Category Archives: imported from Where’s My Burrito

Mini Vans Slorge makes

Mini Vans

Slorge makes my point about minivans:

On minivans, the thing minivans have going for them…is that they look like shuttle craft from Star Trek! Especially now with the TV/vcr combo’s, Onstar systems, radar detectors, cel phones, etc., You’ve practically got a bridge on that ship.

Great. Just ^%@#*ing great. So I drove over 18 hours in a $%!ing shuttlecraft. I do not have the words to express how mortified I am

Home At Last Hey gang.

Home At Last

Hey gang. I’m back home from my wife’s birthday trip to Tahoe.
Holy crap, we had so much fun. If many of you were noticing that, in the last few days, you haven’t been having any fun, it’s our fault. We were having, to quote my step-son, “all the fun!”
There’s too much to put up now, because, even though I’ve been in the car for nine hours, I’m getting ready to have a meeting with Roger Avary about The Rules Of Attraction. Hopefully, when I return tonight, I’ll be able to tell you all about our trip, including:

  • The Rafting Trip
  • Swimming To The Pontoon
  • The Bear
  • And I’ll be able to slip in some really good news, somthing along the lines of “I got a cool part in the movie!”
    So be good, and Uncle Willie will tell you a story when he gets back.
    And a big “thanks!” (That’ll be really funny once you see Lifegame) to the 7 of my beloved friends who sent me email while I was gone.
    Wil

    Vacation I know this

    Vacation

    I know this is going to upset you, but somehow I know you’ll find a way to struggle through… your Uncle Willie is heading out of town for a week, and won’t have net access.
    Okay, okay, stop your cryin’, or I’ll give you something to cry about!
    It’s Mrs. Uncle Willie’s birthday, and we’re heading up to fabulous Lake Tahoe with the kids and the dog. Sounds great, right?
    Hold on a sec…we’re going up there in …a minivan.
    That’s right. A mini-van. We had to rent a bigger car, so we could fit all our crap and the Ferris’ crate…and rather than get something sort of cool like a lame SUV, we got a mini-van. I’m driving for 8 hours in a minivan.
    I am so lame.
    Let’s talk about minivans for a second, shall we? Is there another mode of transportation, not regularly used by the Amish, that is more lame? When I see a minivan, I think, “That person’s just given up. they’ve reached their goal in life of having the 3.5 kids, the dog and the coveted PTA membership.”
    There’s nothing more sad to me than seeing some dude, who you can tell used to be cool, or some woman, who was probably a hottie at one time, behind the wheel of a Ford Aerostar, the bumper covered with a protective layer of “my kid was the student of the month” bumper stickers, the windows smeared with greasy little kid handprints, and the sad, mournful sound of “Radio Disney” blaring out of the open windows.
    The mini-van that we got is the Dodge Caravan. It’s the one with the easily removable seats. Last night, Anne and I were moving the seats out, and it was much easier than I thought it would be, and I caught myself thinking “This is kinda cool”….suddenly, and without warning, I screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” My wife looked at me, terror in her eyes, and asked what was wrong.
    “I thought, for a millisecond, that there was something cool about this van.”
    My wife walked around the minivan, came close to me, and punched me full in the mouth.
    “Don’t ever think something like that again.”
    “Thank you.”
    So I won’t be able to update the site, obviously, and all that stuff that I wanted to do before I left town, like get the new site up and running, and opening the store and all that won’t happen until I get home.
    But! Have no fear! I have a cool site for you to check out until I get back. It’s called “Killoggs“. It’s a very cool blogging site, created by the amazing bendependent and loren
    Have a great weekend and week, and play nice. Don’t make me turn this minivan around, because I’ll do it.

    Comments! Hey kids. I

    Comments!

    Hey kids. I am working really hard on getting the new site up, but it’s a lot harder than I thought.
    Just part of being lame, I guess. But have no fear! I’m off the the book store to get a new HTML book. Hopefully, one which will actually help, rather than confuse.
    Failing that, I’m gonna bite the bullet and resort to using frontpage.
    Relax, Mae Ling
    But here is some cool news! I think I’ve gotten it set up so anyone can comment on my ramblings here.
    Have fun, kids.
    Wil