Now, when you have that moment in the day where you wonder to yourself, “Aw, shit. What day is it?” You can just click here, and now you’ll know.
No need to thank me. I’m happy to help.

Just a reminder that tonight on A&E, you can catch the Biography of River Phoenix, which I narrate.

I’d like everyone to put down the flags and quiet the dogs of war for a moment, and remember the people who lost their lives six months ago, today.
Thank you.

I really love the weather today.
That’s right. I’m talking about the weather. Nice, banal, weather conversation. Guaranteed not to stir up any controversy, or incite any riots.
Seriously, though. I had to be at work at 8 this morning, and, thanks to the wonderful Los Angeles freeway system, I had to leave my house at 6:30. This meant that I got up with the Sun, which is never a bad thing.
My neighborhood is just filled with all kinds of wildlife: Peacocks, wild parrots, Canadian geese, and the usual finches and sparrows that pretty common in Southern California. When I get up really early in the morning, I always walk out onto my patio, and just listen to them for a second. It’s a really nice way to start the day, I think. On a misty morning like today, Ferris runs through the backyard, leaving little Ferris-prints in the wet grass, before she hurries to the back door, asking to be let in for breakfast.
When I left my house, I drove through this canyon nearby, and the tops of the hills were completely obscured by low-hanging fog and mist, which made LA look really pretty. Believe me, it’s not easy to make LA look pretty.
By the time I got to work in West Los Angeles, the clouds and fog had lifted, and there was nothing but clear blue sky, and a really stiff breeze.
At lunch, I walked down the street to eat, and some of those little puffy clouds had shown up, and the wind was really making them truck across the sky, which was super cool to watch.
If you live in Northern California, you should totally know what type of day I’m talking about. We don’t get these days often in SoCal, so I really appreciate them when we do.
Speaking of weather, I wrote another silly satire piecefor BBSpot. I went for a “man on the street” style of writing. It was fun.
That’s all I’ve got for today, folks. I’m off to this charming market, where I can enjoy a wonderfully delicious halibut sandwich.

With gratitude to jbay:

Gary Condit’s Top Ten Campaign Slogans
10. Remember me? Not too much I hope. Just enough to vote for me.
9. Let’s Put The “Adult” Back In “Adultery”
8. Vote for me … I’ve done nothing. I’m not even a suspect.
7. I have no skeletons in my closet…but you will need a warrant to look.
6. I Condid It
5. Make America’s problems disappear. Vote Condit.
4. Vote for me and see what else I can get away with.
3. We’re at war — this is no time for bickering and arguing over who killed who …
2. Do something for Gary, and he intern…er…in turn will do something for you…
1. Protect California Women — Send Gary Back to Washington!