the big dog-men live very high in the caves

The fourth edition Dungeon Master’s Guide is the DM’s guide I’ve wanted to read since I was a kid. Unlike previous editions, which were filled with all kinds of stat blocks and very little information on actually running a game, the 4E DMG could also be called The Art of Dungeon Mastering, because that’s pretty much what it is.

I mention this because I just saw a new release from Wizards that is another one of those “Where have you been all my life?” releases:

Dungeon Delve has been released! Dungeon Delve is designed for groups looking for an exciting night of monster-slaying without the prep time. It contains dozens of self-contained easy-to-run mini-dungeons, or “delves,” each one crafted for a few hours of game-play.The book includes delves for 1st- to 30th-level characters, and features dozens of iconic monsters for the heroes to battle. Dungeon Masters can run these delves as one-shot adventures or weave them into their campaign.

We all love a nice long campaign that starts in The Dales, and five years later lands us all at Baldur’s Gate before we head to the Outer Planes to battle the gods themselves, but sometimes you just want to grab your sword, head into the nearest hole in the ground, and whack as many Kobolds as you can, you know?

One of the great strengths of 4E, in my opinion, is that it lends itself perfectly to this type of instagaming, while it also supports the longer campaigns we all grew up loving to play. I really wish more of my fellow gamer geeks would understand this, instead of treating it as a failing or a reason to dismiss 4E without even playing it. I think it’s awesome that Wizards has released a book that contains a ton of pre-built dungeons that can be run as one-shots and finished in an evening, because it means more people will get to play more often. As much as I love gaming, I’ve pretty much given up on ever being able to have a weekly D&D group again; I just don’t have the time. Quick one-and-dones, as my friend calls them, are perfect for guys like me who love gaming and want to play, but can’t commit to something on a regular basis.

in which i send a naughty d20 to the “fuck off” bag

The second episode of the Penny Arcade D&D podcast is online, so if you've been shivering with antici…pation since we rolled for initiative last week, grab yer boots and get ready to dance:

Part 2 continues with a roll for initiative!

Acquisitions Inc. gets the drop on the sheltering guards (with faces painted like skulls), opening up with a brutal tide of iron.

But the armed guards are not without their backup, and soon enough the fight is joined in full. Overwhelming strike, (Jim's) magic missile, scorching burst, and even the legendary d12 are all employed in the battle… to various degrees of effectiveness. How well does the newest member of Acquisitions Inc. perform? Well, everyone has trouble their first time.

But in the end, they learn how fast minions fall… and why you bring Jim Darkmagic to the party!

If you're subscribed to the podcast in iTunes, you won't miss a single episode, but if you don't go to the homepage at WotC, you'll miss the awesome artwork that Mike and Scott have made to go with each episode, and nobody wants that.

drop down, reverse direction, increase speed

I told my wife, "You know, I haven't gotten past the first screen of Space Invaders in at least 20 years. I think I need to practice more." I thought for a second. "Train for it, I guess, is what I'm saying."

She looked at me. "Train for what?"

"Oh, um." I said, "you know, just to get better."

"Because?"

"Because I haven't gotten past the first screen in 20 years."

I have this Space Invaders T-shirt that I wear from time to time.

I don't wear it as often as I'd like, because it's filled with errors, like the score is all wrong for the number of invaders that have been shot, the shots in progress are all wrong, and … well, look, it's just nerd shit, I guess. It's still a cool shirt, and normal people can't see anything obviously wrong with it.

I had it on yesterday, when Anne and I went to the grocery store to pick stuff up for dinner, and the girl at the register commented on how much she loved to play the game when she was a kid.

Anne, Nolan, and Ryan have all told me that I should just keep my geek to myself in certain situations, but sometimes (read: all the time) I can't help myself. This was one of those times.

"Oh, yeah, I love this game," I said. "And I saw this T-shirt at Threadless.com earlier today that – " this is when she totally glazed over and got really interested in scanning our items.

"She's tuned you out! Shut up!" My brain screamed at me. Anne, polite to a fault, gently squeezed my arm.

I ignored them both. "It was so cool. It was one of these little guys," I pointed to one of the invaders on my shirt, "standing in front of several rows of these other little guys," I pointed to other invaders on my shirt as Anne tightened her grip, "and it was like he was a general, showing them the battle plan, which was a little dotted line going in this kind of 'move to the side and then drop down' direction!"

She and Anne shared a look. I couldn't tell who was more sympathetic to the other, but the message passed was clear: I am so sorry.

She totaled up our order, Anne paid her, and we walked out of the store. As the door closed behind us, I think I heard a loudspeaker say, "Clean up on register 5 … someone got Geek all over the place."

For the record, here's the shirt I was describing, which you can purchase from Threadless:

I know, right? Awesome.

one more from orccon

I just remembered this moment form Orccon on Monday that I thought was amusing enough to put in its own entry.

On the way down to the con, Nolan told me that he really wanted to buy some of his own dice to go with the dice I’d already given him.

“I want a huge bag of dice, like the one you have.” My heart swelled as he continued, “Do you think I’ll be able to do that thing you told me about where they give you a cup and you fill it up for like five bucks?”

“I can’t remember the name of the company that does that, but if they are at the con, I’m sure you’ll be able to do it.” I thought for a second. “In fact, it’s kind of a rite of passage, so I hope you do get to do that.”

“And it would mean more to me than you could ever understand to get to be part of it with you.” I thought.

We walked through the whole flea market, twice, and he couldn’t find any vendor who was offering the cup-o-dice, but while I was buying my giant d20, he picked through the little cases of dice on the table, eventually picking up up one of those d100’s that you always see at cons.

“What is this?” he said.

“A d100,” I said.

“Who uses that?” He said.

“Someone who doesn’t know how to roll 2d10,” I said.

We laughed together, and the vendor joined us. It was funny, because it was true.

Note: In the original draft, I misquoted my son. I recalled him saying “who needs that” but what he actually said was “who uses that.” It’s an important difference, and I wanted to correct my error.

very quick orccon recap

The Orccon gaming convention took over the Radisson hotel down by the airport this weekend. I love this con, and when I was a teenager, it was my first experience with packing eight friends into a hotel room, sleeping in shifts, playing hobby games with strangers, and really, truly getting my maximum geek on (and not sleeping more than two hours at a time.)

The convention went from Friday until Monday, and my initial plan was to go down on Friday by myself, take Nolan on Sunday, and go back on Monday by myself, if I still needed to recover any HP*. I hoped to find some ghosts of my youth lurking around the open gaming area or in the bargain bin at the flea market, take in a couple of panels, play some games, and do all the other the things that you do at a convention.

Ah, the best laid plans, as they say. Nolan ended up spending much of the weekend hanging out with friends, I ended up staying home and working, and we didn’t go to the con until Monday.

It was clearly winding down when we got there around noon yesterday. There weren’t many people at the show, and we didn’t get to watch a single panel because there weren’t any happening. We didn’t get to do much more than just wander around the flea market, but it was still a good time for both of us. I got to show Nolan a ton of classic games that I used to own — including Illuminati and Car Wars, still in their original keep cases. Awesome. He got to geek out about Magic with some dude who, unlike me, kept playing beyond Ice Age, and we both got to meet and talk with some fellow indie publishers who are also game designers, who hooked me up with two of their RPGS that look awesome.

As we waited for the rudest valet in the history of paying too much to park your car to bring ours around, I told Nolan, “There’s usually more going on at a con than just walking through the flea market, but we’re here right at the end of the show, and –”

“I totally get it, Wil,” he said. “Will you bring me to the next one, and we’ll go on a Saturday when there’s more to do?”

I felt like I’d rolled a critical success on the giant d20 I bought on the way out.***

“Absolutely, Nolan,” I said. “I would love that.”

*Non-gamers: characters in role playing games have hit points to measure how healthy they are. The fewer hit points your character has, the weaker and closer to death he is. During a gaming session, characters will go to taverns, inns, camps, and other places to recover their hit points, or “recover HP,” so gamers frequently use this term or a version of it to describe doing something that brings them joy or otherwise makes up for being forced to live in a mundane world. For example, Steve Jackson, a noted game publisher and important influence on my life, said that when he finished reading my book Dancing Barefoot: “(OK, I’m a geek, I’ll say it: I got some hit points back.) Because this is a real guy, with a real life, and he tells good stories.”

**I haven’t had time to read them, but steampunk fans probably want to take a look at them right now: Sons of Liberty and Full Light, Full Steam.

***It’s the size of a billiard ball, and I had to have it, you see, because I’m committed to seriously stress-testing the theory that says one can never have too many dice.