Category: Podcast

Books

Radio Free Burrito Presents: The Middle Toe of the Right Foot by Ambrose Bierce

Posted on By Wil

I’m feeling creative, and a little antsy, so I made you a thing!

Today’s free audiobook is The Middle Toe of the Right Foot, by Ambrose Bierce. I explain all about how I found it and why I’m so freaking excited to do this particular story, in the intro.

So instead of repeating all of that here, I’ll just give you a download link and an embed, and strongly encourage you, if you like my audiobook narration, but haven’t spent some time with any of these recent releases, to give this one a listen.

I am, if you can not tell by now, obnoxiously proud of myself.

Stay home! Stay healthy!

Books

Radio Free Burrito Presents: Thoughts on the Worldstate by Henry Kuttner

Posted on By Wil

I wasn’t planning on recording today, but while I was looking for something to record tomorrow, I found a thing that I loved so much, I couldn’t wait.

The story I chose is titled “Thoughts on the Worldstate”, and it was written by Henry Kuttner. It is from the Spring, 1940, issue of Futuria Fantastia, which was edited by Ray Bradbury. (Side note: if you’re looking for something to read, and you enjoy speculative fiction, I think you may like this issue of the magazine as much as I do. It’s a whole lot of fun to read, and the illustrations are pretty great.)

 

Radio Free Burrito Presents: The Ghost of Harrowby Hall

Posted on By Wil

While I listen to medical professionals and practice self-quarantine at home, I’m making an effort to create and release free audio book shorts every few days. It’s a good way for me to stay connected to my creative self, when my everything else self is so anxious and scared, all it wants to do is hide under the blankets and play video games.

I’m doing what I can, to do use the skills I have during this pandemic in a way that is helpful. At first blush, creating entertainment seems kind of silly and pointless right now. People are dying, people are unemployed, and we’re all doing our best to not freak out, right? We need masks and PPE and ventilators, and a president who isn’t a fucking incompetent liar, who puts his personal accumulation of wealth and power ahead of the lives of the people he is supposed to lead.

Everyone does what they can in times of crisis. For someone who is a first responder, they know exactly what to do right now. It’s what they’ve dedicated their lives to. Same for medical professionals. Then we have the heroic efforts of the supermarket employees, package delivery employees, and local restaurants, who all know precisely what their call to public service is going to be during this crisis.

But what about entertainers? I mean, can you think of anything more useless? People are dying and you’re going to read me a story? Really?

…well, yeah. Because that’s all I can do. My skill set is limited to performing and entertaining. It’s not the path I would have chosen for myself, but it’s what I know how to do, and it’s something that I’m not terrible at. In fact, I’m pretty good at it (he says, knowing he would make different performance choices if he did this one again), and it seems like a waste to just crawl into a blanket fort right now, while everyone else is doing what they can to help.

So I’m going to entertain, the best that I can, because that’s what I know how to do. I mean, I still want to be entertained and distracted right now, maybe more than ever. There is nothing I look forward to these days as much as I look forward to Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune every night, because for an hour I get to forget that the world is on fire.

What if I could be to someone else what Jeopardy is to me? What if I used these skills I have to make some entertainment for anyone who wants it? It’s not the worst idea! I am by far not the worst!

I’m having fun doing this, and I’ll keep doing it as long as people are listening and want me to continue.

Today’s reading is The Ghost of Harrowby Hall. It’s a 19th century satirical ghost story with some great dialog.

 

Books

Radio Free Burrito Presents: The Sun Goddess

Posted on By Wil

I don’t want to commit myself to making full-on Radio Free Burritos right now, but I do want to stay creative and productive while I listen to experts who are not fucking idiots and stay home until the doctors tell me it’s safe for everyone to go back to the Old Ways of three weeks ago.

I love narrating audiobooks. I love that my job is to read and perform, to bring stories to life, for people who want to be distracted and entertained. It’s a real blessing that I get to combine things that I love, and do them for my job.

So while I’m staying home and feeling grateful af that I can afford to be out of everyone’s way for at least several months, I want to do something, however small, to give people who are stressed out, overwhelmed, or just bored, something to listen to while they catch their breath.

And as long as this works (meaning I enjoy it and people want me to keep doing it), I’ll be reading short stories from the public domain every few days, and uploading them to my SoundCloud.

I read these cold, and I don’t do any editing, so you’ll hear me mess up, you’ll hear background noise, and it won’t be as polished as the work I’ve done for Big Audiobook, but it’s free, so back off, man.

Anyway, here’s today’s. I hope you enjoy it.

A Japanese myth, published in 1918.

blog

It’s Friday afternoon, so I narrated another pulp story.

Posted on By Wil

Yesterday, I finally turned in the manuscript of my novel. I’d been revising it for seven months, and by “revising” I mean, “trying to fit a scene in that I wanted to put into it, but which doesn’t seem to fit anywhere and also staring at page after page wondering why I ever thought I should tell this story in the first place.”

Yeah, it was fun. Thanks, depression brain!

Anyway, doing that narration last week did the thing I hoped it would do, and it opened up the door to the place in my brain where the creativity lives. With access to that room, I was able to step out of the room where Everything Sucks And It’s All My Fault And I’m Terrible At Everything So I Should Just Stop Trying and look at my creative work without fear or judgment.

I could be wrong (my agent and eventual editor will tell me if I am), but I feel like I spent all this time trying to make something better for the sake of making it better, when I had gotten it as good as I was going to get it on my own already. There’s a lesson in here about knowing when your desire to work hard becomes a self-defeating exercise in impossible expectations.

So anyway, it’s Friday, and I wanted to be creative and to feel productive, but I’m giving my writing brain a few days off because it’s been working really hard for a long time and it needs to recharge. Luckily for me, my performer brain was inspired to do another pulp fiction magazine audiobook narration, because it was so much fun the last time I did it, and the feedback was so positive and effusive.

Therefore, I am happy to present to you, Please Help Me To Die! from 1938, written by Leon Byrne, and found at the Pulp Magazines Project.

As before, you can stream or download from my SoundCloud. BUT FIRST YOU HAVE TO KNOW that the mic was hot, and I really needed a pop filter. The audio quality is not particularly great on this one, which is a shame because the story is awesome. But, I promise to give you a full refund for your purchase price if the audio quality does not meet your expectations.