Category: Games

I think I may have gotten a sinus infection for Christmas. The last two nights I’ve woken up at least a dozen times, my head is killing me, and I’m so congested my head throbs whenever I move it. Which, as it turns out, is frequently.

So I’m exhausted and a little blurry right now, because I’m not getting enough sleep and I feel like my head is encased in lucite and pudding. Well, maybe pudding in a lucite box. Yeah, but the lucite doesn’t have any scratches in it, so it’s almost like it’s not there at all. But if it wasn’t there, what would hold the pudding? Nothing, that’s what. There’d be pudding every where, and I’d still feel like hell.

Uhm.

From that place — which isn’t exactly Bat Country, but is certainly on the road to it — I present my game of the year award:

Nobody asked me, but if someone did, my Game of the Year for 2007 is Portal, from The Orange Box, because I can’t recall the last time I played a new game and loved every single thing about it. Seriously, there’s nothing in Portal that I don’t like. The story is creepy and simple, the gameplay is unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered, and the length of the game — cited by its detractors as their chief complaint — was perfect for me. The soundtrack is awesome, too, and I find myself singing Still Alive almost every day. I loved Portal so much, I bought myself a Weighted Companion Cube plush toy for Christmas. I put it on the red chair next to the tree, with this silly snowman we put out for Christmas every year, but had to move it, because Ferris kept trying to take it off the chair and chew on it.

I’m not the only person who likes Portal enough to bring it into our world, either. When I finally gave up on staying in bed and trying to get sleep this morning, I came across this Portal LEGO display at Geekdad, who say “You could call it the Orange Blocks.” I loves it.

Oh, hey, look! Gabe and Tycho agree with me. See? Great minds think.

Runner up — by a Planck Length — is Rock Band, which I’ll be playing with my friends on Monday when they come over for the first annual Wil and Anne’s New Year’s Rock Band Eve. (This is why I’m going to the doctor today to get shot up with uranium or whatever I need to beat this sinus thing into submission right quick. I don’t want to cancel this party, El Guapo.)

Honorable Mentions: Bioshock, New Super Mario*, Puzzle Quest.

*Oops. This came out in 2006. But since I discovered it in 2007, I’m putting it on my 2007 list. Hey, I’m the boss around here, and I can make up whatever rules I want as I go along. Don’t mess with me; I’ll chase you with a used kleenex. I am so not kidding right now.

Last night, Ryan and I played Rock Band for a couple of hours, taking turns playing guitar and drums. We’re both sore today, and it was entirely worth it.

The point isn’t to play real instruments. The point is to pretend that you’re in a rock band, and have fun while you do it.

Our final set list was:

• All I Want is to be Next to You
• Reptilia
• . . . And Justice for All
• Foreplay/Longtime
• Won’t Get Fooled Again

At the end, I threw my drumsticks down on the living room floor, and threw both my arms into the air, throwing double goats. Ryan spun his guitar controller around his neck, threw his arms up into the air, and we shared a spontaneous double high five.

I don’t care about playing real instruments. I just want to have fun with my friends (or, in this case, my son.) I’ve played real guitar and real bass, and though it was always satisfying to play songs well, it was never as fun as it was playing in Zombitis* last night. Rock Band haters (who have to try real hard to impress everyone with how cynical they are) completely miss this fundamental point, which is sad. Maybe if they were having fun like this, they wouldn’t be such dicks.

*2/3 of Zombitis, anyway. We couldn’t convince Nolan to stop playing Warcraft long enough to rock out with us.

"I realised I don’t play games for the challenge. I
don’t need or want to be punished by a game for making mistakes. I play
games for what Ron Gilbert calls "new art". I play to see the next
level or cool animation. I don’t play games to beat them I play games
to see them. Coming to that realisation was actually sort of important
for me."
    – Gabe, at Penny Arcade

(Quoted
because this is exactly why I play games, too. This is similar to why I
love Rock Band so much: it lets me immerse myself in the fantasy that
I’m a rocker the same way sandbox games let me immerse myself in the
fantasy of the game’s world. It also explains why I vehemently hate
fighting games.)

For this week’s Geek in Review, I played a whole lot of Guitar Hero III and Rock Band, so I could review and compare them both. For you, dear readers, I made this terrible sacrifice. Indeed, I did it for those about to rock:

With the holidays fast approaching, the question facing wannabe rockers
and those who would buy gifts for them is clear: Rock Band, or Guitar
Hero III?

It’s not as simple as it may seem. Both games have strong and weak
points, and while they both have The Rock in common, they are
distinctly different games, and choosing which one is right for you or
your favorite lil’rocker can be a difficult proposition. Since we’re
talking about a substantial amount of money here – though the GH 3 360
bundle has an MSRP of $89 and the Rock Band Special Edition has an MSRP
of $160, both are in limited supply and are going for Tickle Me Elmo
prices online – I thought I’d use this week’s Geek in Review to review
both games, highlight their differences, and justify to my wife why
I’ve played both of them so much in the last two weeks, I have a
serious RSI in my right forearm and wrist.

I encourage you to read the entire review, but if you can’t, here’s the comparative bottom line:

These are very different games, and I like them both for very different
reasons. If you have friends who can consistently get together with you
to play, Rock Band destroys Guitar Hero. If you’re going to be playing
alone, or if you’re buying for a teenager who thinks the greatest
achievement in life is getting 5 stars on Buckethead in Expert mode,
mashing guitar buttons like we used to mash Street Fighter buttons,
then Guitar Hero III is a clear winner.

My personal bottom line? Guitar Hero III is awesome, but Rock Band pwns, and I have the RSI to prove it.