndrome. If that was the case, none of us would have done it. If
anything, it’s making fun of how arbitrary and, well, retarded police
stops can be. This episode makes a reference to Episode 4, which was
really funny until it wasn’t.

If you liked this, you should totally watch Episode 6, which I think is absolutely hilarious and the funniest one yet.

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