Finding The Bear That Helps You Make Things

Welcome Angela Webber of The Doubleclicks to WWdN! She’s sharing this special guest post with us while Wil Wheaton is at sea. You can get her band’s latest album, “President Snakes” on Bandcamp, listen to her comedy/RPG podcast, “Gosh Darn Fiasco,” watch her web series about cats, or follow her on Twitter and Tumblr. She is trying very, very hard to be the genuine best.

Hello everyone! As that introduction says, my name is Angela and I am a self-employed creative person. I’m in a band, I write things, I tell jokes, and I generally try to make things as much as possible. This is really really cool. But also: it’s sort of terrible. Like many creative types, I live with depression and I’m pretty bad at being self-motivated, I’m full up with imposter syndrome and I have enough negative self-talk to sink a Bucklebury Ferry (or larger water-traveling vessel, that was just the first one I thought of). But I do it—I make things all the time, and it’s my job, and I’m actually a pretty happy person these days. I’d like to share with you some of the ways I’ve found to make myself happy in a motivational post I’d like to call:

FINDING THE BEAR THAT HELPS YOU MAKE THINGS: Using negativity for positive ends

Oh god, a bear! — See? How can you be afraid of this guy? He’s so cute!

It is so easy to hang on to the negative things in life. I, just for a quick example, remember negative online comments much, much longer than positive ones. Logically, I know this is ridiculous. People who hate my stuff don’t matter, and people who like me and my art are really the ones that should care about. I tweeted something about this once, about how I wish I could remember the positive things more than the negative ones, and my friend Michael gave me some really great insight. It’s a survival instinct to watch out for the bad things more than the good ones. If you live in a forest with a scary bear and a bunch of delicious berries, you need to keep that scary bear on your mind all the time. You need to hide your food and yourself, you need to avoid the bear’s territory—and no matter how delicious those berries are, that bear is going to be bigger in your mind. This applies to internet comments, to drama, and to rejections of all kinds.

So what do we do with this, when we’re supposed to be all self-motivated and CREATIVE? How do we keep our energy up and ourselves happy? Well, I take negativity and I embrace it. If these negative thoughts, these scary bears, are the ones that are going to stick in my mind anyway, I might as well find the bears that help me. Here are some thoughts that keep me going.

Continue reading… →

Jenn & Trin Do Friendship at the Problems

Welcome Jenn & Trin to WWdN! They kindly answered some questions written by Will Hindmarch, made up just to share with us while Wil Wheaton is at sea. Their friendship is the genuine best.

Jenn & Trin are the community & event directors behind Cards Against Humanity. They co-host a podcast called Friendshipping, a weekly discussion about friendship and mental health. Every week they answer audience questions, like “How do I stop feeling jealous of successful friends?” or “What if I have a crush on my BFF?” or “Should I ask my friend why she unfollowed me on Twitter?”

Will Hindmarch caught up with them via some of the communications technologies that are so popular right now and asked them a few questions about podcasting and friendships and windjammers…

Q: If you were to describe your podcast to someone who is not a friend of yours, perhaps someone sitting next to you on an airplane, how would you describe it — and where would each of you be likely to help move the conversation thereafter?

Trin: I recently spoke with a woman who told me that she goes on annual cruises with her friends of 30, maybe 40 years. I told her that her story was especially interesting to me because I care so much and so deeply about friendship that I record myself and my good friend Jenn talking about it every week, and we put it on the Internet. That’s the crux of it for me – we just truly give a shit. If I were trying to get someone to listen to the podcast, I guess I’d tell them that it’s two women giggling and complimenting each other for 20 minutes, and they eventually give people advice on being a more empathetic person and better friend.

Jenn: Friendshipping is what I needed when I was younger. I wasn’t a particularly good friend, and I thought I was doomed to feel that way. But that’s not true! No one is doomed. It turns out, friendship is actually a skill and you can improve at it. No one’s a perfect friend, but you can improve. So our podcast is for anyone who wants to make new friends, or strengthen their current relationships. Plus, it’s an excuse for me to hang out and talk with Trin for an hour on Monday mornings. We have to cut out about 40 minutes of our giggling. Trin literally makes me cry of laughter before I’ve even had coffee. Best way to start the week.

Q: What’s the secret origin of Friendshipping and/or its theme song?

Trin: We asked our friend Molly Lewis to write a song that could be anything as long as it was very short and included “Do friendship at the problem.” We trusted her entirely and we were not disappointed!

Jenn: Molly is a genius.

Q: What’s the bold future of Friendshipping as/or beyond a podcast?

Trin: We’ve long considered branching out into other projects! Right now we hold friendship advice panels at the PAX conventions called Making Friends in Geek Spaces. Our 50th episode is going to drop in a few weeks, so we’re old pros at this stuff. Now’s the time to experiment.

Continue reading… →

I put the (ADD WORD LATER) in Procrastination!

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Welcome Bonnie Burton to WWdN! They’re sharing this special guest post with us while Wil Wheaton is at sea. Find more of her work at CNET and GRRL. They’re the genuine (wait for it) best.

Pssst…. you… yeah you! Come closer. I have a super-secret secret to tell you about writers. Not only are we really good at taking a tiny idea like a time-traveling barista or a dog who can solve murders into a novel or a screenplay, we’re even better at taking a very long time getting those precious ideas onto paper.

One of the things we hate to do most is sit in front of a computer as it mocks us with a blinking cursor on a blank screen. Long before social media came to our rescue by distracting us from deadlines for hours, we would sit and have a staring fight with our screen saver. I’ve aced every game that came with my computer. You’re looking at the Queen of Solitaire.

Procrastination is the worst kind of frenemy. It makes you believe that you’re a super writer with mutant typing abilities. You can binge watch all of “The Walking Dead” and “Murder She Wrote” and still make your deadline. Sure, ya can.

That’s the problem. You want to believe that you’re are the master of your own destiny as the next Dorothy Parker or F. Scott Fitzgerald. But what you really are is an expert in zombie combat and ‘80s murder mystery TV shows.

But why do we give into the sweet seduction of doing anything but writing? Could it be our constant fears that the Fraud Police will show up at our front doors demanding that we finally admit we’re hacks and turn over our laptops?

Is the risk of failing worse than not trying at all? I know that it can be easier to believe you don’t suck as a writer, if you don’t write. But that’s not an option for me. If I don’t write regularly I get antsy. I start talking to myself in the grocery store. I begin to think I can telepathically communicate with my dog. So for all our sakes, I write.

Maybe we’re just worried about non-stop rejection from editors, publishers, producers and other writers. Or perhaps we’re still traumatized by those YouTube comments (the ones you’re never suppose to read) left on our last video post. Personally, it’s all the above.

I’ve published books and comics. I’ve written endless articles and columns. But when a deadline looms instead of tackling the project head-on, I often wait until the last possible moment — usually 3am — to write that commentary about sex robots or to finish up that half-written novel about a ghost who only haunts donut shops.

Eventually, I sit down, write my tome and then go to bed angry that I didn’t spend endless hours writing draft after draft, honing my skills like a real artist. But here’s the big secret. ALL writers procrastinate. It’s what we do; it’s part of the process. And even super-successful novelists can’t keep up with their own deadlines.

Just look at George R.R. Martin who just missed a deadline for his latest book. Sure that comedy skit on “Conan” last week wasn’t actually Martin himself shopping for a new bed or robbing banks instead of writing but honestly, I wouldn’t doubt it for a minute. It’s one thing to take forever to write another installment to a beloved book series, but it’s quite another when your fans never let you forget that your next book better kick ass.

In fact, I bet some of you are reading this guest blog instead of getting stuff done. So instead of feeling guilty for googling exes, reading obscure Wikipedia entries or checking your Twitter every 5 minutes, cut yourself some slack. Us writers find ideas from the weirdest places and sometimes from procrastination itself.

Knowing every single episode of “Magnum P.I.” by heart will really pay off for me when I finally write Tom Selleck’s unauthorized biography. Maybe giggling at all those Tumblr cat memes will motivate me to write the next cat comic to rival Garfield and Bill the Cat.

So procrastinate with pride. Just remember to eventually write about it.

American Graffiti (2016)

Welcome Brad Willis to WWdN! He’s sharing this special guest post with us while Wil Wheaton is at sea. Find more of his work at BradWillis.net and Rapid Eye Reality. He’s the genuine (guy-you-probably-haven’t-heard-of) best.

Along the path I walk my dogs, there is a place in the sidewalk where someone once saw an opportunity. On that day so many years ago, a contractor poured the wet concrete into its frame, took care to smooth it and make it level, and departed with hope the work would be left undisturbed.

On that same day, someone else crept up. That person knelt at the curb and, with no apparent concern for straight lines, scrawled a message for future walkers. It was a snapshot–a hot take, if you will–of whatever was happening in that vandal’s mind, a one-word ode to future generations of wide-eyed children and world-weary dog walkers:

BITCH

I see it every time I walk by, and I wonder just what was happening that day. I picture some kid with a stick in his hand. I see him looking over his shoulder as he drags the stick through the gravel and cement. I imagine him impressed with his ability to forever make his mark. That kid could’ve written anything.

That kid wrote: BITCH.

You can get a good measure of a man by putting him in reaching distance of some wet concrete.

Today, we all have a stick. We call it Twitter, Facebook, or whatever new thing gets angel-funded tomorrow. Every new day gives us a fresh square of wet concrete. Someone kills a police officer? Get out the stick. A police officer kills an unarmed person? Get out the stick. Politician says something terrible? Stick.

Though I was an early adopter in world of social media, it wasn’t until late 2012 that it started to give me pause. On the day Adam Lanza shot and killed 20 children and six members of the Sandy Hook Elementary staff, my immediate gut reaction was impossible sadness and confusion. Within hours, I saw this post from a guy with whom I went to high school.

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I screen-capped it and put it in a folder on my desktop to remind me of the first time I thought, “This is what we’ve become. We don’t go back from this.”

It’s since been said a hundred times over: if the murder of 20 children doesn’t bring America together in change, nothing will.

“Get off your heals (sic),” that guy wrote on the day of the Sandy Hook massacre. What should’ve been a cringe-worthy and laughable misspelling looked more like prophecy to me.

No matter what happened—maybe ever again—the time for healing was done.

It was apparently time to fight.

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Geek Metaphor

Welcome Angela Melick to WWdN! She’s sharing this special guest post with us while Wil Wheaton is at sea. Find more of her work at Wasted Talent and follow her on Twitter. She’s the genuine (Canadian) best.

When I was sixteen, I’d spend weekends with my dad at the driving range. Unlike most fathers, mine didn’t particularly enjoy golf. But, he was a career man, and he thought that lowering his score would make the many business-related golf outings he was made to attend run much smoother. Since I aspired to the same profession (engineering), I went along, and dad hoped that this head start would afford me an advantage he had lacked.

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I’ve been in the field for almost a decade now, and I’ve never once been asked to a golf game in a business context. It seems to me like things are changing in business, especially in the world of High Tech. Sports was once a critical way to bond with a stranger. You could chat with anyone about last night’s game, and some of the biggest business deals were brokered on the putting green. These days, most of my coworkers will wave away discussions of the Local Sports Team with a disinterested shrug. High Tech is the realm of geeks, and while there are lots of geeks who love football and golf, such an interest can no longer be assumed.

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What’s interesting to me is what’s replacing it, and I think that the new social bond between strangers could become geek culture. Sports metaphors still litter business discussions, but lately I’m just as likely to hear a Star Trek metaphor. The most heated debates in the office centre around the relative merits of different Sci-Fi franchises, or the latest superhero films. We bond over the many hours lost in Azeroth. We’ve had office LAN parties and onesie anime nights. I’ve successfully used the word “tsundere” in a business context. (Although, I once joked to a client that we could implement self-destruct into their product as a security feature and that fell flat – exercise your geekdom with caution.)

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Okay, so I work for an unusual company. I would consider us on the fringe In a lot of ways, but I can also see this as a sign of things to come.

I was surprised to hear this year at CES that the CEO of Intel had hired a League of Legends coach. When I thought more about it, I realized how often I never get to meet my colleagues or clients in real life. Many of my projects are coordinated remotely, and my team is spread all over the world. There is no “local” sport my whole team can share. But there’s only one League.

Geekdom is attractive because of its accessibility. Anyone can be a gamer, anywhere on planet earth. Local terrain and climate are irrelevant. You don’t need to be tall, strong or a fast runner. You can start a match with your teammates instantly, globally. We work with our wits, so should we bond with them. Will I be brokering my future business deals in some auction house of some future MMO? I couldn’t say, and I can’t imagine it will be for awhile. But I do know I’d rather live in a world where my geek cred will do more for my business prospects than my golf swing.

And anyway, I still suck at golf.

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